1st day of non-Stop & Shop job
Well of course yesterday wasn;t as bad as i thought it would be as i thought it would be sweating and twisting and turning all night. I came in an hour early, because they told me the wrong time, and was relieved like ya I' sooooo rather be late then early, and did a few boring erands like gas, but ultimately they distracted me and calmed me down and of course the oh so beautiful radio, and I went in at 10, and just mostly filled out boring tax worksheets...w4, and listened to this women named Linda Hummer, trying not to smurk when she said hummer, because of course my mind thought of the type of blow job before the car....haha hummer in sin city...but yeah she was really serious, i caught on to that instantly, so I was as silent as a mouse and smiled and acted as professional as Kk possibly can, tried intensly hard not to figet,..yes over the boring but easy part done and even better got a 2 hour break from my boss who is really really nice, Im already really fond of her and feel totally comfortable around her,. Sarah. I went over to Evans for as bit and watched rapped videos with him Beeb and Jon and had our usual funny conversations,,good times and even got to see Steph for a bit. I dont know her that well but I really like her, and shes one of those people you don;t have to see in moderation, like Jon and Beeb, she has that easy-going personality type. Back to work around 2, I could feel myself getting nervous again as I said goodbye....what does the rest of the afternoon have intact for me?...wrong again i got to talk to Darcy another employeer im already really fond of and we talked about the afterschool program ill be working in, and was really friendly and easy going made everything seem easier.." I can do this". after she explained all of that, and even said I can look at all the files on the clients that go there, diagnosis,...thinking to myself 'yay I can be informed and be noisey without having to be sneaky"..thats a first..ha. After the hardest part came to go with Sarah to a house in Bedford where id be doing Family support, i,e taking care of this girl for a few hours on weekday afternoons,..today ill be there 3 to 6..not to long., so i wont get overwhelmed. I really, really liked this girl Elizabeth, she had an imagination..seemed to be mildly mentally retarded and had some behavior problems in the past. She was shy around me, of course why wouldnt she be?> I introduced myself and got to know her a little it, and was excited when I came to find she has a kareoke machine, has an interest in rappers and medeival stuff...so im starting to think of stuff we can do,...that are actually educational to..thats the hard part. I want to abide by her mothers rules ( she came off as stricter then expected)...but at least shes motivating her kid, I just hope shes not gonna expect me to be all educational for three hours, theres gotta at least be 1 hour of fun..i mean come on when I was in school id at least wait a couple of hours before just jumping in to homework, thats no fun the poor girl needs a fun break..like some "Shoulder Lean". ;;thinks of Even and Beeb.::., so im gonna try to structure it out like she said and get the educational part in, hell i'll learn from it at least and yeah ive always wanted to be smarter. So yeah im just hoping to have fun with her, communicate be the "kool" one, I want to be like that one babysitter I had when I was 5, that was fun but had structure and productive activities and of course snack time, thats something I have to be careful about not giving her junk food, since its not allowed "think yogurt and pbj;s".I guess shes diabetic and likes to eat foods that shouldnt be eaten liek raw/old foods,,,in order words shes like me when im drunk and hungry and will eat things I normally wouldnt find at all appealing...but the perfect solution to raw fish FUCKING SUSHI...she said she gives her that sometimes.
My only worry is doing something to piss the mother off that is avoidable but is too late,, so I just gotta be kool, and add my ideas, if she doesnt like the activity oh well at least i tried,,,thats my problem getting discouraged all the time..ill do my best to deal with her..even the boss said she can be alittle difficult sometimes but she wont be there all the time...observing me. I mean it is so she can go out and do her own things and have time to herself. Today will be the main observational day. Im not gonna act like im getting judge like a fucking swimsuit contest, im gonna act professional but at the same time laid back for the kids sake so she can be comfortable around me. I CAN DO THIS ;;CONFIDENCE::....
Of course im gonna have the 'Starting new job" nerves, but I like it, its more exciting then stop and shop days will be different, less exhausted, and ill get weekends off when I want them :), and of course better money and so far alot of people there are real chill, havent met people I didnt like..hell even close. I think the only hard part is is getting into the more professional state of mind, as opposed to fucking stop and shop swearing and talking filthy with co-workers, eating out of the case, and not having to care about my appearance and being able to go to work hungover, partially intoxicated. I'll miss that aspect of course but this professional thing wont change my out of work personality..hell no I couldnt if I want to, it;ll just be waiting to be "unedited" at the end of the day and im sure once I get to know these people more will be more comfortable to have more joking/ellborate conversations and saturdays and sundays will be reserved for hangovers..hell thats what they should be for...fuck all those weekends taken at stop and shop at least here I get the option and I told them Id be willing to do a few hours some weekends, hell more loot.
Time for work, and the other good thing it will get my Mind of a certaIN person, i Know that much Yesterday at 10...I started to act juevenile again and realized how ludicris/ridiculos it is...putting up that defense mechanism, if he comes kool if not oh well...im trying....I just want to act normal like how I was when I 1st met him not all anxious and like I have to be 'perfect" like I am now its silly and he probably catches on to it...I just hope he at least talks to me like a friend im not expecting fucking Shakesphere...hopefully he was quiet because of somethign entirely different...
My only worry is doing something to piss the mother off that is avoidable but is too late,, so I just gotta be kool, and add my ideas, if she doesnt like the activity oh well at least i tried,,,thats my problem getting discouraged all the time..ill do my best to deal with her..even the boss said she can be alittle difficult sometimes but she wont be there all the time...observing me. I mean it is so she can go out and do her own things and have time to herself. Today will be the main observational day. Im not gonna act like im getting judge like a fucking swimsuit contest, im gonna act professional but at the same time laid back for the kids sake so she can be comfortable around me. I CAN DO THIS ;;CONFIDENCE::....
Of course im gonna have the 'Starting new job" nerves, but I like it, its more exciting then stop and shop days will be different, less exhausted, and ill get weekends off when I want them :), and of course better money and so far alot of people there are real chill, havent met people I didnt like..hell even close. I think the only hard part is is getting into the more professional state of mind, as opposed to fucking stop and shop swearing and talking filthy with co-workers, eating out of the case, and not having to care about my appearance and being able to go to work hungover, partially intoxicated. I'll miss that aspect of course but this professional thing wont change my out of work personality..hell no I couldnt if I want to, it;ll just be waiting to be "unedited" at the end of the day and im sure once I get to know these people more will be more comfortable to have more joking/ellborate conversations and saturdays and sundays will be reserved for hangovers..hell thats what they should be for...fuck all those weekends taken at stop and shop at least here I get the option and I told them Id be willing to do a few hours some weekends, hell more loot.
Time for work, and the other good thing it will get my Mind of a certaIN person, i Know that much Yesterday at 10...I started to act juevenile again and realized how ludicris/ridiculos it is...putting up that defense mechanism, if he comes kool if not oh well...im trying....I just want to act normal like how I was when I 1st met him not all anxious and like I have to be 'perfect" like I am now its silly and he probably catches on to it...I just hope he at least talks to me like a friend im not expecting fucking Shakesphere...hopefully he was quiet because of somethign entirely different...