i would like my boss to go back on vacation please
Good morning, internet.
It is a sort of melancholy morning here, for many reasons. My brain is just not going for my forced merriment, it seems. October went by much too fast and there's so much I didn't get done. What's coming up doesn't look too good, either, so I've been hyperfocused on my trip out west at the end of November.
Work wise...things are awful and I can't make myself focus on anything. We're all miserable. I'm actively looking for a new full time job, should anyone in Boston know of anything interesting.
***
In less depressing news, we were out in NY for quatredeathlady's birthday party this weekend! It ended up being just the four of us, but we had a lot of fun. We watched many movies and Nicole and I went to a haunted thing that was EXCELLENT. We also ate SO MUCH FOOD. Christ. It was unending. Everyone's costumes were fab--it was Night Vale themed, and Nicole and Christine dressed as Kevin and Cecil. I reprised my Faceless Old Woman costume, and Becca did Ron Swanson.
Pictures here!
It was nice to get out to see them, party or no, and I only wish we could have stayed longer.
***
Writing has not been going so well lately. I don't know what is wrong with my brain. I'm questioning my choices to a debilitating degree. Normally, I'm able to ignore everything and work on a thing and while I might not think it's that great when I'm done, I generally don't care and post it anyway. I've abandoned three projects in the past month for dumb reasons, but I'm being so self-critical that it's difficult to pursue things when working under the assumption that a) I'm terrible and b) no one really likes/cares what I put out anyway.
Last night I read a new fic that dabbles in one of the tropes I'm writing at the moment and I've been utterly stalled out on it ever since. It's not even that we were writing the same thing--we went in totally different directions with the concept. But their direction is arguably better and more subtle and better serves the story the writer was telling, while mine is...not very good and amateurish in comparison. And normally, I'd push through anyway. That's what I'm always telling people--it's fandom, everyone is going to write every trope. You shouldn't stop writing something just because someone else has "already done it," because EVERYONE is doing it and every story brings something new to it. But apparently when it comes to myself, lately, I can't see the point in pushing forward with something that is going to seem so silly compared to other works.
It's really, really stupid. I still ENJOY writing, but apparently enjoyment is easily overshouted by self-doubt in my brain right now.
That's all to say, it's made writing very difficult and every day I go without writing anything, the worse I feel, so I'm basically a mess right now.
***
Also, in major life news--I guess this should have its own entry, but whatever--I'm going back to school. I'm going to apply to library school for a Fall 2014 start date. I'll probably be going part time, at least for the first year, and working full time.
The idea of sustaining this job (especially as the local company falls down around us and the corporate parent takes more and more control) until I'm done with my degree is nauseating, though, so I'm also looking for a new full time job. So...if you know anywhere cool with an opening, let me know? I have office experience and customer service experience and event planning experience.
***
That’s basically it for me right now. I might try to write some more. I should take out my laptop and make the last couple dog park signs, but maybe I’ll save that until lunch. Oh, it’s almost 11:30. Maybe I’ll go get lunch.
It is a sort of melancholy morning here, for many reasons. My brain is just not going for my forced merriment, it seems. October went by much too fast and there's so much I didn't get done. What's coming up doesn't look too good, either, so I've been hyperfocused on my trip out west at the end of November.
Work wise...things are awful and I can't make myself focus on anything. We're all miserable. I'm actively looking for a new full time job, should anyone in Boston know of anything interesting.
***
In less depressing news, we were out in NY for quatredeathlady's birthday party this weekend! It ended up being just the four of us, but we had a lot of fun. We watched many movies and Nicole and I went to a haunted thing that was EXCELLENT. We also ate SO MUCH FOOD. Christ. It was unending. Everyone's costumes were fab--it was Night Vale themed, and Nicole and Christine dressed as Kevin and Cecil. I reprised my Faceless Old Woman costume, and Becca did Ron Swanson.
Pictures here!
It was nice to get out to see them, party or no, and I only wish we could have stayed longer.
***
Writing has not been going so well lately. I don't know what is wrong with my brain. I'm questioning my choices to a debilitating degree. Normally, I'm able to ignore everything and work on a thing and while I might not think it's that great when I'm done, I generally don't care and post it anyway. I've abandoned three projects in the past month for dumb reasons, but I'm being so self-critical that it's difficult to pursue things when working under the assumption that a) I'm terrible and b) no one really likes/cares what I put out anyway.
Last night I read a new fic that dabbles in one of the tropes I'm writing at the moment and I've been utterly stalled out on it ever since. It's not even that we were writing the same thing--we went in totally different directions with the concept. But their direction is arguably better and more subtle and better serves the story the writer was telling, while mine is...not very good and amateurish in comparison. And normally, I'd push through anyway. That's what I'm always telling people--it's fandom, everyone is going to write every trope. You shouldn't stop writing something just because someone else has "already done it," because EVERYONE is doing it and every story brings something new to it. But apparently when it comes to myself, lately, I can't see the point in pushing forward with something that is going to seem so silly compared to other works.
It's really, really stupid. I still ENJOY writing, but apparently enjoyment is easily overshouted by self-doubt in my brain right now.
That's all to say, it's made writing very difficult and every day I go without writing anything, the worse I feel, so I'm basically a mess right now.
***
Also, in major life news--I guess this should have its own entry, but whatever--I'm going back to school. I'm going to apply to library school for a Fall 2014 start date. I'll probably be going part time, at least for the first year, and working full time.
The idea of sustaining this job (especially as the local company falls down around us and the corporate parent takes more and more control) until I'm done with my degree is nauseating, though, so I'm also looking for a new full time job. So...if you know anywhere cool with an opening, let me know? I have office experience and customer service experience and event planning experience.
***
That’s basically it for me right now. I might try to write some more. I should take out my laptop and make the last couple dog park signs, but maybe I’ll save that until lunch. Oh, it’s almost 11:30. Maybe I’ll go get lunch.