So fucking pathetic!!!
I was reading my notebook today and I can not believe the amount of writings done about getting fucked up to forget someone not wanting to be with me, whom I am still in love with. And, how fucking pathetic is it when all I wrote about for the past 2 years has been her and how she makes me feel. Still, we are not together, and now, I know we never will be. I have realized a lot in the past month about myself and others in my life. I have chosen to longer be hollow and bitter, but I also am no longer going to sit back and let this pain control me and drive me to drink or use. I am making some changes. This time, it is for myself.