"'no one can care too much:' the gladys witham house motto"
So, the Bomb Girls movie happened.
Um, in general, I'm super disappointed in what happened to Vera most of all. I feel like this was really an ensemble show and they decided to use a plot that mostly relied on Gladys and a whole bunch of new people, while not exploring a lot of what happened to the other characters. What was jail like? Why was Betty fighting? What were the consequences of not rigging the last fight? Why was Vera so insecure about Marco? I wish we'd had more from everyone. I do love Gladys, but it was never the Gladys Witham Show and it def felt like the Gladys Witham movie.
As for Kate and Betty....I'm really disappointed that we didn't get a kiss or anything like that, but I've also always held that Kate needed some time on her own to unfuck herself up and deal with her PTSD and being KATE before she could get with Betty. So...I'm unhappy they didn't kiss, but I feel like they laid the groundwork for getting her there? Like, she tells Betty she's not the person she used to be and she doesn't love Ivan any longer, she's eager to have Betty back in her life to the extent of blowing other people off, she's not shy about showing affection or moving in with Betty, and she decides to finally pursue what SHE wants to do, not what people want her to do. So I feel like this is a great place for her to find out what she wants and then go after it, ie: Betty.
Also, I love that Betty got her house SO MUCH <333 And SHEILA AND THE HOT DOCTOR ARE MARRIED AND SHEILA IS KNOCKED UP I LOVE IT.
And here's my thoughts blow-by-blow as the movie was happening, via a chat with bessiemaemucho:
bessiemaemucho: hii i am ready to watch bomb girls whenever you are!!
pocky_slash: I'm loading it onto a flash drive now!
bessiemaemucho: yayy
pocky_slash: Okay, I have it in. I just have to navigate to the right screen, hold on.
OKAY I'M READY WHEN YOU ARE.
bessiemaemucho: ok go in
1
2
3!
previously on bomb girls, everyone was amazing except for the dudes
pocky_slash: Legit, dude.
UGH does this mean Gene is gonna be in it?
bessiemaemucho: oh this is helpful, i forgot about some of this stuff
pocky_slash: Also, this is so out of order, it's weird.
But whatever.
UGH I FORGOT GLADYS SLWPT WITH THAT GUY.
bessiemaemucho: shoot him gladys
pocky_slash: I'm not into Gladys' spy plot line, but I am into her with a gun.
LEGIT.
bessiemaemucho: i forget who but i suggested this show to a bunch of people obv
and one of them wa slike "you didn't tell me the guy from BSG was in it!!"
and i was like oh was that him? whatever he's gross on bomb girls, don't get excited
apparently they didn't think he was gross on bomb girls, w/e
pocky_slash: Then they're wroooong
bessiemaemucho: whoa this new girl is the regina george of the factory
ahaha ivan
deserves this
pocky_slash: TOTALLY
Although I'm bummed he hasn't been eaten by a polar bear
and then pooped out and eaten again
bessiemaemucho: there's stll like 1.25 hrs left
pocky_slash: FINGERS CROSSED!
bessiemaemucho: polar bears can attack at ANY TIME
especially in the pre-global warming 40s
pocky_slash: And in Canada where everything is ice.
bessiemaemucho: are we supposed to know who these white dudes are?
i only recognize one of them
pocky_slash: I don't think so.
bessiemaemucho: but white dudes all look the same ot me
ok
pocky_slash: Me too, especially on this show when they're all douchebags not worth knowing.
bessiemaemucho: right
pocky_slash: UGH ICAN
UGH MUSTACHE
bessiemaemucho: i still think it's hilarious that bomb making involves careful pitcher pouring
pocky_slash: Hahahaha
bessiemaemucho: mustaches are in now!!!!!
pocky_slash: Maybe that mustache is covering up polar bear wounds.
bessiemaemucho: and little... semi-pompadour... things...
no they sure are not in, go away ivan
pocky_slash: GO AWAY FOREVER
Maybe if this guy was a good actor I'd be able to tell what we're supposed to think about that package
bessiemaemucho: prob porn
hmm
snuff porn??
pocky_slash: HURRAH!
bessiemaemucho: i'm only sad because she's sad.
pocky_slash: She'll get over it, like she got over her dead fiance.
bessiemaemucho: she's resilient
oh you ladies
with your emotions
pocky_slash: Maybe Kai Lo will come back and sweep her off her feet.
bessiemaemucho: yeah i like you, slightly younger white dude
pocky_slash: WHITE MEN ARE THE WORST.
I think I heard he's Jewish
Which keeps with the "only the minority dudes are worth your time on this show"
bessiemaemucho: well, that explains it
bessiemaemucho: get back to your careful pitcher pouring!
pocky_slash: Meta <3333
WE MISSED YOU TOO, GIRLS.
No one's heard from Betty :( :( :(
bessiemaemucho: maybe she's off wrangling polar bears
gladys is the lindsay lohan of this floor
pocky_slash: I hope so, I hope the climax is her leading them in to kill all the dudes.
bessiemaemucho: regina george is going down
pocky_slash: I hope she's the spy.
And then she turns into a polar bear and eats Ivan.
bessiemaemucho: i mean who knows what kind of effects these chemicals have
maybe all the bomb girls have powers
and htey just don't know
kjdaskjdas
pocky_slash: I WOULD READ THAT RIC
FIC
bessiemaemucho: ooh girl
pocky_slash: >:(
bessiemaemucho: yessssss
sssssssss
ssssssssssss
!
pocky_slash: YEEESSSSSSSSS
BRING HER TO MEEEEEEE
bessiemaemucho: kait you made this happen with the secret
pocky_slash: I DID
bessiemaemucho: good job
can't wait for the polar bear ending
pocky_slash: ::STARES AT VISION BOARD::
Kaaaaaaaaaaaaaaate my baby
KAAAAAAAATE
bessiemaemucho: that's the white guy i kinda like right?
not the higher up one?
pocky_slash: I'm glad the Jewel Box remains the only club in Toronto.
bessiemaemucho: wait no it's the other one?
pocky_slash: I think they're both there?
bessiemaemucho: god these white guys
so shifty
pocky_slash: Legit.
At least give them different colored hair or hats.
bessiemaemucho: glasses
a monocle
facial hair
there are options!
pocky_slash: The evil ones get monocles
or the rich ones
which is kind of the same on this show
bessiemaemucho: a shoulder parrot
seeing eye dog
beret
scarf
but nooo
pocky_slash: NO STAY AWAY FROM MY GIRL
NOOOOOO
bessiemaemucho: just 2 white dudes with brown hair and suits
3
3 white dudes with brown hair and suits
ah ha ha
yeah, use your meddlesome queen bee tendencies for good, gladys!
oh no what is this, where is betty
is betty in a fight club
pocky_slash: OH MY GOD
I REALLY DID MAKE THIS HAPPEN WITH THE SECRET
bessiemaemucho: betty the first rule of fight club is don't get punched in the face :(
pocky_slash: Beeeeetty :( :( :(
Beeeettttttttyyyyyyyyyy
bessiemaemucho: :( :( :(
pocky_slash: BEEEEEEETTTTTTTTTTTYYYYYYYYY
bessiemaemucho: ooh gladys
she's crafty
pocky_slash: Right? Pulling no punches.
