(no subject)
so classes are over.
i have finals on monday tuesday and wednesday
i just had my jury (which i did well on :D !!!!!)
ben is coming home tonight. and i get to see him.
XD
and i am going to be a mess. i should probably wash off my makeup, otherwise i will just cry it off.
my mind is everywhere. but my mind is nowhere. i dont think i have ever been like this before. i cant stop thinking, but i cant think.
i have never felt this empty. im not depressed necessarily, but i have just been holding in all my emotions and fears for the entire semester. i do not like myself. i probably seem fine and normal on the outside, but there is so much that i have been hiding, even from myself. i feel blank, but there is so much going on. i feel kind of soul-less.... or like a boy....
eek, that is so mean. hahaha
i predict that i will either lose it when i see ben and all the emotion i have been hiding will be let out, or it is going to take a while to get back to normal. i have never needed a vacation more than i do now. i need ben and my family, and my old friends, and my animals.
i need fun, because this semester has had a complete lack of it. the past few months have gone by so slowly, with a huge amount of drama, lots of stress, and little motivation.
i will be done by wednesday night. i have to keep telling myself that.
BTW
I have a concert tomorrow night (friday) @7:30 in founders hall @ CCSU
BE THERE BECAUSE IT WILL BE WONDERFUL!!!!!
i have finals on monday tuesday and wednesday
i just had my jury (which i did well on :D !!!!!)
ben is coming home tonight. and i get to see him.
XD
and i am going to be a mess. i should probably wash off my makeup, otherwise i will just cry it off.
my mind is everywhere. but my mind is nowhere. i dont think i have ever been like this before. i cant stop thinking, but i cant think.
i have never felt this empty. im not depressed necessarily, but i have just been holding in all my emotions and fears for the entire semester. i do not like myself. i probably seem fine and normal on the outside, but there is so much that i have been hiding, even from myself. i feel blank, but there is so much going on. i feel kind of soul-less.... or like a boy....
eek, that is so mean. hahaha
i predict that i will either lose it when i see ben and all the emotion i have been hiding will be let out, or it is going to take a while to get back to normal. i have never needed a vacation more than i do now. i need ben and my family, and my old friends, and my animals.
i need fun, because this semester has had a complete lack of it. the past few months have gone by so slowly, with a huge amount of drama, lots of stress, and little motivation.
i will be done by wednesday night. i have to keep telling myself that.
BTW
I have a concert tomorrow night (friday) @7:30 in founders hall @ CCSU
BE THERE BECAUSE IT WILL BE WONDERFUL!!!!!