[Fic] Nothing more than a smile
Title: Nothing more than a smile
Chapter: 1/1
Author: Pokky
Genre: Slice of life, romance
Pairing: ReitaxKai
Rating: PG-13
Warning: Bittersweet, not AU and OCxKai
Summary: A bright day, a bright occasion and Reita's gloomy eyes.
Note: This is a present-fic for my dear friend Peachy. It was due for the last July, but seems I'm very late xD
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Reita woke up to a sun that was too bright, to a bed that was too empty, to a state of mind that was too slow and to a heart that was too heavy.
It was a normal morning routine with not much excitement, but he felt strangely more tired than he should feel, knowing exactly what was to blame.
After all, he was standing in front of the dreaded day he wanted to be nothing more but a dream, even though it was strangely ressembling that of a starting nightmare.
He glared at the many cars that were parked, and if not, were fixed on the asphalt that constituted the road just in front of the church. Camera crews were already fired up, each staff crew preparing and managing the settlement for the shootings and the filming that would take place. Next to him was a rather excited bandmate and someone who he had always thought of as a true friend. Reita named the excited companion Uruha. His said friend was having an animated conversation about weither or not he should have wore the white suit instead of the black one had on himself at the moment with another friend called Ruki, who was rather loud when drunk(... it didn't take him a lot to get drunk either). They were all tossed in their special white van, their manager Sakai-san driving and Aoi sitting on the passenger's seat.
Although the people around him were rather loud, Reita tried his best to seem bored and it worked quite wonderfully. No one has noticed his strange behaviour and he liked to stick to that idea(unfortunately, his bandmates did notice he was quiet, but decided it better to not speculate on it too long). He was never really good at faking excuses anyway. If one of his friends were to ask him what was wrong, he'd certainly wouldn't be able to find good excuses, because frankly, that day, there was absolutely no reasons for one to be down.
The manager parked the van on his VIP spot and one by one, they got out of the vehicule. The place was empty of cars, but they could feel the presence of numerous people in the church.
"Ok guys." Sakai-san said, gaining the attention of his little protegés. "I know how much you must be excited, but let's not forget to behave ourselves. I want you to take in consideration that this occasion does not happen very often. You guys are what I'm proud of, not only your career but you as people. No matter what you get yourselves into and how, I will support you fully. So today, let's do the same for Kai, who needs his disfunctional family by his side." Sakai-san smiled, bringing the young men around him into a group hug.
After that display of affection, they dispatched heartfully(although Reita did not want to be part of the group hug) and all followed the older man into the church. Once there, Uruha decided to stick to Aoi, who went to the back of the church to take a smoke. Ruki raised his brow, skeptically looking at the two guitarists.
"And says the guy who stopped smoking." Ruki chuckled lowly, a hint of sarcasm present in his voice. Uruha whined.
"Vee... I'm not going to smoke, I stopped! I'm just going to take fresh morning air!" Uruha defended, pouting playfully, which got him a slow punch from Aoi. The black haired one looked impatient and serious.
"When I say now, I mean now. You coming or not?" He said grumpily, not waiting for a reply from Uruha and just walked to the back doors. Uruha excused himself and said something about "anger-management issues" and disappeared outside. Ruki just laughed at his friend's morning behaviour, then went on to say he'll be with the manager, both going to be preparing their speeches for the occasion.
As for Reita, he just sat down in front of the place he dreaded the most : The place where Kai and his girlfriend will be officially pronounced husband and wife. He was not familiar with churches(it was the first time he was in one) but watched enough foreign movies to know where he was sitting and what was in front of him. He looked at his watch and sighed quite painfully. The ceremony would be held at 10:50am, and it was only 8:28am. He adjusted his nose-band and closed his eyes. He figured if he fell asleep, time would pass by way faster than if he was awake. And so that's what he did but frigthfully, sleep did not come as easily as he would have liked.
Some time later, maybe ten minutes later he couldn't really tell, he was jolted awake by Ruki's poking finger. He looked up with a scowl.
