i'se so short, i can parachute off a dime...
coming up on parol...
things are afoot,i told Auto that if it wanted a job, then it best find something different to focus on and get the fuck on board with me and the rest of the team... wait, let me back track and fill you in on a bit of back story
Auto's a subself (watch pixar's "Inside Out"),& it's old job was running what i like to call my meat bag.It has been doing it for the past 2 decades, or more if i'm going to be truly honest with myself.Auto isn't the problem really, it Is the default settings after all. the problem has been that i left it running for too long. well, that and both it and i love cookies and weed, which makes me like more cookies. a match made in hell.20 yrs of it.ha ha fml.
This is how i find myself this week,after ups and downs. denials, binges and being unable to look at myself in the mirror.unwilling to witness the horror of what i have become. Worse, what i have allowed myself to become. Standing on the scale saying, fuckme-not-again-i-said-i-would-never-get-here-again-how?-wtf-happened?.
Yep,i managed to rediscover those 25 lbs i had previously dropped in 6 months, when left to my own devices. It's not cool & is fucking me up on so many levels.my everything is seizing up! That's it's only funny cause it's true! both feet to the knees. . my hips, siting and laying down have become painful over the past 24 hrs. left knee keeps being pulled out,with spasm in my shins because i won't allow my foot t turn in like it want to.now, the wrists and hands are screaming too.
Something happened on Canada day weekend 2017. It brought a few things to a head.i found out that i am roughly 5 lbs away from being 100 lbs over the upper limit of my BMI. the last 7 lbs have been murderous. (see the paragraph above for starters) needless to say that i couldn't deny it anymore,shit was getting out of control.despite my gains, and there have been some major ones in the positives, especially in the fitness interaction area.. it's not enough. i went from semi athletic levels of movement to zero. full on stop. and i never changed my eating habits, in fact they got worse and i pudged up more.q'uelle shocker, right? not trying to be harsh on myself in a bad way, more like an old Russian coach.telling like it is. so i am picking up where i left off 6 months ago, i start pole dance level 1 classes this coming Sunday night and in a few hrs i will be starting a swimming boot camp of sorts. 3 weeks, twice a week swim lessons on tuesday and thursdays. let's see how this works out. I mean, btwn this l'il kick start on top of the hula hooping, intermediated yoga/ physio sessions and strolls down the lane coupled with my returning to taking plaquinil (lupus meds) will help me get back on track . especially in the kitchen.those pills rotted my guts and made fizzy drinks, booze & ice cream the enemy. i welcome the nausea now as i would a calvary man. it will help guard me from the temptation which is known as the kitchen.
things are afoot,i told Auto that if it wanted a job, then it best find something different to focus on and get the fuck on board with me and the rest of the team... wait, let me back track and fill you in on a bit of back story
Auto's a subself (watch pixar's "Inside Out"),& it's old job was running what i like to call my meat bag.It has been doing it for the past 2 decades, or more if i'm going to be truly honest with myself.Auto isn't the problem really, it Is the default settings after all. the problem has been that i left it running for too long. well, that and both it and i love cookies and weed, which makes me like more cookies. a match made in hell.20 yrs of it.ha ha fml.
This is how i find myself this week,after ups and downs. denials, binges and being unable to look at myself in the mirror.unwilling to witness the horror of what i have become. Worse, what i have allowed myself to become. Standing on the scale saying, fuckme-not-again-i-said-i-would-never-get-here-again-how?-wtf-happened?.
Yep,i managed to rediscover those 25 lbs i had previously dropped in 6 months, when left to my own devices. It's not cool & is fucking me up on so many levels.my everything is seizing up! That's it's only funny cause it's true! both feet to the knees. . my hips, siting and laying down have become painful over the past 24 hrs. left knee keeps being pulled out,with spasm in my shins because i won't allow my foot t turn in like it want to.now, the wrists and hands are screaming too.
Something happened on Canada day weekend 2017. It brought a few things to a head.i found out that i am roughly 5 lbs away from being 100 lbs over the upper limit of my BMI. the last 7 lbs have been murderous. (see the paragraph above for starters) needless to say that i couldn't deny it anymore,shit was getting out of control.despite my gains, and there have been some major ones in the positives, especially in the fitness interaction area.. it's not enough. i went from semi athletic levels of movement to zero. full on stop. and i never changed my eating habits, in fact they got worse and i pudged up more.q'uelle shocker, right? not trying to be harsh on myself in a bad way, more like an old Russian coach.telling like it is. so i am picking up where i left off 6 months ago, i start pole dance level 1 classes this coming Sunday night and in a few hrs i will be starting a swimming boot camp of sorts. 3 weeks, twice a week swim lessons on tuesday and thursdays. let's see how this works out. I mean, btwn this l'il kick start on top of the hula hooping, intermediated yoga/ physio sessions and strolls down the lane coupled with my returning to taking plaquinil (lupus meds) will help me get back on track . especially in the kitchen.those pills rotted my guts and made fizzy drinks, booze & ice cream the enemy. i welcome the nausea now as i would a calvary man. it will help guard me from the temptation which is known as the kitchen.