Footsteps in the Desert: Chapter 2
Title: Footsteps in the Desert: Chapter 2
Author: poetics124/Poetics124
Rating: R
Pairing: Spock, later S/U
Summary: Spock's journey from a confused young adult to a Federation hero was a long one. Being in love was somewhat more complicated.
Disclaimer: Star Trek belongs to Paramount
(Chapter 1)
2258
Spock swerved against the Narada’s onslaught diving underneath the vessel with the Jellyfish. His “talk” with Nero had not produced much other Nero determined to kill him more than ever. He was not used to such emotion from a species that was similar to his. Nero was not logical. His anger had killed Vulcan and was now to kill another planet. His mother’s planet.
Spock turned the Jellyfish and dived down towards the drill on earth. He had to be ready if he was to save Earth.
2246
“It is illogical that a half-breed have such skill in kal-toh.”
Spock face remained impassive as he studied Savon across from him at the table. A group of other Vulcans surrounded them and the kal-toh board in complete silence.
“You underestimate my skill. I have improved over 50% since the last time we met.”
The boy nodded, a small smirk rising in his face. “It is of no concern.”
Spock picked up his t’an. “Let us begin.”
Both boys played with an underlying tension that was unbecoming of Vulcan. Their silence after each move serving as daggers of intellect, their inaudible audience watching each move with interest. Savon was the one who broke the silence.
“Impressive for a half- human.”
“You wish to distract me.” Spock continued, placing his t’an into a good spot. “What you have said is irrelevant to the current game we are playing.”
“I see its relevance. It is said that those who are of hybrid blood among animal species have some forms of retardation due to the innate incompatibility of genes. Logically, my blood and my intellect are superior to yours.”
“Irrelevent. Continue Savon, it is your move.”
Savon placed his t’an stick in the center of the sphere and suddenly Spock realized his mistake. Savon glanced at him impassively.
“I do believe that if you remove your next stick that the sphere shall collapse upon itself. It is logical to admit defeat now.”
Spock looked around to see his classmates awaiting his next move. Spock took his hand and gently removed a t’an stick, making the form collapse within itself.
“My calculations were correct on both your next move and your inferiority to me.” Savon stood and walked off from the table, the other Vulcan children following behind him. One pair of eyes turned to glanced at Spock, her brown irises showing a moment of sadness, but then she turned and walked out with the rest of the group.
Spock held in a breath and clenched his hands together, looking at the broken sphere in front of him. He had failed again. He knew that he must try harder.
******
“Spock, your brother is coming to visit us today.”
Spock walked up the stairs without acknowledging his mother and unconcerned with his brother’s presence for that day. He had to meditate to get over his anger at Savon and his frustration at losing once again to him in front of T’Pren.
T’Pren. It was hard to get her out of his mind no matter how many hours of meditation he had attempted to try. She was one of the few Vulcans who were truly logical among his peers and someone who had not spurned him as an outsider and traitor to his race.
And she was betrothed to Savon, making his defeat at his hands twice as humiliating. Spock was the one without a mate. The one no one wanted. The one who would probably die from being without a mate during his pon farr. His father had tried to find him other mates but none were willing to be bound to a hybrid child of inferior blood. While most boys of fourteen knew whom they would be connected to and had a surety of continuing their family lines, Spock’s human blood prevented him from having the same confidence in his own future.
“Spock.”
He turned his head to see his mother walk into his room, which was spare and bare except for his bed and his meditation candles. She looked pensive and he felt immediately ashamed of having ignored her earlier.
“I apologize mother if I have offended you. I was eager to start my meditations.”
“It’s okay Spock. You have a lot on your mind. I know your exams are coming up.”
“I am fully prepared mother. You should not worry.”
She walked up to him and placed her hand on his cheek. “I always worry. I can’t help it. I’m human which I’m reminded of every day.”
“Mother, has someone been bothering you again?”
“It’s nothing Spock. Nothing I haven’t gotten used to.”
He felt an anger welling up inside of him at the thought of his mother in pain. He had learned how to endure the merciless teasing and the disparaging comments about his father and brother. He had learned to deal with being an outsider in his own land. But he could never learn how to deal with the snide remarks and daily barbs aimed at his mother. She could not help if she were human and felt. She was not of Vulcan and she was not ashamed of her emotions or the love of her family.
