in which p is a kid-hating bitch!

[pocochina]

You all know what I love?  An exhortion by a non-feminist for feminists to be nicer young ladies,* and just remember how much we love babies.

It’s really telling to me that this person specifically chose a feminist blog on which to lecture people about the appropriate feelings to have towards children.  Because remember, this person has

Comments

[pixxelpuss]

Here's my perspective. Kids are people. They live in the world. Should we protect them against actual harm? Absolutely. Does that mean they deserve to go anywhere? No.

I'm not welcome in operating rooms, or spaces specifically designed to be safe-spaces for a designated community, or restaurant kitchens or men's rooms, or honestly, most "kid-friendly" places unless I have a kid with me. There are cities passing laws preventing (situationally) childless adults from attending playgrounds or standing near schools.

In my opinion, there are and should be places that are similarly unwelcoming to children. This would honestly be less important if it weren't for the hordes of idiots who think that public spaces need to be dumbed down and policed to the level of appropriate for kids.

[pocochina]

Yeah. And the equation of that with sexism, racism, or the type of ageism that keeps people from earning a living is kind of insulting.

[pixxelpuss]

Yeah, I'm still plowing through the comments on the thread, and it's a bit fucking insulting. Kids GROW OUT OF being kids. Kids have varying degrees of agency. Kids are literally IMMATURE people. Development implies the passage from an immature state to a mature state

[pocochina]

And I'd LOVE to have a productive conversation about how society can BETTER SERVE families and thus diminish the way that women predominantly bear the burdens of parenthood, while men are more likely to reap the rewards.

I really agree. And unfortunately, one of the things impeding progress on that issue is the misconception that feminists, being kid-hating harpies, are REALLY the main threat to kids' well-being, not a threadbare social safety net, reproductive coercion into parenthood of people who don't want it, and a lack of regard for motherhood. I just don't have a lot of patience for someone who reinforces that based on cosmetic issues like ladies being rude given the opportunity to talk about the larger issues, which - SAY IT WITH ME, FOLKS - are consistently recognized as feminist issues.

[pixxelpuss]

Agreed.

Just got to the part where Tinfoil Hattie (who I usually LOVE) suggested that people who don't like kids just have something wrong with them, and are analogous to racists. FFS.

[pocochina]

Geez, kidless people are just so sensitive! Who would be annoyed at that?!? *eyeroll*

[pixxelpuss]

Don't get me started on the "Feminists don't care about Black girls" shit. I mean, I'm not denying that Feminist race-fail happens. But dude. Yeah, I forgot about suffrage only applying to white women, and all of those white-only abortion clinics and DV shelters and rape activists that feminism supports.

[pixxelpuss]

Excellent point! I hadn't noticed that. I was too busy being cranky about the ire directed at childfree folk in the first place.

Guys, I sympathize with Andrea Yates. Mothering is hard, especially psychologically when you have no support. Some of us who are not entirely patient and stable to begin with SHOULD NOT HAVE KIDS. Some others just don't want to, and congratulations to them on choosing to go their own way. Don't make that into Childfree Women are kid-hating mutants who should be dissected to discover the source of the problem. Acting like that is not only annoying ME, it's also pressuring more women who shouldn't have kids into having kids they don't want.

That said, I was just reading an "Asians aren't a real minority, or if they are, they don't need any help or recognition because they're all smart and educated" article the other day. My head exploded.

[pixxelpuss]

Yep. Good thing you guys are the lucky privileged minority who all live with extended family and pool your resources so you can all go to ivy leagues and major in hard sciences before making a ton of money working in software development. You lucky, lucky Asians.

[pocochina]

Some of us WoC don't want kids, either, and the thoughtless insinuation that we do carries unpleasant overtones of its own

Yeah. There seemed to be a lot of appropriative erasure going on in the comments. Like, "I want to look like I am examining my privilege, so I will generalize and speak for WOC, in order to Show Someone Else!" No. Wrong.