SPN 9x1

[pocochina]

Sam’s dreamscape

We rarely seen Dean from Sam’s POV - the only time I can think of is the hallucination in Levee, where head!Dean was basically saying what actual Dean was saying. Sam thinks of Dean as his survival instinct, yes, but also, Sam’s subconscious pictures Dean whaling on him. (Sam also doesn’t see himself as being in control of his

Comments

[ash48]

he knew Sam was okay with it and yet he's yanking him back into a world and turning his body over to who knows what.

Jumping in because I think it's a really (really!) big distinction between Sam making "peace" with his own impression of Dean (the fighting Dean that we saw) and him deciding to die because he doesn't want to hurt anyone else. Dean only saw Sam say he wants to die forever so he doesn't hurt anyone else. From Dean's pov this is wrong - this isn't Sam dying for a "good" reason. This is Sam dying thinking he's a total screw up (which, ok - it could be argued that he is, but not from Dean's pov).

I know this is a huge leap but one way I have been interpreting is- it's like seeing someone who wants to kill themselves and doing everything within their power to stop it because they think that decision isn't being made with a clear view. That's essentially my reading on how Dean has viewed Sam wanting to die. Sam didn't really want to die (in fact he even says as much after Dean comes to him). I think if Sam really wanted to die he wouldn't have agree to Dean helping him to stay alive.

[pocochina]

it's like seeing someone who wants to kill themselves and doing everything within their power to stop it because they think that decision isn't being made with a clear view

Yes, exactly. I mean, Dean knew what he was doing was majorly fucked up - if he didn't, he wouldn't have tap-danced around getting the technical "yes," he would've laid it out for Sam - and I'm not about to defend this pattern of behavior. But if Sam didn't really, really want to live, he wouldn't have gone with Dean no questions asked based on such mature and cogent arguments as "SAM THERE'S A THING PLEASE DO THE THING!!!"

Again, the fact that Dean was obscuring THE THING at all means that he knows he was playing fast and loose. And his agreement not to tell Sam right away - and acto [Spoiler (click to open)]is going to be going on for at least a few more episodes - is a lot less questionable. Dean has the time now to present a case so Sam can make his own informed decision, or he will very shortly, and he has chosen not to, which is Very Bad.

But the initial reprieve....I honestly do not know. And I love that the episode did enough to keep me going back and forth on this. The episode took pains to lay out these different layers for us, and I think it's fascinating.