Eisner Academy Archive #5 - Cafeteria Layout & Cliques
Cafeteria Layout & Cliques
It is in the Eisner Academy's State of the Art Cafeteria that many of the school's unofficial social groups or cliques become obvious. The
Cafeteria itself is laid out thus (See attached diagram).
1. Food Preparation Area.
This area is designed to prepare high quality, healthy and appetising food students with a variety of what can often be outre needs. Besides
standard Low-Fat, Low-Carb, Gluten-Free and Vegetarian/Vegan options, the Cafeteria prepares food for staff and students whose requirements
include such ingredients as Heavy Metals, Nectar of the Gods, Molten Magma, Hard Radiation, Nutrient-enriched Fertilizer, and the Life
Essence of Sentient Beings. Despite all of this however, the Meatloaf is still terrible.
2. Staff Table.
While there is a general suggestion that staff should maintain a level of visibility and accessibility to the students, many staff members still
prefer to eat in offices or private staff rooms. Staff members are rostered onto Cafeteria Supervision Duty, so there are always staff members
present at all meals.
3. Villains Table.
This table is used by students who self-identify as villains, villainous legacy characters, or those in one or another of the various villain-centric
acceleration programs. While there is a certain camaraderie here, it is marred by secretiveness and paranoia. There is an ongoing 'arms race'
of sorts involving the concoction of various virulent poisons and antidotes for same. As a side effect of this, most Eisner students in this clique
will have built up something of a resistance to most commonly used toxins by the time of graduation.
At this point, toxicology research and research into targeted antidotes has reached something of a stalemate, awaiting only the next
breakthrough one way or another.
Due to the events of 'The Spore Plague of 2009', the use of paid Food-Tasters has been strictly prohibited within the Cafeteria.
4. Oldies Table.
This table is reserved for mature-age students, visiting veteran heroes and villains, and external students who are looking to brush-up on the
latest techniques, or gain official qualifications. The most prominent regular students at this table are Cpl.Harriet Hellgate and
Prof.Digby Dumfries who, along with Jeremiah 'Jets' Jefferson and Captain Lance Masters, vanished into a space warp near Mars in the
late 1950's. Having missed over half a century of social, cultural and technological change, they are both suffering from extreme culture shock
and the Academy is attempting to slowly acclimatise them both into early 21st Century society.
This table also serves as a "buffer zone" of sorts between the Heroes and Villains tables, and has done a great deal to prevent what was
previously the daily outbreak of hostilities.
5. Anti-Heroes Table.
The students at this table are those whose inclinations are essentially altruistic but who are, due to the nature of their powers, in danger
of succumbing to bitterness or other anti-social behaviours. This group includes Slate, Cassie, Jack Flash, Entropy, Flux and Daisho.
Grace Lam has been known to associate with this group.
6. Cool Kids' Table.
This table is home to the school's most socially-aware, popular and beautiful students. Queiara Ceramel sits here, with Tashella normally
nearby hanging on her every word. The environment here can at times be almost as toxic, if not as potentially lethal as at the Villains' Table.
7. Geeks & Nerds Table.
The students at this table tends to be academically excellent, but socially inept and awkward and inward-looking. While most of the students
here are pleasant enough, there is a small but growing number who are becomingly increasingly hostile at those they consider their
'persecutors'. So far, this hasn't consisted of much more than a fondness for certain antisocial Reddit groups and some hostility on online
comment threads, but it may be a trend worth watching.
8. That Guy.
That Guy sits here. Nobody else does. Just That Guy. It's not... comfortable... being too close to him. Especially when he's eating.
9. The Kirby Kids' Table.
This table is reserved for those taking part in the Kirby Kids Program. Traditionally, the Kirby Kids have been elitist and aloof, so it will be
interesting to observe how they'll react to the new graduates of the Kirby Initiates Program.
10. The 'Weird Powers' Table.
This table tends to be used by students whose powers can be somewhat unsettling, but who have chosen to "lean into it" as it were. In
general, they adopt a hostile, contemptuous attitude and revel in frightening or taunting other students.Most of their choices, from fashion to
music to attitude seem almost calculated to offend, alarm or shock. Regular members of this group include a student who can summon
interdimensional duplicates of himself, Ribcage, Demon Seal and Jigsaw.
11. The Mystics' Table.
This table is mostly used by students studying at the Magic Tower. For the most part, they tend to be quiet and keep to themselves. Which
can be a nice change.
