Buried: Chapter 9
Title: Buried
Pairing: Eunhae
Genre: AU
Summary: Hyukjae has spent a long time adjusting to his way of life. Now, he has to face a change that he never could have expected.
-
Hyukjae is not sure if his calmness is caused by the time that he has had to come to terms with what has happened or if it is because he has not truly processed it at all. He sits by Donghae's hospital bed in silence. Donghae has been unconscious for hours. The doctors had to sedate him in order to set his bones properly. It would take weeks for him to recover, but he would be okay. At least, that's what the doctors said.
There is no telling if Donghae will be okay, Hyukjae thinks. Somehow, miraculously, Donghae was able to pull himself out of a dark time before without the warmth of his friends around him. Hyukjae wonders if he will be able to do the same once again. He wonders if he will be able to help Donghae in the way that he wishes he could have helped him before.
With the broken man lying before him, Hyukjae's previous problems seem so insignificant. He thinks back to the relationship troubles that he was having just earlier in the day and realizes that they are trivial. With that stress out of the way and new stress in place, he thinks clearly now.
Hyukjae knows that Donghae will accept him despite his instabilities. He knows that he will get better and be better with Donghae in his life. He knows that despite everything that has changed, they can still be happy together. Hyukjae can repair his fractured mental state while Donghae repairs his fractured bones and together, they can be whole. And that's really the only thing that matters. And so he waits by Donghae's bedside, confident and scared, with a golden ring comfortably nestled in his pocket.
-
When Donghae wakes, he is disoriented. He does not know what day it is or where he is. He tries to open his eyes but everything is so bright. He blinks a few times before closing his eyes to block out the light.
“It's too bright for him,” a voice says, “somebody close the blinds.”
Donghae hears the sounds of shuffling feet and blinds being fiddled with. When the noises quiet down and the back of his eyelids seem a little darker, Donghae opens his eyes. The first thing that he sees is a familiar face, and then several. He blinks them into focus. Ryeowook, Sungmin, Luna, Sunny, Tiffany, and Hyukjae are all surrounding them. He looks at them, confused.
“How are you feeling?” the gentle voice of Luna asks.
“I...” Donghae starts, feeling fatigue from one simple word, “I hurt.” He pauses while he watches the faces of his friends turn to each other with sympathy, confusion, and fear. He is distracted by the touch of a hand against his own. He turns his head to see Hyukjae looking at him worriedly.
“Do you remember what happened?” Hyukjae asks.
Donghae freezes. He thinks for a moment as the silence of the room surrounds him. His foggy mind clears and he slowly puts all of the missing pieces together. He remembers everything. He grips Hyukjae's hand and then he nods once.
“Where is he?” Donghae asks softly.
“The police took him,” Hyukjae answers, “but it doesn't matter where he is. Just focus on getting better.”
Donghae has so many words to say but he keeps his mouth closed and he nods once more.
“If you need anything...” Sungmin starts, “anything at all... you know we're all here for you.”
Donghae thinks for a moment. “My mom...” he says. “Is she okay?”
Sunny steps forward. “She's fine,” she says. “The hospital called her and she visited while you were sleeping. I... think she left to make you food as soon as she knew you'd be okay.”
Donghae nods. He looks at his friends once more and forces the tiniest of smiles for them because they at least deserve that much for being here and worrying for him. Soon, Donghae starts to feel more pain. His wincing draws in a nearby nurse who administers something to him that has him feeling drowsy. All of the words in his head disperse and the faces in the room grow dark as he is lulled into a sleep of distraction.
-
When Donghae wakes again, he is less disoriented. He has to think for a moment before he remembers where he is and why he is there. He opens his eyes with a little bit of struggling and sees that his room is no longer filled with friends. He turns his head slightly and sees Hyukjae sitting next to his bed with his head bowed and his fingers fiddling tiredly. There is a familiar box that he assumes is a care package that his mother dropped off.
Donghae looks down at his own body. With curiosity and hesitation, he lifts a lethargic hand and touches his own chest. He does not feel any pain but he knows that that does not mean that the pain does not exist. He does not try to move the rest of his body. Instead, he looks at Hyukjae.
