(no subject)
You cut?..damn I love mine and Jonnys conversations.....
Ive been more nervous today then usual. I felt like my head was gonna explode about halfway through the day, because I start my new job tommorow and I want to be kool and not say anything stupid, and that I can handle it. I want to be done with Stop and Shop for good, I would be sooooo sad If I ever had to go back and basically feel like a failure at life. I always overreact, and if that would happen it would be the opportunity, at least it would be more legitimate. I just gotta not think about it, just chill out,...things just go when you don;t think/stress about them. I notice that more and more. I just want to succeed I want to be good, I can;t have it all but thats important to me,..I can;t have you....thats certain...This crush is like one of those coughs you get that won;t go away, no matter how much medicine you take it may temporarily go away but it abruptly comes back...its a bad one...the nicer they are the worse they are. Thank god I think about alot of things and have rushy thoughts, it actually comes in handy sometimes....it just comes back to what i dont want it to. Makes me feel so juevenile, its like wtf im 21? I think my increased anxiety is just causing me to be more obsessive about it, and it will eventually go away it will. i guess the only problem is is you have to WANT it to, and ya thats another patience factor....ill get impatient eventually and give up...finally realize its not worth the stress.. I lost the 'game." ..stop trying.
Trying not be complainy.no one wants to hear about complaints...hell im writing it and I don;t...like a bunch of complains too much its fucking annoying to me.
I have to go to bed im going back to dreamland..probably wont be as good as last night..;;tisk, tisk.
Ive been more nervous today then usual. I felt like my head was gonna explode about halfway through the day, because I start my new job tommorow and I want to be kool and not say anything stupid, and that I can handle it. I want to be done with Stop and Shop for good, I would be sooooo sad If I ever had to go back and basically feel like a failure at life. I always overreact, and if that would happen it would be the opportunity, at least it would be more legitimate. I just gotta not think about it, just chill out,...things just go when you don;t think/stress about them. I notice that more and more. I just want to succeed I want to be good, I can;t have it all but thats important to me,..I can;t have you....thats certain...This crush is like one of those coughs you get that won;t go away, no matter how much medicine you take it may temporarily go away but it abruptly comes back...its a bad one...the nicer they are the worse they are. Thank god I think about alot of things and have rushy thoughts, it actually comes in handy sometimes....it just comes back to what i dont want it to. Makes me feel so juevenile, its like wtf im 21? I think my increased anxiety is just causing me to be more obsessive about it, and it will eventually go away it will. i guess the only problem is is you have to WANT it to, and ya thats another patience factor....ill get impatient eventually and give up...finally realize its not worth the stress.. I lost the 'game." ..stop trying.
Trying not be complainy.no one wants to hear about complaints...hell im writing it and I don;t...like a bunch of complains too much its fucking annoying to me.
I have to go to bed im going back to dreamland..probably wont be as good as last night..;;tisk, tisk.