the sun better not come out until we're done with the cemetery
Good morning from the Toyota dealership, Internet! I am here to replace (it turns out) multiple bulbs on my car and get it inspected. I was really only here to replace one bulb and it get inspected, but it failed the inspection because other bulbs were out too. Woooo cars /o\
(I'm kvetching, but I love my car and absolutely would not give it up, even if it's expensive. This is just me paying my dues for independence of mobility. But I am allowed to whine about it, just like all of you are allowed to whine when your buses/trains are late or whatever, so don't get all passive-aggressive public transit high and mighty "well-what-do-you-expect-when-you-own-a-car?" on me.)
I forgot my headphones, so I only got a few words written here, despite the wifi, because the teevee is BLARING cable news. Hopefully I'll be able to make those up later today.
The writing experiment is continuing to go well! I have not missed a day so far, though without the going-to-work deadline, the weekends have been less productive. I'm still setting aside the time, but there are way fewer words than the days I have a silent, solid 45 minutes. I'm close-ish to finishing a thing, but I don't want to jinx it, and I REALLY need to start my secret_mutant fic and my SMM fics. Also, I need to make a couple reminder posts to the comms.
Tumblr hiatus is also going well. Not being on Tumblr is kind of great. I miss a couple people who aren't on el jay, but even though I know all sorts of chummy fandom things are probably happening without me, not having to see them means it doesn't bother me. I also officially switched my AO3 bookmark/open tab from just "X-Men: First Class" to "Erik Lehnsherr/Charles Xavier + complete" (with bookmarks for gen + complete and Alex/Darwin + complete that I check less frequently), so I've stopped getting my hopes up over seeing WsiP and then weeding through and finding no new fic, SO.
I can't believe it's been two and a half years since the movie! I can't believe it's going to be three years this summer! I can't believe we're getting a new movie! I am super stoked for Mutant Long Weekend, which is what I am calling the Mutant Brunch and Mutant Hang Outs and Mutant Multiple Movie Viewings Probably that littledust, chiasmus and I have tentatively planned.
***
Work is awful. I don't want to write about it ever because that means thinking about it.
***
I'm feeling slightly better? Like, everything is still awful, but it's a manageable level of awful or directly related to a thing being objectively awful and me reacting to it. Since Saturday night, I have only cried over a) work things or b) emotional things, like Batkid and touching animal cartoons and stuff. So, that's good. I'm still not feeling great and my motivation/energy is still completely shot and totally bottomed out. I really, really need to finish grad school stuff before I leave, but in addition to writing my personal statement, all of my references want me to write their reference letters as a character building exercise/because they're lazy/because they heard that's what Tamara asked me to do (Tamara, Doug, and my boss, guess which is which!), so.....yes. :\
Communicating is really hard. I am double and quadruple thinking everything I say/type and afraid that everyone who is not actively speaking to me at any given moment probably hates me, which is all brain stuff and not on any of you at all, obvs. Mostly, despite the fact that I can't stop feeling that way, I CAN acknowledge and it's illogical and just a symptom of the illness, not reality, so that helps a little.
idk, my head's above water. Talking to people is really hard. The end.
***
UGH THE CAR GUY JUST CAME BY THERE'S GOING TO BE ANOTHER $400 REPAIR SO IT WILL PASS INSPECTION I WANT TO DIE >:|
Also, I guess I just LIVE HERE NOW. >:|
Also also, WHY DID I DONATE ALL THAT MONEY TO CHARITY THIS MONTH I COULD BE USING THAT TO PAY FOR THESE CAR REPAIRS >:|
CARS >:| >:| >:|
***
How are you guys? Did you know Tiny Death Star is a thing? It is basically Tiny Tower, but it's a Death Star and all the Star Wars characters are there and the Emperor sends you on missions and it's GREAT.
Also...hm. Sleepy Hollow is still a terrible show that makes no sense, but is filled with an adorable cast. Parks and Rec is still a perfect show filled with perfect faces. I don't care about Supernatural and I especially don't care about Castiel and I REALLY didn't care that he held a baby and sang it the theme song to The Greatest American Hero. I started watching Brooklyn 99 and it's pretty good.
