hates any man the thing he would not kill?
Insight into my boring life: I usually think these things out on the elliptical. Unfortunately I had minor medication weirdness which resulted in me not eating enough before my most recent workout, and therefore much verbosity and wackiness below. You've been warned.
The Oath
MY FAVORITES ARE BACK! ALL OF THEM! Except for Gaeta, but he is up there with Cain in terms of fabulous villain badassery, so we’ll let that slide. (Sidebar, I talk about this kid so much, my spellcheck recognizes his name.) LAURA HBIC AGAIN. KARA HERO SHOT. ZAREK ALL SLIMY AND DANGEROUS. TYROL BAMF. BALTAR BEING ALL SELF-CONGRATULATORY AND HILARIOUS BUT STILL COMING THROUGH. My stealth new loves are awesome here too. Tigh is fantastic! And Revelations Lee!
And yet, my heroes being heroic again comes at such a huge price. There’s no earth to find, and the nasty Cylons have vanished (for now) and these people don’t know how to rally except in opposition to an enemy. So the renegade Colonials abandon all reason in order to cling to the idea of the Cylons as the enemy, and the loyalists use this as the kick in the ass to pull themselves together. I enjoyed this episode so much, but underneath it all is this achingly dark proposition that we need to turn on each other just to become ourselves and that’s way worse than Earth having been a desolate shithole. All we have is our oaths, our words; we can police each other all we want but who guards the guards?
GAETA WHAT ARE YOU DOING. IF YOU WERE JUST GOING AFTER LEOBEN, THAT WOULD BE ONE THING, BUT THIS IS UNTOWARD. THIS IS NOT TOWARD! (I’m joking about Leoben. Mostly.) All that yakking I did about lurking vindictive badass Gaeta, and I never thought we would actually get to see it TY ALL FOR RESISTING THE URGE TO SPOIL. I am LOVING the character payoff here. To his slide into disillusionment, to his deception of Baltar, to the ease with which he shrugged off the jailbreak, lied on the stand, and overthrew Starbuck, even to his frustration that he has to take the brunt of Tigh’s ire and put up with everyone calling him “Mr. Gaeta” - he was a lieutenant when we met him, and if he hasn’t been promoted all this time, that’s yet another insult. He’s been so right so many times and had to buck authority to make things right, he now thinks that bucking authority is the same as making things right, which makes him a smarter, colder match for Zarek. And he totally gets off on it, he loves arresting Adama, and barking out orders rather than loyally parroting someone else’s, and flipping Starbuck the bird when he gives himself away hanging up on her.
Unfortunately Zarek is the worst. I know a little about revolution, Mr. Gaeta. Of course he really doesn’t; his meaningless nihilist “revolution” failed, and he’s only alive because he was in prison where he belonged for pulling these stunts before the attack. He’s shut out once again and just loves being the one to destroy the government instead of doing the tiresome work of propping one up.
It is pretty awful and shocking that he was still locked up at this point. Such a dark twist on KLG - Home! Oh, sure, Bill had pretense to lock up Zarek, but it was pretense and it was wrong. So he makes an alliance with a disaffected officer and they make a run for it. (Also, THIS PLACE HAS REALLY GONE DOWNHILL, DO THEY JUST LET ANYONE IN THIS BRIG, that Gaeta can waltz in and out like this? I know he talked some of the marines onto his side, but they do have cameras, surely someone loyal to Adama would notice if they were all being turned off?) And then Gaeta turns around and does the exact same thing to Bill. Really, they are almost exactly the same actions as have been taken by the protagonists at one time or the other and I was cheering my fool head off. There’s nothing either good or bad but context and reason and careful examination makes it so.
The comparison is especially poignant given that this is what Lee was recruited for. Zarek needs a partner. He doesn’t even need a reason to rebel, he just needs a co-conspirator who can shoot straight. He thought he saw an opening with Lee, saw how easily Lampkin played him and slithered right on in there with the promise of high office; he didn’t count on Lee actually believing in the system no matter how furious it makes him. He even tries to push those same buttons Lampkin did - honor thy father or be true to your oath - but Lee’s found himself a little too much for this to work. Zarek plays Lee to get him off the ship, yeah, but his goal was to win Lee over.
Laura gets one of her adorable understatements. “The fleet has never been comfortable with the Cylon amnesty thing.” Never? They’ve had, like, a week to get used to it. Again, this isn’t straight-up xenophobia, even if it is tied up with people venting their rage at the Cylons as scapegoats. Some of these potential citizens really did KILL ALL OF THEIR FUCKING FAMILIES, they’re allowed to have a couple of days not to be wild about the idea of having them in their homes. They’re not in on what’s going on like we are! They don’t know Anders or Tyrol, and they only know Tigh from that time he TOOK OVER THE FLEET BY FORCE AND STARTED SHOOTING AT THEM. They’re allowed to be skeptical for a goddamn week. Zarek, as ever, senses a reason for discontent and turns it into a rationalization for terrorism, and those things should be separated, but the reasons are real.
I’m really glad this perspective did get some airing without the rebellion being excused, with Lee of all people bringing it up. He goes a little unfairly too far, when he lumps Tigh and Tyrol in with the other Cylons who “annihilated the human race,” but people do feel that way with legitimate reason. He’s also not dealing with it the way Gaeta and Zarek are, he voices support for the alliance as a practical matter (let’s move forward together my ass, I knew that was bullshit) and tries to help calm the rebellion in the smartest way possible, which shows that there’s disagreement that’s not just a flimsy pretext for unforgivable violence. (I do find it a little more worrisome that Mr. Civil Liberties himself tries to sell the Quorum on the idea that “agitating against a lawful order“ is a crime worthy of indefinite military detention.) He did grant the amnesty and set the alliance in motion, he’s not as much about actually venting his rage on folks when it’s foolish anymore, but you’re damned right he has a problem, and I would too.
Laura tries to dodge her job but it’s crap; she knows her responsibilities, but she also loves working and can’t quite keep herself out of politics, which is good. Lee has talent but right now is way outmatched in the Quorum. This isn’t crisis stuff, and this isn’t him getting to act on his own solid instincts, this is knowing when to keep his mouth shut. Which. HELP US LAURA ROSLIN YOU’RE OUR ONLY HOPE, THE FLEET IS TRULY DOOMED, ET CETERA ET CETERA. But she bounces back at Lee’s prodding (SO MUCH LOVE for this relationship) to herself at her toughest. “I will do whatever it takes, and I will not allow Tom Zarek to assume the presidency under any circumstances.” THAT’S MY GIRL! EEEE!
