"i was like, 'he's probably going to be nominated for an oscar, so i should be nice to him.'"
LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT MY DREAM WHERE I TAUGHT MICHAEL FASSBENDER HOW TO USE EMAIL.
I was at some... party or something? But in a public place, like a cafe, but there was a computer I was using. And I was making a LiveJournal post or an email (?) (Oh man, actually, email makes more sense now that I think about it, but it was a dream, so what do I know?) and I got up to talk to someone and Fassbender sits down at my computer (at this point I will remind everyone once again that this was a dream, because more than once I've posted weird dreams, someone's missed the first line where I said it was a dream, and then freaked out that it actually happened) and starts deleting my text. Like, one letter at a time using the delete key.
So I'm simultaneously like, "Excuse me?!" and "Oh, honey, really?" I go over and tell him I was sitting there and ask if he needs any help and he's like, "Oh, I'm sorry, I just really quickly need to send an email."
And I say, "Okay, that's fine" and open a new tab for him and he just kind of stares at it blankly. And I say, "What email do you have?"
And he says, "I don't know."
And I say, "So what's your email address?" and he says something I can't remember, but it was at GMail. I open GMail in the tab for him and walk him through how to do an email. And I'm thinking, You are not that old! Have you never used a computer before? Have you never played a character who's used a computer before?
But I walk him through it and teach him how to highlight and delete if he's deleteing a lot of text so he doesn't have to keep hitting the delete key. And he's like, "Oh, wow, thank you so much, this was great, I'm really bad at this stuff," and then he goes to close the whole window instead of the tab! And I'm like, "NO. HONEY. THAT'S NOT HOW THIS WORKS." And I show him how to close ONE TAB to get rid of his window and still keep everything else open. And he's like, "Wow, I didn't know that! Thank you!"
Kait: Reading this over, all that comes through is that I'm really frustrated with Fassbender! Jesus, close the tab, not the window, everyone knows that!
Becca: It's like he's an actual shark who has never been taught to use technology.
Becca: You were at a party and you were on the computer. Already this is accurate for life.
Kait: I know, right?
Becca: You're at a party with Michael Fassbender and you're like, "I have to go update LiveJournal."
Kait: He might not even have been at the party, he could have just wandered off the street to find a computer given he doesn't know how email works.
Becca: He just goes up to every house. "I have to send an email. Do you have internets here?"
Kait: Oh god, now every time I think about Fassbender I'm just going to think he's DUMB.
Becca: I hope his email was sharkheadstupidface@gmail.com.
I was at some... party or something? But in a public place, like a cafe, but there was a computer I was using. And I was making a LiveJournal post or an email (?) (Oh man, actually, email makes more sense now that I think about it, but it was a dream, so what do I know?) and I got up to talk to someone and Fassbender sits down at my computer (at this point I will remind everyone once again that this was a dream, because more than once I've posted weird dreams, someone's missed the first line where I said it was a dream, and then freaked out that it actually happened) and starts deleting my text. Like, one letter at a time using the delete key.
So I'm simultaneously like, "Excuse me?!" and "Oh, honey, really?" I go over and tell him I was sitting there and ask if he needs any help and he's like, "Oh, I'm sorry, I just really quickly need to send an email."
And I say, "Okay, that's fine" and open a new tab for him and he just kind of stares at it blankly. And I say, "What email do you have?"
And he says, "I don't know."
And I say, "So what's your email address?" and he says something I can't remember, but it was at GMail. I open GMail in the tab for him and walk him through how to do an email. And I'm thinking, You are not that old! Have you never used a computer before? Have you never played a character who's used a computer before?
But I walk him through it and teach him how to highlight and delete if he's deleteing a lot of text so he doesn't have to keep hitting the delete key. And he's like, "Oh, wow, thank you so much, this was great, I'm really bad at this stuff," and then he goes to close the whole window instead of the tab! And I'm like, "NO. HONEY. THAT'S NOT HOW THIS WORKS." And I show him how to close ONE TAB to get rid of his window and still keep everything else open. And he's like, "Wow, I didn't know that! Thank you!"
Kait: Reading this over, all that comes through is that I'm really frustrated with Fassbender! Jesus, close the tab, not the window, everyone knows that!
Becca: It's like he's an actual shark who has never been taught to use technology.
Becca: You were at a party and you were on the computer. Already this is accurate for life.
Kait: I know, right?
Becca: You're at a party with Michael Fassbender and you're like, "I have to go update LiveJournal."
Kait: He might not even have been at the party, he could have just wandered off the street to find a computer given he doesn't know how email works.
Becca: He just goes up to every house. "I have to send an email. Do you have internets here?"
Kait: Oh god, now every time I think about Fassbender I'm just going to think he's DUMB.
Becca: I hope his email was sharkheadstupidface@gmail.com.