I think that's it! I hope everyone is well!
(I'm kvetching, but I love my car and absolutely would not give it up, even if it's expensive. This is just me paying my dues for independence of mobility. But I am allowed to whine about it, just like all of you are allowed to whine when your buses/trains are late or whatever, so don't get all passive-aggressive public transit high and mighty "well-what-do-you-expect-when-you-own-a-car?" on me.)
I forgot my headphones, so I only got a few words written here, despite the wifi, because the teevee is BLARING cable news. Hopefully I'll be able to make those up later today.
The writing experiment is continuing to go well! I have not missed a day so far, though without the going-to-work deadline, the weekends have been less productive. I'm still setting aside the time, but there are way fewer words than the days I have a silent, solid 45 minutes. I'm close-ish to finishing a thing, but I don't want to jinx it, and I REALLY need to start my secret_mutant fic and my SMM fics. Also, I need to make a couple reminder posts to the comms.
Tumblr hiatus is also going well. Not being on Tumblr is kind of great. I miss a couple people who aren't on el jay, but even though I know all sorts of chummy fandom things are probably happening without me, not having to see them means it doesn't bother me. I also officially switched my AO3 bookmark/open tab from just "X-Men: First Class" to "Erik Lehnsherr/Charles Xavier + complete" (with bookmarks for gen + complete and Alex/Darwin + complete that I check less frequently), so I've stopped getting my hopes up over seeing WsiP and then weeding through and finding no new fic, SO.
I can't believe it's been two and a half years since the movie! I can't believe it's going to be three years this summer! I can't believe we're getting a new movie! I am super stoked for Mutant Long Weekend, which is what I am calling the Mutant Brunch and Mutant Hang Outs and Mutant Multiple Movie Viewings Probably that littledust, chiasmus and I have tentatively planned.
***
Work is awful. I don't want to write about it ever because that means thinking about it.
***
I'm feeling slightly better? Like, everything is still awful, but it's a manageable level of awful or directly related to a thing being objectively awful and me reacting to it. Since Saturday night, I have only cried over a) work things or b) emotional things, like Batkid and touching animal cartoons and stuff. So, that's good. I'm still not feeling great and my motivation/energy is still completely shot and totally bottomed out. I really, really need to finish grad school stuff before I leave, but in addition to writing my personal statement, all of my references want me to write their reference letters as a character building exercise/because they're lazy/because they heard that's what Tamara asked me to do (Tamara, Doug, and my boss, guess which is which!), so.....yes. :\
Communicating is really hard. I am double and quadruple thinking everything I say/type and afraid that everyone who is not actively speaking to me at any given moment probably hates me, which is all brain stuff and not on any of you at all, obvs. Mostly, despite the fact that I can't stop feeling that way, I CAN acknowledge and it's illogical and just a symptom of the illness, not reality, so that helps a little.
idk, my head's above water. Talking to people is really hard. The end.
***
UGH THE CAR GUY JUST CAME BY THERE'S GOING TO BE ANOTHER $400 REPAIR SO IT WILL PASS INSPECTION I WANT TO DIE >:|
Also, I guess I just LIVE HERE NOW. >:|
Also also, WHY DID I DONATE ALL THAT MONEY TO CHARITY THIS MONTH I COULD BE USING THAT TO PAY FOR THESE CAR REPAIRS >:|
CARS >:| >:| >:|
***
How are you guys? Did you know Tiny Death Star is a thing? It is basically Tiny Tower, but it's a Death Star and all the Star Wars characters are there and the Emperor sends you on missions and it's GREAT.
Also...hm. Sleepy Hollow is still a terrible show that makes no sense, but is filled with an adorable cast. Parks and Rec is still a perfect show filled with perfect faces. I don't care about Supernatural and I especially don't care about Castiel and I REALLY didn't care that he held a baby and sang it the theme song to The Greatest American Hero. I started watching Brooklyn 99 and it's pretty good.
I think that's it! I hope everyone is well!