And speaking of, oh, Lee, there’s my good, brave boy who I knew was in there somewhere. WHAT THE FUCK TOOK YOU SO LONG? OTHER PEOPLE LEARN TO BE GOOD WITHOUT HAVING SOMEONE HAND THEM THE PRESIDENCY AFTER THE FUCKING WORLD EXPLODES ON THEM. C’MON, SON! I feel like if I could just accept the juvenile proposition that the world revolves around Lee Adama because he’s young and male and healthy (well, physically) and Caprican and wealthy and is just LEE! MOTHERFUCKIN! ADAMA! all over then I could straightforwardly enjoy his story. As it is, though I am obviously engaged in his story and actually coming around to liking him LEE DON’T FUCK THIS UP, he’s also partially a story of someone whose unexamined privilege is as huge as his intentions are good, and partially a story of all the wasted potential in the world. How many people with Lee’s skills and brains and goodness are dying of misery in the tillium factory? He’s rare, but he’s not singular.
STARBUCK HERO SHOT! THE BITCH IS BACK! “Take it from someone who died once, it’s no fun. *blam* I could do this all day.” Kara’s mother has won out here, which is quite tragic no matter how much I love seeing warrior Kara again. She needs someone to fight against to be her sharpest, most enthusiastic self. They are not your men anymore, they are the enemy. And she pulls it together to get Lee into the fight, connecting the wild kiss she initiates with him with the fight and their wonderful partnership, inspiring Lee to take off his tie before he finishes wiping the blood off his face. The politician is colder than the soldier ever was.
This is really about our main cast finding themselves again (well, except for Gaeta), but we have a big enough pool to put names and faces on the individual victims. Anders is sweet and trusting and doesn’t see it coming. Helo is a dumbass about it, and ends up with a wound almost identical to the one he gave Thorn, after hearing another rape threat to Athena. “You want me, fine, just leave them out of it.” But it’s Sharon they want; Helo is a bonus. And of course Six thinks this is about her. It’s not about procreation, though I’m sure that was a scare line Gaeta and Zarek used if they had to. People are scared. I do worry about Nicky, if people still think he’s Tyrol’s son. (That still feels like a bullshit retcon because they want Hera to be special for some reason, and so they eliminated Tyrol’s bio-paternity, but, whatever.)
Tyrol the resistance leader is back, HE IS THE GROWN-UP NEVILLE LONGBOTTOM, and he’s the one who facilitates the escape, for no other reason than that it’s right. “I got people all over this ship giving me information.” Some of them are violently freaking out; some of them have realized that they know and trust Tyrol, whatever he is. He’s not in it for his own life or citizenship or any selfish motives. It’s the right thing to do and he steps up. And that’s how he knew to go down to Baltar’s, someone Gaeta approached tipped him off.
Interesting Tigh stuff going on in this episode. Fittingly enough, he’s there with Bill at the very beginning and end of the episode, and starts out surprisingly politic and calm. “Given the fleet’s mood toward Cylons, you might not want me taking point on this.” Unfortunate, but wise. Not that Saul can’t handle it, if someone’s watching out for the remote triggers (and I do believe Athena, if not all the rebels, would know to be keeping an eye) then he’s safe, but appearances do matter, as much as they shouldn’t. But it’s not self-loathing, as we find out with his crack about “Zarek’s anti-Cylon bull.” The same anti-Cylon bull Tigh spouted until he found out he was one OOPS! I think that’s as much about the fact that it’s Zarek’s bull than that it’s anti-Cylon bull, but still. And then we get a Bill and Saul bro-fight where they get the better of three younger armed men which is just fantastic. We see why they clicked all those years ago.
Gaius would make me laugh out loud at civil war. I have no desire to leave you, BUT I AM GOING TO HEAD FOR THE HILLS ANYWAY, BALTAR OUT, BITCHEZ. And Laura would think to go get Gaius, and he would mumble on about proportionate measures. And then oh lord throwing his god in Laura’s face after Earth, and Laura tells him to get his head out of his bible. I want to type out this whole exchange and be like GOOD SO GOOD but faster to just say it’s awesome. Roslin and Baltar going toe to toe is enough on its own to make an episode worthwhile, but with the two of them finally having it out on equal footing, it snaps even in an exciting episode. Neither of them has any reason to hold back, not least because they have every reason to cooperate, calling back to the very first time they teamed up back in Colonial Day to stop Zarek. See how we all get along, when we want to execute someone else instead of each other? I bet Laura used to have that on a poster in her classroom.
Baltar, for all his snippiness, gets his very own possible hero moment when he decides to use his powers of logic, charm, and sheer craven flattery to try and get Gaeta to stand down. And Gaeta is like “I TOLD YOU NOT TO CALL ME HERE!” and Baltar is like “but baby I want you back!” and Gaeta isn’t having it and so he’s all “YOU HAD YOUR CHANCE! I am so embarrassed I was ever SEEN with you! And just so you know, it isn’t that common, it doesn’t happen to every guy, and it is a big deal!” and Baltar is like “Okay, I’LL KEEP YOUR SPECIAL PEN MY DIRTY LITTLE SECRET. Oh, are we on speakerphone? Hi, Mrs. Gaeta! How’s the book club?” Okay not quite but SUBTEXT.
In seriousness, I compared Gaeta to Cain up there, and now I have to get all verbose about it because I think it’s purposeful but also problematic and anyway WHAT ARE YOU, NEW HERE? They’re not all that different. The Cylons are the enemy and should be forevermore, and it doesn’t matter if we fall apart and murder each other on our way down because war is our purpose. Adama’s in the way, so kill him. Cain hardened herself into this mold immediately after the attacks, Gaeta’s chosen to go down this road after multiple traumas inflicted by other humans. I don’t doubt that Cain would have staged the takeover Gaeta did - in fact, we know she considered taking over Galactica -but because of her rank she didn’t have any incentive to immediately do so. (If her XO had been the commander, she still would have shot him in the head if she decided it was necessary.)
What troubles me is that, you know, THESE ARE 100% OF OUR GAY CHARACTERS. My GOD, their gloaty ex-love interests who were too straight for them are Baltar and Six, this might have been subconscious but it can’t be coincidental. BSG was clearly lacking in a WHAT THE FUCK person. Someone to sit in the writer’s room and say WHAT THE FUCK? DO YOU PEOPLE EVEN HEAR YOURSELVES TALK? WERE YOU RAISED BY HOMOPHOBIC WOLVES? I’m pretty sure I said this back talking about Razor, but I really believe it would not bother me anywhere near so much if there were gay characters who were not vengeful murderers.