“Hyukjae?” He says it weakly but it has Hyukjae's head flying up.
Hyukjae's hand finds Donghae's and he holds it gently. “Donghae,” he says as if he has been waiting to say it for years. “Are you feeling okay?”
Donghae thinks of giving a nod but he isn't really sure if he's allowed to move that much. He looks down at his body again. “How bad am I?” he asks.
There is a moment of silence. Hyukjae bows his head again before he speaks. “Broken rib,” he begins. “Busted knee cap. Concussion. Multiple head wounds. Stomach bruising.” Hyukjae's voice becomes more distraught with each word. His fingers try to rub comfort into Donghae's hand.
Donghae is silent for a while. He thinks about the man who did this to him and, for a moment, he is angry. He considers going after the man for some kind of justice. He considers many dangerous scenarios and risky behavior. Then he realizes that it does not matter now. He grips Hyukjae's hand. Hyukjae looks at him.
“You saved me,” Donghae says softly. Hyukjae freezes and stares at him. “Thank you,” Donghae continues. “If you wouldn't have shown up, I never would have seen you again.”
Hyukjae's eyes are glassy. He uses both of his hands to hold onto Donghae's hand tenderly. “I thought I would lose you again,” he practically whispers.
“But you didn't,” Donghae replies. “And you're not going to.”
Hyukjae looks at Donghae and nods. Just then, the door to the room opens and in steps Donghae's mother. When she sees that Donghae is awake, she rushes over to him. She questions him and delicately pets his face. The sweet concern makes Donghae smile as he assures her that he is okay. She stays for a while, talking and fussing over both Hyukjae and Donghae. The entire time that she is there, Hyukjae and Donghae's hands never separate.
-
Donghae's doctor leaves Donghae's hospital room after telling him that he is able to leave the hospital whenever he is ready. Donghae does not know what to do with this information. Hyukjae would be visiting later in the day but for now, he is alone and ready to leave. He has been recovering quickly using the comfort of Hyukjae and the food from his mother. He would need aid in order to move around for a while and he would have to return to the hospital for physical therapy at a later date but that does not matter. He has been cooped up in the hospital for days and he wants out. He was able to recover physically here but there is some healing that he can only do at home.
Donghae glances across the room. There are a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt folded neatly on a chair in the corner. Hyukjae had brought them for Donghae to come home in. With a great deal of pain, Donghae sits up and puts his legs on the cold floor of his hospital room. Then, after several deep breaths, he stands slowly, using the table beside his bed as a crutch. He balances there for a while, letting himself get used to the feeling of being vertical. Still using the table, he manages to inch forward very slowly. Soon, he reaches the end of the table and must resort to the wall for support. Miraculously, Donghae manages to slide along the wall without hurting himself in the slightest. Although he is a bit shaky, he makes it to the chair. Just as he is reaching for the clothes, the door to the room opens. Donghae is so surprised by the noise that his body jumps and he falls onto the floor. He hears a gasp.
“Donghae!” Hyukjae rushes over and kneels next to Donghae, carefully helping him sit up. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah,” Donghae says. He's smiling. “I'm totally fine, I promise.”
Hyukjae's eyebrows furrow. “Why are you smiling?” he asks.
“Well, I was actually doing just fine until you came in,” Donghae explains. “I only fell because you startled me.”
“Oh,” Hyukjae says, “well, I'm sorry, then.” He pauses. “But I'm really happy to see you smiling again.”
Donghae looks up and sees a fond expression on Hyukjae's face. “It won't be the last time you see me smiling,” he says.
“Good,” replies Hyukjae. “Good.”
-
Donghae is quietly amused by how flustered Hyukjae is. With every corner they turn, Hyukjae seems to create an obstacle for himself. Hyukjae is constantly asking if Donghae is okay or if he's in pain or uncomfortable. From the time they leave the hospital until the time that they arrive at home, Hyukjae is concerned. Donghae finds it irresistibly adorable.
