(no subject)
sooo, res life went on a field trip last night to Cleveland Heights to see the author of the rules of civility book. It was pretty good. Accept it's about 2 hour trip and we didn't get back until after 11.... gag. Oh well, the speaker was great, I really enjoyed listening to him. I learned one thing that doesn't surprise me... over 300 BILLION people in this country suffer from stress related health issues. Yay I'm part of that statistic with my tmj... which has been murderous these past few days, it could be stress from starting school for the last time, stress from all the res life stuff, or stress from the thoughts I've been having about my mother lately, or stress from some other related source... who knows.
How long do you think I could go without eating? I barely ate any dinner, and I felt sick this morning so I didn't have breakfast, the smell of lunch made me feel gross, so I didn't eat that either... maybe I'll just waste away to nothingness. Oh well, the cafeteria looks great, but the food, in my opinion, hasn't gotten enormously better. We'll see when more people move onto campus I guess.
So the other day I was angry... from that post about liars and not having the whole story, only now I'm more resigned because after thinking long and hard, I may never find out all the facts dealing with what I was struggling with, which hurts because I've been gathering facts for years, and it's not helpful. Plus when I get upset with my mom, I get a little... weird I guess could work. Is it odd that I talk to her, even though I've never met her? Is it weird that I ask her things that she can't answer? Who knows what I'm supposed to do. How the hell do you start a letter asking your mother to see you or answer questions?? I still haven't figured that out yet. Oh well, maybe we're not meant to meet.
There are pictures somewhere of the trailor park where I'm from, and I used to have them because I snuck them from my file, and mom took them back, but I asked for them back recently, and she doesn't know where they are. I want those. Is that weird too? I know I've accomplished a lot in my life, and I know I'm not "trailor trash" but that's where I come from, and I kind of want those to remind me of how lucky I am in my life.
I'm a HORRIBLE friend... absolutely horrible. Terrible. I can't go to Mar's bridal shower because it's senior recognition day. How awful am I? I feel bad... really bad. Super bad... like I'm a huge let down. I feel like I've been doing that a lot lately. I just hope that she's ok with it.
How do you apologize for hurting someone you love so much you would die for them?
How long do you think I could go without eating? I barely ate any dinner, and I felt sick this morning so I didn't have breakfast, the smell of lunch made me feel gross, so I didn't eat that either... maybe I'll just waste away to nothingness. Oh well, the cafeteria looks great, but the food, in my opinion, hasn't gotten enormously better. We'll see when more people move onto campus I guess.
So the other day I was angry... from that post about liars and not having the whole story, only now I'm more resigned because after thinking long and hard, I may never find out all the facts dealing with what I was struggling with, which hurts because I've been gathering facts for years, and it's not helpful. Plus when I get upset with my mom, I get a little... weird I guess could work. Is it odd that I talk to her, even though I've never met her? Is it weird that I ask her things that she can't answer? Who knows what I'm supposed to do. How the hell do you start a letter asking your mother to see you or answer questions?? I still haven't figured that out yet. Oh well, maybe we're not meant to meet.
There are pictures somewhere of the trailor park where I'm from, and I used to have them because I snuck them from my file, and mom took them back, but I asked for them back recently, and she doesn't know where they are. I want those. Is that weird too? I know I've accomplished a lot in my life, and I know I'm not "trailor trash" but that's where I come from, and I kind of want those to remind me of how lucky I am in my life.
I'm a HORRIBLE friend... absolutely horrible. Terrible. I can't go to Mar's bridal shower because it's senior recognition day. How awful am I? I feel bad... really bad. Super bad... like I'm a huge let down. I feel like I've been doing that a lot lately. I just hope that she's ok with it.
How do you apologize for hurting someone you love so much you would die for them?