(no subject)
so i'm up late again... but no school tomorrow thank god. i've been sitting here thinking a lot about my life. people lately have all been telling me that i cannot move to california. i laugh and ask why... i have yet to find a real answer. people saying they'll miss me makes me sad and all. and if you're dumb enough to believe that maybe you should ask me what movie i watched this weekend and how much of it i spent crying. and then ask me how the rest of the night went after that... and try to tell me i'm not an emotional person. i really do care about the people in my life here, and there's a lotta people i'm gonna miss. so for people who think a move is "bad" for me... here's some reasons why i want... no, why i NEED this move. i shall even put it in bullets for easy reading.
first off, i want you to clear your mind of any previous reason you thought i wanted to move. i can think of one that i've heard about 30 times, it's not why. it was a plus, sure, and i was looking forward to it. but due to things i cannot change, that reason isn't valid any longer anyway. so now, you can go on.
-an easy one to start off with: the ocean, duh. i've been in love with the ocean since i was in 2nd grade. i have loved reading about the ocean... from single-celled creatures to whales to tides and beyond. having seen it a few times in these past years, i have fallen deeply and completely in love with everything about it... the wildlife aspect of course, just ask me to talk about fish tanks and the like, but also just the atmosphere of it. whether it's at a warm sandy beach, or a cooler, windy and rocky shore. i love it all. i have to be near it.
-second, the lower humdity of california makes the heat so much more enjoyable. when its 80 here, you just wanna sit in front of an air conditioner with some ice water cuz its so damn sticky. you take away that humidity, the heat is amazing. it just warms you up, without all the damn sweat. its a great feeling.
-also, there's mountains. i loved the mountains. sure, i have a problem with heights. but looking over the sides of the giant hills and seeing so far out over all the beautiful little towns and big cities.. and maybe even the best part if you can see part of a bay, which is probly the most beautiful thing i've EVER laid eyes on... and even the mountains themselves have their own kind of beauty that you just don't find anywhere here. now don't get me wrong, i couldn't stand being out in the middle of nowhere... but that's the thing, it wasn't the middle of nowhere. there were cities all around. and no matter all the shit you hear about polution and whatever other bad things you hear about the cities there, most of them are just plain amazing.
-so on to probly the most important part of california. i need this move for me. for my own personal growth and well being. although many would disagree, including my mom's whole side of the family, i need to get away from being surrounded by christians. i take a very different point of view on all that belief that you should surround yourself with that. first of all, i'm not too sure i believe any of that any more. second, if i did believe it, how is surrounding yourself by other people who believe in the same thing as you carrying out your mission to god? arent you supposed to "go and make disciples of all nations"? not just sit in a safe little place where you don't have to have your beliefs questioned and challenged? sure some people really do go on mission trips and share their faith to non-believers. more power to people who actually get off their asses and put themselves out there no matter what the stakes, for whatever they beleive. and that includes more than just christianity or even religion, that goes for any sort of beliefs or feelings. anyway, in my experience, shutting someone up in christian schools their whole lives and forcing them into church and sunday school isn't good at all for the person, and isn't much better than brain washing. mind you, all this is not purely religious stuff. it's political too, because religions are pretty straight-forward about what they do and don't believe in politics. which can go into the whole separation of church and state that i won't now or ever go into, save that people need to look up the word "separate" in any form in any dictionary. they don't seem to graps that whole thing. so as i was saying, i don't know what i believe any more. and i think that's good. i'm glad i'm really questioning what i believe.. not just saying "sure i've thought about it" but not really taking the time to learn about what's out there.. and actually read what i've been taught i believe. i think that people are too shut out of the world. and these days, with internet, tv, and a million other ways to get info, i can see why people are misinformed, but not why people choose to remain completely uninformed. how, with all that we have these days, can you not at least know a little about what's going on? even if you get the wrong info