“Can you make it to the door?” Hyukjae asks as they stand on the sidewalk in front of their house. Before Donghae can even respond, he continues. “Will crutches be enough? We probably should have gotten a wheelchair.”
Donghae laughs because Hyukjae is more concerned than he is. “I'm fine,” Donghae assures. “Watch.”
To demonstrate how fine he is, Donghae takes a subtle deep breath and carefully begins to put one crutch in front of the other. With slightly shaky arms and a worried Hyukjae following him with open arms, Donghae makes his way from the sidewalk to the front door.
“That was terrifying,” Hyukjae says with a smile. Donghae takes it as a compliment.
Hyukjae then fumbles with his keys before finally managing to unlock the door and open it. As soon as the door is opened, Donghae's heart drops into his stomach. The last time he had seen that door open, he was struck down. This time, when the door opens, the first thing Donghae sees is his mother's smiling face. Donghae completely forgets about the last time he had seen the door open. After spotting his mother, Donghae looks around and finds all of his friends looking at him with smiles and Hyukjae holding the door open with an unnecessary look of guilt on his face.
“You guys know you don't have to be he-”
“Shut up,” Tiffany interrupts Donghae, “we're here whether you like it or not.”
“And we brought food!” Luna says enthusiastically as she and Sunny subtly gestures to an obscene amount of food spread out on the kitchen table. It is then that Donghae notices that everyone else is holding what appear to be gifts.
“Is it my birthday?” Donghae asks jokingly. He then wonders if it really is his birthday and quickly calculates how long he has been in the hospital.
“No,” Sungmin says as he steps forward, “but it is your first day back from the hospital, so... I got you a back-scratcher that you can also use to scratch any itches under the cast on your leg.” Sungmin shows off the item before handing it to Hyukjae for safe-keeping.
“That's very thoughtful,” Donghae says with genuine amusement.
Tiffany steps up next. “I brought you a basket of goodies from the salon. You're bound to smell awful if you can't get up to shower regularly so I got you some things that smell good.” She leans in and speaks quietly so that only Donghae can hear what she says next. “There's some more of my hair serum in there but it's only because Hyukjae mentioned how much he likes the way it makes you smell. You're welcome.”
“Thank you, Tiffany,” Donghae says as Tiffany sets the gift basket down on chair.
Ryeowook looks around before stepping forward. “This is a, um, book of all of the food places in town that deliver to your door. I figured it'd be easier than making yourself food. I also added a few discount coupons in there.”
“Thanks, Ryeowook,” Donghae says with a genuine smile.
Donghae's mother steps up and touches Donghae's cheek. “You can call me anytime you need me, sweetheart,” she says.
“I know, mom.” Donghae smiles and leans in to kiss his mother on the cheek.
Tiffany starts questioning Donghae about his cast while everyone else mingles and attempts to steal some of Sunny and Luna's food. It is amongst this comfortable chaos that Donghae notices something strange. The living room does not look the same as it had the last time he was here. Instead of a simple couch and table, there is now an entire bed parked in front of the television. Donghae approaches it. He then turns to see Hyukjae standing alone by the door, looking at him with a small smile. Donghae smiles back before he is enveloped in the chaos that has begun to feel a little less comfortable and a little more actually chaotic. Out of the corner of his eye, Donghae sees Hyukjae's smile fall.
“Okay,” Hyukjae says loudly, “time for everyone to go. The patient needs time to rest.”
There is a collective noise of disappointment before Donghae is receiving hugs and well wishes. Soon, everyone is gone, leaving Hyukjae and Donghae alone with a pile of gifts. Donghae looks at Hyukjae. Hyukjae looks at Donghae.
“I guess you noticed that it was a little crowded in here,” Donghae says.
“Yeah,” replies Hyukjae, “it seemed like it was a bit much for you.”
“Good call.” Donghae struggles a little but he manages to sit down on the bed that is now in the living room. “I love them and everything but I think I need some peace and quiet. Also why is the bed in here?”