Go Sheila! Nabbed the hot doctor!
bessiemaemucho: uh oh lorna
bessiemaemucho: i
need more of vera's outfit
i need that in my closet
pocky_slash: LEGIT
bessiemaemucho: yayyy
pocky_slash: Awwww! <333 Marco's daaaaaaaaaad!
pocky_slash: LAKSFJOIAWEJFLKSDF
MY HEART
bessiemaemucho: ohhhh
pocky_slash: MY HEART
bessiemaemucho: ohhhhhhhhh
pocky_slash: sakdfjioewjflksdf;ljks;df
bessiemaemucho: NOW KISS
pocky_slash: can't type words
KIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Kaaaaaaaaaaaaate
Beeeeeeeeeeetttttttttttttty
bessiemaemucho: eeeeee
pocky_slash: MY HEART
bessiemaemucho: no do not love ivan
do not.
pocky_slash: NO ONE LOVES IVAN
Oh god I hope "things are different now" means "I realized I'm in love with you"
bessiemaemucho: aww
i want lorna to know the truth
i bet she'll figure it out
pocky_slash: Me too
bessiemaemucho: all those bomb chemicals have given her telepathy
pocky_slash: Ugh, I don't know how I feel about Gladys pulling this on Lorna.
Like, super smart! That is the PERFECT card to play here!
But Lorna's gonna be so devestated and angry when she finds out
bessiemaemucho: yeahhh
well
hopefully if lorna finds out
she'll also find out the REAL truth
and will understand
for patriotism
well
betty does have a pair of brass ones
that is accurate
pocky_slash: LEGIT.
bessiemaemucho: <3 marco <3
pocky_slash: Marco is THE BEST
Thank you for telling us the moral of this show.
bessiemaemucho: hahah
yes
men are jerks
pocky_slash: I'm glad Marco has just given up all his dude friends for the awesome ladies.
bessiemaemucho: except italians
(and other minorities)
bessiemaemucho: ............
kait you made this happen with the secret
pocky_slash: Ugh I hate this woman
bessiemaemucho: bacon is a plot point
secret jew bacon.
pocky_slash: I wrote that fic once.
bessiemaemucho: i know!!
marco nooo
pocky_slash: Listen, Marco, being Queen of the World is a hard job.
Vera is SUPER busy.
bessiemaemucho: ahhh
also, damn girl
pocky_slash: SO HOT
But, awwww, Marco.
BUT GO VERA!!!
bessiemaemucho: good job marco
bessiemaemucho: wait is HE the spy? or is this what he's supposed to be doing?
oooh i will be so angry if i was misled into accidentally approving of a white guy
pocky_slash: LEGIT >:( I think he's probably not
Given that it's only half an hour into the two hour movie
bessiemaemucho: yeah but the last hour is gonna be polar bears
pocky_slash: Good point.
That's a good spy outfit, though. Good job, Gladys.
bessiemaemucho: uh oh lorna's gonna find out
pocky_slash: All the clothes on this show are so good. I want Sheila's jacket.
No one needs Lorna's help :(
bessiemaemucho: CANADA does though
pocky_slash: LEGIT.
bessiemaemucho: oh nooo
pocky_slash: Gladyyyssssss
Gladys, you're a terrible spy
bessiemaemucho: : YOU ALWAYS WILL BE IN LORNA'S HEART, GLADYS, COME ON.
bessiemaemucho: ooohhh
but also
again
seems like poor spy work
pocky_slash: Gladys, you're a terrible spy.
bessiemaemucho: what's to stop her from just shooting her and scampering off
i feel like this is the same lesson we learned from marco's family
pocky_slash: Maybe the think everyone forgot between season two and now?
vera you're perfect <33333
MY GIRLS :'(
bessiemaemucho: and ivan, lurking in the background :(
pocky_slash: They're gonna send Vera over there and she's gonna solve the war in a day.
bessiemaemucho: betty don't bring a slap to a fight club
just punch him
pocky_slash: Betty
I can't
bessiemaemucho: yay
pocky_slash: Vera! Marco!
bessiemaemucho: she learned italiannn
i assume
pocky_slash: I caaaaaan't
I feel like I'm 99% sure this guy is going to turn out to be a good guy.
bessiemaemucho: guilty only of loving bacon
kate's performing dressss
pocky_slash: Riiiiiiiight
UGH THAT GUY
Your vagina friend Betty????
Please????
bessiemaemucho: their facessss
pocky_slash: I CAAAAAAN'T
bessiemaemucho: is kate gonna get a recoring contract and buy a house for betty
and get married
pocky_slash: oh my god
i hope so
I HOPE SO
Betty your face
bessiemaemucho: and wear that dress
pocky_slash: YOUR FACE
KATE'S FACE
I WANT THEM TO KISS
pocky_slash: I knew he was a good guy.
bessiemaemucho: twisttt
awww
pocky_slash: Poor dude.
Thank god your a minority, dude.
I would be okay if Gladys made out with this guy.
bessiemaemucho: hard-hitting investigation
she needs to find out if he taste like bacon
pocky_slash: Legit. "Sorry, I need to stick my tongue down your throat to be sure."
I knew it was going to be that girl.
bessiemaemucho: liesss
no one is glad ivan is back
pocky_slash: Legit.
This guy is in on it too
bessiemaemucho: god, duarte is losing his SHIT
he hates facism
pocky_slash: Or he's an even worse spy than Gladys, which is hard to believe.
bessiemaemucho: hhaha
pocky_slash: Sounds like Duarte
bessiemaemucho: he's an anarchist
what if the end is duarte attacks all the white dudes
pocky_slash: I'm pro-that. ::puts it on her vision board::
bessiemaemucho: man canada is not good at picking spies
pocky_slash: Legit.
bessiemaemucho: their best spy is... gladys??
pocky_slash: No wonder we've never heard about them in the history books.
bessiemaemucho: it's a wonder they're still a country
this podcast i listen to has a running gag about one of the hosts having a phobia of people named gladys
because he's afraid "gladys to meet you" will slip out of his mouth
uncontrollably
pocky_slash: Hahahahahaha
bessiemaemucho: and that's all i can think of whenever anyone says gladys now
pocky_slash: UGH I WANT THEM TO KISS SO MUCH
SORRY WHENEVER ONE OF THEM IS ON SCREEN THAT'S WHAT I THINK
bessiemaemucho: hey, weren't they not allowed to wear nail polish before
what a shitty bomb girl
pocky_slash: Seriously.
bessiemaemucho: oh lornaaa
pocky_slash: Lorna Lorna Lorna
Them's fighting words Gladys
bessiemaemucho: VERA writes
pocky_slash: Most awkward lunch ever.
bessiemaemucho: not like BETTY
pocky_slash: VERA!
bessiemaemucho: "i don
t miss that spy girl though"
"have you guys found the spy girl yet? get on that. love, vera"
pocky_slash: Thank god Vera is gone or else she'd catch the spy in two seconds.
bessiemaemucho: read your sext aloud!!
wait this plan
is not a good plan
:(
pocky_slash: UGH
I'M SO SCARED
bessiemaemucho: ivan dies by wild animal
no other way
dosalkd;fasr
pocky_slash: L;AFJEIWOAFJLKSDF
I CAN'T
OIWEJFKLASDJF'LAKSJDFL;
bessiemaemucho: i'm very sterssedasd
pocky_slash: ACTUALLY SHAKING D:
bessiemaemucho: nnghhhh
helen has no friends BECAUSE SHE'S A SPY MURDERDEATHKILLER
pocky_slash: SQUEEZING KLAPPAR HAJ
bessiemaemucho: NOOOOO
pocky_slash: LSDKFJOIAWEJF
NOOOOOO
OKAY
MARCO
CAROL
KAAAAAAAAATE NO
BETTY'S OKAY
bessiemaemucho: D: D: D:
eeep
pocky_slash: LORNA'S OKAY
Oh, Ivan.