12. The Grieves' Table.
This table is reserved for the use of members of the Grieves Family, should they wish to use it. It is slightly raised, giving the family members
an excellent view of the room. The table itself is an antique, carved from extremely heavy heartwood oak, covered in intricate carvings and with
clawed feet and was previously in the main dining room of the Grieves Family mansion. Nobody is quite certain how or precisely when it was
shifted but it was definitely in the cafeteria prior to the events of 1996. The fact that it was unscathed by the hostilities and widespread
destruction which ensues at that time is yet another mystery of the Grieves Family.
13. The Heroes Table.
This table is used by students who self-identify as heroes, heroic legacy characters, or those in one or another of the various hero-centric
acceleration programs. While there is a certain camaraderie here, it is marred by competitiveness and resentment . There is an ongoing 'arms
race' of sorts involving trying to top the heroic feats of the last person to speak. On the surface, this is all done in a spirit of good humoured
bonhomie, but there's more than a little seething bitterness and smug braggadocio going on under the surface.
In response to the recent 'Kirby Initiative', certain long-standing members of the Kirby Kids Program have suggested that they be permitted to
be seated here.
14. Non-Powered Students.
Contrary to popular belief, not all the students at the Eisner Academy have superhuman abilities. Some, like Hermes Hexx, are the children or
relatives of prominent superhumans who send their children to the Academy to protect them from potential enemies. Others are the children of
prominent police, politicians or government officials from areas with a high population of superhumans. Still others are plucky kids with an
interest in journalism, criminology, or the more esoteric sciences. Still others are wards of the state, orphaned circus acrobats whose parents
were killed under tragic circumstances, for instance. And others are those who have needs which are best met by the specialist programs of
the Academy, but who have no paranormal abilities. For instance, one student who was born on a parallel Earth and transported here by
accident will need to be educated in the various differences between here and her birth-planet, but will be no stronger, faster or more able to
launch explosive meteoroids from her forehead than any other teenager.
15. The Rejects' Table.
The Reject's Table is home to those students who, for one reason or another, have been rejected from every other clique whether it's due to
extremes of personality, powers which are dangerous or disgusting, or any one of dozens of other reasons. Members of this group include
Friendship-Power Kid, Polecat, Bluebottle and Jinx.
It is in the Eisner Academy's State of the Art Cafeteria that many of the school's unofficial social groups or cliques become obvious. The
Cafeteria itself is laid out thus (See attached diagram).
1. Food Preparation Area.
This area is designed to prepare high quality, healthy and appetising food students with a variety of what can often be outre needs. Besides
standard Low-Fat, Low-Carb, Gluten-Free and Vegetarian/Vegan options, the Cafeteria prepares food for staff and students whose requirements
include such ingredients as Heavy Metals, Nectar of the Gods, Molten Magma, Hard Radiation, Nutrient-enriched Fertilizer, and the Life
Essence of Sentient Beings. Despite all of this however, the Meatloaf is still terrible.
2. Staff Table.
While there is a general suggestion that staff should maintain a level of visibility and accessibility to the students, many staff members still
prefer to eat in offices or private staff rooms. Staff members are rostered onto Cafeteria Supervision Duty, so there are always staff members
present at all meals.
3. Villains Table.
This table is used by students who self-identify as villains, villainous legacy characters, or those in one or another of the various villain-centric
acceleration programs. While there is a certain camaraderie here, it is marred by secretiveness and paranoia. There is an ongoing 'arms race'
of sorts involving the concoction of various virulent poisons and antidotes for same. As a side effect of this, most Eisner students in this clique
will have built up something of a resistance to most commonly used toxins by the time of graduation.
At this point, toxicology research and research into targeted antidotes has reached something of a stalemate, awaiting only the next
breakthrough one way or another.
Due to the events of 'The Spore Plague of 2009', the use of paid Food-Tasters has been strictly prohibited within the Cafeteria.
4. Oldies Table.
This table is reserved for mature-age students, visiting veteran heroes and villains, and external students who are looking to brush-up on the
latest techniques, or gain official qualifications. The most prominent regular students at this table are Cpl.Harriet Hellgate and
Prof.Digby Dumfries who, along with Jeremiah 'Jets' Jefferson and Captain Lance Masters, vanished into a space warp near Mars in the
late 1950's. Having missed over half a century of social, cultural and technological change, they are both suffering from extreme culture shock
and the Academy is attempting to slowly acclimatise them both into early 21st Century society.