The show pounds home the Kara/Lee and Bill/Laura parallels when Bill and Laura decide to press pause in the middle of this whole government overthrow to be adorable horny teenagers for a second because doesn’t it feel good to be alive? Even if it’s just for this moment right here right now. But OMG I had to pause the stream to laugh at Lee looking away from the wild makeout session. AWKWARD! GROSS, DAD, LIKE YOU DIDN’T GIVE ME ENOUGH OF A COMPLEX ALREADY.
I came here because I don’t want you to worry about me, and I know what you have to do. Because this is who they are, because they have come together over the good fight and to expect each other to sacrifice it would destroy them and the reason they matter to each other. And that’s all very moving, except, what the fuck? He doesn’t have to do that! If they would just haul ass into the plane, everyone would survive, unless the marines thought to bring a plane down with them through the corridors. The thing they have to worry about is a rebel pilot coming after them, and I’m skeptical as to how them getting shot to shit on the deck is going to cover that vulnerability.
I’m really unconvinced. You don’t have the guts to do it yourself. They want to die in battle and this is probably their last chance. Sacrifice is admirable when necessary, needless self-destruction is tragic when the person doesn’t have Adama’s and Tigh’s responsibilities, and shameful when they do. They’re the two top officers, the CAG is down for the count and Athena indisposed and who knows how many other casualties, Starbuck is crawling through an air duct somewhere, I know we don’t know all the officers but most of them are likely to be loyalists, so there’s a good chance Gaeta would rightfully have command of the ship if they died.
This cliffhanger is bullshit, though. It’s insulting me as much as a viewer as when Kara “died” in Maelstrom. OH LIKE YOU WOULD REALLY DO IT. If it were just Tigh, I would be in suspense. If it were Tyrol, I would be in suspense and worried. BUT BILL ADAMA AND HIS MAN PAIN MUST GO ON. Helo I am a little worried about but he has improbably survived all this time POWERED ONLY BY RIGHTEOUS SINCERITY; I am somewhat nervously anticipating Gaeta and/or Zarek might exeunt stage airlock at the Dramatic Conclusion. YOU CAN HAVE ZAREK, SHOW; LEAVE ME MY HOT GAY MASTERMIND.
Blood on the Scales
This is another episode that had brilliant moments for the characters I love, and the ones I’m slowly and painfully coming to love, but it is just so fucking horrible. This, really, is where they become the enemy. What Gaeta and Zarek unquestionably did was terrible and inexcusable and probably unforgivable. BUT. I am not just saying this because I like Gaeta and find Zarek sleazily hilarious, but THEY GET A FUCKING TRIAL. Not execution out of vengeance and rage. Oh, yeah, they are DEFINITELY guilty, and maybe they are just too dangerous to be allowed to live, but if fucking Baltar got a trial, so do they.
And I expect this kind of crap from Bill by now, to be honest, because IMO he has supplanted Tigh as the WORST. But Roslin? Lee? I expected better from these two. SHAME. They have every right to be pissed. They don’t have any right at all to turn around and become Zarek. It doesn’t matter what they’re doing to him and Gaeta what he tried to have done to them and a while back Gaeta, and Gaeta tried to do to Bill, and let’s not forget Bill had his own military coup incident a while back. OH RIGHT I FORGOT the rule of law only matters if nobody involved as hurt Lee Adama’s pweshus fee-fees OKAY TRIED TO MURDER HIM BUT THE POINT STANDS. LEE I WAS STARTING TO LIKE YOU! WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS?!?! (I still love my Laura so I should try not to hold it against him BUT IT IS A STRUGGLE. I want to just let myself be totally biased and irrational about her and deal with it. Yes, this has been me holding back all this time.)
Even IF you accept the tenuous-at-best proposition that Gaeta’s fate is in Bill’s hands because he’s a soldier and his violations were all on board the Galactica, Zarek is not just a civilian, but a high-ranking government official. A disgusting murdering terrorist excuse for a civilian government official, but still. If Adama can have him killed without even the pretense of due process, what they have is the banana republic Zarek has spent all these years running around yelling that they have. (Zarek loves his self-fulfilling prophecies; this gets mirrored with the lies he keeps telling about Bill and Saul being dead, so he can have a chance to kill them.)
Even politically! What the fuck kind of huge mistake is this? Enough members of the fleet are loyal to Roslin and Adama, even more of them will be horrified at the bloodshed perpetrated by Zarek and Gaeta, but there are enough of them who agree with these two that the Cylons should be stopped at any cost and as we just saw, you don’t need everyone to be bloodthirsty and awful to have major bloodshed. What, are they going to shoot all the renegades, they don’t even know who they all were.
I mean, the episodes are great on some level. The characters needed to find themselves again, and they seem to only be able to do that by fighting. And Gaeta and Zarek are the best antagonists this show has ever seen bar none, and it’s a resonant touch that they’re shot instead of airlocked, to emphasize that this is not a crime borne of the genocide. But this is utterly demoralizing. Also, ISN’T THAT NICE, that both of our gay characters ended up BOTH BAD AND DEAD. RAISED. BY. WOLVES.
Obviously I almost passed out with joy at the scenes of Laura in the base ship. “Use the fleet for cover” LAURA THE MILITARY STRATEGIST so awesome even before Zarek calls it out. She knows they’ll use the Final Five’s lives as insurance just as Lee did a few episodes ago. She says “we” to include the rebel Cylons in her forces. She’s always been a little bit Churchill but DAMN. NOT NOW, NOT EVER. DO YOU HEAR ME? I will use every cannon, every bob, every bullet, I will fight you in the beaches, I will fight you on the landing grounds, I will fight you in the artillery and on the deck and in the CIC and I will airlock you my damn self if I have to. I just love that we got one last face-off between Zarek and Roslin. This is the president! No, THIS is the president! SHUT UP, I CALLED IT! Yeah, well, SURRENDER DOROTHY!!!!! He’s one of the very few characters that was ever any kind of match for her, really. In fact it is so great that it kind of feels like a swan song for President Roslin (though maybe not Laura Roslin herself), especially now that she’s skipped treatments so many times in the last couple of weeks that there’s probably no going back, and she has just one unchallenged political successor.
Even Lampkin, I did not want to punch in the face even once, I actually really enjoyed him here. His face as they’re leading him down the corridor is just priceless. I shouldn’t laugh at a man with a gun to his head, but he is rolling his eyes. And then! “Objection, he’s badgering the witness,” I absolutely lost it at the idea of bringing up a point of order in this farce. If he’s gonna stall these fuckers, he’s gonna do it right, dammit. I’m just surprised he didn’t move to have any testimony suppressed. And what do you know, the pen is mightier than the sword. Or the assault rifle. And he can’t pretend to be the slimy disinterested guy he wants people to think he is, and I laughed so hard when he tries to force himself to walk out on Kara and Sam.
