im making memories

Aug 03, 2008 18:50

i used to write as a sense of community. I used to care about people reading my entries and responding..showing me that soemone in the world cares a little bit about the thing i write...now i use lj as a form of looking back, as a form of creating memories for me to look back on.

it's weird that blogging is the thing to do now days, and yet ive been doing it for 8 years or so.

i know ive said it a million times before, but noone likes me, and it true. Do you know how many times people have walked up to me and said a few sentences, and then i resond. Only to have them walk away and move to another persons conversation over mine.

whats wrong with me? I know it takes effort to talk to me, you really have to want to, yet noone ever seems to want to.

im told im a self concious miserable fuck who will be alone forever.

yet.

i am a reflection of how i have been treated but society, family, friends, lovers, etc..its really not too much my fault.

I refuse to be anything i am not.

i embrace who i am

yet..noone wants to go through the effort.

I'm more alone than i was months ago.

my last semester of grad school starts soon..i have not sold much art which i consider a failure, even though i do so well in critique.

I am trying to figure out what to do next.

fuck you
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