As in the Heavens: Chapters 11-12
Title: As in the Heavens: Chapter 11-12
Author: Poetics124
Rating: PG:13
Pairing: Spock/Uhura, Spock Prime
Summary: She could not hold him any longer. *The third story in the Primal Universe*
Disclaimer: Star Trek belongs to Paramount
Sirinvok was fascinated and frustrated by the puzzle that was Commander Spock’s mind. He had entered and possessed many minds, but none as powerful as his. He had not completely lied to Commander Tulvan when he said he was having difficulty penetrating his mind, it was much harder than usual.
The false memory that he had placed in Spock’s mind was not progressing as smoothly as he wanted it to. There were protections in Spock’s mind that he had not anticipated or foreseen. Some were emotional centers that were guarded and protected, others were mental blocks that even with his power he could not see through.
He was a true son of the Surak line and Sirinvok believed he should have been able to anticipate the power of that particular clan in order to capture Spock’s mind.
Sirinvok touched Spock’s bruised and bloody face. Sirinvok would have to rest if he was going to fully attack those defenses and fully break Spock’s emotional control.
He had never encountered a full trained Vulcan before, but he would not let that deter him from taking his mind like he had taken many others. And then they would be ready. But first he had to make sure that the others were just as ready as well.
******
“Your memories of Delta 257 are incomplete.”
Uhura stared up at Spock Prime as if he had informed her that the sky was purple. She was resting in her quarters . She and Spock were alone, dealing with their meld and her own memories of Delta 257.
“What is that supposed to mean? Incomplete?”
“It means that something or someone has erased certain parts of the memory so that you would forget.”
“That can’t be right. I…maybe it was the drugs…”
Spock Prime took in a deep breath. “It was not chemically induced. If I were to hazard a guess, Commander Spock manipulated your mind so that you would forget certain elements that pertained to your capture on Delta 257.”
“What? I don’t…Spock would never do that to me.”
Spock Prime gazed down at her with compassion. “I do not think I am mistaken. I also believe that that particular memory is a bonding point which he left in order to access your mind and your feelings, mostly in case of emergency. Uncovering those memories could be the key to gaining access to his mind and the entity inside of it.”
Nyota sat up in her bed, feeling confused and betrayed. She didn’t like the idea of her mind being messed with, especially without any knowledge, even if it was her lover who did it.
“Why would Spock do something like that?”
“This I cannot answer. But what I can answer is that whatever has been covered and hidden was and still is extremely traumatic to you. So if the commander did do this….he probably did it for a good reason.”
Nyota rose from her bed and took off from her room. She wanted answers and she wanted them now. And she could only think of one person on this ship that could answer them for her.
******
“Forgive me for barging in sir, but can I speak with you for a minute?”
Jim looked up from his PADD and waved Nyota in. “I’ve been working on every channel I can in order to open up negotiations on getting Spock back. Hopefully….”
“I want you to explain to me why I have missing memories of Delta 257.”
Kirk dropped his PADD on his desk and leaned back in his chair, his blue eyes registering surprise. Nyota pursed her lips, her hands behind her back, her face determined.
“I don’t know what you are talking about, Lt.”
“Don’t…” Nyota took in a breath to reign in her control. “Ambassador Spock believes that Commander Spock has removed memories from m y mind because of that mission. You should know what happened as you were there as well as Dr. McCoy.”
A small look of compassion entered onto Jim’s face as he shook his head. “This maybe something you don’t want to know, Lt.”
“I have a right to know what happened to me, Jim!”
Jim stared at his desk. “Maybe when Spock returns…It’s better if he explains it to you, Nyota. I can’t tell you. I can’t.”
“Then I’ll find someone on this damn ship who will.” Nyota stormed out of Kirk’s ready room as if it were on fire, leaving Kirk saddened and ashamed in her wake.
