(no subject)
RE: My Previous Bitchy Emo Entry
I was stressed. Stressed beyond belief. Last Sunday broke my heart, and I thought everything was over. But I found some very amazing friends and received some helpful advice and everything is better. In fact, it's surpassed everything I've felt in the past year. I am happier than I have been in an extremely long time, and I have so many people to thank for it. All I did different was let go.
See, I am a very close-lipped person. I don't share how I feel with anyone. I suppose it's partially because I see all these people around me sharing their problems with anyone who will listen and being sympathy whores, I don't want to be like them. So I do that by shutting myself inside and not communicating with anyone. This leaves me alone and depressed, and that's how I've been living my life for the past year.
Sure, I'll share my little problems: I can't go swimming today because I'm on my period. But the big problems? Forget it. After being sober and crying more in two days than I had in a year, I was ready for something new, something to change my life. I was a real dickhead, treating my closest friends like the scum of the earth. But one of them opened my eyes, and made me realize that these are life-long friends. These people, the ones who picked me up after Chad destroyed me, the ones who've stuck with me when I've been at my lowest, these are the ones I need to rely on, and the ones who need to know they can rely on me.
I've turned over a new leaf. I've opened myself up to several people I haven't before, simply because I was afraid of what they would think of me. But it's so much easier to be this way. Am I a sympathy whore? Not by any means. I'm sharing myself with two or three people, not everyone I run across. That doesn't make me needy or resentful, that makes me human. And I'm so glad for it.
I was stressed. Stressed beyond belief. Last Sunday broke my heart, and I thought everything was over. But I found some very amazing friends and received some helpful advice and everything is better. In fact, it's surpassed everything I've felt in the past year. I am happier than I have been in an extremely long time, and I have so many people to thank for it. All I did different was let go.
See, I am a very close-lipped person. I don't share how I feel with anyone. I suppose it's partially because I see all these people around me sharing their problems with anyone who will listen and being sympathy whores, I don't want to be like them. So I do that by shutting myself inside and not communicating with anyone. This leaves me alone and depressed, and that's how I've been living my life for the past year.
Sure, I'll share my little problems: I can't go swimming today because I'm on my period. But the big problems? Forget it. After being sober and crying more in two days than I had in a year, I was ready for something new, something to change my life. I was a real dickhead, treating my closest friends like the scum of the earth. But one of them opened my eyes, and made me realize that these are life-long friends. These people, the ones who picked me up after Chad destroyed me, the ones who've stuck with me when I've been at my lowest, these are the ones I need to rely on, and the ones who need to know they can rely on me.
I've turned over a new leaf. I've opened myself up to several people I haven't before, simply because I was afraid of what they would think of me. But it's so much easier to be this way. Am I a sympathy whore? Not by any means. I'm sharing myself with two or three people, not everyone I run across. That doesn't make me needy or resentful, that makes me human. And I'm so glad for it.