Well, good job, movie. I actually feel bad :(
bessiemaemucho: D:
he died trying to find a friend for helen
OH HELEN
GIRL NO
GIRL
NO
pocky_slash: NOOOOOOOOOO DON'T GO AFTER MY BABY
bessiemaemucho: dlfk;sdf
this is some walter white bullshit
pocky_slash: I have transfered my hatred of now-dead Ivan to this chick
bessiemaemucho: (just trust me)
pocky_slash: Which, congrats.
bessiemaemucho: yeah
legit
pocky_slash: I've never actually hated a lady on this show.
bessiemaemucho: IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT KATE
pocky_slash: KAAAAAAAAAAAATE
KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE
KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE
I'm glad this guy is a decent spy at least
bessiemaemucho: ~*feelings explosion*~
pocky_slash: Eeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!
FINALLY. Good job, Gladys.
bessiemaemucho: dammit betty
pocky_slash: Betty :(
BETTY WANTS TO GIVE KATE A HOME
HOLD ME
BETTY
BETTY
MY BABY
bessiemaemucho: gasp
i litearlly gasped
you can't fire lorna
pocky_slash: WHATY
WHAT
WHAT
WHAT
WHAT
WHAT
WHAT
WHAT
WHAT
WHAT
bessiemaemucho: >:(
pocky_slash: YOU GO, LORNA.
bessiemaemucho: oh no
no
pocky_slash: CLUTCHING KLAPPAR HAJ
bessiemaemucho: NOT OKAY
pocky_slash: no
NO
NO
NO
NO
NO
NO
NO
NO
NO
NO
NO
NO
NO
NO
NO
bessiemaemucho: IT'S OKAY BECAUSE VERA JUST RETURNED TO HER MERMAID FAMILY
pocky_slash: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
bessiemaemucho: :'((((
pocky_slash: ACTUALLY WEEPPING
bessiemaemucho: i'm crying but also in denial
pocky_slash: :( :( :( :(
It can't be true :(
bessiemaemucho: like
there could have been survivors
maybe she got picked up by another ship
or mermaid
pocky_slash: I hope so.
bessiemaemucho: (i've spent the last 6 months coming up with increasingly weird ways to be okay with the ending of breaking bad so.... i'm using those skills now)
LIVE THERE TOGETHER U DUMMIES
pocky_slash: SERIOUSLY
BE IN LOVE
FOREVER
KISS
KISS
KISS
bessiemaemucho: vera says YOLO
vera says KISS
pocky_slash: KISS
bessiemaemucho: lORNA WE NEED YOU
pocky_slash: I'm glad Gladys is coming clean with her.
bessiemaemucho: neither is gladys tbh
pocky_slash: for real
there are forty minutes left and my goddamn otp better kiss
bessiemaemucho: is my file different than yours?
i only have 10 minutes left
i got the file frmo you so
pocky_slash: Oh, maybe you're right
I'm squinting at the display from here.
And my eyes are still blurred from tears, SO.
bessiemaemucho: fair
the point isGET KISSING
pocky_slash: LEGIT
bessiemaemucho: DON'T KISS THIS GUY
KISS BETTY
pocky_slash: KISS HER SO MUCH
bessiemaemucho: lorna's secret is double cinnamon
and PATRIOTISM
uh oh
pocky_slash: OH NO
Okay, Gladys, good timing
bessiemaemucho: nnnnghhh
pocky_slash: Kaaaaaaaate :(
bessiemaemucho: if this bitch kills lorna
i just
pocky_slash: THEY CAN'T JUST KILL EVERYONE
bessiemaemucho: i'm scared
pocky_slash: Lorna, you're such a badass
Kate :( I'M SO NERVOUS
UGH I'M SO STRESSED OUT
bessiemaemucho: i finished my cider
i need more drink
to handle any further canadian war drama
ew don't touch herrrrr
ew stop
staaaahhhhp
pocky_slash: STOP
STOP
bessiemaemucho: BETTY STOP HIM
pocky_slash: BETTY
SAVE KATE
AND KISS HER
NOOOOOO KISS BETTY INSTEAD
bessiemaemucho: >:(
bessiemaemucho: i don't really get why ivan was part of the plan
pocky_slash: I think to get her into the bomb factory.
bessiemaemucho: oh, ok
NOW KISS
pocky_slash: A LOT
KISS A LOT
THANK YOU FOR WRITING ME "PRETENDING TO BE MARRIED" FIC, SHOW
bessiemaemucho: KAIT THE SECRET IS SO POWERFUL
pocky_slash: BUT KATE AND BETTY STILL HAVEN'T KISSED
Oh my god I love this dude so much
bessiemaemucho: 2 MINUTES LEFT
plenty of kissing time
pocky_slash: FINGERS CROSSED
bessiemaemucho: aw jeeze
get out the way gladys
pocky_slash: LEGIT
bessiemaemucho: :'(
ok well
they still have a house together
so
pocky_slash: UGH
bessiemaemucho: there's that
pocky_slash: I know :(
I just
REALLY WANTED THEM TO BE TOGETHER
Ugh :(
So close :(
bessiemaemucho: yeah :(
pocky_slash: :(
I mean
It was good
Except for Vera
and Kate and Betty.
But :(
bessiemaemucho: yeah
i mean at least it didn't end with kate & a dude
like.....
pocky_slash: Legit
bessiemaemucho: could be worse.
but could be them making out.
pocky_slash: It's true. OH WELL.
At least it ended with them in a house together.
bessiemaemucho: and kate's new conviction to follow her dreams
pocky_slash: And if the ratings are good and they make another movie (which I'm not holding out for), maybe.
bessiemaemucho: who knows where that will lead??
pocky_slash: At least I can write all the fanfiction.
bessiemaemucho: (it will lead to lesbianism)
pocky_slash: It's true.
bessiemaemucho: duarte is just wandering around the living room yowling
i presume in response to bomb girls
since he watched most of it on my lap
pocky_slash: I'm sort of coming around to the ending w/o Kate and Betty
Like, I always said that I thought a third season should be about Kate finding herself and the fourth should be her and Betty getting together.
So, in my head, this movie takes the place of the third season and next up, as Kate starts working with more artsy minded people and lives with Betty, she slowly starts to accept that part of herself.
And starts turning away dudes who offer to buy her drinks so she can go home with Betty.
And then, eventually, she realizes how she feels and one night she kisses Betty
and they live happily ever after :')
bessiemaemucho: it's true, kate does need maybe more time to get unfucked up
which she can have
while living with betty
pocky_slash: It's true.
And spending time around the old underground bar crew Leon used to hang with.
