in which p is a kid-hating bitch!

[pocochina]

You all know what I love?  An exhortion by a non-feminist for feminists to be nicer young ladies,* and just remember how much we love babies.

It’s really telling to me that this person specifically chose a feminist blog on which to lecture people about the appropriate feelings to have towards children.  Because remember, this person has

Comments

part 2 because lj doesn't like long comments

[jadeserenity]

Lastly, I have to comment on the fact that you reiterated this point: Not everyone who took issue with it did so because they were not nice people; some of them just wanted to gently point out that they'd rather not have their PTSD triggered and that's why they sometimes don't react in the way mai'a thinks is helpful and could she maybe please not presume everyone is TAB. And, unfortunately, those concerns were not really addressed.

You are erasing numerous PWD who posted in that thread in this quote; I saw a lot of P/FWD's totally disagreeing with what you're saying here. Yes, quite a few also said that children are difficult for them to be around. Yes, that is important and needs to be acknowledged and worked with in our public spaces, the needs of children and the needs of PWD are both things that are not valued in our culture and that needs to change.

But there was no united front on this issue, many of the PWD who posted were completely pissed off that other PWD's were trying to speak for them and made a variety of points about their own way of finding a middle ground that included self care along with the personhood of children as well as that children were rather low on the list of things that set them off.

And I would also point out that if our concern is how to make public space safe both for children and for PWD that the best possible thing TAB people can do would be to do exactly what mai'a advised that you found so offensive: distract the child and give them something besides whatever is making them upset to think about, or at least just *not turning around and glaring at the parent and child*, which was specifically what mai’a was speaking to in that quote. I have no idea how that became her demanding women “do your duty and coo over babies!”

Re: part 2 because lj doesn't like long comments

[pocochina]

So....PWD are a monolith with exactly the same disabilities and tolerances for external influences on those disabilities, and pointing out the concerns of "some" (which is the word I used) is exactly the same as speaking definitively for "all," which is why there should be a "united front" when discussing a particular concern. When some people with some disabilities say they are able to do something, that means all PWD can and should, or should at least suck it up and stay silent when they're being lectured because they can't. That is a logic train that never runs anyone over. In related news, I'm so glad you're here to teach me about privilege.

Re: part 2 because lj doesn't like long comments

[jadeserenity]

They were people with the EXACT SAME disabilities, i.e. ones that are triggered by loud, sudden noises, or high pitched noises, or sudden and unpredictable movements and behavior (these are examples I got from the people commenting themselves)... That's the only reason why my comment makes any sense.

Also, your "some" was in the context of dividing off people who "were not nice people" from people who "don't want to have their ptsd triggered". Apparently what you meant was "some people with ptsd..." but that's not how it read. I misunderstood your meaning, my mistake.

Re: part 2 because lj doesn't like long comments

[pocochina]

That's not helpful. For starters, people have different triggers, different severity and predictability of triggers, and really, if people could control their triggers and make them go away, they'd already be doing it. You're implying with this comment that (a) all folks have the same presentations of a particular physical condition, (b) everyone has the same life circumstances which allow them to prioritize one symptom of one condition in treatment, and (c) that people live with unpleasant symptoms which could be ameliorated because they can't be bothered to do anything about them. That set of assumptions is not okay. It's used against PWD in order to deny accommodations or just outright erase.

And, well, I highly doubt there was a one-to-one debate on every particular disability. I'm not going to set out (another) list of examples, but it's not really relevant anyway. The point is that PWD should not be expected to do even more work than we already do on our conditions in order to be less of a burden for other people. mai'a did not consider this in her post, you did not consider this in your comment, and in doing so you and she (I am sure inadvertently) lumped people with particular presentations of particular disabilities which prevent them from acting the way she'd like them to in with people who need a reminder that kids are people. That is erasure.