It will take a little to recover
At the end of June I received a link to a job from my ex-boss and a question - would I be interested? The job was perfectly tailored for me - constructing and operation a sludge to biogas and biodiesel pilot in Ghana. It not only connected two of the technologies that I am most familiar with, it also was related to development in third world countries. I later discovered that the pay was good to boot.
The negative side of the offer - a commitment of at least 1.5 years (18 months) in a third world country where I knew nobody. And this wasn't within a frame where I would be with people my age (like moving to a university)...They also wanted me to start within a month or two (later it got pushed back to November, but I was only informed of this in August).
My immediate response was to become hysterical. Here was an amazing opportunity founded on a completely terrifying basis. I've moved enough times in my life to dread the feelings of isolation and disconnect that come with every new beginning. I consulted with everybody and thought about it from every angle - career, mental health, adventure, etc.
Ultimately I sent an email requesting to start at the end of November and take leave every few months to see my partner and family. It seemed fair enough at the time when I wrote it...looking back I wonder if I should have just accepted.
It was a gamble, and it failed. The response I recieved stated that I was very well qualified however they needed somebody with whome the timing and location fit better.
Oh well.
I'm trying to not be unhappy about my/their decision. I don't want to look at myself as a weakling, I don't want to blame Assaf or my mom for miring me down in Israel. I want to look at my past achievements and take heart. I want to write down the lessons I've learned from this experience and utilize them for the next time. Finally, I want to look at my future and see that I still have plenty of time to make an impact in the field I love.
The other thing that's important to remember is that my life is not horrible right now. One of the reasons I hesitated to move was that things are okay where I'm at. I have family, friends, a supportive boyfriend, a job. My job doesn't pay as much as I want it to but I'm not lacking anything.
Effective immediately I want to start looking for an engineering job that excites me because this consulting gig is not exactly what I want. There'll be new opportunities and I need to go find them!
The negative side of the offer - a commitment of at least 1.5 years (18 months) in a third world country where I knew nobody. And this wasn't within a frame where I would be with people my age (like moving to a university)...They also wanted me to start within a month or two (later it got pushed back to November, but I was only informed of this in August).
My immediate response was to become hysterical. Here was an amazing opportunity founded on a completely terrifying basis. I've moved enough times in my life to dread the feelings of isolation and disconnect that come with every new beginning. I consulted with everybody and thought about it from every angle - career, mental health, adventure, etc.
Ultimately I sent an email requesting to start at the end of November and take leave every few months to see my partner and family. It seemed fair enough at the time when I wrote it...looking back I wonder if I should have just accepted.
It was a gamble, and it failed. The response I recieved stated that I was very well qualified however they needed somebody with whome the timing and location fit better.
Oh well.
I'm trying to not be unhappy about my/their decision. I don't want to look at myself as a weakling, I don't want to blame Assaf or my mom for miring me down in Israel. I want to look at my past achievements and take heart. I want to write down the lessons I've learned from this experience and utilize them for the next time. Finally, I want to look at my future and see that I still have plenty of time to make an impact in the field I love.
The other thing that's important to remember is that my life is not horrible right now. One of the reasons I hesitated to move was that things are okay where I'm at. I have family, friends, a supportive boyfriend, a job. My job doesn't pay as much as I want it to but I'm not lacking anything.
Effective immediately I want to start looking for an engineering job that excites me because this consulting gig is not exactly what I want. There'll be new opportunities and I need to go find them!