more stories from the vault
ok, so i thought about it, and ill introduce this chump i work with named nick to the stories. emily, you might know this nick fellow, he went to trinity and was a fat greasy dirty kid, nick brulot, or brule or something along the lines.....
first a brief introduction; nick is a 22 year old fat greasy kid, who got a job as of last week. apparantly this very chubby ( think lead singer or bassist of Most Precious Blood chubby, i dont know why i picked them, it was the first thing that popped into my head) anywats, apparantly he bikes everyday to work and its from glen cairn to carp rd. which is like almost an hour bike ride,PLUS he smokes. so hes not going to last long.
anyways, so nick comes to work today, and hes all got this stupid smile on his face, and hes all twitching and whatnot, and so finally he bursts out, I QUIT SMOKING. grrrreat, working with someone trying to break a nicotine habit, while working a labor intensive job. anyhow, later on, dave, my boss, asks nick how he started smoking. he then tells us how his mom was in the HOSPITAL, and he started smoking while visiting her or something. Since i dont understand HOW you could start smoking while hanging out at a hospital i blurt out "WHAT YOU MET A CANCER PATIENT, AND SAID, HEY I WANNA BE LIKE YOU??" and he sits there and just laughs while me and dave make fun of him.
Adam and Nick have been dubbed by everyone at work DUMB AND DUMBER.
Another Adam Story: Adam drives a Chevy(?) Beretta, and its an ok car at best. ( Who am i to complain, i dont drive at all) ANyways, he says that hes on his parents insurance, and because he is in love with his car, he tells me how he has the BEST insurance anyone can have. He has fire, theft, whatever else and get this; ACT OF GOD insurance. Act of God insurance, as he tells me means that if he were to ever hit an animal or be struck by lightning or whatever he would be covered by insurance. Anyhow, all that said he tells me how the other day he was driving to North Gower to drive his girlfriend home, and he sees a wild turkey on the road. So he passes it,and then decides he wants to go HUNTING(?) so he turns around and tries to hit the turkey. He missed it ofcourse, but insists that he got feathers stuck in his bumper/grill and brought it up today, saying he saw another one which he also tried to get.
OH, EMILY, TODAY THE MICHAEL JACKSON GLOVE WAS IN FULL EFFECT. I GUESS HE DOES STILL SPORT THE GLOVES. THEY ARE ACTUALLY BASEBALL GLOVES. GO FIGURE.
Also, today he wore BRIGHT yellow pants, and at lunch he took them off to reveal the nicest Giant Tiger Fire-up-the-legs Shorts that money could buy OVERTOP of long friggin johns. Dave obviously made fun of him and made him put his yellow track pants back on.
OK thats all for today, tomorrow im going to do my best to work around him more often so hopefully more stories will be told. It seems that since anyone he tells these stories to just laughs after, he thinks we believe him, and in turn makes up even bigger lies.
The Best for last:
Adam tells us how a while ago he finds this cell phone on a bench in some park, so he starts phoning all these porno numbers, and sex lines and whatever, and calling hong kong and all this and then busts the phone and throws it away. So he goes to the broken cue the next day and is talking to his friend, and his friend is all mad because he lost his phone the night before. Adam then asks what kind of phone it was, and as it turns out it was his friends phone. So his friend punches him in the face, and now they arent friends anymore.
first a brief introduction; nick is a 22 year old fat greasy kid, who got a job as of last week. apparantly this very chubby ( think lead singer or bassist of Most Precious Blood chubby, i dont know why i picked them, it was the first thing that popped into my head) anywats, apparantly he bikes everyday to work and its from glen cairn to carp rd. which is like almost an hour bike ride,PLUS he smokes. so hes not going to last long.
anyways, so nick comes to work today, and hes all got this stupid smile on his face, and hes all twitching and whatnot, and so finally he bursts out, I QUIT SMOKING. grrrreat, working with someone trying to break a nicotine habit, while working a labor intensive job. anyhow, later on, dave, my boss, asks nick how he started smoking. he then tells us how his mom was in the HOSPITAL, and he started smoking while visiting her or something. Since i dont understand HOW you could start smoking while hanging out at a hospital i blurt out "WHAT YOU MET A CANCER PATIENT, AND SAID, HEY I WANNA BE LIKE YOU??" and he sits there and just laughs while me and dave make fun of him.
Adam and Nick have been dubbed by everyone at work DUMB AND DUMBER.
Another Adam Story: Adam drives a Chevy(?) Beretta, and its an ok car at best. ( Who am i to complain, i dont drive at all) ANyways, he says that hes on his parents insurance, and because he is in love with his car, he tells me how he has the BEST insurance anyone can have. He has fire, theft, whatever else and get this; ACT OF GOD insurance. Act of God insurance, as he tells me means that if he were to ever hit an animal or be struck by lightning or whatever he would be covered by insurance. Anyhow, all that said he tells me how the other day he was driving to North Gower to drive his girlfriend home, and he sees a wild turkey on the road. So he passes it,and then decides he wants to go HUNTING(?) so he turns around and tries to hit the turkey. He missed it ofcourse, but insists that he got feathers stuck in his bumper/grill and brought it up today, saying he saw another one which he also tried to get.
OH, EMILY, TODAY THE MICHAEL JACKSON GLOVE WAS IN FULL EFFECT. I GUESS HE DOES STILL SPORT THE GLOVES. THEY ARE ACTUALLY BASEBALL GLOVES. GO FIGURE.
Also, today he wore BRIGHT yellow pants, and at lunch he took them off to reveal the nicest Giant Tiger Fire-up-the-legs Shorts that money could buy OVERTOP of long friggin johns. Dave obviously made fun of him and made him put his yellow track pants back on.
OK thats all for today, tomorrow im going to do my best to work around him more often so hopefully more stories will be told. It seems that since anyone he tells these stories to just laughs after, he thinks we believe him, and in turn makes up even bigger lies.
The Best for last:
Adam tells us how a while ago he finds this cell phone on a bench in some park, so he starts phoning all these porno numbers, and sex lines and whatever, and calling hong kong and all this and then busts the phone and throws it away. So he goes to the broken cue the next day and is talking to his friend, and his friend is all mad because he lost his phone the night before. Adam then asks what kind of phone it was, and as it turns out it was his friends phone. So his friend punches him in the face, and now they arent friends anymore.