"Dude, if you want to go talk to Kai, do it now before the church gets too full." Ruki said in an almost pleading tone. Reita adverted his eyes elsewhere and stayed silent for a good moment. Ruki clearly understood he was not going to be given any reply or reaction from Reita, so he just took the seat to Reita's left. "Tired?" Ruki asked and Reita shook his head and sighed.
"It's not that I'm tired... You know how these things can be stressful. 'Kai from the band Gazette is now married! What new gossip can we start with this topic?'". He answered, imitating a girly-reporter-like voice and leaned the upper part of his back against the chair. When Ruki chuckled at this, he sighed a little too loud and tried to position his legs so he would be comfortable. He crossed his arms against his chest and yet again, let out another slip of a sigh.
"Relax. What will come later will come later. Right now, don't think about anything else than Yutaka's happiness and just try to enjoy this, alright? I mean, it's not every day we get to celebrate his wedding." Indeed, it wasn't every day and Reita was grateful for it. He stared at Ruki for a moment, his friend's words slipping in a little farther past his stubborn defense. He reflected on them for a few seconds and nodded.
"I guess you're right. I'll go see him in a bit." As he said those words, a group of people came into the room, sitting themselves on the row next to his. They looked like the girlfriend's family and friends. As he eyed them with an almost threatening glare, he stood up(that made Ruki also stand up) and followed behind Ruki. The smaller man lead the way to the groom's room where Kai was presently making himself look nice. They stopped in front of a wooden brown door, hearing faint chatters behind closed doors.
"He's in there but I need to leave now. Unlike you who has nothing to do, I have to write my speech on some paper." Ruki smiled and walked into another room further down the corridor. Reita stood there motionless, his heart beating quite savagely in it's rib cage. Before he could finally calm himself down, the door opened and his gaze directly met Uruha's shocked ones.
"Ah.. Akira! I was just finished with my encouragement lecture. You can come in." Uruha said, sheepishly smiling as he tossed himself out of the way and signalling with his hands for the perplexed boy to come in.
"Weren't you supposed to be outside?" Reita asked, not sure if he's been following the earlier events chronologically.
"But Aoi's boring when he smokes. It's like he's drawn to the cigarette and only sees the cigarette when he smokes it.. Sort of like a horse when you put those things around their eyes so that they only see what's in front of them when they run... It's not really interesting. In fact, it's like having a deep conversation with a window. Not productive, yeah?" Uruha answered truthfully and Kai let out a laugh. Reita walked in and Uruha hastily bid his goodbyes to both his bandmates before the closing the door behind, and murmuring something about ruining Ruki's speech.
Reita turned to Kai. "Don't tell me he's already drunk?" Reita asked with good humour and it made the drummer laugh.
"Don't say that! He just happens to be in a good mood." Kai replied and Reita realized.
They weren't in the studio, they weren't going to work all day and kill their brains for inspiration, he wasn't supposed to be himself. Today was different because Kai was there, adorning a wonderful smile, wearing a white suit and a very delicate and pale pink butterfly loop. Reita's shoulder slumped. So this was for real. This was not some kind of very realistic and cruel joke.
Kai giggled while approaching him, giving him a full heart-warming hug and pats on his back. Reita felt the warmness of this act, and trying not to linger on it too long, decided to hold the other's back just to feel. Kai giggled some more before going completely silent, still in his arms and despite not being able to see the soon-to-be-wedded friend, he knew there was a smile on his happy face.
Kai laughed again after feeling that Reita wanted to break the hug. That made him hug the other the more, winning a grunt from the reluctant bassist. After a short moment, the drummer's giggles subsided down to zero, which got Reita's attention. His inner-self hoped Kai wouldn't begin to cry all of a sudden(as he's seen this in many movies), and his wish has not come true. Kai's shoulders began to tremble just a little and small sobs could be heard. Kai's grip on his neck became slightly suffocating, but he tried his best to return the support the other needed. He patted on the sobbing man's hair, trying not to ruffle it up too much.