I loved the idea of the court-martial overall. It all sounds good, and lord knows Adama has deserved at least a few of those charges in the past including treason, but forming a lawful alliance is not treason; it is neither illegal nor unconscionable. Just like the Baltar trial (only in this case, there aren’t billions of uncharged deaths lurking in the background). Isn’t our boy a formalist, though? Adama gets a court martial. He gets a firing squad. AND THE UNNECESSARILY SLOW DIPPING MECHANISM. Zarek is like, I HAVE A GUN. IN MY ROOM. GIVE ME FIVE SECONDS. Gaeta really is in it for what he sees as justice, though, he just wants to be sure it’s meted out, not like Baltar’s trial, where nobody fucking listened to him; oh, they’re gonna listen now. Commander Gaeta will represent the people. It’s a great twisted take on that phrase “if you want peace, work for justice” - for whatever values of peace and justice you want to use. Plus it brought us this line: “I did bathe and wash them. Cook their meals. I love the enemy.” Snerk.
Back in Zarek’s home court, though, there’s no such pretense. You just know he’s going to have them murdered but it’s still shocking when it happens, and we see the carnage just to drive it home. I liked the touch that it was the delegate from Saggitarion standing up and throwing “Mr. Vice-President” in Zarek’s face; the man from the home world whose “revolution” he selfishly claimed as his own. This isn’t what Gaeta wanted, but he knows it’s what he signed on for when he made his alliance with Zarek. He didn’t say anything when Zarek clobbered the deck hand, but he can’t look at the bodies of the Colonial government and not say anything, and I think this is the thing that causes him to hold fire at the end. “We had the truth on our side and now…”/”The truth is told by whoever’s left standing.” But Gaeta is a scientist; the truth is hard and real and quantifiable regardless of whether you recognize it, and this is wrong.
I so richly enjoyed that silent moment of Kara slamming the guy into the urinals, and handing Lee his gun. THESE TWO. WHEN DID THEY CONVINCE ME? It probably has something to do with this type of cuteness: “I never pulled the pin.”/”Not funny.”/”Yeah, but it woulda been if you’d thought of it.”/”NOT FUNNY!” Oh these two wacky kids playing at quelling an insurrection. The arc totally works its magic about the love dodecahedron of doom, though, because even though he’s one of the characters at the heart of this whole thing, I almost completely forgot about Anders until he gets shot.
Maybe fitting that there’s not a whole lot here to say about any of the Cylons, since this is purely a drama about the horrors of humanity. TYROL SAVES THE FUCKING DAY. With his own dirty hands. Because oh, someone took the time to shut him out of the system; whether it was Bill when he left for the base star or Gaeta just now is almost irrelevant. I was SO FUCKING WORRIED about him, I thought they sent someone to the engine room before they took back over and he was just hanging out down there unarmed. Less of a great part for Tigh than the first half, but worth noting that the rebels keep differentiating Tigh from the other humanoid Cylons. We hear both “put Tigh with the Cylons” (not the other Cylons) and “Tigh and the skin jobs escaped.” It’s not that they’ve forgotten he’s a Cylon, I don’t think, so much as the idea of the top brass lining up behind the alliance pisses them off even more than his actually being a Cylon.
I don’t think Baltar realized how important Gaeta was to him, even after Felix waved the gun in his face on New Caprica; this catastrophe is making him have his own reckoning with himself in a way even facing the airlock didn’t. He’s damaged. He wants both his legs cut off, because I ran. Again. (Though this is a time when running was the right choice, he can be helpful off-ship, but wasn’t going to be much use in the battle.) Have to say, Baltar’s pointless dream is another cheap shot, and it was a disappointing waste of time in an episode that was building the suspense just fine without it.
Oh, my heart, Baltar hearing Gaeta’s confession. No lecturing, no proselytizing, just actually looking and listening, and that’s the only kindness right now. “Felix-“/”No. And please, no religion. I’m fine with how things have worked out, really, Gaius, I am.” I’ve accepted what’s happening, but I don’t want you to worry about me. Have we ever heard them use first names before? They’re really getting beautiful shots and music, regardless of how you read it there’s an understanding between these men of science and ego and unbelievable foolhardiness and such fallible humanity. “I just hope that people realize, eventually, who I am.” And that’s such a big part of why this could all happen, because nobody knew, but I don’t think Baltar is lying when he says he knows. He’s just never bothered to raise that knowledge to the surface.
In contrast to Cain, I don’t think Gaeta wanted himself to die any more than he wanted anyone else to die, but he resigned himself to the possibility before he ever propositioned Zarek. He accepted the risk just as he accepted some bloodletting was necessary, and maybe he wanted the thrill as much as he wanted his pound of flesh from Adama, but I don’t think this is what he wanted. I think he’s just….fine with it. It stopped.
other thoughts
The Oath
MY FAVORITES ARE BACK! ALL OF THEM! Except for Gaeta, but he is up there with Cain in terms of fabulous villain badassery, so we’ll let that slide. (Sidebar, I talk about this kid so much, my spellcheck recognizes his name.) LAURA HBIC AGAIN. KARA HERO SHOT. ZAREK ALL SLIMY AND DANGEROUS. TYROL BAMF. BALTAR BEING ALL SELF-CONGRATULATORY AND HILARIOUS BUT STILL COMING THROUGH. My stealth new loves are awesome here too. Tigh is fantastic! And Revelations Lee!
And yet, my heroes being heroic again comes at such a huge price. There’s no earth to find, and the nasty Cylons have vanished (for now) and these people don’t know how to rally except in opposition to an enemy. So the renegade Colonials abandon all reason in order to cling to the idea of the Cylons as the enemy, and the loyalists use this as the kick in the ass to pull themselves together. I enjoyed this episode so much, but underneath it all is this achingly dark proposition that we need to turn on each other just to become ourselves and that’s way worse than Earth having been a desolate shithole. All we have is our oaths, our words; we can police each other all we want but who guards the guards?