(I'm glad Leon was in ONE SCENE in thebackground)
bessiemaemucho: eventually a message in a bottle washes on shore
it's from vera
it says kate, go make out with betty
love, vera, queen of the merpeople
pocky_slash: We just came up with the perfect plot for Vera
She uses a bobby pin to put together some flotsam and paddles to shore
Finds out she's pregnant with Marco's child
signs up to do spy stuff in Europe
is way better at it than Gladys
wins the war by hiding her assassin guns in her baby swaddling
bessiemaemucho: a+++ would watch/read
pocky_slash: Goes righ tup to Hitler like, "Hitler, isn't my baby so cute?" and then shoots him in the face
Then finds Marco in the army or whatever, whisks him away back to the safehouse where Gladys and Jewish Dude have found Kai Lo and are all shacked up together
and they all go back to Canada in time to see kate's big debut, with Lorna as her manager
And at the very end, Kate realizes she really SHOULD go after her dreams and lays one on Betty. The end.
bessiemaemucho: *standing ovation*
pocky_slash: I fixed it.
bessiemaemucho: great work
pocky_slash: Since I livewatched it with you instead of live-writing-it-into-an-email can I just send our whole convo to everyone I know?
bessiemaemucho: yup
pocky_slash: Sweet \o/ I promise they will appreciate our genius.
bessiemaemucho: if they don't
that's how we'll know they're nazis
pocky_slash: We're already way better spies than Gladys.
bessiemaemucho: definitely
Some further thoughts with metonymy once I've had time to sit on the ending for an hour or so:
metonymy: I'M SO MAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
pocky_slash: Like
I'm SO FUCKING PISSED ABOUT VERA
SO PISSED
metonymy: HAT IS EVEN WORSE THAN THE ACTUAL ENDING
pocky_slash: I can KIND of excuse Kate/Betty because I really do feel like Kate probably needs to spend some time single?
BUT
LIKE
COME ON
THIS IS IT
WE CAN'T GET ONE KISS?
metonymy: SERIOUSLY
FUCKERS
pocky_slash: Apparently the old show runner, Michael McLarren (or however you spell it) tweeted that he hadn't watched the movie
metonymy: oh my god he wasn't involved???
pocky_slash: but from what he's heard, it is vastly different from the draft he wrote before he parted ways from the production
YEAH.
SO.
metonymy: I CAN ONLY IMAGINE
HOLY FUCK
pocky_slash: So, considering he's been the one saying Kate and Betty was gonna happen from day one.
metonymy: I BET HE WOULDN'T HAVE KILLED VERA
OR MADE IT ALL TERRIBLE SPY SHENANIGANS
pocky_slash: BASICALLY
pocky_slash: Like
the main problem, I think (BESIDES VERA) is that is was an ensemble show
and it turned into the Gladys Witham Movie.
And I love Gladys
metonymy: it really did
but
it's not a single lead
pocky_slash: but Jakob and the spy people had more lines than some of our girls
Leon had ZERO lines
reggie wasn't even in it.
metonymy: SERIOUSLY
fuckin' a.
metonymy: ahahaha I'm finally reading your chat with renata
I like that our reactions were identical
pocky_slash: RIGHT?
Laura sent hers, too, and it was pretty much the same XD
metonymy: I LIKE YOUR NEW ENDING
pocky_slash: THANKS I WORKED REALLY HARD ON IT
metonymy: UGH. EVERYTHING IS TERRIBLE AND I'M SAD
pocky_slash: JUST THINK ABOUT MY SEQUEL
Think about Kate working really hard to make money off of her music.
metonymy: kaaaaaaaaate <333
pocky_slash: Practicing a lot with Leon and his band, inviting them over to the house with betty's permission
and singing songs and messing around with them, with Betty leaning against the wall with a cigarette and a drink, just watching.
metonymy: bettyyyyyy
omg
pocky_slash: And they start playing in the Jewel Box and Betty's still there, with a cigarette and a drink, watching and smiling.
And unlike Ivan or any of those other people, Betty doesn't pressure her or ask anything of her. She's just there to help when Kate needs it and to offer advice when Kate asks and to give Kate pep talks when she's down, in between working at the factory.
metonymy: UGH YES
pocky_slash: And Kate starts getting bigger and better gigs. And the right people start paying attention. And Betty is still right there, doing her own thing.
And Kate starts spending more time with Leon and his artsy cool friends and seeing how they live their lives however they like, with whomever they like.
And Leon and his friends are really insistant that everyone be themselves and everyone be accepted for who they are.
And then one night, a dude stops Kate after her set and she expects to have to turn him away when he tries to give her his number, like they always do, like she always does because she likes being Kate, not Mrs. whoever.
metonymy: PLEASE WRITE THIS.
I KNOW YOU'RE BUSY WITH MUTANTS AND YOU'RE ALREADY WRITING ME DAYS OF KITTY PAST
BUT
I WILL BRIBE YOU
pocky_slash: And instead he hands her a business card and says he's a record producer and he'd like to talk to her and her band about cutting a record.
And she's skeptical, but Leon assures her he knows of the dude and he's legit.
And Kate is so excited and she rushes backstage to tell Betty and Betty is all smiles and all happy and Kate just...kisses her.
metonymy: yessssssss
Random side note: in my dreams I could right-click on a tumblr tag and xkit would ask if I wanted to blacklist it
pocky_slash: Because Betty's been doing her own thing, too, and has cooled off at thinking of Kate as a prize to be won and has just supported her because she loves her, no strings.
And they live happily every after.
metonymy: yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay
pocky_slash: (And Vera is found alive due to some sort of snafu and is waiting for Marco when he comes home and they have babies.)
metonymy: ADORABLE WONDERFUL BABIES
pocky_slash: That sometimes Kate and Betty hold!
And somewhere along the line, something happens and Kate and Betty end up finding a little orphan baby of their own
metonymy: YES.
And finally, some Cardigan Central quotes as we were watching:
mcwonthelottery: "There's only two people in spy school--they're not doing too well!"
mcwonthelottery: "I think she just said your dick was small."
mcwonthelottery: "I'm glad Marco gave up all his dude friends to hang out with the ladies, at least two of whom he's slept with."
Gladys: "We're co-workers, Jane."
mcwonthelottery: "And I'm a spy. Whoops! You weren't supposed to know that!"
Gladys: "Maybe Clifford was wrong about me. Maybe I can't do this."
mcwonthelottery: "I mean, all evidence would point to that, Gladys. You're not doing a great job so far."
Ivan: "She's an orphan, she doesn't have any parents."
mcwonthelottery: "That's how I like 'em!"
mcwonthelottery: "This guy is like, 'I wish I had more people in spy school. This girl is awful.'"
mcwonthelottery: "That's the wrong thing to say. TERRIBLE SPY. Drink! We've found the perfect drinking game for this movie--drink every time Gladys is a terrible spy."
pocky_slash: We'd be blitzed ten minutes in!
Marco reading Vera's letter: "Gladys' gorgeous gowns!"
mcwonthelottery: "Gladys, you have no actual qualities."
pocky_slash: "I'm glad this guy is a better spy at least. Which is not saying much."
mcwonthelottery: "Gladys is second in her class at spy school."
pocky_slash: "Class of 2."
mcwonthelottery: "I'm glad Gladys was like, "Lorna, come play good-cop-bad-cop with me. Bring a pie."
pocky_slash: "I would watch that show."
mcwonthelottery: "The big reveal at the end should have been that Gladys never went to Spy School, it was just a barn. Bad Spy was like, 'Yeah, come to Spy School! Bring your vagina!' And then Gladys was like, 'Where are all the other spies?' so he was like, 'You, random dude, come to spy school. Bring whatever.' And he was like, 'Can I bring my spy stuff?' 'Ugh, really? You have to legitimize this? I just want to bone this girl!'"
mcwonthelottery: "Ugh, spy school. It's like the oldest trick in the book, Gladys!"
pocky_slash: "If God came down and was like, Kaitlyn, I will give you a second Bomb Girls movie--"
mcwonthelottery: "If god came down from heaven you would be like, 'Sorry, I don't believe in you' and he'd be like, 'Fine, then fuck this.'"
