Footsteps in the Desert: Chapter 6
Title: Footsteps in the Desert: Chapter 6
Author: poetics124/Poetics124
Rating: R
Pairing: S/U
Summary: Spock's journey from a confused young adult to a Federation hero was a long one. Being in love was somewhat more complicated.
Disclaimer: Star Trek belongs to Paramount
*****
2257: Second Semester
“You are late again, Miss Uhura.”
Cadet Uhura put down her work satchel in his office and quickly sat down in front of his desk. She looked exhausted and worn down, a small strand of her hair framing the side of her face.
“I’m sorry Commander Spock. I apologize for my lateness.”
“This is the third time in two weeks, Cadet.”
“I understand sir.”
“Your duty as my aide was given to you with the strict understanding of your duties. You were given this position over many fourth year cadets who applied. I do not wish for you to lose your place due to a lack of responsibility nor give you demerits due to your inability to observe time.”
Cadet Uhura nodded her head in agreement. “It will not happen again sir. I value the opportunity that has been given me.”
Spock eyes went back down to his PADD and Uhura reached down into her satchel to retrieve hers. They graded reports in silence and on the sound of their breathing entering his ears.
Spock twitched his head slightly at the sound of her breathing. It was…different today. It was not the easy breathing that he had become accustomed to in their time together but instead her breathing was slightly harsher and harder than normal as if connected to physical exertion. It was distracting.
“Cadet Uhura, your breathing is abnormal.”
Uhura stared up from her PADD and glanced at him. “What, sir?”
“Your breathing. It is abnormal.”
“I…um…”
“If engaging in exercise is causing your lateness I can assert that you seem in peak physical condition.”
Uhura held back a laugh and then cleared her throat. “Thank for the compliment.”
“It is not a complement but merely the truth.”
Uhura gave him a wry smile and put her PADD down. “I wasn’t exercising, Commander. I was working on my posture and attacks for my self defense class.”
“Interesting.”
“I…I’ve been having problems with it lately. My instructor told me that if I don’t pass the midterm I may fail the class.”
Spock raised his eyebrow. “Are you unable to keep up with the class?”
“It’s not being able to keep up. I’m just having difficulty in guarding against Klingon attacks. Their movements are different from what I’m used to and it makes me feel unbalanced.”
“Have you gone to your instructor about your concerns?”
“Yeah, but he’s such a hard ass….I mean, he doesn’t want to offer me assistance except during his office hours and those hours are only for written reports.”
Spock pardoned her inappropriate language, placing his PADD down on his desk.
“Is this why you have been so tardy recently?”
Uhura nodded her head slowly. “I have been sleeping past my alarm. I practice pretty much all night but I still can’t get it down. Today, I tried doing it in the morning for a change.”
Spock thought for a moment and then glanced up at her.
“Would it be possible for me to help you with your self defense?”
Uhura’s eyes widened in surprise. “I…uh…”
“I am adept at many forms of combat and would be able to assist you to learn how to defend against Klingon attack.”
“That would be…be very generous sir, but I’m sure that you have a lot on your plate.”
“I do not understand what my dietary habits have to do with training you.”
“Um…what I mean is…I’m sure your schedule is busy.”
“Oh. You have just used a colloquialism. I am not very busy. I will be able to assist you without problem.”
Uhura swallowed. “Okay.”
“Then it is agreed upon.”
Uhura nodded again and Spock looked down at his PADD, continuing to grade as if he had said nothing at all.
******
They agreed to Saturdays as an appropriate day and met in the academy training room in the early morning before even the sun rose. Spock stretched out silently, stretching his arms to touch his toes as he sat on the floor. He gave a quick look at Uhura to see her massaging her thigh muscles inside of her white exercise pants. Spock had never seen her outside of her uniform or choir robes before and took note of her exposed arms and the effect they were having on him. He closed his eyes for a second and then took in a breath. It was of no consequence. He could endure these feelings as he had endured others before them.