This table also serves as a "buffer zone" of sorts between the Heroes and Villains tables, and has done a great deal to prevent what was
previously the daily outbreak of hostilities.
5. Anti-Heroes Table.
The students at this table are those whose inclinations are essentially altruistic but who are, due to the nature of their powers, in danger
of succumbing to bitterness or other anti-social behaviours. This group includes Slate, Cassie, Jack Flash, Entropy, Flux and Daisho.
Grace Lam has been known to associate with this group.
6. Cool Kids' Table.
This table is home to the school's most socially-aware, popular and beautiful students. Queiara Ceramel sits here, with Tashella normally
nearby hanging on her every word. The environment here can at times be almost as toxic, if not as potentially lethal as at the Villains' Table.
7. Geeks & Nerds Table.
The students at this table tends to be academically excellent, but socially inept and awkward and inward-looking. While most of the students
here are pleasant enough, there is a small but growing number who are becomingly increasingly hostile at those they consider their
'persecutors'. So far, this hasn't consisted of much more than a fondness for certain antisocial Reddit groups and some hostility on online
comment threads, but it may be a trend worth watching.
8. That Guy.
That Guy sits here. Nobody else does. Just That Guy. It's not... comfortable... being too close to him. Especially when he's eating.
9. The Kirby Kids' Table.
This table is reserved for those taking part in the Kirby Kids Program. Traditionally, the Kirby Kids have been elitist and aloof, so it will be
interesting to observe how they'll react to the new graduates of the Kirby Initiates Program.
10. The 'Weird Powers' Table.
This table tends to be used by students whose powers can be somewhat unsettling, but who have chosen to "lean into it" as it were. In
general, they adopt a hostile, contemptuous attitude and revel in frightening or taunting other students.Most of their choices, from fashion to
music to attitude seem almost calculated to offend, alarm or shock. Regular members of this group include a student who can summon
interdimensional duplicates of himself, Ribcage, Demon Seal and Jigsaw.
11. The Mystics' Table.
This table is mostly used by students studying at the Magic Tower. For the most part, they tend to be quiet and keep to themselves. Which
can be a nice change.
12. The Grieves' Table.
This table is reserved for the use of members of the Grieves Family, should they wish to use it. It is slightly raised, giving the family members
an excellent view of the room. The table itself is an antique, carved from extremely heavy heartwood oak, covered in intricate carvings and with
clawed feet and was previously in the main dining room of the Grieves Family mansion. Nobody is quite certain how or precisely when it was
shifted but it was definitely in the cafeteria prior to the events of 1996. The fact that it was unscathed by the hostilities and widespread
destruction which ensues at that time is yet another mystery of the Grieves Family.
13. The Heroes Table.
This table is used by students who self-identify as heroes, heroic legacy characters, or those in one or another of the various hero-centric
acceleration programs. While there is a certain camaraderie here, it is marred by competitiveness and resentment . There is an ongoing 'arms
race' of sorts involving trying to top the heroic feats of the last person to speak. On the surface, this is all done in a spirit of good humoured
bonhomie, but there's more than a little seething bitterness and smug braggadocio going on under the surface.
In response to the recent 'Kirby Initiative', certain long-standing members of the Kirby Kids Program have suggested that they be permitted to
be seated here.
14. Non-Powered Students.
Contrary to popular belief, not all the students at the Eisner Academy have superhuman abilities. Some, like Hermes Hexx, are the children or
relatives of prominent superhumans who send their children to the Academy to protect them from potential enemies. Others are the children of
prominent police, politicians or government officials from areas with a high population of superhumans. Still others are plucky kids with an
interest in journalism, criminology, or the more esoteric sciences. Still others are wards of the state, orphaned circus acrobats whose parents
were killed under tragic circumstances, for instance. And others are those who have needs which are best met by the specialist programs of
the Academy, but who have no paranormal abilities. For instance, one student who was born on a parallel Earth and transported here by
accident will need to be educated in the various differences between here and her birth-planet, but will be no stronger, faster or more able to
launch explosive meteoroids from her forehead than any other teenager.
15. The Rejects' Table.
The Reject's Table is home to those students who, for one reason or another, have been rejected from every other clique whether it's due to
extremes of personality, powers which are dangerous or disgusting, or any one of dozens of other reasons. Members of this group include
Friendship-Power Kid, Polecat, Bluebottle and Jinx.