Um, in general, I'm super disappointed in what happened to Vera most of all. I feel like this was really an ensemble show and they decided to use a plot that mostly relied on Gladys and a whole bunch of new people, while not exploring a lot of what happened to the other characters. What was jail like? Why was Betty fighting? What were the consequences of not rigging the last fight? Why was Vera so insecure about Marco? I wish we'd had more from everyone. I do love Gladys, but it was never the Gladys Witham Show and it def felt like the Gladys Witham movie.
As for Kate and Betty....I'm really disappointed that we didn't get a kiss or anything like that, but I've also always held that Kate needed some time on her own to unfuck herself up and deal with her PTSD and being KATE before she could get with Betty. So...I'm unhappy they didn't kiss, but I feel like they laid the groundwork for getting her there? Like, she tells Betty she's not the person she used to be and she doesn't love Ivan any longer, she's eager to have Betty back in her life to the extent of blowing other people off, she's not shy about showing affection or moving in with Betty, and she decides to finally pursue what SHE wants to do, not what people want her to do. So I feel like this is a great place for her to find out what she wants and then go after it, ie: Betty.
Also, I love that Betty got her house SO MUCH <333 And SHEILA AND THE HOT DOCTOR ARE MARRIED AND SHEILA IS KNOCKED UP I LOVE IT.
And here's my thoughts blow-by-blow as the movie was happening, via a chat with bessiemaemucho:
bessiemaemucho: hii i am ready to watch bomb girls whenever you are!!
pocky_slash: I'm loading it onto a flash drive now!
bessiemaemucho: yayy
pocky_slash: Okay, I have it in. I just have to navigate to the right screen, hold on.
OKAY I'M READY WHEN YOU ARE.
bessiemaemucho: ok go in
1
2
3!
previously on bomb girls, everyone was amazing except for the dudes
pocky_slash: Legit, dude.
UGH does this mean Gene is gonna be in it?
bessiemaemucho: oh this is helpful, i forgot about some of this stuff
pocky_slash: Also, this is so out of order, it's weird.
But whatever.
UGH I FORGOT GLADYS SLWPT WITH THAT GUY.
bessiemaemucho: shoot him gladys
pocky_slash: I'm not into Gladys' spy plot line, but I am into her with a gun.
LEGIT.
bessiemaemucho: i forget who but i suggested this show to a bunch of people obv
and one of them wa slike "you didn't tell me the guy from BSG was in it!!"
and i was like oh was that him? whatever he's gross on bomb girls, don't get excited
apparently they didn't think he was gross on bomb girls, w/e
pocky_slash: Then they're wroooong
bessiemaemucho: whoa this new girl is the regina george of the factory
ahaha ivan
deserves this
pocky_slash: TOTALLY
Although I'm bummed he hasn't been eaten by a polar bear
and then pooped out and eaten again
bessiemaemucho: there's stll like 1.25 hrs left
pocky_slash: FINGERS CROSSED!
bessiemaemucho: polar bears can attack at ANY TIME
especially in the pre-global warming 40s
pocky_slash: And in Canada where everything is ice.
bessiemaemucho: are we supposed to know who these white dudes are?
i only recognize one of them
pocky_slash: I don't think so.
bessiemaemucho: but white dudes all look the same ot me
ok
pocky_slash: Me too, especially on this show when they're all douchebags not worth knowing.
bessiemaemucho: right
pocky_slash: UGH ICAN
UGH MUSTACHE
bessiemaemucho: i still think it's hilarious that bomb making involves careful pitcher pouring
pocky_slash: Hahahaha
bessiemaemucho: mustaches are in now!!!!!
pocky_slash: Maybe that mustache is covering up polar bear wounds.
bessiemaemucho: and little... semi-pompadour... things...
no they sure are not in, go away ivan
pocky_slash: GO AWAY FOREVER
Maybe if this guy was a good actor I'd be able to tell what we're supposed to think about that package
bessiemaemucho: prob porn
hmm
snuff porn??
pocky_slash: HURRAH!
bessiemaemucho: i'm only sad because she's sad.
pocky_slash: She'll get over it, like she got over her dead fiance.
bessiemaemucho: she's resilient
oh you ladies
with your emotions
pocky_slash: Maybe Kai Lo will come back and sweep her off her feet.
bessiemaemucho: yeah i like you, slightly younger white dude
pocky_slash: WHITE MEN ARE THE WORST.
I think I heard he's Jewish
Which keeps with the "only the minority dudes are worth your time on this show"
bessiemaemucho: well, that explains it
bessiemaemucho: get back to your careful pitcher pouring!
pocky_slash: Meta <3333
WE MISSED YOU TOO, GIRLS.
No one's heard from Betty :( :( :(
bessiemaemucho: maybe she's off wrangling polar bears
gladys is the lindsay lohan of this floor
pocky_slash: I hope so, I hope the climax is her leading them in to kill all the dudes.
bessiemaemucho: regina george is going down
pocky_slash: I hope she's the spy.
And then she turns into a polar bear and eats Ivan.
bessiemaemucho: i mean who knows what kind of effects these chemicals have
maybe all the bomb girls have powers
and htey just don't know
kjdaskjdas
pocky_slash: I WOULD READ THAT RIC
FIC
bessiemaemucho: ooh girl
pocky_slash: >:(
bessiemaemucho: yessssss
sssssssss
ssssssssssss
!
pocky_slash: YEEESSSSSSSSS
BRING HER TO MEEEEEEE
bessiemaemucho: kait you made this happen with the secret
pocky_slash: I DID
bessiemaemucho: good job
can't wait for the polar bear ending
pocky_slash: ::STARES AT VISION BOARD::
Kaaaaaaaaaaaaaaate my baby
KAAAAAAAATE
bessiemaemucho: that's the white guy i kinda like right?
not the higher up one?
pocky_slash: I'm glad the Jewel Box remains the only club in Toronto.
bessiemaemucho: wait no it's the other one?
pocky_slash: I think they're both there?
bessiemaemucho: god these white guys
so shifty
pocky_slash: Legit.
At least give them different colored hair or hats.
bessiemaemucho: glasses
a monocle
facial hair
there are options!
pocky_slash: The evil ones get monocles
or the rich ones
which is kind of the same on this show
bessiemaemucho: a shoulder parrot
seeing eye dog
beret
scarf
but nooo
pocky_slash: NO STAY AWAY FROM MY GIRL
NOOOOOO
bessiemaemucho: just 2 white dudes with brown hair and suits
3
3 white dudes with brown hair and suits
ah ha ha
yeah, use your meddlesome queen bee tendencies for good, gladys!
oh no what is this, where is betty
is betty in a fight club
pocky_slash: OH MY GOD
I REALLY DID MAKE THIS HAPPEN WITH THE SECRET
bessiemaemucho: betty the first rule of fight club is don't get punched in the face :(
pocky_slash: Beeeeetty :( :( :(
Beeeettttttttyyyyyyyyyy
bessiemaemucho: :( :( :(
pocky_slash: BEEEEEEETTTTTTTTTTTYYYYYYYYY
bessiemaemucho: ooh gladys
she's crafty
pocky_slash: Right? Pulling no punches.
