Roger Ebert, A HORRIBLE EXPERIENCE OF UNBEARABLE LENGTH: MORE MOVIES THAT SUCK
Four and three-quarter stars
A Horrible Experience of Unbearable Length: More Movies that Suck is a collection of critiques by film critic Roger Ebert of fatally flawed films. Using a system of stars -- half-star, star, star-and-a-half, two stars -- plus the "NOT" symbol (a circle overlain by a slash, to indicate "don't go there," to indicate films nobody should see, e.g., The Human Centipede and The Human Centipede 2), he delivers dissections of his prey that are witty, insightful, frequently hilarious, and occasionally devastating. Reading it, I found myself laughing again and again over his critiques of movies, which frequently rival the late, great Dorothy Parker's razor-sharp deliveries on a universe of subjects. The man is good, very good. But there are problems in Eden, as well, which detracted considerably from the delight which reading this book otherwise gave.
Ebert is a self-professed political liberal. That's fine, and his privilege -- except when his observations devolve into nasty name-calling directed at conservatives, e.g., referring to members of the Tea Party as "tea-baggers." I wonder if he is aware that "tea-bagger" is a slur against gay men, referring as it does to a certain sexual practice. The GLBT crowd is supposed to support the liberal/Democratic party. Why, then, go out of his way to alienate gay men? Or why make sarcastic remarks mentioning Glen Beck that don't make much sense at all unless one is in on the joke and shares Ebert's political philosophy? When I read a critique of a film, I expect it to concentrate on the film in question, panning it with jokes relevant to that film rather than politically significant remarks that don't seem to have any relevance to it whatsoever.
Even so, that problem aside, Ebert has a devastating wit, and displays it prominently in the essays included in this book. For example:
On Seven Days in Utopia: "I would rather eat a golf ball than see this movie again. One star."
On Battle: Los Angeles: "Young men: If you attend this crap with friends who admire it, tactfully inform them they are idiots. Young women: If your date likes this movie, tell him you've been thinking it over and you think you should consider spending some time apart. Half-star." (I actually watched this turkey on DVD. Ebert is being kind.)
On Death Race: "Hitchcock said a movie should play the audience like a piano. Death Race played me like a drum. It is an assault on all the senses, including common. Walking out, I had the impression I had just seen the video game and was still waiting for the movie. Half-star."
Seeking out this book and reading it from cover to cover is well worth the effort, because: (1) you can learn from it which movies not to waste your money and/or time and/or eyestrain on; and 2) Ebert is a highly literate and very funny man, and if you have any medical complaints, this book provides plenty of what The Reader's Digest calls "the best medicine." I give this book and its predecessor, Ebert's Your Movie Sucks, four and three-quarter stars on a scale of 5.