GAETA WHAT ARE YOU DOING. IF YOU WERE JUST GOING AFTER LEOBEN, THAT WOULD BE ONE THING, BUT THIS IS UNTOWARD. THIS IS NOT TOWARD! (I’m joking about Leoben. Mostly.) All that yakking I did about lurking vindictive badass Gaeta, and I never thought we would actually get to see it TY ALL FOR RESISTING THE URGE TO SPOIL. I am LOVING the character payoff here. To his slide into disillusionment, to his deception of Baltar, to the ease with which he shrugged off the jailbreak, lied on the stand, and overthrew Starbuck, even to his frustration that he has to take the brunt of Tigh’s ire and put up with everyone calling him “Mr. Gaeta” - he was a lieutenant when we met him, and if he hasn’t been promoted all this time, that’s yet another insult. He’s been so right so many times and had to buck authority to make things right, he now thinks that bucking authority is the same as making things right, which makes him a smarter, colder match for Zarek. And he totally gets off on it, he loves arresting Adama, and barking out orders rather than loyally parroting someone else’s, and flipping Starbuck the bird when he gives himself away hanging up on her.
Unfortunately Zarek is the worst. I know a little about revolution, Mr. Gaeta. Of course he really doesn’t; his meaningless nihilist “revolution” failed, and he’s only alive because he was in prison where he belonged for pulling these stunts before the attack. He’s shut out once again and just loves being the one to destroy the government instead of doing the tiresome work of propping one up.
It is pretty awful and shocking that he was still locked up at this point. Such a dark twist on KLG - Home! Oh, sure, Bill had pretense to lock up Zarek, but it was pretense and it was wrong. So he makes an alliance with a disaffected officer and they make a run for it. (Also, THIS PLACE HAS REALLY GONE DOWNHILL, DO THEY JUST LET ANYONE IN THIS BRIG, that Gaeta can waltz in and out like this? I know he talked some of the marines onto his side, but they do have cameras, surely someone loyal to Adama would notice if they were all being turned off?) And then Gaeta turns around and does the exact same thing to Bill. Really, they are almost exactly the same actions as have been taken by the protagonists at one time or the other and I was cheering my fool head off. There’s nothing either good or bad but context and reason and careful examination makes it so.
The comparison is especially poignant given that this is what Lee was recruited for. Zarek needs a partner. He doesn’t even need a reason to rebel, he just needs a co-conspirator who can shoot straight. He thought he saw an opening with Lee, saw how easily Lampkin played him and slithered right on in there with the promise of high office; he didn’t count on Lee actually believing in the system no matter how furious it makes him. He even tries to push those same buttons Lampkin did - honor thy father or be true to your oath - but Lee’s found himself a little too much for this to work. Zarek plays Lee to get him off the ship, yeah, but his goal was to win Lee over.
Laura gets one of her adorable understatements. “The fleet has never been comfortable with the Cylon amnesty thing.” Never? They’ve had, like, a week to get used to it. Again, this isn’t straight-up xenophobia, even if it is tied up with people venting their rage at the Cylons as scapegoats. Some of these potential citizens really did KILL ALL OF THEIR FUCKING FAMILIES, they’re allowed to have a couple of days not to be wild about the idea of having them in their homes. They’re not in on what’s going on like we are! They don’t know Anders or Tyrol, and they only know Tigh from that time he TOOK OVER THE FLEET BY FORCE AND STARTED SHOOTING AT THEM. They’re allowed to be skeptical for a goddamn week. Zarek, as ever, senses a reason for discontent and turns it into a rationalization for terrorism, and those things should be separated, but the reasons are real.
I’m really glad this perspective did get some airing without the rebellion being excused, with Lee of all people bringing it up. He goes a little unfairly too far, when he lumps Tigh and Tyrol in with the other Cylons who “annihilated the human race,” but people do feel that way with legitimate reason. He’s also not dealing with it the way Gaeta and Zarek are, he voices support for the alliance as a practical matter (let’s move forward together my ass, I knew that was bullshit) and tries to help calm the rebellion in the smartest way possible, which shows that there’s disagreement that’s not just a flimsy pretext for unforgivable violence. (I do find it a little more worrisome that Mr. Civil Liberties himself tries to sell the Quorum on the idea that “agitating against a lawful order“ is a crime worthy of indefinite military detention.) He did grant the amnesty and set the alliance in motion, he’s not as much about actually venting his rage on folks when it’s foolish anymore, but you’re damned right he has a problem, and I would too.
Laura tries to dodge her job but it’s crap; she knows her responsibilities, but she also loves working and can’t quite keep herself out of politics, which is good. Lee has talent but right now is way outmatched in the Quorum. This isn’t crisis stuff, and this isn’t him getting to act on his own solid instincts, this is knowing when to keep his mouth shut. Which. HELP US LAURA ROSLIN YOU’RE OUR ONLY HOPE, THE FLEET IS TRULY DOOMED, ET CETERA ET CETERA. But she bounces back at Lee’s prodding (SO MUCH LOVE for this relationship) to herself at her toughest. “I will do whatever it takes, and I will not allow Tom Zarek to assume the presidency under any circumstances.” THAT’S MY GIRL! EEEE!
And speaking of, oh, Lee, there’s my good, brave boy who I knew was in there somewhere. WHAT THE FUCK TOOK YOU SO LONG? OTHER PEOPLE LEARN TO BE GOOD WITHOUT HAVING SOMEONE HAND THEM THE PRESIDENCY AFTER THE FUCKING WORLD EXPLODES ON THEM. C’MON, SON! I feel like if I could just accept the juvenile proposition that the world revolves around Lee Adama because he’s young and male and healthy (well, physically) and Caprican and wealthy and is just LEE! MOTHERFUCKIN! ADAMA! all over then I could straightforwardly enjoy his story. As it is, though I am obviously engaged in his story and actually coming around to liking him LEE DON’T FUCK THIS UP, he’s also partially a story of someone whose unexamined privilege is as huge as his intentions are good, and partially a story of all the wasted potential in the world. How many people with Lee’s skills and brains and goodness are dying of misery in the tillium factory? He’s rare, but he’s not singular.
STARBUCK HERO SHOT! THE BITCH IS BACK! “Take it from someone who died once, it’s no fun. *blam* I could do this all day.” Kara’s mother has won out here, which is quite tragic no matter how much I love seeing warrior Kara again. She needs someone to fight against to be her sharpest, most enthusiastic self. They are not your men anymore, they are the enemy. And she pulls it together to get Lee into the fight, connecting the wild kiss she initiates with him with the fight and their wonderful partnership, inspiring Lee to take off his tie before he finishes wiping the blood off his face. The politician is colder than the soldier ever was.