"Hey, don't cry. The make-up artists will be pissed." Reita said in an attempt to erase some of the awkwardness away and it seemed to work, as he heard Kai laugh a bit. Feeling unnerved for some reason he couldn't place out, he took the groom by the shoulders and detached himself from the earlier embrace they were laced in.
"Yeah, I know! And they woke up so early today when it's supposed to be a day-off." Kai said, convincing his tears to stop flowing. Reita's lips were suddenly feeling very dry, so he licked his lower lip, relieved that he didn't taste blood on them. He silently watched as the other man rubbed off some remnant of tears on his upper cheek and he felt a stab in his chest. Kai was happy, so he had no right to feel down, he thought, taking out his Burberry handkerchief and offering it to the confused man.
"Since when do you care about your handkerchief's brand?" Kai asked, taking the said clout into his hands to his cheeks.
"Since Sakai-san became our manager. We can't be seen with him if our stuff is "noname"." He answered, winning a smile from his friend. And as Reita watched the other man adjusting his pale pink butterfly loop in front of a mirror, he felt guilt washing itself all over his conscienceness: He was a selfish bastard.
*
"I feel that time is selfish, always growing and never stopping no matter how much we pray. And sometimes, along time, we find our dreams, we find our goals and we achieve them, never stopping and always going forward. Sadness, confusion, jealousy, hate... They all brush us with their waves, may they be small or big, but they can't hold us down. They can't hold us down because somewhere out there, there's someone who wants us to be unharmed, who'd go to any extent to see us unharmed, happy and caring..."
Reita's attention was focused on Ruki, who was expressing his speech in front of everyone in the church without even a hint of discomfort or nervousness. He gulped every word the speaking man said without so much of a care, as he was already greatly tormented by all the turn of events.
"... It seems like Yutaka has found that someone and today will reunite their bonds to a whole new level. As a member of Gazette, I wish him all the happiness there is to gain from this relationship and as a friend, I only want him to be happy..." Ruki bowed his head down, ending his speech and earning claps and cheers from the audience(as well as the photographers and camera crew). He made his way as he passed in front of Kai and Yuka holding hands, lovingly smiling at each other. He sat down on his assigned chair just next to Aoi.
Reita fumbled his thumbs, eyes frantic and searching for something to watch as the priest raised his book up to his nose and started reading the first sentence of this catholic wedding ceremony. He blocked all the noise away, only staring intently at Kai, who seemed unaware of everyone's presence except for Yuka. He stared, a certain gloom in his eyes. A negative feeling took a grip of his heart as Kai said "I do". He shifted his stare to the floor, but he couldn't shut out Yuka's "I do". He closed his eyes, but he could see the genuine kiss nonetheless.
Suddenly but calmly, the beautiful sound of the classical piano was resonating throughout the church, but it only added pain to his chest. He forced himself to look up, the scene taking place in front of him appearing like a stage from a movie theatre. He could see the groom widely smiling with his gorgeous bride's hands lached within his own, white flowers being thrown at them by Yuka's little nieces and nephews. Everybody in the room stood up, clapping their hands and shouting encouraging words to the new-born married couple. He also stood, arms at his side and rigid as a wooden shelf.
He couldn't see the other joyous members clearly. Everything but Kai seemed to take a blurry shape and he tried to hold it in, not wanting to show any sign of weakness in front of anyone. Oh, but it did burn and it hurt further more than what he initially thought.
And then their eyes met. One pair full of elation, the other pair empty of it. But Reita knew better. He shouldn't be showing this side of his feelings, he shouldn't be ungrateful to be where he was, he didn't have the right to reflect on such thoughts.
So he smiled through the blurred crowd, through the lucid summer light, through the piano note's, through the splendid bride and reaching the beautiful groom who bought it completely. But it was nothing more than a smile, Reita thought. "But it's nothing more than a smile, Kai. One that hides behind cowardice and hypocrisy.".
End.
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Author's note: It's been so long since I've been active, but my muses are slowly coming back to me! I have a motivation and lots of free time, considering it's Christmas vacation and all. Hope you guys enjoyed my first ReitaxKai!