(no subject)
I'm really proud of myself for the patience I've acquired lately. I don't know how long it will hold out until I get overwhelmed with frustration again, but I'm taking it day by day. What helps me is, above everything, remembering to always focus on being a better person in life. Theoretically- I can do no wrong if thats my primary concern. I mean- I'm also coming to grips with living life for ME. I think there is a balance somewhere between those two ideals. I am trying, sometimes conscious, sometimes not, to live with the ying and yang so to speak. So...life is great. I have so many blessings. I am very grateful.
I want to learn to share my love to the best of my ability. Pure and clean with no unintentional complications.
Its been like a month since I've had sexual stimulation of the physical nature and my mind is menmenmenmenmenmenmenmen...
Met Christian, a hot ecuadorian man at Tonic and he whispered spanish to me all night long. We danced till 4 am it was glorious. Then he tried to sleep over and I was like please go home thank you. (Which I wouldn't have been against normally...in that state...but he kind of manipulated me and tried to trick me instead of just coming out with it. Which I found annoying.)
He tried to make amends in the morning but I was honestly a bit turned off by his immature behavior. Plus he said he was 25 and he looked way older. And he was a pisces as well. Which explained or mad sexual connection but meant BAD NEWS.
Met a nice guy, doug. Not extremely "hot" but was nice to talk to and thought we made a connection. I mean...he was cute...red head. but then he fucked up by calling me way too late the next night when i was already out and about because he failed to phone by 10 which was the plan.
Other than that...my mind is a constant stream of fantasies involving james spayder, justin warfield, anthony kiedis, and justin chambers. and others. like one of my teachers yikes.
got a couple cool dj gigs in the works. auditioning like whoa. learning a lot about myself and the world. loving and hating my cat for being adorable but annoying. you know-the usual. getting a new tattoo soon. i think.
so i dunno whatevs. peace.
I want to learn to share my love to the best of my ability. Pure and clean with no unintentional complications.
Its been like a month since I've had sexual stimulation of the physical nature and my mind is menmenmenmenmenmenmenmen...
Met Christian, a hot ecuadorian man at Tonic and he whispered spanish to me all night long. We danced till 4 am it was glorious. Then he tried to sleep over and I was like please go home thank you. (Which I wouldn't have been against normally...in that state...but he kind of manipulated me and tried to trick me instead of just coming out with it. Which I found annoying.)
He tried to make amends in the morning but I was honestly a bit turned off by his immature behavior. Plus he said he was 25 and he looked way older. And he was a pisces as well. Which explained or mad sexual connection but meant BAD NEWS.
Met a nice guy, doug. Not extremely "hot" but was nice to talk to and thought we made a connection. I mean...he was cute...red head. but then he fucked up by calling me way too late the next night when i was already out and about because he failed to phone by 10 which was the plan.
Other than that...my mind is a constant stream of fantasies involving james spayder, justin warfield, anthony kiedis, and justin chambers. and others. like one of my teachers yikes.
got a couple cool dj gigs in the works. auditioning like whoa. learning a lot about myself and the world. loving and hating my cat for being adorable but annoying. you know-the usual. getting a new tattoo soon. i think.
so i dunno whatevs. peace.