Hyukjae smiles and makes his way over to sit down next to Donghae. “Well, I was gonna make the bedroom nice and neat but then you'd have to climb up the stairs to get to it and... that wouldn't be right. So instead I brought the bed down here. It's right in front of the TV and I tried to sort of make it equidistant to both the kitchen and the bathroom.”
“You're amazing,” Donghae says even though he feels speechless.
Hyukjae smiles bashfully and looks around. “I guess I better put some of that food in the fridge.” He stands and starts to walk towards the kitchen but Donghae gently reaches for his hand and he stops.
“Sit with me,” Donghae says.
Hyukjae seems almost nervous as he cautiously sits back down and meets Donghae's gaze. And then Donghae leans in and kisses him. It's tender and sweet and it's the first kiss that they've shared since before the attack. Donghae pulls back with a smile but Hyukjae looks stunned.
“How are you not completely destroyed right now?” Hyukjae asks in a careful whisper.
“Because you're trying really hard to keep me from feeling destroyed and you're doing an excellent job of it.” Donghae raises a hand to touch Hyukjae's cheek.
Hyukjae is still stunned but he leans into Donghae's touch and looks at him like he never wants to look away. “If you... need anything,” Hyukjae begins, “anything at all, you can tell me. You deserve to be one hundred percent comfortable and happy.”
“I'll keep that in mind,” Donghae says. “But I'm sure I'll be perfectly happy right here with you.”
Hyukjae freezes and then he leans in to hug Donghae gently but with great adoration. “I don't know what I would have done if...”
Donghae gently pushes Hyukjae back but keeps his hand on Hyukjae's neck. “I'm okay,” he says. “We're both okay. And we're both gonna be okay in the future. So let's focus on being okay instead of thinking about what could have happened.”
Hyukjae nods his head and takes a deep breath. After he lets it out, he smiles at Donghae and leans in to kiss his cheek. “I think now is a good time to eat,” Hyukjae says. “Mostly because if we keep talking, I might cry.”
Hyukjae then heads to the kitchen to prepare some food. Donghae watches with a smile on his face but deep down inside, he feels ever so slightly terrified.
-
Donghae is standing in a long, dark corridor and Hyukjae is on the other end of it. There is a knife to Hyukjae's throat. Donghae desperately wants to run to him but he cannot. Donghae looks down and finds that his legs are gone. When he looks up again, he sees Hyukjae's body lying on the floor.
Donghae wakes up screaming and sitting up and feels Hyukjae's hands holding onto him protectively. “It's okay,” Hyukjae says calmly, as if it's the hundredth time he's said it that night and Donghae thinks that maybe it really is. Donghae tries to breathe calmly but his chest is heaving. He shakily turns to Hyukjae as Hyukjae repeats his word of comfort. Hyukjae's hands move to Donghae's heated cheeks and gently caress them. Donghae presses his forehead against Hyukjae's and leans into him. Hyukjae is breathing just as hard as he is.
The adrenaline from the nightmare mixed with the confusion that comes from his sleepiness and the way Hyukjae is breathing against his lips makes Donghae kiss Hyukjae in the heat of the night. Hyukjae kisses back in a way that feels lazy with sleep but eager with passion. When they naturally pull apart, their breathing is even and their bodies are pressed close together. Hyukjae rakes a hand through Donghae's hair and nudges his nose against his cheek.
“You said that I could tell you if I needed anything,” Donghae says in a raspy voice. Hyukjae moves back to look at Donghae curiously in the darkness. “I need you,” Donghae continues. “I need you more than I've ever needed anything in my life.”
Rather than responding, Hyukjae looks at Donghae briefly before he holds him gently and guides him back down onto the bed. Donghae leans into this embrace and closes his eyes. With Hyukjae's arms around him, Donghae is lulled into a comfortable sleep in a matter of seconds. He sleeps peacefully for the rest of the night while Hyukjae lies awake, protective and silent.
-
When Donghae wakes up the next morning, he finds that Hyukjae is already awake, showered, and walking around in the kitchen. Donghae sits up and adjusts to the aches and pains that he feels all over his body. He takes a few breaths and, as he does, Hyukjae comes to sit beside him. It is in that moment that Donghae remembers kissing Hyukjae in the middle of the night and suddenly his throat feels locked up.