*****
Sirinvok stalked the hallways, a wisp of a man, starving for power. Many of the Romulans soldiers stayed clear of him, knowing of his reputation and simply fearful of his strange appearance. He no longer cared about their stares, they would be dead soon so it didn’t matter if they thought him strange or not. One man on this corridor was whom he wanted to see.
He paused by the door and it automatically opened. A burly Romulan of distinctive birth and rank stood on the other side.
“Sirinvok, it is a pleasure to see you, lord.”
Sirinvok entered without reply or comment about the man’s bow. “Is everything ready?”
“Yes. Sixty men are at the ready to do your bidding, my lord. They have sworn allegiance to you and whomever you choose as your vessel.”
“Darinkar, does Commander Tulvan…?”
“He has no idea, lord. He will be taken by surprise.”
Sirinvok sent out a mental pulse towards Darinkar and the Tal Shair agent shook with pleasure. He had been the first mind of the Romulans to be taken in his plan. It had taken every inch of his power physically down the agent and infiltrate his mind. But once he had, it was well worth it.
“I want ten of those men here tonight. We move with our plan within the week.”
“My lord, what of the Starfleet officer? You have said he is not ready.”
“He will be. And soon.”
********
There was something wrong with this. Whether it was the mourning of the Enterprise crew or the small details of Nyota’s mother’s correspondence to him on her daughter’s death, there was something amiss.
Spock examined Nyota’s body as an investigator instead of a lover. Logically she looked as he remembered her naked, but something was wrong. Was nagging at his senses that something was the matter.
“Dr. McCoy?”
“Yes, Spock.”
“When you examined the body did you find any trace of severe sexual assault?”
*****
“Lt. Uhura, I want to tell you, I really do, but I can’t darling.”
“Len, I thought we were friends.”
“We are darling, which is why I’m not saying anything.”
*****
“No, there wasn’t any. If that’s any comfort to you.”
“Fascinating.”
******
“I have a right to know! I’ve been tortured for months with dreams about that damn mission, I want to know if any of the dreams I’ve been having weren’t all dreams.”
“I…can’t Nyota. Understand this.”
“I can’t understand this. It makes no sense.”
“If it’s any comfort, it doesn’t make much to me either darling.”
******
“There were no traces of any foreign substance in her blood stream.”
“Not that I could find. Why are you questioning me so much about this?”
“You are not the real Dr. McCoy.”
******
“I can’t help Spock if I don’t know what’s going on in my head. If you were ever my friend, if you ever cared about Spock, you need to tell me what happened on Delta 257.”
“It’s not a door you want to open.”
“I get to decide that.”
“You were the one who decided to forget, Uhura. “
*****
“Are you out of your, Vulcan mind? What’s wrong with you?”
“You are a false memory implanted by a very powerful telepath. You are a rather adequate representation of the man I know as Dr. McCoy, but as in human vernacular, you are not the real McCoy.”
*******
“What are you talking about?”
“You wanted to forget, Uhura. You…you asked Spock to do it. God knows if I went through the same thing I would want to forget it too.”
“I can’t believe this.”
“You were in bad shape, darling. Real bad shape. You wanted to forget so….he made you forget.”
******
“You are but a figment of someone else imagination. This is not real. You are not real. I am in my own mind.”
“Now wait on cotton picking minute!”
Spock merely walked past the good doctor, sure in his knowledge of the truth and as he did so his true memories began to return. Sirinvok was behind this.
*******
“I tried to tell you both and the captain that it was a bad idea. But you were…you were so adamant. You knew you couldn’t pass any psych evaluation that they would give you. You knew that it would be the end of your career in Starfleet. And Spock, with that damn logic of his, believed it would be better for your recovery to gradually return your memories when you were more able to deal with them. “
“I don’t believe this.”
“Believe it. The problem with the both of you is that you think he’s god and he believes the same. His Vulcaness can’t cure everything that’s wrong!”
“Len! Just stop, Len.”