Go Sheila! Nabbed the hot doctor!
bessiemaemucho: uh oh lorna
bessiemaemucho: i
need more of vera's outfit
i need that in my closet
pocky_slash: LEGIT
bessiemaemucho: yayyy
pocky_slash: Awwww! <333 Marco's daaaaaaaaaad!
pocky_slash: LAKSFJOIAWEJFLKSDF
MY HEART
bessiemaemucho: ohhhh
pocky_slash: MY HEART
bessiemaemucho: ohhhhhhhhh
pocky_slash: sakdfjioewjflksdf;ljks;df
bessiemaemucho: NOW KISS
pocky_slash: can't type words
KIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Kaaaaaaaaaaaaate
Beeeeeeeeeeetttttttttttttty
bessiemaemucho: eeeeee
pocky_slash: MY HEART
bessiemaemucho: no do not love ivan
do not.
pocky_slash: NO ONE LOVES IVAN
Oh god I hope "things are different now" means "I realized I'm in love with you"
bessiemaemucho: aww
i want lorna to know the truth
i bet she'll figure it out
pocky_slash: Me too
bessiemaemucho: all those bomb chemicals have given her telepathy
pocky_slash: Ugh, I don't know how I feel about Gladys pulling this on Lorna.
Like, super smart! That is the PERFECT card to play here!
But Lorna's gonna be so devestated and angry when she finds out
bessiemaemucho: yeahhh
well
hopefully if lorna finds out
she'll also find out the REAL truth
and will understand
for patriotism
well
betty does have a pair of brass ones
that is accurate
pocky_slash: LEGIT.
bessiemaemucho: <3 marco <3
pocky_slash: Marco is THE BEST
Thank you for telling us the moral of this show.
bessiemaemucho: hahah
yes
men are jerks
pocky_slash: I'm glad Marco has just given up all his dude friends for the awesome ladies.
bessiemaemucho: except italians
(and other minorities)
bessiemaemucho: ............
kait you made this happen with the secret
pocky_slash: Ugh I hate this woman
bessiemaemucho: bacon is a plot point
secret jew bacon.
pocky_slash: I wrote that fic once.
bessiemaemucho: i know!!
marco nooo
pocky_slash: Listen, Marco, being Queen of the World is a hard job.
Vera is SUPER busy.
bessiemaemucho: ahhh
also, damn girl
pocky_slash: SO HOT
But, awwww, Marco.
BUT GO VERA!!!
bessiemaemucho: good job marco
bessiemaemucho: wait is HE the spy? or is this what he's supposed to be doing?
oooh i will be so angry if i was misled into accidentally approving of a white guy
pocky_slash: LEGIT >:( I think he's probably not
Given that it's only half an hour into the two hour movie
bessiemaemucho: yeah but the last hour is gonna be polar bears
pocky_slash: Good point.
That's a good spy outfit, though. Good job, Gladys.
bessiemaemucho: uh oh lorna's gonna find out
pocky_slash: All the clothes on this show are so good. I want Sheila's jacket.
No one needs Lorna's help :(
bessiemaemucho: CANADA does though
pocky_slash: LEGIT.
bessiemaemucho: oh nooo
pocky_slash: Gladyyyssssss
Gladys, you're a terrible spy
bessiemaemucho: : YOU ALWAYS WILL BE IN LORNA'S HEART, GLADYS, COME ON.
bessiemaemucho: ooohhh
but also
again
seems like poor spy work
pocky_slash: Gladys, you're a terrible spy.
bessiemaemucho: what's to stop her from just shooting her and scampering off
i feel like this is the same lesson we learned from marco's family
pocky_slash: Maybe the think everyone forgot between season two and now?
vera you're perfect <33333
MY GIRLS :'(
bessiemaemucho: and ivan, lurking in the background :(
pocky_slash: They're gonna send Vera over there and she's gonna solve the war in a day.
bessiemaemucho: betty don't bring a slap to a fight club
just punch him
pocky_slash: Betty
I can't
bessiemaemucho: yay
pocky_slash: Vera! Marco!
bessiemaemucho: she learned italiannn
i assume
pocky_slash: I caaaaaan't
I feel like I'm 99% sure this guy is going to turn out to be a good guy.
bessiemaemucho: guilty only of loving bacon
kate's performing dressss
pocky_slash: Riiiiiiiight
UGH THAT GUY
Your vagina friend Betty????
Please????
bessiemaemucho: their facessss
pocky_slash: I CAAAAAAN'T
bessiemaemucho: is kate gonna get a recoring contract and buy a house for betty
and get married
pocky_slash: oh my god
i hope so
I HOPE SO
Betty your face
bessiemaemucho: and wear that dress
pocky_slash: YOUR FACE
KATE'S FACE
I WANT THEM TO KISS
pocky_slash: I knew he was a good guy.
bessiemaemucho: twisttt
awww
pocky_slash: Poor dude.
Thank god your a minority, dude.
I would be okay if Gladys made out with this guy.
bessiemaemucho: hard-hitting investigation
she needs to find out if he taste like bacon
pocky_slash: Legit. "Sorry, I need to stick my tongue down your throat to be sure."
I knew it was going to be that girl.
bessiemaemucho: liesss
no one is glad ivan is back
pocky_slash: Legit.
This guy is in on it too
bessiemaemucho: god, duarte is losing his SHIT
he hates facism
pocky_slash: Or he's an even worse spy than Gladys, which is hard to believe.
bessiemaemucho: hhaha
pocky_slash: Sounds like Duarte
bessiemaemucho: he's an anarchist
what if the end is duarte attacks all the white dudes
pocky_slash: I'm pro-that. ::puts it on her vision board::
bessiemaemucho: man canada is not good at picking spies
pocky_slash: Legit.
bessiemaemucho: their best spy is... gladys??
pocky_slash: No wonder we've never heard about them in the history books.
bessiemaemucho: it's a wonder they're still a country
this podcast i listen to has a running gag about one of the hosts having a phobia of people named gladys
because he's afraid "gladys to meet you" will slip out of his mouth
uncontrollably
pocky_slash: Hahahahahaha
bessiemaemucho: and that's all i can think of whenever anyone says gladys now
pocky_slash: UGH I WANT THEM TO KISS SO MUCH
SORRY WHENEVER ONE OF THEM IS ON SCREEN THAT'S WHAT I THINK
bessiemaemucho: hey, weren't they not allowed to wear nail polish before
what a shitty bomb girl
pocky_slash: Seriously.
bessiemaemucho: oh lornaaa
pocky_slash: Lorna Lorna Lorna
Them's fighting words Gladys
bessiemaemucho: VERA writes
pocky_slash: Most awkward lunch ever.
bessiemaemucho: not like BETTY
pocky_slash: VERA!
bessiemaemucho: "i don
t miss that spy girl though"
"have you guys found the spy girl yet? get on that. love, vera"
pocky_slash: Thank god Vera is gone or else she'd catch the spy in two seconds.
bessiemaemucho: read your sext aloud!!
wait this plan
is not a good plan
:(
pocky_slash: UGH
I'M SO SCARED
bessiemaemucho: ivan dies by wild animal
no other way
dosalkd;fasr
pocky_slash: L;AFJEIWOAFJLKSDF
I CAN'T
OIWEJFKLASDJF'LAKSJDFL;
bessiemaemucho: i'm very sterssedasd
pocky_slash: ACTUALLY SHAKING D:
bessiemaemucho: nnghhhh
helen has no friends BECAUSE SHE'S A SPY MURDERDEATHKILLER
pocky_slash: SQUEEZING KLAPPAR HAJ
bessiemaemucho: NOOOOO
pocky_slash: LSDKFJOIAWEJF
NOOOOOO
OKAY
MARCO
CAROL
KAAAAAAAAATE NO
BETTY'S OKAY
bessiemaemucho: D: D: D:
eeep
pocky_slash: LORNA'S OKAY
Oh, Ivan.