“Good morning,” Hyukjae says. “Want me to make you some coffee? I know you had a rough night.”
“Oh, no thanks,” says Donghae. “I'll probably just go back to bed.”
Hyukjae nods. “That might be a good idea.”
Donghae scratches his head and realizes that he definitely needs a shower but decides to worry about it later. “Do you have to work today?” he asks.
“Yeah.” Hyukjae quickly turns to Donghae. “Unless you need me to stay. I'm sure Ryeowook will understand.”
Donghae smiles. “It's fine,” he says. “Go to work. I don't want you to get fired because of me.”
Hyukjae smiles back. “Okay,” he says before he stands. “Well, your painkillers are on the table and your crutches are next to the bed. You have my number and Ryeowook's number if you need anything. There's plenty of food in the kitchen, too.”
“I feel pampered,” Donghae says with a grin as Hyukjae takes his keys out of his pocket.
Hyukjae fiddles with his keys and smiles. He stops to stare at Donghae for a moment, contemplating, before he takes a step away. “I'll see you when I get home.”
“I'll see you then,” Donghae replies. He watches Hyukjae slowly walk out the door and then his smile falls a little. He looks at his painkillers on the table and his crutches on the floor. He hears the sound of Hyukjae's car starting and leaving. He looks down at his own body and then quickly looks away.
Donghae thinks that he should really go back to bed. He should spend the day eating and sleeping and when Hyukjae gets home, he should mention his need for a bath just to watch Hyukjae offer help and become incredibly flustered. Donghae is still pretty sure he will do the last one but eating and sleeping all day is something that Donghae is not sure that he can do.
Donghae grabs his crutches from the floor and shakily uses them to stand. He carefully eases his way over to the kitchen but before he gets there, he is stopped by the sight of the floor that he had been lying on, bloody and beaten. He shivers and tries his best to stay standing and not vomit. He barely manages to hobble his way past the hallway and into the kitchen. Once there, he feels a little less queasy.
Donghae remembers leaving his phone in the kitchen and finds it right where he left it. Rather than standing with his crutches to make a call, he takes the extra painstaking minute to wrestle himself into a chair. He then dials the number in his mind without hesitation and puts the phone to his ear.
“What do you think you're doing?” comes the voice of an exasperated police captain over the phone. “You know I can't tell you anything.”
“How do you know I wasn't just calling to say hi?” Donghae tries to sound cheerful.
“Because I know you.” The captain sighs. “Look, he was the son of one of the guys we took down. He wasn't really into the 'family business' until his old man died. Then he got some kind of thirst for vengeance and went after anyone who was working on the case. It ended with you.”
“Then who-”
“Donghae, stop. Get some rest. I know you need it.”
Donghae sighs. “Okay,” he says. “Thanks, captain.”
“No problem.” The captain pauses. “You know, the guy had quite the self defense injury from Hyukjae. You're real lucky to have a guy like him.”
Donghae smiles. “I know,” he says. “I know.”
Donghae spends the rest of his day sleeping, eating, and waiting for Hyukjae to come home.
-
Hyukjae comes home to an ever so slightly loopy-on-painkillers Donghae who whines about needing a bath the second Hyukjae comes through the door. Luckily, Donghae is just tired and delusional and numb enough to make it easy for bathing to take place. Unluckily, Donghae is just tired, delusional, and numb enough to make himself basically useless. Hyukjae finds himself trying not to laugh as he watches Donghae blinking blankly into the distance.
“Come on,” Hyukjae says as he helps Donghae up and into the bathroom, “let's get this over with.”
Hyukjae seats Donghae on the toilet as he undresses him. He hesitates when Donghae is left in his underwear but Donghae starts to take them off and Hyukjae is forced to help. Before Hyukjae can even turn the water on, he realizes that Donghae's cast cannot get wet. He quickly fashions a protective casing out of shower caps and tape before he deems Donghae ready for a shower.