She had told him once that it was not always like this for her on Vulcan. That while in the beginning of her marriage with Sarek there had been many adjustments to Vulcan society that she had struggled to make, she was still seen as capable and of an intellect that belied her human nature. But after the U.S.S Kelvin had been destroyed the hostility against her had been tremendous and the tensions between Earth and Vulcan had been strained like never before. It was Sarek‘s status that had saved her from the worst of it, but much like her son, she was an outsider and outcast from Vulcan society.
“Spock, I’m okay.” She put her hand on his neck and he lowered his head so she could plant a kiss on his forehead. “You are getting so tall. I’m so proud of you.”
“Pride is a ridiculous emotion mother. I am merely doing my function as a Vulcan.”
“And you are becoming more like your father every day.” Amanda laughed causing Spock to raise his eyebrow.
******
There was a gentle silence at the table as Sarek and his family ate together. It was the first time in four years that they had all sat under one roof since Sybok’s marriage and they enjoyed the food cooked for the occasion.
“Sybok, I have heard that you are making quite the name for yourself as a scholar at the academy.”
Sybok looked at Amanda with a blank expression. “I do believe that is a slight exaggeration. I am but performing my duties and efficient at my task of translation.”
Amanda merely grinned and took a bite out of her food. Sarek glanced at her and said nothing more.
“I have to say that although I am efficient at my duty, I find myself increasingly bored.”
All movement stopped. Sarek lowered his drinking cup and stared at his eldest son. Spock actually looked up from the table.
“Being bored is irrelevant to your task. I did not send you to be under the tutelage of Sutak for banal emotionality. I sent you to learn.”
“It is not banal emotionality, father. I speak the truth. Most of the philosophies found with Sutak are things I have already known. It is all logic. It is all found from Surak. It is trite.”
Spock took his glass cup and drained it of its water while Amanda almost coughed out her food. The silence was no longer gentle but as hostile as a desert storm.
“Surak’s teachings are not trite. You, of all of Vulcan, should know that.”
Sybok did not back down. “I thought we abandoned our gods long ago, father. Now I know all we have done is replaced them with a new one.”
“I will not dignify this with an answer.” Sarek said as he stood. He walked out of the room as Amanda got up to follow him. Spock simply sat, unsure of what to make of what Sybok had said. Sybok took in a breath and looked at his younger brother.
“I am sorry for ruining your dinner, my brother. I am afraid I am no longer welcome in our father’s house.”
Sybok stood and walked away from the table as well, leaving Spock alone with his thoughts.
*****
“Spock.”
Spock stood still, his right foot on the first step leading to his bedroom and his second foot on the foyer floor. He looked into the dark of the next room only to see a silhouette of his father sitting in front of an open window, the Vulcan stars and sky purple in the night. Spock placed his foot down and went towards his father.
“Yes, father.”
“You have heard of what Sybok has done.”
Spock nodded his head, unsure of what he should say. Sybok had turned away from his logic. Away from Surak’s teaching. And now he was banished for trying to make others believe as he did. He was no longer Vulcan. He was a V’tosh ka’tur, one without logic, and he had been exiled.
“Your mother is asleep.” Spock could not see his face and did not know if he wanted to. “Go find my lute.”
Spock found his father’s lute and was about to give it to him when Sarek held up his hand. “I wish for you to play it.”
“I am insufficient in comparison to you, father.”
“It does not matter. None of it does. Play.”
Spock sat, his legs crossed together, and plucked the strings. When he had played the lute before, his mental calculations of where to pluck and the rhythm to follow were utmost in his mind, but on this night he simply played, his fingers stroking the strings intimately. He believed he had never played the lute better. Sarek stared out at the stars in silence and Spock wondered if he was thinking of his first son.
*****
“Fascinating.”
Savon stared at the completed sphere in wonder. Spock looked at his work with detachment.
“It seems your theory of hybrid genes being inferior is incorrect. I do not take insult at your lack of knowledge.”
Savon glared at Spock and stood up, the rest of his classmates following him. T’Pren turned her head to look at him and instead of sadness for him, her eyes looked glad.
Spock looked at the sphere again and his lips quirked up on their sides. For one moment, he would be proud.