from a bad source, at least it's some info. these people who don't know shit about anything are the problem in this world. if anything's really gonna be done about who's "supposed" to be in offices from governors to senators to the president himself, then we need to get out there and DO SOMETHING. not just sit on our asses and bitch about it a little in our gov. class. and i do admit, i don't do as much as i should, but i'm trying to be better. so please people, if you wanna be "American," then show it! people need to get outta their houses, and outta their little towns, and see the world for what it is. it can change your view. and if you stick with what you believe, or find some other belief, don't you think it would make you feel that much better? and that much more relieved that you know you're right. and maybe it'll help you realize you need to help other people "see the light" or however you wanna put it. now i dont want people to say "dave hates that he grew up like he did and wishes he hadn't" and then keep going with that and say i'm not thankful for what i have. first of all, no one is completely 100% happy with everything. if you are, well, please enlighten me. and sure, i'm not as happy and thankful as i should be. but people deal with situations differently. i am thankful for everyone who's been is or still is in my life and has made me who i am. if i wasn't, maybe i'd have been stuck in MI forever being one of those people that i've grown to wish i could help out. or maybe i'd be some dumbass with no future, who knows. either way, i'm glad for where i am right now, and where i'm going with my life. and for all my former and current friends and family, i'm very thankful. but i need this change, and maybe you all should think about a change too. get out there, see what there is. really consider that "liberal education" that you get sick to death of hearing about in colleges. open your mind, learn about politics and religions and whatever else, see things from different view points even if you don't agree with them. it's good for you. it will strengthen you whether in what you had or what you discovered. and maybe you'll say that i don't need something like this, i mean after all i can learn all that stuff right here at home. but i really can't. there's too many connections here than i don't think i could simply ignore or walk away from or whatever. i need a change and i need to start completely new. i'm sick of not knowing. i wanna learn more about everything, and that's what i'm gonna do. so go ahead and say i can't move. even say i'm not gonna make it cuz i'm too lazy or not good enough or not smart enough or whatever the hell you want. i've heard it all from my own parents and the rest of my family. so you can't do me much more damage than has already been done. so be open, talk to me. be an ass hole to me about it if you feel you have to, i'm open and i won't be an ass hole back, i promise. sorry it was so long, but please read all of it if you read any of it, then you can really get where i'm coming from in all this. thanks, bye.
first off, i want you to clear your mind of any previous reason you thought i wanted to move. i can think of one that i've heard about 30 times, it's not why. it was a plus, sure, and i was looking forward to it. but due to things i cannot change, that reason isn't valid any longer anyway. so now, you can go on.
-an easy one to start off with: the ocean, duh. i've been in love with the ocean since i was in 2nd grade. i have loved reading about the ocean... from single-celled creatures to whales to tides and beyond. having seen it a few times in these past years, i have fallen deeply and completely in love with everything about it... the wildlife aspect of course, just ask me to talk about fish tanks and the like, but also just the atmosphere of it. whether it's at a warm sandy beach, or a cooler, windy and rocky shore. i love it all. i have to be near it.
-second, the lower humdity of california makes the heat so much more enjoyable. when its 80 here, you just wanna sit in front of an air conditioner with some ice water cuz its so damn sticky. you take away that humidity, the heat is amazing. it just warms you up, without all the damn sweat. its a great feeling.
-also, there's mountains. i loved the mountains. sure, i have a problem with heights. but looking over the sides of the giant hills and seeing so far out over all the beautiful little towns and big cities.. and maybe even the best part if you can see part of a bay, which is probly the most beautiful thing i've EVER laid eyes on... and even the mountains themselves have their own kind of beauty that you just don't find anywhere here. now don't get me wrong, i couldn't stand being out in the middle of nowhere... but that's the thing, it wasn't the middle of nowhere. there were cities all around. and no matter all the shit you hear about polution and whatever other bad things you hear about the cities there, most of them are just plain amazing.