Hyukjae had already placed a stool in the bathtub because he knew that Donghae would not be able to stand and bathe. Before Donghae takes a seat, Hyukjae turns the water on and adjusts it to a warm temperature. He then finally helps Donghae climb into the bathtub to sit on the seat.
Although Donghae has been silent and pensive, he immediately groans at the warm water. “This feels awesome,” he says as he lets the water wash over him. It makes Hyukjae wonder what his bathing situation was like inside the hospital.
When Donghae is finally clean, Hyukjae dries him off as much as he can with a towel before helping him get dressed once more. He helps him back to the bed and practically as soon as Donghae's head hits the pillow, he falls asleep. Hyukjae wants to laugh but instead, he makes sure that Donghae is comfortable before he goes about the rest of his evening, tiptoeing around the house with a smile on his face.
-
“Today is the day,” Hyukjae says as Donghae vigorously scratches all around his cast.
“Thank god,” Donghae says in exasperation as he finally manages to scratch the itch that he has been aiming for. “I'm sick of this thing!”
After six weeks of healing, Donghae's cast is finally ready to come off. Donghae is so eager that he barely eats any breakfast before he starts walking out the door to get to the car. Hyukjae grabs a couple of pieces of fruit just in case Donghae gets hungry before they get back. Donghae is giddy for the entire ride and for the walk to the doctor's office. Hyukjae feels like he is traveling with a kid but he finds it so adorable that he stays quiet and simply follows.
The moment that the cast comes off is a joyful one. Donghae makes a strange noise and immediately begins scratching all around the area where the cast had been. The first thing that Hyukjae notices is a rather gross smell from the now open cast and the second thing he notices is the scar that now graces Donghae's kneecap. He makes a mental note to kiss it later after it has been thoroughly cleaned.
“You'll still need to take it easy for a while,” the doctor says. “You shouldn't engage in strenuous activities. You might feel a little bit of soreness but pain shouldn't be a problem anymore. If it is, call me. Congratulations on getting your leg back, Mr. Lee.”
“Thanks, doc!” Donghae says as he fully bends his knee and stares at it in awe.
The doctor leaves the room and Hyukjae stares at Donghae curiously. “You're in way too good of a mood today,” he accuses.
Donghae looks at Hyukjae and blinks a few times before he smiles and stands. “I got my leg back,” he says.
“Yeah,” Hyukjae agrees, “but you're still way too happy. What's wrong with you? Did Luna feed you something weird?”
Donghae grins and hooks an arm around Hyukjae's waist to pull him closer. Hyukjae is startled. Physical contact between the two of them had been minimal because of Donghae's injuries. Hyukjae had been treating Donghae delicately while Donghae had been too delicate to make any moves.
“I'm considering this the day that I'm fully healed,” Donghae says a little more seriously. “I've got my leg, I've got the rest of my body parts, I've got my job to look forward to, I've got friends who I can actually go out and see now, and... I've got you. I've got patient, kind you who's stuck by me this whole time without a single complaint. You're a wonderful man and I'd be insane if I wasn't ecstatic during every second I spend with you.”
Hyukjae is stunned and his heart is beating erratically in his chest. He scrunches his eyebrows as he gathers his words. “Luna definitely fed you something weird,” he says before he starts to walk away.
Donghae knows better. He gently pulls Hyukjae back and into a kiss that Hyukjae accepts so eagerly that it makes him feel a little bit silly for even considering trying to walk away before. When Hyukjae pulls away, he finds that his fingers have wound themselves in Donghae's growing hair and Donghae's smile is so genuine that it makes him melt.
“Why don't you say what you were really thinking?” Donghae says because somewhere, perhaps in the car on the way to the hospital or many nights ago while they were lying in each other's arms, Donghae had found every piece of Hyukjae that he had ever lost.
Hyukjae swallows nervously. He then takes a curt breath and exhales. “I would have stayed by you without a single complaint even if your leg was lost forever. I think you are insane just for being with me but... I'm pretty glad that, somehow, you are with me. Also, I'm still pretty sure that Luna fed you something weird.”
Donghae smiles and kisses Hyukjae again. “Let's go home,” he says. Hyukjae has no argument for going home so he smiles back and follows Donghae out of the hospital.
