Sam’s dreamscape
We rarely seen Dean from Sam’s POV - the only time I can think of is the hallucination in Levee, where head!Dean was basically saying what actual Dean was saying. Sam thinks of Dean as his survival instinct, yes, but also, Sam’s subconscious pictures Dean whaling on him. (Sam also doesn’t see himself as being in control of his
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(1) The episode heavily emphasized the idea of choice and autonomy. Death makes a point to say "it's up to Sam." Ezekiel tells Dean that Sam can give him the boot any time without consent. Even Dean says several times that he is perfectly well aware that Sam would never agree to be possessed. Even the consistent use of the term "possession," which we usually associate with demons, rather than the more euphemistic "vessel" or "host" type words that are usually applied to angelic body-snatchers, heavily emphasizes the non-consensual nature of this arrangement.
(2) If the show was really trying to show Dean in the best possible light, then we didn't have to see Sam as having made some peace with Death. We could have seen him spend the episode throwing a grand Winchester snit and refusing to go gently, or seen a reaper threaten or menace him, or probably a few other things that would make Dean showing up with any way out look like a big damn hero. This need not have altered the outcome of Ezekiel possessing Sam, with or without Sam's conscious knowledge.
And that's just off the top of my head. These are all things that occurred NOT for the major movement of the plot, but to frame the episode and point our reactions in a particular direction. It won't convince the people who don't want to be convinced, and they're the loudest and most obnoxious, obviously. But like...it's okay to ignore those people.
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