Eyes open.
Title: Eyes open
Pairing: Banghim
Genre: fluff, cheesy.
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Himchan-centric. Himchan observes a lot. He also thinks a lot, maybe too much. He loves everyone a lot. He also loves Yongguk a lot, maybe too much.
A/N: I wanted to write another Banghim one-shot before I leave for Seoul tomorrow, and here it is. I've been working on it for days and if I do like the beginning, I don't know what happened at the end. Anyway, enjoy and thanks for reading!
Eyes open
Rather than the lips or the collarbones, or even the voice, Himchan would choose Yongguk's eyes as his favorite feature. May it be the way his eyes would light up when he was laughing or the way his gaze was strong when they were on stage, Himchan loved them all. He also loved how he was focused when he was watching yet another one of his war movies, or how he would tenderly look at the members when they were busy playing around.
But what Himchan loved the most, more than everything, was when their eyes were meeting. They were understanding each other just by one look, words were useless between the two of them, making Himchan feel that little bit more special than anyone else.
In fact, Himchan just loved Yongguk, as simply as that. He was aware of his feelings towards the leader, and he wasn’t denying them or hiding them deep in his heart, but he didn’t tell anyone else about them either or was showing them openly. He just hoped that, one day, Yongguk will look at him the same way Himchan was looking at him. He hoped, even though he was okay with how the things were at the moment: sometimes best friends, sometimes the proud parents of four kids, sometimes team-mates. But most of times, they were all of that at the same moment.
Of course, there were days where he wanted them to be more. When it was happening, he was taking a deep breathe and looking around in the dorm: how Youngjae was often sitting on a chair, playing on his Ipad, with Daehyun quietly eating by his side, how Jongup would be dancing happily around the dorm or just smiling to no one, how Zelo was either studying or rapping, sometimes having fun annoying his fellow members. Concerning Yongguk, when he wasn’t writing lyrics or watching war movies, he was just taking care of his members on his own way. And that, Himchan thought that he couldn’t risk it. What kind of "mother" would he be? Were his feelings for the elder worth the risk? Himchan didn't think so, that's why when he'd reach for Yongguk's hand, it would be as a best friend, when he'd massage his shoulders after a long day, it would be as a caring team-mate and when he would wake him up in the morning because they were the two last in the bedroom, it would be almost like a mother (or a wife, but that, Yongguk didn't need to know).
Honestly, the only moment where Himchan didn't pay attention of his feelings was when he was meeting with Yongguk. In his dreams. There, no one would judge him, and he wasn't afraid to hurt someone or to lose Yongguk.
-
Today has been relatively a good day for Himchan: he woke up in a good mood - curled against Yongguk - and the kids were all listening well. Their song was doing well on the charts, and at the end of the performance, they were all laughing in the waiting room, still high from the cheers of the fans. Jongup was holding Zelo on his back, the youngest grinning widely as he was swaying his legs back and forth while Youngjae was trying to tickle the dancer, Daehyun behind him trying to earn his attention.
Himchan chuckled at the sight, and shook his head until he felt an arm being wrapped around his waist. Turning his head rather abruptly - because he knew who it was yet he wasn't expecting it - he met with two dark orbs and a wide, wide smile.
"Kim Himchan, you did very well today. But next time, I'll won and you'll be on my back." Yongguk laughed and squeezed the visual's waist, being nudged in the ribs by the latter.
"I've never lost until now though, Bang Yongguk." Himchan chuckled, feeling his heart beating faster and faster and then going into a sprint just because they were looking into each other's eyes and it was just so precious. "Everyone seem pretty excited though, did I miss something?"
Yongguk smiled just a bit wider and brought his face just a bit closer, and Himchan could have sworn he was as red as tomato when Yongguk's lips were that close from his own lips.
"Idiot, have you forgotten that we have a schedule with Secret's sunbaenim and Younha sunbae?" Oh. Right. Somehow, Himchan forgot about it, or just ignored it. Not that he had anything against them, not at all in fact, he was really fond of his sunbaes, but that would mean he would have to work twice harder to earn Yongguk's attention. Yes, he was selfish, but it would be a little victory - Ah, victory! - if, among all these women, Yongguk could look at him, just once, just one second.
"Yah, how could I even forget that?" Himchan pulled away, mostly because his heart wouldn't take it any more if Yongguk kept blinding him with that smile, and he turned to the younger members, pointing a slightly shaking fingers to them. "Stop playing around and get ready for the radio show."