Donghae's good mood is infectious, apparently, because on the car ride home, Hyukjae joins along in singing every song that comes on the radio. Donghae is louder and more enthusiastic about the songs but Hyukjae certainly gives them his all.
As soon as they reach home, Donghae practically hops out of the car. Hyukjae almost reminds him to take it easy but the way that Donghae smiles at him before gently jogging to the door leaves Hyukjae's words in his throat. Hyukjae has the keys so he follows Donghae to the door and fishes them out of his pocket. As he tries to find the right key, Donghae slides his arms around his waist from behind and nuzzles his face against his neck.
“What are you doing?” Hyukjae asks as he finds that it is now much more difficult to find the right key.
“Just... passing the time,” Donghae says casually as he rubs Hyukjae's sides.
Hyukjae finds the action ticklish but the touch is warm and he does not want it to go away. He miraculously finds the right key and practically barrels inside. Before he can even turn around, the door is already closed behind him and Donghae is in front of him, grinning.
“Seriously, what is wrong with you?” Hyukjae asks with laughter in every word.
“Absolutely nothing,” Donghae says before he leans in and gives Hyukjae the smallest, sweetest peck on the lips. It practically drives Hyukjae wild.
Hyukjae pulls Donghae forward by the back of his neck and kisses him. Donghae is still grinning as they kiss and it makes Hyukjae smile as well. Neither of them can help the giggly mood that envelopes them as they dance around in the hallway, exchanging sweet kisses. When Donghae subtly pulls both of them towards the bed, it makes Hyukjae stop. Donghae pulls away and blinks at him.
“What's wrong?” Donghae asks.
Hyukjae shakes his head at first but then he stops and looks at Donghae. “This isn't right,” he says. Donghae looks concerned but Hyukjae does not give him time to speak. “I'll be right back.”
Hyukjae leaves a confused Donghae in the living room while he runs upstairs to his room. He practically rips open the bottom drawer of his dresser and reaches into the back. He pulls out a very specific black sock and finds just what he is looking for stuffed inside of it. He charges back downstairs and, out of breath, he finds Donghae sitting on the bed, looking a little dejected. Hyukjae smiles sheepishly and walks over to him.
“Sorry,” he says. He nudges Donghae's good knee with his own and Donghae looks up at him with his sad puppy eyes. “Can you... sit with me for a minute? I need to say something.”
“Sure,” Donghae says, suddenly less sad and more alert. He takes off his shoes and then backs onto the bed and gets into a comfortable position. Hyukjae removes his shoes as well and joins him. He wants to be close to Donghae so he sits across from him and then moves in close and gently places his own legs over Donghae's so that he is practically sitting in his lap. Donghae happily accepts the contact by immediately putting his hands on Hyukjae's legs.
Hyukjae smiles a little nervously and then looks at Donghae seriously. “I love you,” he says. Donghae's smile falls and his eyes widen. “Don't look so surprised... it's totally obvious. It's obvious, Donghae, that I never stopped loving you.” Hyukjae then looks down at his closed palm. He opens it, revealing a ring. He holds it out to Donghae. “I bought this the day that you ended up in the hospital. I was on my way home to tell you that I loved you but I never got the chance. And, earlier today, when I was saying that Luna fed you something weird after you said all of those nice things to me, I was just panicking. What I wanted to say... what I've wanted to say to you countless times is that... I love you. I honestly, really do, and, more than anything, I want you to love me back and put this ring on my finger.”
Donghae is still wide-eyed as all of these words sink in. He looks from Hyukjae's sincere and slightly terrified face to the golden ring in his trembling hand. Donghae smiles. He reaches out and gently takes the ring from Hyukjae. He then takes Hyukjae's left hand and slides the ring onto the finger that his wedding ring had been on before.
“Of course I love you back,” Donghae says rather shakily. “I've been wanting to tell you that since the second I came back from the dead.”
Hyukjae laughs at that. He laughs because the sentence is strange. He laughs because he is relieved. He laughs because it takes away the tension that he feels. He laughs because he is in love. When Hyukjae is done laughing, he wraps his arms around Donghae and hugs him tightly.
