It's mind boggling, that's what it is

[pompous_prat]

[Private: Unlockable by Slytherins]

Please. Someone enlighten me because I do believe your Prefect is perhaps a bit slow.

I say this simply because I fail to be able to comprehend why in sweet Circe's name it is a widespread school travesty when Goody-Goody Four-Eyes bonks his bloomin' noggin

Comments

[sagaciously]

This is surreal. You really should stop being right. It's very unnatural. I'm beginning to miss correcting you.

Well said.

[pompous_prat]

Always.

I mean... am I the only one who wants to throw a party over this?

And why is this the talk of the school?

I can understand the Gryffindor's Quidditch team bawling... after all their prize goody-goody is wasting away in the Hospital Wing. Excuse me while I snap my fingers because, darn I guess he can't give us pesky Slytherins the good scoldings that we apparently need (or so they feel I'm sure)...

But… why are the other houses bemoaning the fact??? He isn’t some national pro league Quidditch Player!!

That’s it, Emmy-memmy-line, the world has gone insane. That’s the only explanation for this madness.

Private: Unlockable by Slytherins

[sagaciously]

More like once in a lifetime.

And I'm not quite sure why the others are so upset about it. You would have thought he never had encountered a bludger the way they are acting. I'm sure they really have nothing better to gossip away about.

And what have I told you about the nicknames?

Re: Private: Unlockable by Slytherins

[pompous_prat]

Hah! Twice! Three times! Four times! More times than I can count!

And I assure you there will be many more times to come.

And I have no idea why they're upset about it. I mean he's Head Boy for Merlin's sake, aren't we supposed to hiss at him and launch rotten tomatoes at his head?? He's Bumble-bore's lackey! His minion! His do-gooder! The one who does his will! Doesn't that by law of the school make him the enemy of all the students?

And you are right Emmey-Memmy. I doubt that that was the first time a blunt object has come in contact with his head and I assure you it won't be the last.

They just need lives. And better gossip. Now if he was concussed, speaking the language of the merfolk and turning everyone he touched into quaffles from his bed, well, then maybe that might be a bit more news worthy but as it stands...

No.

And what about nicknames? Ready at last to admit your undying love for them?

[sagaciously]

I can count them. Try once. And I sincerely doubt there is more where that came from.

You would think so, wouldn't you? Alas, it seems that this generation has an undying love for authority. I'm expecting Dumbledore's fangirls to be fawning over him next.

Would that be everyone becoming quaffles and magically moved to his bed? Or would he lie in bed and turn everyone into quaffles from there. I'm putting too much thought into that.

I have undying love for very few things. Your nicknames aren't even on that list.

[pompous_prat]

Try… twice. But let’s not bring up that old bad blood again shall we? I’m in a perfectly good mood and I see no reason why I ought to become cross-it’s almost as bad as being serious.

So it seems… You’d think he were beloved royalty or something with the way they carry on.

… And you are never ever ever ever ever allowed to mention “fangirls” and “Dumbledore” in the same sentence EVER again. That is just wrong on many accounts. More accounts than I can name on both hands and both feet. That’s like saying… No I am not going to glorify that statement by coming up with a more hideous comparison-I don’t think my brain can handle the mental images

[sagaciously]

The first time didn't count. So there.

And I'm only thinking about it because you are being odd in the structure of your grammer. So if we dwell too long upon this subject, well, guess who's to blame?

I loathe them. Loathe. Loathe. Loathe. They are high on my loathing list. Along with many other things that you do. Which technically would cancel everything on the Love list.

Oh, and Alistaire?

Remember the fangirls of Dumbledore.

[pompous_prat]

Didn't count? Hah! It did too count! Because you know I was right-er than right and I don't care that I am making up words! It's the truth! You can't deny it!

Oh that's right, try and blame it all on me. Tell me, are you wearing your bonnet now?

But not everything. Ha! No need to be shy now, especially after we've known each other for all this time!

...

...

...

And you are evil. Beyond evil. I ought to deduct points for that! Give out detentions!

I hope McGonagall ravishes you in your dreams with Dumbeldore because we all know what a secret fascination you must have with him as you do like courting authority...

Still sporting that presidency badge as the founder of Bumblebore’s fan club, Memming-line?

Ugh Merlin you made me say it, you made me say it!!

[sagaciously]

We aren't 12 anymore so stop making up your own vocabulary. I deny anything and everything when it comes to you. You should be used to it by now. How embarassing. Enough with the bonnet.

MCGONAGALL?! Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Evil bastard! Those were some mental images I did NOT need tonight. And secret fascinations with that old man seem to be more of a Gryffindor traits, as they all seem to fall over themselves with him.

And I like to think that the presidency belongs to you in that aspect. I'll just be your secretary and make notes about the minutes of the meeting. I'm sure Potter will be your second in comand, unless you want Evans instead.

[pompous_prat]

Who says I need to be 12 in order to make up my own vocabulary? I am broadening the English language! You all ought to be thanking me!

Ha ha! You reap what you sow, poppet! Take those evil mental images to bed with you! May they haunt your dreams! And Gryffindor traits? I do seem to remember a certain someone who was more than fine with Gryffindor traits... and who was even picking up them.

So it is true! I knew it!

You are falling all over yourself (and the rabid Gryffindors) to reach Dumbledore! Ewwwww!! Yuck! Ugh! Ew! Mental Images! Bad! Bad! My eyes, my eyes!!... or... My mind's eyes, my mind's eyes!!!

And might I remind you... I'm not the one who courted a Gryffindor. I believe the presidency still lies in your hands.

[sagaciously]

What ever happened to not bringing up bad blood?

[pompous_prat]

I believe they say that all is fair in love and war.

Plus you know I'm right! Three times right! Ha ha!