Himchan just wished his voice hadn't shaken that much. (but well, it made Yongguk laugh so...)
A few hours later, here they were in the studio and Himchan was having fun, really. He wasn't thinking much about how there were too much people between him and Yongguk and how the leader was sitting next to Younha. (What jealousy? No, he wasn't jealous. He would just kill the next person who would talk about that confession Yongguk made to the singer on that stupid TV show. Ugh, just, ugh.)
In fact, Himchan just did like every single days: he kept his true feelings locked and hidden in a black box, in a place called heart. And only when the lights were turned off and that the man next to him was deeply asleep, often confirmed by the light snore, then at this moment, Himchan would open the black box just a little, and with his fingertips he would trace the shape of Yongguk's face, and the look in his eyes or the smile on his lips would be the ones he was trying to fight back on the daylight.
Everything was so much easier at night, yet much more dangerous.
After the radio show and after having dinner with Secret sunbaenims, where Himchan was sitting way too far from Yongguk to his dismay, they were on their way back to the dorm. Everyone was deeply asleep, Daehyun and Youngjae curled up together and Jongup leaning against the window in the back, Zelo had his head on Yongguk's shoulder while the leader had his neck surrounded by this fluffy pillow that embraced it perfectly. Himchan...Himchan wasn't sleeping. He just loved to watch the members sleeping, not that he was a creep or anything, but during those moments, he would remember that most of them are still children at heart and his motherly feelings would simply come out. And, at night, everything is revealed.
That's how he noticed that Youngjae and Daehyun kept growing closer. Something was up with them, and Himchan smiled at the thought. It was unexpected, yet he would be the first to support them he thought, as he noticed their entwined hands. And maybe, later he would have enough confidence in himself to confess to Yongguk. Maybe.
Since Zelo has been introduced to the group, Himchan has always felt a little jealousy burn inside of him towards the younger. He loved him, he really did, but sometimes, the special connection he had with Yongguk - and the whole he-is-a-robot-Yongguk-created thing- was just annoying him, and frightening him. He knew it was stupid, but wasn't he the one supposed to have a special connection with Yongguk? After all, they were best friends and they were the first members of B.A.P and- Himchan sighed. He was being an idiot, really. Because, he looked at Zelo and stroked his baby blue hair, who could resist such a tall baby after all? He would understand if Yongguk somehow fell for him. He would accept it, because that's what best friends do.
As he traced the raindrops on the window of the car with his fingertips, the silence only disrupted by a light humming from the manager and the sound of the rain hitting the car, Himchan thought about Jongup. He was his favorite, and it was not really a secret. He just had that deep brotherly love towards the young dancer. Himchan knew that when he was feeling sad, he just had to go to Jongup and the smile the younger would give him could instantly brighten his day. (But not as much as Yongguk's, obviously.) Jongup was always smiling, always, always, and every time, Himchan was smiling back thinking that he was grateful for those smiles. It was giving him strength to go on, to keep trying, to do his best in anything. Because in any situations, Jongup would be here, smiling. And when Himchan's feelings were too much, he would stay close to the dancer, who didn't ask any questions and just smiled to comfort the visual.
And then, there was Yongguk. Himchan looked at him and chuckled quietly. He had this habit of sleeping with his mouth open in the car, it was cute. Yongguk, Himchan liked how his name sounded in his mind, so tender and affectionate and lovely, Yongguk was like a tsunami. He arrived in Himchan's life without warning, breaking everything, powerful and strong and upsetting Himchan's world, Himchan's heart, Himchan's everything. And then, he was all Himchan's could think about, his little world being never the same. Not that he really minded, but he was wondering, turning back to the window, he was wondering how this even happened. He couldn't remember a precise day where he had looked at Yongguk and suddenly found himself in love with the leader. Maybe it has always been the case, since day one. He didn't know. Maybe it happened a month ago, or when they were rehearsing for their debut, or when Yongguk and him were dreaming about how their lives would be in a few years. Himchan had no idea how the whole thing had happened, but it was here, and there was no use denying it. The visual drifted off to sleep, with pictures of Yongguk smiling in his mind and the rain singing a lullaby to him.
