(no subject)
Real talk time: So last night was karaoke night, and I got there right at 6:30 so the parking lot was full. There's a large parking lot for a strip of grocery stores a short block away, so I park there when needed. It was sort of drizzly, so I grabbed my umbrella in case it decided to start pouring by the time I left.
So the area the restaurant is in, is a bit sketchy during the day... Walking back to my car when I left around 10:30? TERRIFYING. I haven't felt this unsafe since my last apartment in Cincinnati, where walking from my car to the building felt like walking through a war zone. I had my keys laced through the fingers of one hand like Wolverine, and was wielding my umbrella like a baseball bat, SUPER grateful I'd grabbed it... I had to pass a group of men standing behind the restaurant smoking first, and I gave them a wide berth, but they were all polite and told me "have a good night." Then I had to walk through the absurdly dark stretch between houses before I got to the parking lot my car was in.
So of course this is when some random dude who was also leaving the restaurant (but wasn't one of my karaoke friends) decides to chat me up while I'm trying to walk one short block back to my car. Having to humor a man because I am afraid of violence against my person if I ignore him is the worst thing ever. He actually ASKED ME MY NAME and called me "mami" during this conversation, and commented on my body and how beautiful I am. I was afraid he'd follow me to my car, and once I got in, I immediately locked the door, and I almost fumbled the keys trying to start it because I was shaken up and afraid he'd approach my car before I had a chance to escape. He had walked to the back of one of the stores the parking lot is for, and I was watching him like a hawk while I backed out and ran for it.
Rape culture is real. Patriarchy is real. I should not feel that unsafe walking one block to my car at night. I should not regret choosing to cut through the alley and decide that from now on I will go the long way where there are more streetlights. I should not feel like I need someone to escort me to my car from now on. I should be able to go out on a Friday night and get back to my vehicle without having to humor random men.
Please, guys, don't engage in street harassment. Leave women ALONE. We are just trying to live our lives without being told to smile or asked our names. Commenting on our bodies is not a compliment. If we want to talk to you, we are perfectly capable of striking up a conversation on our own. We should not have to improvise weapons out of our keys and umbrellas to feel some measure of safety. Rape and violence prevention does not start with us, it starts with YOU. Even if you personally would not rape or harm a woman, doesn't mean you don't know someone who would. Don't participate in the jokes. Don't participate in the street harassment- no cat calling, no asking girls for their name, no telling them to "smile." Call your friends out when they do. You're the ones with the power to change things, and it is your responsibility as decent human beings to do so.
So the area the restaurant is in, is a bit sketchy during the day... Walking back to my car when I left around 10:30? TERRIFYING. I haven't felt this unsafe since my last apartment in Cincinnati, where walking from my car to the building felt like walking through a war zone. I had my keys laced through the fingers of one hand like Wolverine, and was wielding my umbrella like a baseball bat, SUPER grateful I'd grabbed it... I had to pass a group of men standing behind the restaurant smoking first, and I gave them a wide berth, but they were all polite and told me "have a good night." Then I had to walk through the absurdly dark stretch between houses before I got to the parking lot my car was in.
So of course this is when some random dude who was also leaving the restaurant (but wasn't one of my karaoke friends) decides to chat me up while I'm trying to walk one short block back to my car. Having to humor a man because I am afraid of violence against my person if I ignore him is the worst thing ever. He actually ASKED ME MY NAME and called me "mami" during this conversation, and commented on my body and how beautiful I am. I was afraid he'd follow me to my car, and once I got in, I immediately locked the door, and I almost fumbled the keys trying to start it because I was shaken up and afraid he'd approach my car before I had a chance to escape. He had walked to the back of one of the stores the parking lot is for, and I was watching him like a hawk while I backed out and ran for it.
Rape culture is real. Patriarchy is real. I should not feel that unsafe walking one block to my car at night. I should not regret choosing to cut through the alley and decide that from now on I will go the long way where there are more streetlights. I should not feel like I need someone to escort me to my car from now on. I should be able to go out on a Friday night and get back to my vehicle without having to humor random men.
Please, guys, don't engage in street harassment. Leave women ALONE. We are just trying to live our lives without being told to smile or asked our names. Commenting on our bodies is not a compliment. If we want to talk to you, we are perfectly capable of striking up a conversation on our own. We should not have to improvise weapons out of our keys and umbrellas to feel some measure of safety. Rape and violence prevention does not start with us, it starts with YOU. Even if you personally would not rape or harm a woman, doesn't mean you don't know someone who would. Don't participate in the jokes. Don't participate in the street harassment- no cat calling, no asking girls for their name, no telling them to "smile." Call your friends out when they do. You're the ones with the power to change things, and it is your responsibility as decent human beings to do so.