Faux News - Fairly Unbalanced
Looking back, I realize the last few entries were a bit critical of America. Before the neo-cons call the feds to report me as a terrorist ("He's even Korean," they'll add), I just wanted to say how much I love America. USA! USA! USA! *waves flag frantically like a morAn*
Cool? Cool.
So today's blogging will be done "Fox News Entertainment" style, so as not to upset any righties...err...I mean super-patriotic wonderful people with superior morals to those godless heathen northeasterners.
Bogus military suppliers sentenced
Two Florida men who bid on hundreds of military supply contracts were sentenced Monday to federal prison for providing the military with at least $4 million in fraudulent electronic parts - many of which government officials said impeded U.S. troops at war in Iraq.
Horace Christopher Daughtrey, 28, and George Searcy, 36, of St. Johns County had pleaded guilty to conspiring to defraud the Department of Defense after discovering it doesn't check backgrounds and accepts bids online for supply contracts worth less than $100,000, prosecutors said.
Now clearly these two must be liberals because they hate America. It also goes without saying that they must have IQs of 200 to be able to defraud the Department of Defense, because no one is smarterer than our government. THEY ARE TERRORISTS! TERRORISTS! BOMB FLORIDA!
Err...Sorry. Got a bit carried away there.
The Whitest Kids
So this group of freedom-hating liberals thinks it's funny to swear on the internet while they destroy the social fabric of America (cue: American anthem, sponsored by Diebold). And they want to laugh while America is at war??? Who do they think they are? Comedians??? Uhhh. They are?
Oh wait, it doesn't matter because they're from the godless state of New York. Praise belongs to Dubya the Lord of the worlds.
And the "Pregnancy Test," "Drunk Dad," and "I Am Your Leader" sketches??? Not funny. Those are horrible examples of everything that is wrong with this country. You shall burn in hell, infidels. DIE DIE DIE! MUWAHAHAHAH
Some Papers Pull, Edit 'Doonesbury' Strip
In breaking news, Doonesbury creator Garry Trudeau has been added to the terrorist watch list, and rightfully so. The man refuses to acknowledge the greatness that is the Bushy. We love the Bushy. Praise the Bushy.
And how dare Trudeau use such atrocious language as uhh...can I say this on the air? I can? What do you mean it's not a big deal??? Well, okay. "Turd Blossom." Garry Trudeau wrote that, and millions of babies started to cry. It's true, you heard it here first, on Faux.
Couple Cleared Of Child Sex Charges
Now this disturbs me. The father actually KISSED the baby on the uhh...BELLYBUTTON! THE HORROR! And his wife, the heathen, took a PHOTO! How can we let these maniacs loose???
Of course it was okay that the courts took away the child and put the parents on trial. But those godless liberals cried about something called "common sense" or something, and so now these perverts are on the loose!
PLUS! The couple, Charbel and Teresa Hamaty, are Lebanese! Aren't they like Aye-rabs??? So they're terrorists! Those blasphemous liberals let a buncha terrorist child molestors loose in the country! Lock 'em up! Lock 'em up! Lock 'em up!
That's all for now from the only unbiased media source, Faux News Entertainment. Stay tuned, coming up next: "The War In Iraq Is Swell, Don't Worry About Bin Laden."
Cool? Cool.
So today's blogging will be done "Fox News Entertainment" style, so as not to upset any righties...err...I mean super-patriotic wonderful people with superior morals to those godless heathen northeasterners.
Bogus military suppliers sentenced
Two Florida men who bid on hundreds of military supply contracts were sentenced Monday to federal prison for providing the military with at least $4 million in fraudulent electronic parts - many of which government officials said impeded U.S. troops at war in Iraq.
Horace Christopher Daughtrey, 28, and George Searcy, 36, of St. Johns County had pleaded guilty to conspiring to defraud the Department of Defense after discovering it doesn't check backgrounds and accepts bids online for supply contracts worth less than $100,000, prosecutors said.
Now clearly these two must be liberals because they hate America. It also goes without saying that they must have IQs of 200 to be able to defraud the Department of Defense, because no one is smarterer than our government. THEY ARE TERRORISTS! TERRORISTS! BOMB FLORIDA!
Err...Sorry. Got a bit carried away there.
The Whitest Kids
So this group of freedom-hating liberals thinks it's funny to swear on the internet while they destroy the social fabric of America (cue: American anthem, sponsored by Diebold). And they want to laugh while America is at war??? Who do they think they are? Comedians??? Uhhh. They are?
Oh wait, it doesn't matter because they're from the godless state of New York. Praise belongs to Dubya the Lord of the worlds.
And the "Pregnancy Test," "Drunk Dad," and "I Am Your Leader" sketches??? Not funny. Those are horrible examples of everything that is wrong with this country. You shall burn in hell, infidels. DIE DIE DIE! MUWAHAHAHAH
Some Papers Pull, Edit 'Doonesbury' Strip
In breaking news, Doonesbury creator Garry Trudeau has been added to the terrorist watch list, and rightfully so. The man refuses to acknowledge the greatness that is the Bushy. We love the Bushy. Praise the Bushy.
And how dare Trudeau use such atrocious language as uhh...can I say this on the air? I can? What do you mean it's not a big deal??? Well, okay. "Turd Blossom." Garry Trudeau wrote that, and millions of babies started to cry. It's true, you heard it here first, on Faux.
Couple Cleared Of Child Sex Charges
Now this disturbs me. The father actually KISSED the baby on the uhh...BELLYBUTTON! THE HORROR! And his wife, the heathen, took a PHOTO! How can we let these maniacs loose???
Of course it was okay that the courts took away the child and put the parents on trial. But those godless liberals cried about something called "common sense" or something, and so now these perverts are on the loose!
PLUS! The couple, Charbel and Teresa Hamaty, are Lebanese! Aren't they like Aye-rabs??? So they're terrorists! Those blasphemous liberals let a buncha terrorist child molestors loose in the country! Lock 'em up! Lock 'em up! Lock 'em up!
That's all for now from the only unbiased media source, Faux News Entertainment. Stay tuned, coming up next: "The War In Iraq Is Swell, Don't Worry About Bin Laden."