-
It was one of these few nights where Himchan couldn't sleep. His brain - or was it his heart - wouldn't shut the fuck down, and he kept turning around in his bed, surrounded by his already deeply sleeping members and an useless Brownie. He checked his phone under his blanket, the light blinding him for a few seconds. 3:48am. Great. He was glad they had a day off but what was the use of having an insomnia and sleeping during the day when he could do so much things instead? It's not like he had to clean the dorm, wash the clothes, go to buy groceries and cook the dinner.
After glancing at Yongguk, and only seeing a part of his head that was not under the blanket, Himchan walked out off the room. Might as well do something instead of laying on his bed, he thought, going straight to the kitchen and preparing himself a tea. It was still raining. It's been days since the city was covered by heavy gray clouds, drowned under the raindrops.
Sitting down against the window, he looked at the city, his fingers wrapped around the mug. He didn't know why, but it was becoming harder for him to pretend, these days. Maybe it was the gloomy weather. Or maybe he was just done. Maybe he just wanted things to be clear for once and honest with himself and with Yongguk. Maybe...Maybe it was everything and nothing. Himchan was just more tired than usual, mostly tired of his feelings, of having to contain them. He was also tired of fighting against Yongguk's smile, laugh, eyes, face, body, perfection. He leaned his forehead against the cold window and closed his eyes, sighing. For once, the commander was at loss, he thought, chuckling to himself.
"What's so funny?" To say that Himchan was surprised was an understatement: he literally jumped out of surprise, his tea spilled on the floor. The visual stood up and glared at the wasted drink and then at the leader, who was leaning against the wall, the ghost of a smirk on his lips.
"You idiot. It's all your fault!" Himchan pointed a finger to Yongguk who only chuckled and walked to him, a finger on his full, plump lips.
"Shh, we wouldn't want the kids to be awake, right?" He tilted his head, grinning, and Himchan could have sworn his heart was trying to get out of his chest. So, even if it was hard, Himchan rolled his eyes and ignored Yongguk. He ignored him because he didn't know what he would be able to do in his state, exhausted physically and mentally. He ignored him because right at this moment, close to four in the morning, Himchan wanted to tell Yongguk everything and kiss him senseless. What he will not do, for obvious reasons.
So Himchan walked away, and went to the kitchen, because he didn't know what else to do , and of course Yongguk followed him without any difficulties. He wrapped his arms around Himchan's waist and rested his chin on his shoulder. This was a first. Of course they often touched each other, a punch or a kick here, brushing hands, stroking hair, hugging did happen a few times too. (And Himchan recalled every single one of them.) But this. A freaking back-hug never happened before and Himchan wasn't even able to think about going away, the surprise being too big.
"Why aren't you sleeping, Channie?" Himchan was tired. Really, he was thinking that it was time to go to sleep, because Yongguk's voice was low and hoarse in his ear, and sexy and that was a no-no.
He took a deep breathe and tried to act as if all of these wasn't mattering to him. "Why aren't you sleeping, Yongguk?"
Yongguk chuckled. He fucking chuckled and Himchan got a shiver running down in his spine. That was not good. "Hey, I asked the question first... But you should know I can't sleep when you're not beside me."
. . . What the hell? Himchan turned abruptly in Yongguk's embrace, who even tightened his hold, and glared at him. "Stop joking around..." Really, Himchan tried to be threatening, and tried to be angry but it came out in a whisper and he wasn't really sure that was very effective. He sighed and dropped his gaze on the floor, but somehow, Yongguk's fingers made their way under his chin, lifting his face up.
"What's wrong with you? You're acting weird these days. Is everything okay, Himchan?" He was really trying to find an answer. Himchan was sincerely trying, but he found himself staring into Yongguk's eyes and he couldn't even look away and the visual thought that it was probably the most perfect place to be at this moment in the whole world.
And Himchan found it. The answer to all his questions. It was that glint in Yongguk's eyes, it was that particular way Yongguk was looking at him. Himchan knew what it was because it was the same glint, the same flame, the same love he had for Yongguk.
Himchan didn't really know how many minutes had passed, but at one moment Yongguk leaned in and so did he, and their lips met halfway in a shy, shy kiss.
-
Later that day, as he was curled against Yongguk's sleeping form and his fingers were drumming a soft, slow melody on his forearm, Himchan couldn't help but feel stupid. He wasn't understanding how he, who was constantly looking at Yongguk since ever, missed the way Yongguk was looking at him. He was probably too focused on his own feelings and struggles- but he didn't really care for the moment, because he was feeling asleep in Yongguk's arms, and it couldn't have been more perfect.