Well, good job, movie. I actually feel bad :(
bessiemaemucho: D:
he died trying to find a friend for helen
OH HELEN
GIRL NO
GIRL
NO
pocky_slash: NOOOOOOOOOO DON'T GO AFTER MY BABY
bessiemaemucho: dlfk;sdf
this is some walter white bullshit
pocky_slash: I have transfered my hatred of now-dead Ivan to this chick
bessiemaemucho: (just trust me)
pocky_slash: Which, congrats.
bessiemaemucho: yeah
legit
pocky_slash: I've never actually hated a lady on this show.
bessiemaemucho: IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT KATE
pocky_slash: KAAAAAAAAAAAATE
KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE
KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE
I'm glad this guy is a decent spy at least
bessiemaemucho: ~*feelings explosion*~
pocky_slash: Eeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!
FINALLY. Good job, Gladys.
bessiemaemucho: dammit betty
pocky_slash: Betty :(
BETTY WANTS TO GIVE KATE A HOME
HOLD ME
BETTY
BETTY
MY BABY
bessiemaemucho: gasp
i litearlly gasped
you can't fire lorna
pocky_slash: WHATY
WHAT
WHAT
WHAT
WHAT
WHAT
WHAT
WHAT
WHAT
WHAT
bessiemaemucho: >:(
pocky_slash: YOU GO, LORNA.
bessiemaemucho: oh no
no
pocky_slash: CLUTCHING KLAPPAR HAJ
bessiemaemucho: NOT OKAY
pocky_slash: no
NO
NO
NO
NO
NO
NO
NO
NO
NO
NO
NO
NO
NO
NO
NO
bessiemaemucho: IT'S OKAY BECAUSE VERA JUST RETURNED TO HER MERMAID FAMILY
pocky_slash: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
bessiemaemucho: :'((((
pocky_slash: ACTUALLY WEEPPING
bessiemaemucho: i'm crying but also in denial
pocky_slash: :( :( :( :(
It can't be true :(
bessiemaemucho: like
there could have been survivors
maybe she got picked up by another ship
or mermaid
pocky_slash: I hope so.
bessiemaemucho: (i've spent the last 6 months coming up with increasingly weird ways to be okay with the ending of breaking bad so.... i'm using those skills now)
LIVE THERE TOGETHER U DUMMIES
pocky_slash: SERIOUSLY
BE IN LOVE
FOREVER
KISS
KISS
KISS
bessiemaemucho: vera says YOLO
vera says KISS
pocky_slash: KISS
bessiemaemucho: lORNA WE NEED YOU
pocky_slash: I'm glad Gladys is coming clean with her.
bessiemaemucho: neither is gladys tbh
pocky_slash: for real
there are forty minutes left and my goddamn otp better kiss
bessiemaemucho: is my file different than yours?
i only have 10 minutes left
i got the file frmo you so
pocky_slash: Oh, maybe you're right
I'm squinting at the display from here.
And my eyes are still blurred from tears, SO.
bessiemaemucho: fair
the point isGET KISSING
pocky_slash: LEGIT
bessiemaemucho: DON'T KISS THIS GUY
KISS BETTY
pocky_slash: KISS HER SO MUCH
bessiemaemucho: lorna's secret is double cinnamon
and PATRIOTISM
uh oh
pocky_slash: OH NO
Okay, Gladys, good timing
bessiemaemucho: nnnnghhh
pocky_slash: Kaaaaaaaate :(
bessiemaemucho: if this bitch kills lorna
i just
pocky_slash: THEY CAN'T JUST KILL EVERYONE
bessiemaemucho: i'm scared
pocky_slash: Lorna, you're such a badass
Kate :( I'M SO NERVOUS
UGH I'M SO STRESSED OUT
bessiemaemucho: i finished my cider
i need more drink
to handle any further canadian war drama
ew don't touch herrrrr
ew stop
staaaahhhhp
pocky_slash: STOP
STOP
bessiemaemucho: BETTY STOP HIM
pocky_slash: BETTY
SAVE KATE
AND KISS HER
NOOOOOO KISS BETTY INSTEAD
bessiemaemucho: >:(
bessiemaemucho: i don't really get why ivan was part of the plan
pocky_slash: I think to get her into the bomb factory.
bessiemaemucho: oh, ok
NOW KISS
pocky_slash: A LOT
KISS A LOT
THANK YOU FOR WRITING ME "PRETENDING TO BE MARRIED" FIC, SHOW
bessiemaemucho: KAIT THE SECRET IS SO POWERFUL
pocky_slash: BUT KATE AND BETTY STILL HAVEN'T KISSED
Oh my god I love this dude so much
bessiemaemucho: 2 MINUTES LEFT
plenty of kissing time
pocky_slash: FINGERS CROSSED
bessiemaemucho: aw jeeze
get out the way gladys
pocky_slash: LEGIT
bessiemaemucho: :'(
ok well
they still have a house together
so
pocky_slash: UGH
bessiemaemucho: there's that
pocky_slash: I know :(
I just
REALLY WANTED THEM TO BE TOGETHER
Ugh :(
So close :(
bessiemaemucho: yeah :(
pocky_slash: :(
I mean
It was good
Except for Vera
and Kate and Betty.
But :(
bessiemaemucho: yeah
i mean at least it didn't end with kate & a dude
like.....
pocky_slash: Legit
bessiemaemucho: could be worse.
but could be them making out.
pocky_slash: It's true. OH WELL.
At least it ended with them in a house together.
bessiemaemucho: and kate's new conviction to follow her dreams
pocky_slash: And if the ratings are good and they make another movie (which I'm not holding out for), maybe.
bessiemaemucho: who knows where that will lead??
pocky_slash: At least I can write all the fanfiction.
bessiemaemucho: (it will lead to lesbianism)
pocky_slash: It's true.
bessiemaemucho: duarte is just wandering around the living room yowling
i presume in response to bomb girls
since he watched most of it on my lap
pocky_slash: I'm sort of coming around to the ending w/o Kate and Betty
Like, I always said that I thought a third season should be about Kate finding herself and the fourth should be her and Betty getting together.
So, in my head, this movie takes the place of the third season and next up, as Kate starts working with more artsy minded people and lives with Betty, she slowly starts to accept that part of herself.
And starts turning away dudes who offer to buy her drinks so she can go home with Betty.
And then, eventually, she realizes how she feels and one night she kisses Betty
and they live happily ever after :')
bessiemaemucho: it's true, kate does need maybe more time to get unfucked up
which she can have
while living with betty
pocky_slash: It's true.
And spending time around the old underground bar crew Leon used to hang with.