-so on to probly the most important part of california. i need this move for me. for my own personal growth and well being. although many would disagree, including my mom's whole side of the family, i need to get away from being surrounded by christians. i take a very different point of view on all that belief that you should surround yourself with that. first of all, i'm not too sure i believe any of that any more. second, if i did believe it, how is surrounding yourself by other people who believe in the same thing as you carrying out your mission to god? arent you supposed to "go and make disciples of all nations"? not just sit in a safe little place where you don't have to have your beliefs questioned and challenged? sure some people really do go on mission trips and share their faith to non-believers. more power to people who actually get off their asses and put themselves out there no matter what the stakes, for whatever they beleive. and that includes more than just christianity or even religion, that goes for any sort of beliefs or feelings. anyway, in my experience, shutting someone up in christian schools their whole lives and forcing them into church and sunday school isn't good at all for the person, and isn't much better than brain washing. mind you, all this is not purely religious stuff. it's political too, because religions are pretty straight-forward about what they do and don't believe in politics. which can go into the whole separation of church and state that i won't now or ever go into, save that people need to look up the word "separate" in any form in any dictionary. they don't seem to graps that whole thing. so as i was saying, i don't know what i believe any more. and i think that's good. i'm glad i'm really questioning what i believe.. not just saying "sure i've thought about it" but not really taking the time to learn about what's out there.. and actually read what i've been taught i believe. i think that people are too shut out of the world. and these days, with internet, tv, and a million other ways to get info, i can see why people are misinformed, but not why people choose to remain completely uninformed. how, with all that we have these days, can you not at least know a little about what's going on? even if you get the wrong info from a bad source, at least it's some info. these people who don't know shit about anything are the problem in this world. if anything's really gonna be done about who's "supposed" to be in offices from governors to senators to the president himself, then we need to get out there and DO SOMETHING. not just sit on our asses and bitch about it a little in our gov. class. and i do admit, i don't do as much as i should, but i'm trying to be better. so please people, if you wanna be "American," then show it! people need to get outta their houses, and outta their little towns, and see the world for what it is. it can change your view. and if you stick with what you believe, or find some other belief, don't you think it would make you feel that much better? and that much more relieved that you know you're right. and maybe it'll help you realize you need to help other people "see the light" or however you wanna put it. now i dont want people to say "dave hates that he grew up like he did and wishes he hadn't" and then keep going with that and say i'm not thankful for what i have. first of all, no one is completely 100% happy with everything. if you are, well, please enlighten me. and sure, i'm not as happy and thankful as i should be. but people deal with situations differently. i am thankful for everyone who's been is or still is in my life and has made me who i am. if i wasn't, maybe i'd have been stuck in MI forever being one of those people that i've grown to wish i could help out. or maybe i'd be some dumbass with no future, who knows. either way, i'm glad for where i am right now, and where i'm going with my life. and for all my former and current friends and family, i'm very thankful. but i need this change, and maybe you all should think about a change too. get out there, see what there is. really consider that "liberal education" that you get sick to death of hearing about in colleges. open your mind, learn about politics and religions and whatever else, see things from different view points even if you don't agree with them. it's good for you. it will strengthen you whether in what you had or what you discovered. and maybe you'll say that i don't need something like this, i mean after all i can learn all that stuff right here at home. but i really can't. there's too many connections here than i don't think i could simply ignore or walk away from or whatever. i need a change and i need to start completely new. i'm sick of not knowing. i wanna learn more about everything, and that's what i'm gonna do. so go ahead and say i can't move. even say i'm not gonna make it cuz i'm too lazy or not good enough or not smart enough or whatever the hell you want. i've heard it all from my own parents and the rest of my family. so you can't do me much more damage than has already been done. so be open, talk to me. be an ass hole to me about it if you feel you have to, i'm open and i won't be an ass hole back, i promise. sorry it was so long, but please read all of it if you read any of it, then you can really get where i'm coming from in all this. thanks, bye.