Pairing: Banghim
Genre: fluff, cheesy.
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Himchan-centric. Himchan observes a lot. He also thinks a lot, maybe too much. He loves everyone a lot. He also loves Yongguk a lot, maybe too much.
A/N: I wanted to write another Banghim one-shot before I leave for Seoul tomorrow, and here it is. I've been working on it for days and if I do like the beginning, I don't know what happened at the end. Anyway, enjoy and thanks for reading!
Eyes open
Rather than the lips or the collarbones, or even the voice, Himchan would choose Yongguk's eyes as his favorite feature. May it be the way his eyes would light up when he was laughing or the way his gaze was strong when they were on stage, Himchan loved them all. He also loved how he was focused when he was watching yet another one of his war movies, or how he would tenderly look at the members when they were busy playing around.
But what Himchan loved the most, more than everything, was when their eyes were meeting. They were understanding each other just by one look, words were useless between the two of them, making Himchan feel that little bit more special than anyone else.
In fact, Himchan just loved Yongguk, as simply as that. He was aware of his feelings towards the leader, and he wasn’t denying them or hiding them deep in his heart, but he didn’t tell anyone else about them either or was showing them openly. He just hoped that, one day, Yongguk will look at him the same way Himchan was looking at him. He hoped, even though he was okay with how the things were at the moment: sometimes best friends, sometimes the proud parents of four kids, sometimes team-mates. But most of times, they were all of that at the same moment.
Of course, there were days where he wanted them to be more. When it was happening, he was taking a deep breathe and looking around in the dorm: how Youngjae was often sitting on a chair, playing on his Ipad, with Daehyun quietly eating by his side, how Jongup would be dancing happily around the dorm or just smiling to no one, how Zelo was either studying or rapping, sometimes having fun annoying his fellow members. Concerning Yongguk, when he wasn’t writing lyrics or watching war movies, he was just taking care of his members on his own way. And that, Himchan thought that he couldn’t risk it. What kind of "mother" would he be? Were his feelings for the elder worth the risk? Himchan didn't think so, that's why when he'd reach for Yongguk's hand, it would be as a best friend, when he'd massage his shoulders after a long day, it would be as a caring team-mate and when he would wake him up in the morning because they were the two last in the bedroom, it would be almost like a mother (or a wife, but that, Yongguk didn't need to know).
Honestly, the only moment where Himchan didn't pay attention of his feelings was when he was meeting with Yongguk. In his dreams. There, no one would judge him, and he wasn't afraid to hurt someone or to lose Yongguk.
-
Today has been relatively a good day for Himchan: he woke up in a good mood - curled against Yongguk - and the kids were all listening well. Their song was doing well on the charts, and at the end of the performance, they were all laughing in the waiting room, still high from the cheers of the fans. Jongup was holding Zelo on his back, the youngest grinning widely as he was swaying his legs back and forth while Youngjae was trying to tickle the dancer, Daehyun behind him trying to earn his attention.
Himchan chuckled at the sight, and shook his head until he felt an arm being wrapped around his waist. Turning his head rather abruptly - because he knew who it was yet he wasn't expecting it - he met with two dark orbs and a wide, wide smile.
"Kim Himchan, you did very well today. But next time, I'll won and you'll be on my back." Yongguk laughed and squeezed the visual's waist, being nudged in the ribs by the latter.
"I've never lost until now though, Bang Yongguk." Himchan chuckled, feeling his heart beating faster and faster and then going into a sprint just because they were looking into each other's eyes and it was just so precious. "Everyone seem pretty excited though, did I miss something?"
Yongguk smiled just a bit wider and brought his face just a bit closer, and Himchan could have sworn he was as red as tomato when Yongguk's lips were that close from his own lips.
"Idiot, have you forgotten that we have a schedule with Secret's sunbaenim and Younha sunbae?" Oh. Right. Somehow, Himchan forgot about it, or just ignored it. Not that he had anything against them, not at all in fact, he was really fond of his sunbaes, but that would mean he would have to work twice harder to earn Yongguk's attention. Yes, he was selfish, but it would be a little victory - Ah, victory! - if, among all these women, Yongguk could look at him, just once, just one second.
"Yah, how could I even forget that?" Himchan pulled away, mostly because his heart wouldn't take it any more if Yongguk kept blinding him with that smile, and he turned to the younger members, pointing a slightly shaking fingers to them. "Stop playing around and get ready for the radio show."
