Bright Lights - Prologue

[polychrome_love]

Title - Bright Lights
Rating - PG for now.
Chapter - Prologue/? Multichapter
Genre - Romance, Drama, AU, School Life,
Warnings - Fanboying, dancing, dreaming. Not beta'd
Bands - The GazettE, Dir En Grey, Alice Nine, OC's and more..
Pairings - Reita/?, more to be revealed.
Summary - What does it take to reach the bright and shining stars? The answer

Comments

[ravennightmare6]

Hello there, sweetie~ ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ

Well done on posting and welcome to the all-consuming world of fan fiction >:D First off, I want to tell you how interesting this is so far. It was a good first chapter, I always find that the first one is often one of the most important chapters of a story (if not, the most important) because it has to really grab people's attention and you've definitely succeeded in that. I'm intrigued; you've given enough information away to get me interested but held back enough to make me want to read more.

You're writing is quite good, no major grammatical or spelling errors and description was nice, and the chapter was a decent length. I know how hard to can be to beef out chapters when you first start writing. I think everyone's first chapters are somewhat shorter than other chapters that they produce as they write more. Things could've been a tad more descriptive. For example, I got a little confused about who was actually saying what sometimes; just because there was four people in the room and sometimes there wasn't much indication of who was talking. That's just a little bit of constructive criticism that I'm positive will make the flow of the story better. But I know for a fact that the more you write the easier all that stuff will become :)

I'm REALLY interested to see who the love interest is going to be; I really like that you didn't just blurt it out in the first chapter because that little element of mystery will make me and other readers want to read and know more. Just a little suggestion, (if you weren't planning on doing this already :P) just hold off on telling readers exactly who the love interest actually is for maybe another chapter or two. Drop some subtle hints and build the tension/suspense and then you'll have yourself a killer revelation~ (~￣▽￣)~ Just a suggestion though, you don't have to follow it of you've already got a plan~

Well, I hope I've been of some help and my comment wasn't too blabbery. I tend to get carried away sometimes >.< Thank you for sharing your creation and I can't wait to read more and see how the story develops.

Good luck in your writing, darling (✿◠‿◠)

[polychrome_love]

Wahhh Thank you so much! I didn't think that people would actually notice my fic. Hehe. I read it over, and you we're right about the confusing conversation. I caught it too, the lack in details, I'll work on that. About the length, the chapters will definitely get longer after this one, but I'm scared that I might add some unnecessary words and sentences that it might make it seem uninteresting and laggy so I worry about that too.
I'm very happy that you found this prologue intriguing, and yes I'm also trying to follow your idea of being mysterious for a while. Haha. I just hope my writing will only improve, and not to disappoint people who look forward to this story ._.
The love interest... I guess we'll just have to wait a little longer. ahaha.
Thank you so much for the compliments and suggestions! I'm especially happy that it came from someone that writes awesome fics I also love! I'm your reader under a separate journal^^ Please feel give me more suggestions and advice in the future. I appreciate them very much :)

[ravennightmare6]

You're very welcome, deary <3 I'm really glad I was able to be of some use, I'm always happy to share tips about writing (even though my own definitely isn't perfect >.<). Never fear, chapter length just comes with time. Either way, it's quality over quantity, really. So don't worry about length too much ^__^ When it comes to description kind of stuff I find that the best way to beef out chapters is to explore the way a character is feeling in a certain moment. Express their thoughts and emotions. I find that this gives chapters a good amount of detail without straying from the focus :0

Never fear, sweetie. Writing always improves over time so there's absolutely no need to worry about disappointing anyone ^__^

Ah, I'm glad you read my fics. Haha :3 I didn't expect you to know who I was >.< But I'm glad I was able to offer some advice and hopefully help you out with yout writing. I can't wait to read more from you ^__^ <3