[dated October 30]

[poison_lipstick]

It was Friday afternoon, which normally would have meant Saffron would be at the club, either catching up on the bookkeeping or practicing something for her routine. But the club was closed, had been closed for 24 hours now, and that meant Saffron had nothing to do

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[saikamai]

Cuthbert had showed up for his usual shift the day before, taking for granted that it'd be business as usual at the CSC, as it had been for nearly a year now, since he'd started helping out on Lloyd's shifts. It was funny to Bert; bartending was the kind of work he never would've had a chance to do at home, too low, unseemly for a gunslinger, and so it had an immediate appeal. And as it turned out, he was good at it: good with engaging folks in conversation, sharp at memorizing cocktails and quick to invent new ones when people were indecisive, and over the last few months he'd really begun to settle into the job. Without training and classes, all he had left was the IPD and the ITF, and the Catscatch was a welcome change from all that. He'd learned a few card tricks, stashed a few of Lloyd's more modern jokes up his sleeve, and started to really feel comfortable behind the bar. The staff of the Catscratch was cozy in a way Bert theorized you really couldn't get unless your daily grind involving knicker-flinging, and he felt as much

[poison_lipstick]

Saffron shook her head. "You're fine, honey," she replied. He seemed liked he had something on his mind, and she wondered if he'd been looking for her. "How are you?"

[saikamai]

"I'm all right," he said, and after a moment, sank down into the sand on his rear. "Stopped by your hut and the club looking for you, and I found you here." But now that he was here, he felt reluctant to bother her-- she probably just wanted to be left alone for awhile, and the club was likely the last thing she wanted to talk about.

He chewed on the inside of his cheek for a second, debating whether to make something up and drop the whole thing, or actually bring it up.

[poison_lipstick]

So he had been looking for her. Saffron was rutting good at reading people as it was, and it was even easier with Cuthbert, who'd never been all that good at hiding his emotions or what he was thinking. "So you were looking for me, and you found me," she said, sitting up and bending her legs slightly at the knee, then draping her arms loosely around them. "Was there some particular reason you wanted to see me?"

[saikamai]

Sometimes he forgot himself around her. She could read him like a backwards poker hand, of course she could, she'd done it before. And it wasn't like he was being terribly careful to begin with, here. He gave her a small, slightly shamed smile.

"Yeah," he admitted. "There was. Look... Helen. I'm so sorry about Warrick." He reached for her hand and clapped it between his, careful to look out at the horizon as much as at her. "I can't even imagine how you must be feeling now. Truth be told, I'd heard about folk coming and going from the island, of course; I've seen people crying outside of huts and in the compound once they've realized someone they love has gone, but I'd not had it happen to anyone terribly close until the last few months. Cort, who was a mixed bag for me, as you well know, but from my world. Family in an extremely stretched but nevertheless true sense of the word. And Lyra, too, who... well, we parted on bad terms, and I feel totally lost about it now. We were really close once." He swallowed, and regripped her hand

[poison_lipstick]

Saffron swallowed down the lump that was threatening to form and managed a faint smile for Cuthbert. "Thank you, honey," she replied softly, squeezing his hand. "And I'm sorry too, for Cort, and Lyra. For everyone we've lost. I reckon that's just one of those things we'll never get used to, no matter how long we're here."

Every time someone Saffron cared about disappeared, it reminded her of why she'd never had any close ties back home, out in the black. But here, after so much time on the island, it was like she couldn't go back, not unless she wanted to distance herself from everyone and live like a hermit. Because for all the folks that disappeared, there were always still more remaining who she'd grown to care about, folks she was protective of and close to.

[saikamai]

Bert leaned against her a little and thought for the millionth time how strange his life was, and what kind of weird lottery they'd all won by coming here. He wasn't real religious by nature; as a rule Gilead proper hadn't been a hotbed of spiritual practice (it was usually the poorer folks to clung to the old traditions) but he'd been raised to know his Guardians and to understand ka. He'd been something of a skeptic in the most teenaged sense of the word before he came to the island, but his time here had given him a new perspective on the great Unknown, even warmed him a little to the idea.

"It isn't any different than back home, of course. You can't ever count on anything. The island just takes it to a new extreme, and I think folk here live the better for it," he said softly. "We all appreciate each other more. There's only three hundred people on this island, Helen, give or take a few, and I've seen more weddings in the last six months..." He laughed, shaking his head. Then he sighed and squeezed her hand again. "You know you

[poison_lipstick]

Saffron smiled fondly at Cuthbert and leaned over to press a kiss to his cheek. "I know," she replied, "and I appreciate that. That goes both ways, too; you boys are welcome at my place anytime you want to stop by." Once upon a time, those words from Saffron's lips would have been purely sexual every time, but not anymore. She valued Cuthbert and Alain's friendship and company.

[saikamai]

Cuthbert leaned into the kiss, squeezing his eyes shut cartoonishly. "You're much too sweet for a woman that dances like you do, you know that, right?" He regarded her from beneath his eyebrows. "You've got to work on cultivating a femme fatale streak, or something." Bert grinned and nudged her a little.

[poison_lipstick]

"I know, I get that all the time," Saffron said with a mock-serious look and a nod. "I'm just too sweet for my own good." She held the serious expression for a moment longer, then smirked and nudged him back.