[Gameverse] Pokémon Center Nurse
anonymous
August 16 2011, 02:26:11 UTC
The boy was no more than ten years old, she guessed, as she sucked on her bottom lip. Her eyes had taken in the scratches on his face and the fresh burn on his hand as he presented his Pokéballs to her with a smile. He's just like all the others, she thought, resting her hands on the healing machine's console, her back turned to the rest of the Pokémon Center. Thinks he's invincible.
She had seen so many young people, running headlong into a world filled with teeth and claws and fire and ice, giggling the whole way. The relief she felt whenever she recognized a face walking through the center's front doors was replaced with worry once the child went back out into the wilds.
Ding. The machine's hums dimmed and the cover opened, revealing six Pokéballs holding six fully-healed Pokémon. She steeled herself and turned to the boy waiting patiently on the other side of the counter
( ... )
Re: [Gameverse] Pokémon Center NursesolarpillarSeptember 1 2011, 21:23:54 UTC
I like how this fic offers us the theory that the NPCs aren't really that apathetic, just try not to show us that they are worried. It also show us that the Pokemon training isn't entirely safe for the trainer. I mean, for a time I felt it really unfair how powerful creature just obey humans like that and humans do nothing but giving commands. I was also bemused by how attacks that missed or multi-targets field attacks won't hit the trainer behind. This fic puts Pokemon battle and training in a more realistic light
( ... )
[Gameverse: Gen IV] Cyrus
anonymous
August 16 2011, 02:28:37 UTC
The world was dark and empty. Cyrus knew he was alone here, but he constantly heard noises. Leaves rustling, wind blowing, whispers, groaning. His own breathing, shallow and ragged. He decided that the world itself was moving, stretching and twisting itself under his feet. It wouldn't come as a surprise; he had seen the very fabric of this world warp before his eyes when he had first arrived
( ... )
Re: [Gameverse: Gen IV] CyrussolarpillarSeptember 1 2011, 21:33:22 UTC
I find it ironic how Cyrus, a man dead set against emotions, is shown with such strong emotions in this fic and still very in-character. Good job. I cannot find anything that bothers me in this fic.
This is super creepy and interesting! I loved your descriptions, and I think this is the first fic that's made me feel afraid for Cyrus rather than afraid of him. He's...really in a terrible situation, and even though he's trying to make the best of it at the end (in his own way), I feel like I'm not certain he'll overcome it. It brings a note of humanity to his character that I really like. Awesome ficlet :)
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Re: [Gen I] Ils chanteront nos chansons (Eevee+Green)solarpillarSeptember 1 2011, 22:34:00 UTC
I like Green and Eevee, so this was the first fic I took time to read on this page. It's a good fic. It discusses the difficulty of getting a female eevee *stare at own game and the hours I wasted hatching eevee eggs* and remembers that, supposedly, Green used to be a fairly ok boy until something happened when he was 9 or 10 that made him turn into a jerk, heavily implied to be Prof Oak's favouritism over Red
( ... )
Re: [Gen I] Ils chanteront nos chansons (Eevee+Green)chrysaSeptember 18 2011, 02:53:18 UTC
Hi!
Thanks for your comment. I wanted to wait until the author reveal to reply so I hope you don't mind.
Haha, oops, re: IVs vs. EVs. The irony was that I was actually camped out at Bulbapedia trying to figure out a nature for Eevee, but I missed something very basic. ^^; I spent the summer stuffing my head with science so I could take my MCATs and it basically wiped out my memory of everything else. /sigh
To point two: The problem with the monotone, I think, was the fact that I basically had to strip the fic away of all formatting to get it to fit (including "" marks ;.;). I wrote the story in Word and kept a careful eye on the character count, but Word didn't count the paragraph breaks as characters on top of lark's imposed x00 wc rule, I was basically at a loss of what to do. This pretty much goes to show the importance of breaks in telling a story and pacing. I reposted it with the correct formatting, so hopefully that solves the issue -- if you care enough to reread it and it's not, please clarify and I'll try to fix it
( ... )
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She had seen so many young people, running headlong into a world filled with teeth and claws and fire and ice, giggling the whole way. The relief she felt whenever she recognized a face walking through the center's front doors was replaced with worry once the child went back out into the wilds.
Ding. The machine's hums dimmed and the cover opened, revealing six Pokéballs holding six fully-healed Pokémon. She steeled herself and turned to the boy waiting patiently on the other side of the counter ( ... )
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You can leave a million comments here if you want/need to as you keep writing new drabbles and having to claim them. That's okay!
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Thanks for your comment. I wanted to wait until the author reveal to reply so I hope you don't mind.
Haha, oops, re: IVs vs. EVs. The irony was that I was actually camped out at Bulbapedia trying to figure out a nature for Eevee, but I missed something very basic. ^^; I spent the summer stuffing my head with science so I could take my MCATs and it basically wiped out my memory of everything else. /sigh
To point two: The problem with the monotone, I think, was the fact that I basically had to strip the fic away of all formatting to get it to fit (including "" marks ;.;). I wrote the story in Word and kept a careful eye on the character count, but Word didn't count the paragraph breaks as characters on top of lark's imposed x00 wc rule, I was basically at a loss of what to do. This pretty much goes to show the importance of breaks in telling a story and pacing. I reposted it with the correct formatting, so hopefully that solves the issue -- if you care enough to reread it and it's not, please clarify and I'll try to fix it ( ... )
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