Himchan just wished his voice hadn't shaken that much. (but well, it made Yongguk laugh so...)
A few hours later, here they were in the studio and Himchan was having fun, really. He wasn't thinking much about how there were too much people between him and Yongguk and how the leader was sitting next to Younha. (What jealousy? No, he wasn't jealous. He would just kill the next person who would talk about that confession Yongguk made to the singer on that stupid TV show. Ugh, just, ugh.)
In fact, Himchan just did like every single days: he kept his true feelings locked and hidden in a black box, in a place called heart. And only when the lights were turned off and that the man next to him was deeply asleep, often confirmed by the light snore, then at this moment, Himchan would open the black box just a little, and with his fingertips he would trace the shape of Yongguk's face, and the look in his eyes or the smile on his lips would be the ones he was trying to fight back on the daylight.
Everything was so much easier at night, yet much more dangerous.
After the radio show and after having dinner with Secret sunbaenims, where Himchan was sitting way too far from Yongguk to his dismay, they were on their way back to the dorm. Everyone was deeply asleep, Daehyun and Youngjae curled up together and Jongup leaning against the window in the back, Zelo had his head on Yongguk's shoulder while the leader had his neck surrounded by this fluffy pillow that embraced it perfectly. Himchan...Himchan wasn't sleeping. He just loved to watch the members sleeping, not that he was a creep or anything, but during those moments, he would remember that most of them are still children at heart and his motherly feelings would simply come out. And, at night, everything is revealed.
That's how he noticed that Youngjae and Daehyun kept growing closer. Something was up with them, and Himchan smiled at the thought. It was unexpected, yet he would be the first to support them he thought, as he noticed their entwined hands. And maybe, later he would have enough confidence in himself to confess to Yongguk. Maybe.
Since Zelo has been introduced to the group, Himchan has always felt a little jealousy burn inside of him towards the younger. He loved him, he really did, but sometimes, the special connection he had with Yongguk - and the whole he-is-a-robot-Yongguk-created thing- was just annoying him, and frightening him. He knew it was stupid, but wasn't he the one supposed to have a special connection with Yongguk? After all, they were best friends and they were the first members of B.A.P and- Himchan sighed. He was being an idiot, really. Because, he looked at Zelo and stroked his baby blue hair, who could resist such a tall baby after all? He would understand if Yongguk somehow fell for him. He would accept it, because that's what best friends do.
As he traced the raindrops on the window of the car with his fingertips, the silence only disrupted by a light humming from the manager and the sound of the rain hitting the car, Himchan thought about Jongup. He was his favorite, and it was not really a secret. He just had that deep brotherly love towards the young dancer. Himchan knew that when he was feeling sad, he just had to go to Jongup and the smile the younger would give him could instantly brighten his day. (But not as much as Yongguk's, obviously.) Jongup was always smiling, always, always, and every time, Himchan was smiling back thinking that he was grateful for those smiles. It was giving him strength to go on, to keep trying, to do his best in anything. Because in any situations, Jongup would be here, smiling. And when Himchan's feelings were too much, he would stay close to the dancer, who didn't ask any questions and just smiled to comfort the visual.
And then, there was Yongguk. Himchan looked at him and chuckled quietly. He had this habit of sleeping with his mouth open in the car, it was cute. Yongguk, Himchan liked how his name sounded in his mind, so tender and affectionate and lovely, Yongguk was like a tsunami. He arrived in Himchan's life without warning, breaking everything, powerful and strong and upsetting Himchan's world, Himchan's heart, Himchan's everything. And then, he was all Himchan's could think about, his little world being never the same. Not that he really minded, but he was wondering, turning back to the window, he was wondering how this even happened. He couldn't remember a precise day where he had looked at Yongguk and suddenly found himself in love with the leader. Maybe it has always been the case, since day one. He didn't know. Maybe it happened a month ago, or when they were rehearsing for their debut, or when Yongguk and him were dreaming about how their lives would be in a few years. Himchan had no idea how the whole thing had happened, but it was here, and there was no use denying it. The visual drifted off to sleep, with pictures of Yongguk smiling in his mind and the rain singing a lullaby to him.