“I’ve always committed myself to do no harm. And by me signing off on that was believing that I wasn’t harming you. But now I see I was wrong. Old Dr. McCoy was wrong that time, you better believe it.”
“Len…please stop.”
“I’m sorry. I’ve told you enough already. I’ll be down in the Medical Bay if you need anything else.”
Nyota only felt numb as Dr. McCoy left her quarters.
Chapter 12
“You look slightly put out, Jim.”
Captain Kirk gave Ambassador Miles a small smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “What can I say? Being captain of a starship can sometimes be a hard job that can make you feel put out.”
Both men sat in Kirk’s office and observed each other with an aura of respect. Kirk tossed the Ambassador an apple and Miles took it without complaint.
“I just feel so frustrated. I’m just sitting here in space and my friend is out there with the Romulans with something inside his mind. I feel like I failed him.”
Miles took a bite out of his apple. “I used to be a starship captain. Much smaller ship than this but no less responsibility. I lost some good people as well.”
“Well, I’m not going to lose Commander Spock.” Kirk said with determination. It sunk in how much the stoic Vulcan meant to him from becoming a man who he had disliked at first sight to someone whom he trusted with his life. He was not going to let him down.
“I’m not saying you will, Jim.” Miles took in a breath.
“When I was a young man, my father taught me an old prayer, the Lord’s Prayer. “
*******
“Ambassador Spock, I want you to help me retrieve my memories.”
“Do you think that is wise, Lt. Uhura?”
“You said those memories would better enable me to help, Spock. I have to take the chance.”
“Even if it might mean triggering something in you that you may not be able to deal with?”
“Not having Spock is something I can’t deal with. Anything that avoids that possibility is manageable.”
*****
“My father wasn’t a spiritual man, but he liked the prayer. He especially liked the part about letting it be on Earth as it is in the heavens.”
*****
Sybok watched quietly as Humar slept, a security field standing between he and his ward. He didn’t like that his friend was in the brig and did not like Humar being alone. He understood the reasons but it still made him uncomfortable. That Humar left captivity only to become another captive by no fault of his own.
He suddenly felt a hand on his shoulder and looked to see his father there. Sarek did not say anything and merely glanced at Humar. Sybok gazed at him as if for the first time. He now understood what his father had been through with his banishment. He now understood what it felt to raise a child and feel he had come to ruin.
“I am sorry, father.”
Sarek merely looked ahead and Sybok joined him, and for the first time since his banishment he felt contentment between he and his father.
******
“I never got what my father liked about it until I came to become a captain of ship. Then I understood. “
******
Spock dreamed that he was free. There were no traps. No pain. He was on Vulcan on ancestral lands that had been a part of his families line for generations. His mother was there, dressed in ceremonial garb as was his father. His brother was there as well with his wife. There was no strife. No picking between worlds. He was home.
And home was before him.
She walked towards him, in Vulcan bridal attire with a flash of human ingenuity. She was perfection. And in this world, he could share with her what was in his heart. What was in his mind. What was always on the tip of his tongue in reality.
“Nyota. I love you.”
******
“Our job, Jim, is to make sure our lives and the lives of others are striving for heaven. Now I’m not saying in some sort of biblical way, but our jobs is to make life as good as it ever can be and as close to perfection as possible so that individuals can live with their own freedoms and happiness. That they can live in peace.”
*******
Minds race through his mind. Thoughts. Fears. Strengths. All of these things drained into him and flowed through him as if water. He was a container. But he was not a strong one.
But Sirinvok hope he would be one soon.
*******
“There are struggles and pain. Nothing is ever perfect, Captain. But if you go out there every day with the mindset that you’re going to make this universe as close to a heavenly existence as possible, then you’ve done your job. Even in failure there is the knowledge of striving for it. Keep that in mind.”
Ambassador Miles took another bite of his apple and stood, giving a small salute to Jim. He then exited, leaving James T. Kirk to examine his words.