This is really about our main cast finding themselves again (well, except for Gaeta), but we have a big enough pool to put names and faces on the individual victims. Anders is sweet and trusting and doesn’t see it coming. Helo is a dumbass about it, and ends up with a wound almost identical to the one he gave Thorn, after hearing another rape threat to Athena. “You want me, fine, just leave them out of it.” But it’s Sharon they want; Helo is a bonus. And of course Six thinks this is about her. It’s not about procreation, though I’m sure that was a scare line Gaeta and Zarek used if they had to. People are scared. I do worry about Nicky, if people still think he’s Tyrol’s son. (That still feels like a bullshit retcon because they want Hera to be special for some reason, and so they eliminated Tyrol’s bio-paternity, but, whatever.)
Tyrol the resistance leader is back, HE IS THE GROWN-UP NEVILLE LONGBOTTOM, and he’s the one who facilitates the escape, for no other reason than that it’s right. “I got people all over this ship giving me information.” Some of them are violently freaking out; some of them have realized that they know and trust Tyrol, whatever he is. He’s not in it for his own life or citizenship or any selfish motives. It’s the right thing to do and he steps up. And that’s how he knew to go down to Baltar’s, someone Gaeta approached tipped him off.
Interesting Tigh stuff going on in this episode. Fittingly enough, he’s there with Bill at the very beginning and end of the episode, and starts out surprisingly politic and calm. “Given the fleet’s mood toward Cylons, you might not want me taking point on this.” Unfortunate, but wise. Not that Saul can’t handle it, if someone’s watching out for the remote triggers (and I do believe Athena, if not all the rebels, would know to be keeping an eye) then he’s safe, but appearances do matter, as much as they shouldn’t. But it’s not self-loathing, as we find out with his crack about “Zarek’s anti-Cylon bull.” The same anti-Cylon bull Tigh spouted until he found out he was one OOPS! I think that’s as much about the fact that it’s Zarek’s bull than that it’s anti-Cylon bull, but still. And then we get a Bill and Saul bro-fight where they get the better of three younger armed men which is just fantastic. We see why they clicked all those years ago.
Gaius would make me laugh out loud at civil war. I have no desire to leave you, BUT I AM GOING TO HEAD FOR THE HILLS ANYWAY, BALTAR OUT, BITCHEZ. And Laura would think to go get Gaius, and he would mumble on about proportionate measures. And then oh lord throwing his god in Laura’s face after Earth, and Laura tells him to get his head out of his bible. I want to type out this whole exchange and be like GOOD SO GOOD but faster to just say it’s awesome. Roslin and Baltar going toe to toe is enough on its own to make an episode worthwhile, but with the two of them finally having it out on equal footing, it snaps even in an exciting episode. Neither of them has any reason to hold back, not least because they have every reason to cooperate, calling back to the very first time they teamed up back in Colonial Day to stop Zarek. See how we all get along, when we want to execute someone else instead of each other? I bet Laura used to have that on a poster in her classroom.
Baltar, for all his snippiness, gets his very own possible hero moment when he decides to use his powers of logic, charm, and sheer craven flattery to try and get Gaeta to stand down. And Gaeta is like “I TOLD YOU NOT TO CALL ME HERE!” and Baltar is like “but baby I want you back!” and Gaeta isn’t having it and so he’s all “YOU HAD YOUR CHANCE! I am so embarrassed I was ever SEEN with you! And just so you know, it isn’t that common, it doesn’t happen to every guy, and it is a big deal!” and Baltar is like “Okay, I’LL KEEP YOUR SPECIAL PEN MY DIRTY LITTLE SECRET. Oh, are we on speakerphone? Hi, Mrs. Gaeta! How’s the book club?” Okay not quite but SUBTEXT.
In seriousness, I compared Gaeta to Cain up there, and now I have to get all verbose about it because I think it’s purposeful but also problematic and anyway WHAT ARE YOU, NEW HERE? They’re not all that different. The Cylons are the enemy and should be forevermore, and it doesn’t matter if we fall apart and murder each other on our way down because war is our purpose. Adama’s in the way, so kill him. Cain hardened herself into this mold immediately after the attacks, Gaeta’s chosen to go down this road after multiple traumas inflicted by other humans. I don’t doubt that Cain would have staged the takeover Gaeta did - in fact, we know she considered taking over Galactica -but because of her rank she didn’t have any incentive to immediately do so. (If her XO had been the commander, she still would have shot him in the head if she decided it was necessary.)
What troubles me is that, you know, THESE ARE 100% OF OUR GAY CHARACTERS. My GOD, their gloaty ex-love interests who were too straight for them are Baltar and Six, this might have been subconscious but it can’t be coincidental. BSG was clearly lacking in a WHAT THE FUCK person. Someone to sit in the writer’s room and say WHAT THE FUCK? DO YOU PEOPLE EVEN HEAR YOURSELVES TALK? WERE YOU RAISED BY HOMOPHOBIC WOLVES? I’m pretty sure I said this back talking about Razor, but I really believe it would not bother me anywhere near so much if there were gay characters who were not vengeful murderers.
The show pounds home the Kara/Lee and Bill/Laura parallels when Bill and Laura decide to press pause in the middle of this whole government overthrow to be adorable horny teenagers for a second because doesn’t it feel good to be alive? Even if it’s just for this moment right here right now. But OMG I had to pause the stream to laugh at Lee looking away from the wild makeout session. AWKWARD! GROSS, DAD, LIKE YOU DIDN’T GIVE ME ENOUGH OF A COMPLEX ALREADY.
I came here because I don’t want you to worry about me, and I know what you have to do. Because this is who they are, because they have come together over the good fight and to expect each other to sacrifice it would destroy them and the reason they matter to each other. And that’s all very moving, except, what the fuck? He doesn’t have to do that! If they would just haul ass into the plane, everyone would survive, unless the marines thought to bring a plane down with them through the corridors. The thing they have to worry about is a rebel pilot coming after them, and I’m skeptical as to how them getting shot to shit on the deck is going to cover that vulnerability.
I’m really unconvinced. You don’t have the guts to do it yourself. They want to die in battle and this is probably their last chance. Sacrifice is admirable when necessary, needless self-destruction is tragic when the person doesn’t have Adama’s and Tigh’s responsibilities, and shameful when they do. They’re the two top officers, the CAG is down for the count and Athena indisposed and who knows how many other casualties, Starbuck is crawling through an air duct somewhere, I know we don’t know all the officers but most of them are likely to be loyalists, so there’s a good chance Gaeta would rightfully have command of the ship if they died.
This cliffhanger is bullshit, though. It’s insulting me as much as a viewer as when Kara “died” in Maelstrom. OH LIKE YOU WOULD REALLY DO IT. If it were just Tigh, I would be in suspense. If it were Tyrol, I would be in suspense and worried. BUT BILL ADAMA AND HIS MAN PAIN MUST GO ON. Helo I am a little worried about but he has improbably survived all this time POWERED ONLY BY RIGHTEOUS SINCERITY; I am somewhat nervously anticipating Gaeta and/or Zarek might exeunt stage airlock at the Dramatic Conclusion. YOU CAN HAVE ZAREK, SHOW; LEAVE ME MY HOT GAY MASTERMIND.
