being a loner....
this semester, i have made many, many wonderful friends. my relationships with people are 100 times better than they were last year.
however, i feel that as the semester has progressed, many of the people i thought were friends of mine act really weird around me. generally, i act friendly, i am approachable, i am honest, and i know how to treat people with respect.
so why do other people make me feel awkward for being myself? do they not realize that they are making me upset?
i know that many of the people in the music department have very deceiving facades, but i don't believe that i am the kind of person who needs to witness them. i don't have a facade. i don't say things that i do not mean. i do not bash someone and then act like their best friend when they are around.
i tell people how i feel, or don't say anything at all. if someone has a problem with me, they should tell me!
i know that my social skills are somewhat lacking, that i am not always tactful, and that i often just do not know what to say to people.
but i have strengths too. i am supportive. i give people the benefit of the doubt. i see the beauty in everyone. i give good advice. i am a good listener. i am a realist. i see situations from every side. and i never judge people. i think i make a pretty great friend.
im so tired of feeling like a loner.
am i too wierd? too unpredictable? too childish? too mature? too different?
what about me can't people handle?
i shouldn't care about what people think of me, and i usually don't. but i just wish i knew the truth. i wish i knew what people thought of me, good or bad, instead of acting fake.
maybe it is because people think i am weak. i am EMOTIONAL, not weak.
i have gone through way too much to be considered weak.
and if people sat down with me, one on one, asked me questions, tried to figure me out, they would understand what turned me into myself.
if people actually tried to get to know me, they would learn that i am not weak. i am not weird. i am not unpredictable.
dont confuse my emotionality with weakness. dont confuse my humor with weirdness. dont confuse my facets with unpredictability.
i am an open book.
ask me anything you desire to.
i will tell you anything.
i am not afraid of my past.
and i am not afraid of your real thoughts.
..................................................
here is your chance. ask or tell anything you have ever wished to ask or say to me. please. for my own sake. my mental stability. my confidence.
because you love me?
however, i feel that as the semester has progressed, many of the people i thought were friends of mine act really weird around me. generally, i act friendly, i am approachable, i am honest, and i know how to treat people with respect.
so why do other people make me feel awkward for being myself? do they not realize that they are making me upset?
i know that many of the people in the music department have very deceiving facades, but i don't believe that i am the kind of person who needs to witness them. i don't have a facade. i don't say things that i do not mean. i do not bash someone and then act like their best friend when they are around.
i tell people how i feel, or don't say anything at all. if someone has a problem with me, they should tell me!
i know that my social skills are somewhat lacking, that i am not always tactful, and that i often just do not know what to say to people.
but i have strengths too. i am supportive. i give people the benefit of the doubt. i see the beauty in everyone. i give good advice. i am a good listener. i am a realist. i see situations from every side. and i never judge people. i think i make a pretty great friend.
im so tired of feeling like a loner.
am i too wierd? too unpredictable? too childish? too mature? too different?
what about me can't people handle?
i shouldn't care about what people think of me, and i usually don't. but i just wish i knew the truth. i wish i knew what people thought of me, good or bad, instead of acting fake.
maybe it is because people think i am weak. i am EMOTIONAL, not weak.
i have gone through way too much to be considered weak.
and if people sat down with me, one on one, asked me questions, tried to figure me out, they would understand what turned me into myself.
if people actually tried to get to know me, they would learn that i am not weak. i am not weird. i am not unpredictable.
dont confuse my emotionality with weakness. dont confuse my humor with weirdness. dont confuse my facets with unpredictability.
i am an open book.
ask me anything you desire to.
i will tell you anything.
i am not afraid of my past.
and i am not afraid of your real thoughts.
..................................................
here is your chance. ask or tell anything you have ever wished to ask or say to me. please. for my own sake. my mental stability. my confidence.
because you love me?