[For Anthony] So full of artless jealousy is guilt, It spills itself in fearing to be spilt.
Seeing Satine again, talking with her, laughing and smiling (and touching, there had been quite a fair amount of that) had been a pleasant surprise, but now that Julian was alone again, the encounter--as well as their initial meeting--playing in his mind, it was starting to weigh on him heavily. There was a strong attraction, and it was quite obviously mutual. The fact that they had nearly kissed, not just once, but multiple times on both occasions, was evidence enough of that.
He had to tell Anthony. Oh, he'd done nothing wrong (yet), but it still felt like a betrayal of sorts, if only an emotional one. His attraction to Satine conflicted with his devotion (however unspoken) to Anthony, not to mention his promise to himself never to do what was done to Vanessa. No, monogamy was a much more appealing concept than the misery his mother had gone through with Duncan, or even with Clive.
Full of resolve (and a large helping of guilt) he returned to the cave he shared with Anthony, unsure as to whether he hoped more that Anthony would be there so this could all be over and done with, or that he would not be so Julian had time to prepare himself and perhaps even think of what to say. Maybe he should have done that first.
He had to tell Anthony. Oh, he'd done nothing wrong (yet), but it still felt like a betrayal of sorts, if only an emotional one. His attraction to Satine conflicted with his devotion (however unspoken) to Anthony, not to mention his promise to himself never to do what was done to Vanessa. No, monogamy was a much more appealing concept than the misery his mother had gone through with Duncan, or even with Clive.
Full of resolve (and a large helping of guilt) he returned to the cave he shared with Anthony, unsure as to whether he hoped more that Anthony would be there so this could all be over and done with, or that he would not be so Julian had time to prepare himself and perhaps even think of what to say. Maybe he should have done that first.