Blood on the Scales
This is another episode that had brilliant moments for the characters I love, and the ones I’m slowly and painfully coming to love, but it is just so fucking horrible. This, really, is where they become the enemy. What Gaeta and Zarek unquestionably did was terrible and inexcusable and probably unforgivable. BUT. I am not just saying this because I like Gaeta and find Zarek sleazily hilarious, but THEY GET A FUCKING TRIAL. Not execution out of vengeance and rage. Oh, yeah, they are DEFINITELY guilty, and maybe they are just too dangerous to be allowed to live, but if fucking Baltar got a trial, so do they.
And I expect this kind of crap from Bill by now, to be honest, because IMO he has supplanted Tigh as the WORST. But Roslin? Lee? I expected better from these two. SHAME. They have every right to be pissed. They don’t have any right at all to turn around and become Zarek. It doesn’t matter what they’re doing to him and Gaeta what he tried to have done to them and a while back Gaeta, and Gaeta tried to do to Bill, and let’s not forget Bill had his own military coup incident a while back. OH RIGHT I FORGOT the rule of law only matters if nobody involved as hurt Lee Adama’s pweshus fee-fees OKAY TRIED TO MURDER HIM BUT THE POINT STANDS. LEE I WAS STARTING TO LIKE YOU! WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS?!?! (I still love my Laura so I should try not to hold it against him BUT IT IS A STRUGGLE. I want to just let myself be totally biased and irrational about her and deal with it. Yes, this has been me holding back all this time.)
Even IF you accept the tenuous-at-best proposition that Gaeta’s fate is in Bill’s hands because he’s a soldier and his violations were all on board the Galactica, Zarek is not just a civilian, but a high-ranking government official. A disgusting murdering terrorist excuse for a civilian government official, but still. If Adama can have him killed without even the pretense of due process, what they have is the banana republic Zarek has spent all these years running around yelling that they have. (Zarek loves his self-fulfilling prophecies; this gets mirrored with the lies he keeps telling about Bill and Saul being dead, so he can have a chance to kill them.)
Even politically! What the fuck kind of huge mistake is this? Enough members of the fleet are loyal to Roslin and Adama, even more of them will be horrified at the bloodshed perpetrated by Zarek and Gaeta, but there are enough of them who agree with these two that the Cylons should be stopped at any cost and as we just saw, you don’t need everyone to be bloodthirsty and awful to have major bloodshed. What, are they going to shoot all the renegades, they don’t even know who they all were.
I mean, the episodes are great on some level. The characters needed to find themselves again, and they seem to only be able to do that by fighting. And Gaeta and Zarek are the best antagonists this show has ever seen bar none, and it’s a resonant touch that they’re shot instead of airlocked, to emphasize that this is not a crime borne of the genocide. But this is utterly demoralizing. Also, ISN’T THAT NICE, that both of our gay characters ended up BOTH BAD AND DEAD. RAISED. BY. WOLVES.
Obviously I almost passed out with joy at the scenes of Laura in the base ship. “Use the fleet for cover” LAURA THE MILITARY STRATEGIST so awesome even before Zarek calls it out. She knows they’ll use the Final Five’s lives as insurance just as Lee did a few episodes ago. She says “we” to include the rebel Cylons in her forces. She’s always been a little bit Churchill but DAMN. NOT NOW, NOT EVER. DO YOU HEAR ME? I will use every cannon, every bob, every bullet, I will fight you in the beaches, I will fight you on the landing grounds, I will fight you in the artillery and on the deck and in the CIC and I will airlock you my damn self if I have to. I just love that we got one last face-off between Zarek and Roslin. This is the president! No, THIS is the president! SHUT UP, I CALLED IT! Yeah, well, SURRENDER DOROTHY!!!!! He’s one of the very few characters that was ever any kind of match for her, really. In fact it is so great that it kind of feels like a swan song for President Roslin (though maybe not Laura Roslin herself), especially now that she’s skipped treatments so many times in the last couple of weeks that there’s probably no going back, and she has just one unchallenged political successor.
Even Lampkin, I did not want to punch in the face even once, I actually really enjoyed him here. His face as they’re leading him down the corridor is just priceless. I shouldn’t laugh at a man with a gun to his head, but he is rolling his eyes. And then! “Objection, he’s badgering the witness,” I absolutely lost it at the idea of bringing up a point of order in this farce. If he’s gonna stall these fuckers, he’s gonna do it right, dammit. I’m just surprised he didn’t move to have any testimony suppressed. And what do you know, the pen is mightier than the sword. Or the assault rifle. And he can’t pretend to be the slimy disinterested guy he wants people to think he is, and I laughed so hard when he tries to force himself to walk out on Kara and Sam.
I loved the idea of the court-martial overall. It all sounds good, and lord knows Adama has deserved at least a few of those charges in the past including treason, but forming a lawful alliance is not treason; it is neither illegal nor unconscionable. Just like the Baltar trial (only in this case, there aren’t billions of uncharged deaths lurking in the background). Isn’t our boy a formalist, though? Adama gets a court martial. He gets a firing squad. AND THE UNNECESSARILY SLOW DIPPING MECHANISM. Zarek is like, I HAVE A GUN. IN MY ROOM. GIVE ME FIVE SECONDS. Gaeta really is in it for what he sees as justice, though, he just wants to be sure it’s meted out, not like Baltar’s trial, where nobody fucking listened to him; oh, they’re gonna listen now. Commander Gaeta will represent the people. It’s a great twisted take on that phrase “if you want peace, work for justice” - for whatever values of peace and justice you want to use. Plus it brought us this line: “I did bathe and wash them. Cook their meals. I love the enemy.” Snerk.
Back in Zarek’s home court, though, there’s no such pretense. You just know he’s going to have them murdered but it’s still shocking when it happens, and we see the carnage just to drive it home. I liked the touch that it was the delegate from Saggitarion standing up and throwing “Mr. Vice-President” in Zarek’s face; the man from the home world whose “revolution” he selfishly claimed as his own. This isn’t what Gaeta wanted, but he knows it’s what he signed on for when he made his alliance with Zarek. He didn’t say anything when Zarek clobbered the deck hand, but he can’t look at the bodies of the Colonial government and not say anything, and I think this is the thing that causes him to hold fire at the end. “We had the truth on our side and now…”/”The truth is told by whoever’s left standing.” But Gaeta is a scientist; the truth is hard and real and quantifiable regardless of whether you recognize it, and this is wrong.