-
It was one of these few nights where Himchan couldn't sleep. His brain - or was it his heart - wouldn't shut the fuck down, and he kept turning around in his bed, surrounded by his already deeply sleeping members and an useless Brownie. He checked his phone under his blanket, the light blinding him for a few seconds. 3:48am. Great. He was glad they had a day off but what was the use of having an insomnia and sleeping during the day when he could do so much things instead? It's not like he had to clean the dorm, wash the clothes, go to buy groceries and cook the dinner.
After glancing at Yongguk, and only seeing a part of his head that was not under the blanket, Himchan walked out off the room. Might as well do something instead of laying on his bed, he thought, going straight to the kitchen and preparing himself a tea. It was still raining. It's been days since the city was covered by heavy gray clouds, drowned under the raindrops.
Sitting down against the window, he looked at the city, his fingers wrapped around the mug. He didn't know why, but it was becoming harder for him to pretend, these days. Maybe it was the gloomy weather. Or maybe he was just done. Maybe he just wanted things to be clear for once and honest with himself and with Yongguk. Maybe...Maybe it was everything and nothing. Himchan was just more tired than usual, mostly tired of his feelings, of having to contain them. He was also tired of fighting against Yongguk's smile, laugh, eyes, face, body, perfection. He leaned his forehead against the cold window and closed his eyes, sighing. For once, the commander was at loss, he thought, chuckling to himself.
"What's so funny?" To say that Himchan was surprised was an understatement: he literally jumped out of surprise, his tea spilled on the floor. The visual stood up and glared at the wasted drink and then at the leader, who was leaning against the wall, the ghost of a smirk on his lips.
"You idiot. It's all your fault!" Himchan pointed a finger to Yongguk who only chuckled and walked to him, a finger on his full, plump lips.
"Shh, we wouldn't want the kids to be awake, right?" He tilted his head, grinning, and Himchan could have sworn his heart was trying to get out of his chest. So, even if it was hard, Himchan rolled his eyes and ignored Yongguk. He ignored him because he didn't know what he would be able to do in his state, exhausted physically and mentally. He ignored him because right at this moment, close to four in the morning, Himchan wanted to tell Yongguk everything and kiss him senseless. What he will not do, for obvious reasons.
So Himchan walked away, and went to the kitchen, because he didn't know what else to do , and of course Yongguk followed him without any difficulties. He wrapped his arms around Himchan's waist and rested his chin on his shoulder. This was a first. Of course they often touched each other, a punch or a kick here, brushing hands, stroking hair, hugging did happen a few times too. (And Himchan recalled every single one of them.) But this. A freaking back-hug never happened before and Himchan wasn't even able to think about going away, the surprise being too big.
"Why aren't you sleeping, Channie?" Himchan was tired. Really, he was thinking that it was time to go to sleep, because Yongguk's voice was low and hoarse in his ear, and sexy and that was a no-no.
He took a deep breathe and tried to act as if all of these wasn't mattering to him. "Why aren't you sleeping, Yongguk?"
Yongguk chuckled. He fucking chuckled and Himchan got a shiver running down in his spine. That was not good. "Hey, I asked the question first... But you should know I can't sleep when you're not beside me."
. . . What the hell? Himchan turned abruptly in Yongguk's embrace, who even tightened his hold, and glared at him. "Stop joking around..." Really, Himchan tried to be threatening, and tried to be angry but it came out in a whisper and he wasn't really sure that was very effective. He sighed and dropped his gaze on the floor, but somehow, Yongguk's fingers made their way under his chin, lifting his face up.
"What's wrong with you? You're acting weird these days. Is everything okay, Himchan?" He was really trying to find an answer. Himchan was sincerely trying, but he found himself staring into Yongguk's eyes and he couldn't even look away and the visual thought that it was probably the most perfect place to be at this moment in the whole world.
And Himchan found it. The answer to all his questions. It was that glint in Yongguk's eyes, it was that particular way Yongguk was looking at him. Himchan knew what it was because it was the same glint, the same flame, the same love he had for Yongguk.
Himchan didn't really know how many minutes had passed, but at one moment Yongguk leaned in and so did he, and their lips met halfway in a shy, shy kiss.
-
Later that day, as he was curled against Yongguk's sleeping form and his fingers were drumming a soft, slow melody on his forearm, Himchan couldn't help but feel stupid. He wasn't understanding how he, who was constantly looking at Yongguk since ever, missed the way Yongguk was looking at him. He was probably too focused on his own feelings and struggles- but he didn't really care for the moment, because he was feeling asleep in Yongguk's arms, and it couldn't have been more perfect.