“Are you ready, Cadet Uhura?”
“Yeah. What do you want to start with?”
“We shall spar.”
A look of slight unease took went over her features but she nodded her head and crouched into defense. Spock looked at her posture and pinpointed the weak areas. He then put up his own defensive posture. She attacked first, kicking her legs towards his knees and he quickly jumped back. Uhura jumped back as well. They circled one another when Uhura launched her second attack, her padded right fist jabbing towards his face. Spock knocked her hand over, dipped, and hit her squarely in the chest.
She fell quickly, gasping for air, and collapsed to the padded floor. Spock was with her in seconds, his fingers framing her face.
Breathe. Calm your breath and your pain will go away.
“Breathe.” She repeated, gasping for air, “Calm your breath and your pain will go away.”
Her breathing slowed and Spock lifted his fingers, watching as she recovered herself. Finally her breathing returned to normal. Spock looked towards the window to the rising sun.
“You fight with emotion.”
Uhura said nothing but sat up. Spock looked at her.
“You only think of conquering your opponent and of your own movements. Your struggles, Miss Uhura, are due to you inability to stay within the moment of battle. It is illogical.”
“What did you just do to me?”
“Do not concern yourself with it.”
“I want to know.”
“When Vulcans train, we do not fear pain as humans do as pain is but for a fleeting moment in comparison to the truth of logic. You have learned a valuable lesson that you will not forget. You have learned I will not show you mercy or give you room for error.”
Uhura took a deep breath. “I would have it no other way.”
*******
He observed her taking her drink of water as if he had never seen the sight before. She was sweaty and looked as if she had been through Tal’oth herself, but also satisfied. They had been training for several weeks and she had gotten better at a rapid pace. She took his instruction to heart and improved on her posture and techniques. The incident during their first sparring was not repeated, and a small part of Spock was thankful, as grazing her mind had been a heady experience. He had not picked up her thoughts, as the mindmeld had been shallow, but he did pick up on an overwhelming amount of emotion.
Fear, anger, frustration, humiliation. These were emotions he could dismiss. But he could not dismiss the last he felt as her breath began to calm. Attraction.
She was attracted to him. He had expected her to be intrigued or fascinated by him. But her attraction and…lust, surprised him. And he was surprised by his own reaction of affection in the second it took to cut off his connection to her. He should have never melded with her, even if it was a common practice in Vulcan when a student first learned fighting techniques. He had not had this much turmoil over a woman since T’Pren, but just like with T’Pren, he was determined to fight it. He had mastered his emotions for T’Pren and he would master them over Uhura as well. After all, what was in the worth of mastering emotions one did not have?
“So, Commander, you were trained as a child correct?”
“Indeed.” Spock replied, taking a seat next to her.
“No wonder why you haven’t even broken out a sweat yet.”
“Vulcans are taught from a young age to be able to defend themselves through logic and perseverance. I encountered my first kahs wan when I was but seven years old.”
“Kahs wan? That means perseverance among the elements, doesn’t it?”
The corner of Spock’s lips turned up. “You are very astute, Cadet Uhura.”
Uhura turned to him. “Wasn’t that scary though? I mean going through something like that?”
Spock flashed to his fear when the le’mantya appeared from behind a rock and I-Chaya defended him.
“It was illogical to be in fear in the face of things one cannot logically control.”
“Sometimes. But I guess for us humans fear serves as a reminder of things we should not do.”
“So does logic.”
Uhura gave a chuckle and accidently brushed her bare arm against his bare arm. Cadet Uhura had no intention of the act to be sensuous and seemed innocently unaware of what she had done. Spock suddenly became aroused without warning. He became intimately aware of her presence and her space beside him, her much cooler skin marking its presence on his own. It was one thing to deal with her bare skin while sparring and training, but quite another in this context and without expecting it. He had touched the bare skin of a woman before, in both training and on social occasions, but he had never had this reaction before. He slightly blushed green in embarrassment and covered his groin with his forearms.