I so richly enjoyed that silent moment of Kara slamming the guy into the urinals, and handing Lee his gun. THESE TWO. WHEN DID THEY CONVINCE ME? It probably has something to do with this type of cuteness: “I never pulled the pin.”/”Not funny.”/”Yeah, but it woulda been if you’d thought of it.”/”NOT FUNNY!” Oh these two wacky kids playing at quelling an insurrection. The arc totally works its magic about the love dodecahedron of doom, though, because even though he’s one of the characters at the heart of this whole thing, I almost completely forgot about Anders until he gets shot.
Maybe fitting that there’s not a whole lot here to say about any of the Cylons, since this is purely a drama about the horrors of humanity. TYROL SAVES THE FUCKING DAY. With his own dirty hands. Because oh, someone took the time to shut him out of the system; whether it was Bill when he left for the base star or Gaeta just now is almost irrelevant. I was SO FUCKING WORRIED about him, I thought they sent someone to the engine room before they took back over and he was just hanging out down there unarmed. Less of a great part for Tigh than the first half, but worth noting that the rebels keep differentiating Tigh from the other humanoid Cylons. We hear both “put Tigh with the Cylons” (not the other Cylons) and “Tigh and the skin jobs escaped.” It’s not that they’ve forgotten he’s a Cylon, I don’t think, so much as the idea of the top brass lining up behind the alliance pisses them off even more than his actually being a Cylon.
I don’t think Baltar realized how important Gaeta was to him, even after Felix waved the gun in his face on New Caprica; this catastrophe is making him have his own reckoning with himself in a way even facing the airlock didn’t. He’s damaged. He wants both his legs cut off, because I ran. Again. (Though this is a time when running was the right choice, he can be helpful off-ship, but wasn’t going to be much use in the battle.) Have to say, Baltar’s pointless dream is another cheap shot, and it was a disappointing waste of time in an episode that was building the suspense just fine without it.
Oh, my heart, Baltar hearing Gaeta’s confession. No lecturing, no proselytizing, just actually looking and listening, and that’s the only kindness right now. “Felix-“/”No. And please, no religion. I’m fine with how things have worked out, really, Gaius, I am.” I’ve accepted what’s happening, but I don’t want you to worry about me. Have we ever heard them use first names before? They’re really getting beautiful shots and music, regardless of how you read it there’s an understanding between these men of science and ego and unbelievable foolhardiness and such fallible humanity. “I just hope that people realize, eventually, who I am.” And that’s such a big part of why this could all happen, because nobody knew, but I don’t think Baltar is lying when he says he knows. He’s just never bothered to raise that knowledge to the surface.
In contrast to Cain, I don’t think Gaeta wanted himself to die any more than he wanted anyone else to die, but he resigned himself to the possibility before he ever propositioned Zarek. He accepted the risk just as he accepted some bloodletting was necessary, and maybe he wanted the thrill as much as he wanted his pound of flesh from Adama, but I don’t think this is what he wanted. I think he’s just….fine with it. It stopped.
other thoughts
- I cannot fail to point out LEE IN THIS ARC in the suit with the gun, which raises the VERY SERIOUS QUESTION of why Jamie Bamber is not James Bond. Someone explain this to me, because IDGI. Great range, great at action, can hit a punch line, that sharp cold smile he breaks out that just chills you to the bone, can wear a goddamn suit like no one’s business, smooth as silk voice, oh we are so missing out. I WISH TO SPEAK TO THE MANAGER OF THIS ESTABLISHMENT.
- I just adore Six’s natural hair color. I’m not aesthetically sold on the platinum, though from a story/wardrobing perspective I understand and really like the choice of it. I literally would not change a hair on Tricia Helfer’s head, is my point here.
- I was using “pound of flesh” colloquially up there, but this really could be a tragic spin on a lot of elements of Merchant of Venice. That’s got to be deliberate, right, that Gaeta wants people to pay without the bloodshed? IF YOU SHOOT ANDERS, DOES HE NOT BLEED? (That speech is actually perfect in this context - Shylock doesn’t claim anything about sameness in essential being so much as about shared crucial experiences, which can work for the skin jobs without equating the human-Cylon conflict with real-world systemic marginalization.) Though I would compare Zarek with Iago, rather than any Merchant characters. I am trying not to think of Richard III and the very unfortunate evil cripple implications, because if my head explodes I shall be very cross. Normally I wince when people say something is “Shakespearean” but it’s kind of tough to avoid here.
- When did Bill become the worst for me? I think it was around Hero and ADitL, not because of what he thought he did, but (a) because he made the nuclear holocaust about HIM, he makes his spawn look self-effacing, and (b) because that was when I figured out just how fucking terrified Lee was of him and yet they were both still giving him credit for being the less violent parent. In conclusion, LEELAND??!? I KNOW YOU WERE DRAGGED UP BY HIT MEN, BUT REALLY, WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU, BILL? (I still love A/R, though, go figure.)
- Was that dirty joke Zarek was telling as he got off the plane something about frak him/he’s not my type? OOOH, FORESHADOWING.
- I’m glad this didn’t happen, but has anyone imagined an AU where Lee blew Zarek’s head off back in Bastille Day? It’s funny; due to the chain of events caused in part by Zarek being the wicked Joker, Lee is now exactly the man who would have done just that. Baltar getting involved in politics and going on to win the election and therefore everything that happened on New Caprica and thus the trial and Lee leaving the military and even getting his own start in politics. Without the betrayal of Laura’s cross-examination, that last one probably would have happened anyway, but the rest of those things have been crucial in his development and happened because of Zarek.
- What do we think Zarek was up to while Gaeta was having that last cigarette with Baltar? I don’t know if I want to pretend he was fucking with Lee’s head one last time, or that he and Laura were having it out. Or both.
- Zarek has always played the role of the Joker, really, coming in unexpectedly and fucking up everyone’s doilies. And now we’ve had Gaeta the Thief, stealing the ship. I doubt that was intentional, but it’s neat all the same.
- You know, if the whole thing with Laura’s cancer the first time around really was about her not getting early enough screenings, it probably would be treatable this time around, since it’s only had a couple of years (and likely only a few months) to return. I guess what I’m saying is suck it, asshole Caprican doctor; whatever this is, it’s so fast-growing there was no doing anything. Which is sad and horrible and SO NOT HER FAULT.
- I was so into the idea of Gaeta being a Cylon. It would’ve been even shinier after this arc. Oh well.