(I'm glad Leon was in ONE SCENE in thebackground)
bessiemaemucho: eventually a message in a bottle washes on shore
it's from vera
it says kate, go make out with betty
love, vera, queen of the merpeople
pocky_slash: We just came up with the perfect plot for Vera
She uses a bobby pin to put together some flotsam and paddles to shore
Finds out she's pregnant with Marco's child
signs up to do spy stuff in Europe
is way better at it than Gladys
wins the war by hiding her assassin guns in her baby swaddling
bessiemaemucho: a+++ would watch/read
pocky_slash: Goes righ tup to Hitler like, "Hitler, isn't my baby so cute?" and then shoots him in the face
Then finds Marco in the army or whatever, whisks him away back to the safehouse where Gladys and Jewish Dude have found Kai Lo and are all shacked up together
and they all go back to Canada in time to see kate's big debut, with Lorna as her manager
And at the very end, Kate realizes she really SHOULD go after her dreams and lays one on Betty. The end.
bessiemaemucho: *standing ovation*
pocky_slash: I fixed it.
bessiemaemucho: great work
pocky_slash: Since I livewatched it with you instead of live-writing-it-into-an-email can I just send our whole convo to everyone I know?
bessiemaemucho: yup
pocky_slash: Sweet \o/ I promise they will appreciate our genius.
bessiemaemucho: if they don't
that's how we'll know they're nazis
pocky_slash: We're already way better spies than Gladys.
bessiemaemucho: definitely
Some further thoughts with metonymy once I've had time to sit on the ending for an hour or so:
metonymy: I'M SO MAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
pocky_slash: Like
I'm SO FUCKING PISSED ABOUT VERA
SO PISSED
metonymy: HAT IS EVEN WORSE THAN THE ACTUAL ENDING
pocky_slash: I can KIND of excuse Kate/Betty because I really do feel like Kate probably needs to spend some time single?
BUT
LIKE
COME ON
THIS IS IT
WE CAN'T GET ONE KISS?
metonymy: SERIOUSLY
FUCKERS
pocky_slash: Apparently the old show runner, Michael McLarren (or however you spell it) tweeted that he hadn't watched the movie
metonymy: oh my god he wasn't involved???
pocky_slash: but from what he's heard, it is vastly different from the draft he wrote before he parted ways from the production
YEAH.
SO.
metonymy: I CAN ONLY IMAGINE
HOLY FUCK
pocky_slash: So, considering he's been the one saying Kate and Betty was gonna happen from day one.
metonymy: I BET HE WOULDN'T HAVE KILLED VERA
OR MADE IT ALL TERRIBLE SPY SHENANIGANS
pocky_slash: BASICALLY
pocky_slash: Like
the main problem, I think (BESIDES VERA) is that is was an ensemble show
and it turned into the Gladys Witham Movie.
And I love Gladys
metonymy: it really did
but
it's not a single lead
pocky_slash: but Jakob and the spy people had more lines than some of our girls
Leon had ZERO lines
reggie wasn't even in it.
metonymy: SERIOUSLY
fuckin' a.
metonymy: ahahaha I'm finally reading your chat with renata
I like that our reactions were identical
pocky_slash: RIGHT?
Laura sent hers, too, and it was pretty much the same XD
metonymy: I LIKE YOUR NEW ENDING
pocky_slash: THANKS I WORKED REALLY HARD ON IT
metonymy: UGH. EVERYTHING IS TERRIBLE AND I'M SAD
pocky_slash: JUST THINK ABOUT MY SEQUEL
Think about Kate working really hard to make money off of her music.
metonymy: kaaaaaaaaate <333
pocky_slash: Practicing a lot with Leon and his band, inviting them over to the house with betty's permission
and singing songs and messing around with them, with Betty leaning against the wall with a cigarette and a drink, just watching.
metonymy: bettyyyyyy
omg
pocky_slash: And they start playing in the Jewel Box and Betty's still there, with a cigarette and a drink, watching and smiling.
And unlike Ivan or any of those other people, Betty doesn't pressure her or ask anything of her. She's just there to help when Kate needs it and to offer advice when Kate asks and to give Kate pep talks when she's down, in between working at the factory.
metonymy: UGH YES
pocky_slash: And Kate starts getting bigger and better gigs. And the right people start paying attention. And Betty is still right there, doing her own thing.
And Kate starts spending more time with Leon and his artsy cool friends and seeing how they live their lives however they like, with whomever they like.
And Leon and his friends are really insistant that everyone be themselves and everyone be accepted for who they are.
And then one night, a dude stops Kate after her set and she expects to have to turn him away when he tries to give her his number, like they always do, like she always does because she likes being Kate, not Mrs. whoever.
metonymy: PLEASE WRITE THIS.
I KNOW YOU'RE BUSY WITH MUTANTS AND YOU'RE ALREADY WRITING ME DAYS OF KITTY PAST
BUT
I WILL BRIBE YOU
pocky_slash: And instead he hands her a business card and says he's a record producer and he'd like to talk to her and her band about cutting a record.
And she's skeptical, but Leon assures her he knows of the dude and he's legit.
And Kate is so excited and she rushes backstage to tell Betty and Betty is all smiles and all happy and Kate just...kisses her.
metonymy: yessssssss
Random side note: in my dreams I could right-click on a tumblr tag and xkit would ask if I wanted to blacklist it
pocky_slash: Because Betty's been doing her own thing, too, and has cooled off at thinking of Kate as a prize to be won and has just supported her because she loves her, no strings.
And they live happily every after.
metonymy: yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay
pocky_slash: (And Vera is found alive due to some sort of snafu and is waiting for Marco when he comes home and they have babies.)
metonymy: ADORABLE WONDERFUL BABIES
pocky_slash: That sometimes Kate and Betty hold!
And somewhere along the line, something happens and Kate and Betty end up finding a little orphan baby of their own
metonymy: YES.
And finally, some Cardigan Central quotes as we were watching:
mcwonthelottery: "There's only two people in spy school--they're not doing too well!"
mcwonthelottery: "I think she just said your dick was small."
mcwonthelottery: "I'm glad Marco gave up all his dude friends to hang out with the ladies, at least two of whom he's slept with."
Gladys: "We're co-workers, Jane."
mcwonthelottery: "And I'm a spy. Whoops! You weren't supposed to know that!"
Gladys: "Maybe Clifford was wrong about me. Maybe I can't do this."
mcwonthelottery: "I mean, all evidence would point to that, Gladys. You're not doing a great job so far."
Ivan: "She's an orphan, she doesn't have any parents."
mcwonthelottery: "That's how I like 'em!"
mcwonthelottery: "This guy is like, 'I wish I had more people in spy school. This girl is awful.'"
mcwonthelottery: "That's the wrong thing to say. TERRIBLE SPY. Drink! We've found the perfect drinking game for this movie--drink every time Gladys is a terrible spy."
pocky_slash: We'd be blitzed ten minutes in!
Marco reading Vera's letter: "Gladys' gorgeous gowns!"
mcwonthelottery: "Gladys, you have no actual qualities."
pocky_slash: "I'm glad this guy is a better spy at least. Which is not saying much."
mcwonthelottery: "Gladys is second in her class at spy school."
pocky_slash: "Class of 2."
mcwonthelottery: "I'm glad Gladys was like, "Lorna, come play good-cop-bad-cop with me. Bring a pie."
pocky_slash: "I would watch that show."
mcwonthelottery: "The big reveal at the end should have been that Gladys never went to Spy School, it was just a barn. Bad Spy was like, 'Yeah, come to Spy School! Bring your vagina!' And then Gladys was like, 'Where are all the other spies?' so he was like, 'You, random dude, come to spy school. Bring whatever.' And he was like, 'Can I bring my spy stuff?' 'Ugh, really? You have to legitimize this? I just want to bone this girl!'"
mcwonthelottery: "Ugh, spy school. It's like the oldest trick in the book, Gladys!"
pocky_slash: "If God came down and was like, Kaitlyn, I will give you a second Bomb Girls movie--"
mcwonthelottery: "If god came down from heaven you would be like, 'Sorry, I don't believe in you' and he'd be like, 'Fine, then fuck this.'"