abituary
i have come to the awful conclusion that life is absured. not just at times,..but ALL the time. when you are happy. when you are sad. when you are confused, distraught, pleasant, having a good time, pregnant, feel cool, or when you are riding in your beat up pickup truck, with rock screaming outyour windows and a cigerate dangaling from your lips.
i have been through my own hell and halfway back and i still dont understand. SUCCESS; favorable result, gain SUCCEED; reach. great! you succeed when you success. now, how do i get there. is that such a retorical question?
i had great dreams at one time. i still have those dreams only slightly modified. what happens to great dreams when you justify actions agianst them. do they disapear, or burry themselves untill you have come to your sensed enough not to denie them there ability.
it is easy to dinie a drink offered by someone when you have never had a drink before. i think the same goes for many things both good and bad. your dreams are you goals, or close enough. maybe i should write my goals down and paste them on my wall and draw pictures of my dreams and then frame them.
i want to succeed in success at running, but if my time and distance is never good enough, wether to myself or not, is it possible? what happens then, do i just keep running in an endless cycle of determination to my death?
i want to be a writer, a photographer, an athlete, a couslor, a poet, a friend. i think i would like it if all of these things (life) were more like becoming a lifegaurd. go to a couple of classes, learn the skills, take the test, pass , and reciving a certification card renuable every three years.
is success truly happiness or does it make you greedy for more? can you already want more even if you never succeeded in success. i do. i want something published, i already write, i want my picture in a magazine, i already take beautiful pictures (acording to my mother) i want to be in the olimpics, i already compete. you probly get my point. HELL! i dont get my point.
ive come to wonder, if wanting all this is selfish or excactly what i need to get there? and if that is true, and that is all i need then i better STOP writing, because i have solved my problem,..and have just succeded in success at feeling like a complete idiot!
i have been through my own hell and halfway back and i still dont understand. SUCCESS; favorable result, gain SUCCEED; reach. great! you succeed when you success. now, how do i get there. is that such a retorical question?
i had great dreams at one time. i still have those dreams only slightly modified. what happens to great dreams when you justify actions agianst them. do they disapear, or burry themselves untill you have come to your sensed enough not to denie them there ability.
it is easy to dinie a drink offered by someone when you have never had a drink before. i think the same goes for many things both good and bad. your dreams are you goals, or close enough. maybe i should write my goals down and paste them on my wall and draw pictures of my dreams and then frame them.
i want to succeed in success at running, but if my time and distance is never good enough, wether to myself or not, is it possible? what happens then, do i just keep running in an endless cycle of determination to my death?
i want to be a writer, a photographer, an athlete, a couslor, a poet, a friend. i think i would like it if all of these things (life) were more like becoming a lifegaurd. go to a couple of classes, learn the skills, take the test, pass , and reciving a certification card renuable every three years.
is success truly happiness or does it make you greedy for more? can you already want more even if you never succeeded in success. i do. i want something published, i already write, i want my picture in a magazine, i already take beautiful pictures (acording to my mother) i want to be in the olimpics, i already compete. you probly get my point. HELL! i dont get my point.
ive come to wonder, if wanting all this is selfish or excactly what i need to get there? and if that is true, and that is all i need then i better STOP writing, because i have solved my problem,..and have just succeded in success at feeling like a complete idiot!