so i'll stop and i'll watch you, for i love, i love, and then be on my way
So, I wrote this for a mix for littledust and brilligspoons and ended up cutting it because it was the only ficlet from Erik's POV. (Yes, I did say "mix" the first time and "ficlet" the second time. I felt compelled to write for each of the songs. I have a sickness.) Figured I'd throw it up here rather than toss it, because someone might get some joy out of it.
***
and i'd not believed it til i loved, i loved
the rivers sing and stars awaken above me
and the wind and the moon in fits of restless conspiring
turn night to heaven for you
but i am going to a far, far land
i know it sure as i've a past and a future
with my maps on the table, you see, i have lost many things
so many i won't turn back
Erik is going to die killing Shaw.
He knows it. He's known it forever. Shaw is obscenely powerful and Erik's control is still aggravatingly dependent on his unstable emotions. Erik doesn't doubt that he can beat him, he just doesn't think he'll be walking away from it.
It's never bothered him before, not really. There's nothing on this earth to keep him, not after the death of his parents.
Not until now, at least. Not until he met Charles.
Erik knows he's in love with Charles. He thinks maybe he should balk or deny it, but that's never been his way. Erik doesn't lie to himself and he doesn't see a reason to lie about how he feels about Charles, as irritating and infuriating as Charles can sometimes be. Charles is strangely delightful and unexpectedly beautiful and Erik's only regret is that they have no future, because Erik has no future. Erik is on a journey and he can't stop, not even for Charles, not even when the idea of a life lived with Charles, finding and training other mutants, shaping the history of their species, is so appealing.
So Erik keeps a hand splayed on Charles' stomach as he sleeps, drinks in the sight of him as much as he can manage. Erik tells Charles he's unbelievable and fascinating and, yes, that he loves him, and hopes that it will be enough to make up for their eventual parting.
***
and i'd not believed it til i loved, i loved
the rivers sing and stars awaken above me
and the wind and the moon in fits of restless conspiring
turn night to heaven for you
but i am going to a far, far land
i know it sure as i've a past and a future
with my maps on the table, you see, i have lost many things
so many i won't turn back
Erik is going to die killing Shaw.
He knows it. He's known it forever. Shaw is obscenely powerful and Erik's control is still aggravatingly dependent on his unstable emotions. Erik doesn't doubt that he can beat him, he just doesn't think he'll be walking away from it.
It's never bothered him before, not really. There's nothing on this earth to keep him, not after the death of his parents.
Not until now, at least. Not until he met Charles.
Erik knows he's in love with Charles. He thinks maybe he should balk or deny it, but that's never been his way. Erik doesn't lie to himself and he doesn't see a reason to lie about how he feels about Charles, as irritating and infuriating as Charles can sometimes be. Charles is strangely delightful and unexpectedly beautiful and Erik's only regret is that they have no future, because Erik has no future. Erik is on a journey and he can't stop, not even for Charles, not even when the idea of a life lived with Charles, finding and training other mutants, shaping the history of their species, is so appealing.
So Erik keeps a hand splayed on Charles' stomach as he sleeps, drinks in the sight of him as much as he can manage. Erik tells Charles he's unbelievable and fascinating and, yes, that he loves him, and hopes that it will be enough to make up for their eventual parting.