“I love you,” Hyukjae says again just because he can. It sounds so soft and sweet and genuine that Donghae separates himself from Hyukjae only to connect again in a kiss.
“I love you, too,” Donghae says against Hyukjae's lips.
It feels unreal for them to finally be saying those words to each other. In that moment, each of them accept each other. They accept that they are broken people who may never be the same as they once were. They accept the emotional and physical injuries that they have sustained and afflicted. They accept that nothing is perfect.
-
The ceremony is small and intimate. Close friends and family gather to watch Hyukjae and Donghae renew their vows to one another. It is full of joy and a few happy tears. But the ceremony is not the most important part of the day. At least, not to Donghae and Hyukjae. The reception takes place afterward with special catering from Luna and Sunny. Seven friends sit around a familiar table that might as well be the eighth. They laugh, they eat, they drink, and they enjoy the company of one another. This is joy to Donghae and Hyukjae. This is the most important part of the day.
Donghae proudly nuzzles himself against Hyukjae while Hyukjae has an excited conversation with Tiffany about some TV show that Donghae has never even heard of. They are all smiling and blissful but Donghae thinks that he is the most blissful of them all. No matter how tragic the events in his life had been, the happiness he feels in this moment makes it seem like there is no tragedy in the world at all.
“Hey,” Hyukjae says just to Donghae when his conversation is finished, “what're you doing?”
“Being happy,” Donghae says as he loops his arm with Hyukjae's and laces their fingers together.
“Oh,” says Hyukjae, “what a coincidence, I am, too.”
They grin at each other in a way that's so overly adoring that their friends find it sickening. Neither of them notice the eye rolls or groans because they are too busy staring adoringly at each other. In the midst of all of this happiness, Donghae's phone buzzes in his pocket and he just barely manages to tear himself away from Hyukjae long enough to take it out and look at it. When he does, his face falls.
“What is it?” Hyukjae asks, his hand still linked with Donghae's.
“It's the station,” says Donghae, “they need me to come in. It's urgent.”
“Urgent enough for you to miss your own wedding reception for?” asks Tiffany rather bitterly, probably because she does not want Donghae's hair to get ruined.
“Don't go,” Luna instantly whines.
“You've barely touched your dessert!” Sunny chimes in.
Ryeowook and Sungmin vaguely mumble something resembling protest but they are too wrapped up in something interesting on Sungmin's phone for either of them to actually participate in the conversation.
“I have to go,” says Donghae regretfully, “but I definitely won't miss out on next Friday.” An audible group of sighs fills the room.
As Hyukjae leans into Donghae, he decides to speak up. “Donghae is important and smart and, although it's not relevant now, ruggedly handsome, and the station would be lost without him. We just have to lend him out for a while.”
Donghae grins as he turns to Hyukjae. “You're the best,” he says.
“I know,” replies Hyukjae. “No go before someone kidnaps you and keeps you here.”
“Okay,” Donghae says but as he leans in to give Hyukjae a goodbye kiss, he stops and speaks quietly. “You know, it is kind of like our wedding night so, um, keep the bed warm for me.”
Hyukjae chuckles. “I was already planning on it.”
Donghae grins and leans in for his goodbye kiss once more. He succeeds this time and Hyukjae kisses back with enthusiasm. When they part, Donghae feels the sigh that leaves Hyukjae's lips but he knows that it is a sigh of longing rather than one of disappointment.
“I'll be back before you know it,” Donghae promises. Hyukjae smiles in return.
As Donghae reluctantly parts and Hyukjae feels glad that he has his friends to distract him from seeing Donghae leave, the two of them are still content. A terrible event once buried their love and although it took another terrible event to unearth that love once more, neither of them has regrets. Donghae has scars but he would endure a million more if it meant never being separated from Hyukjae again. Hyukjae's mind has been destroyed by pain but he would go through any pain in order to keep Donghae by his side.
Donghae comes back to Hyukjae that night. And he comes back to him every night after that.