“Commander, are you okay?”
Spock rose quickly. “I have…I have to get to my meditations. Pardon me.”
“Commander?”
“I will see you Monday, Cadet Uhura.”
He walked straight out of the room, hoping that the cadet had not seen evidence of his growing attraction to her.
*****
He could sense her mood before she even walked fully in the door. Lightening struck as she placed her gym bag on the floor and she removed her hooded and rain soaked jacket.
“You are late, Cadet Uhura.”
“I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.”
Spock remained silent as she did her stretches. There were none of her usual warm smiles, or jokes, or occasional digs at his form of stretching. She seemed somber and…upset.
“Cadet Uhura, if you are having….”
“I’m fine!” she snapped and stood up. “Let’s just spar, okay?”
Spock nodded his head and crouched into position. Uhura did the same. They circled one another and Spock attacked first, his fist jabbing at her midsection. Uhura avoided his blows. She aimed and hit his chest. Spock backed away from her, noticing how weak her hit was.
“Cadet Uhura…”
“Commander, please. Let’s just fight.”
Spock came back to his position again and they engaged once again. Spock tagged her on her leg and attempted to wrap his arms around her but Uhura flipped him with all her strength. Spock landed on the mat and then rolled as quickly as possible, avoiding her attempts to pin him down. He stood again and faced her.
“Cadet Uhura, if you are under emotional duress it may be better if we spar at another time.”
“What is it with you?” Uhura answered. “Why aren’t you listening to what I’m saying?”
“Cadet Uhura, as your commanding officer….”
“I don’t get you. Don’t you feel anything? Can’t you feel anything?”
“Cadet, it would be wise if you….”
“No. I’m sick and tired of it. Let’s fight.”
“Cadet…”
He blocked her first punch coming from her but was unprepared for the elbow that landed directly on his nose. She was then on him, hitting him, fighting him. Spock finally caught her arms.
“Why don’t you get it!” Uhura sobbed. “Why don’t you get it? He was the only one who ever got me.”
“Cadet Uhura, what is wrong?”
“He’s gone, Commander. My…my grandfather is gone.”
The sudden realization hit him and Spock let go of her arms. Uhura sunk to the floor and put her face in her hands and continued to cry. Spock did not know what to do. He had never dealt with a human going through the grieving process before. He did not know how to comfort her.
His mother came to his mind and he went to his knees. He stared at her a moment and then, cautiously, took her in his arms. She grabbed at him fiercely, crying about her loss, and he just held her quietly, not sure if he were holding her the right way or if she were comfortable. His hold was stiff and somewhat awkward as he held her crying, a small look of bewilderment on his face. This was what his mother did for him when he was a very young child before he embraced logic fully, her touch soothing his nightmares away and her humming letting him know that she would let no beast get to him. It was a human way of comfort, so it was logical to give Uhura her human need for touch in her distress. It took her ten minutes to calm down and when she did she looked up him, tears still gleaming in her eyes.
“Oh my goodness, I can’t believe I just did that! I’m sorry, sir!”
She tried to back from his arms but Spock, surprisingly, held her where she was. She looked confused and unsure.
“You cannot help your emotion, Cadet Uhura. It is who you are. My mother is much the same way.”
Uhura leaned her head to his chest. “I’m going to miss him so much. He was one of the best people in the world.”
Spock held back his own thoughts in consideration to her. And there they sat, in one another arms, listening to the thunder.
******
“I passed.”
“Congratulations, Cadet Uhura.”
She gave him a big smile as she sat across from him at his desk. “That would have never happened without your help.”
Spock nodded and looked down at his PADD. He felt her eyes on him.
“And I also want to say thank you for holding me when I needed it.”
Spock looked up at Uhura once again. They had not much talked about what had happen the day her grandfather had died and his comfort of her. Their sparring had continued normally afterwards, he her instructor and she the student.
“It was something I would do for anyone in need.”
It was the first time he had succumbed to his human desire to lie.