Bad Movie Weekend Contd: Spiral and Karla
Picking up right where we left off...
We were so jazzed from how hilarious Stonehenge Apocalypse was that we didn't even need a filler movie/teevee show to cleanse our palates before continuing. We just popped open a bottle of wine and hit play on the next film straight off.
Here is the thing about Spiral--it was directed by the same dude who wrote/directed Frozen. We really hoped it would be as awesomely bad as Frozen was and we were already excited to cast the new Barrowman and Chubs. We had high hopes because this one had actual actors in it! That kid from Chuck! Amber Tamblyn! It would be hilariously bad!
Or not.
You'll have to bear with me for this review--I honestly have no idea what was happening at any given point. It was SO BORING. SO RIDICULOUS. SO WHIMSICAL.
The Chubs of this movie is the protagonist. It starts off with him having a fit and calling the Chuck Kid in the middle of the night. The Chuck Kid tells him to shut the fuck up and go to sleep. (The Chuck Kid is the Barrowman of this movie.) The next day, we follow Chubs to work, where he is a telemarketer for an insurance firm. ChuckKid is is supervisor and only friend and his co-workers include The Wolf (a nickname in reference to the wolves in Frozen) and ~*Whimsy Girl*~, Amber Tamblyn, whose nickname is in reference to the two summaries on IMDB that refer to her character as Chubs' ~*Whimsical Coworker*~. Ugh. The Whimsy. But pretty much, Chubs sucks at his job and The Wolf likes to rub it in every day.
Becca: "He looks up, the wolf's over there. He's like, '*taptaptap* I just sold 17 policies.'"
Kait: "'Hey, you want to go skiing this weekend?'"
So, apparently Chubs' life sucks, his only friend is ChuckKid, and everyone at work makes fun of him. ChuckKid gives him a ride home from work in the rain and possibly sexually molests him in the car.
Kait: "I forgot he was Barrowman! Of course he was sexually assaulting him in there."
Becca: "Hello best friend! How's your penis?"
The next day at work, ~*Whimsy Girl*~ sits down next to Chubs on his lonely lunch bench and starts talking at him. Like, a lot. I don't think he even acknowledges her. This repeats the next day, after a confusing night of Chubs going home and being scared of a glowing closet in his apartment?
Becca: "What's in there? Is it just like a closet he doesn't go in?"
Kait: "It's Barrowman's love den."
~*Whimsy Girl*~ is sad because she's a shitty telemarketer and afraid to be fired. She cries and shit. Chubs just kind of ignores her, but when he's leaving that night (in the rain, again) she magically appears with an umbrella and walks him home, spouting ~*whimsy*~ the entire way. This was the point when we started begging Chubs to kill her.
Kait: "I would rather be in Barrowman's car, with him touching my dick."
Becca: "I would rather have Barrowman's dick up my ass and not even come."
Becca: "Oh god, is she still out there being whimsical?"
Kait: "I can't wait til he eviscerates her."
Becca: "I hope he kills her and eats her flesh."
The days within the movie blur together in a horrible mush of this girl's ~*Whimsy*~. Chubs is an artist and we see some suspicious scenes of him looking at sketches of other girls and throwing out all these paintings of other girls that it's hinted that he's known and painted. We continue to hate ~*Whimsy Girl*~ with the passion of a thousand suns, to the point where our entire sense of self has been challenged and changed by the fervor of our intense hatred for her.
Kait: "I would rather watch Barrowman fuck that dude."
Becca: "I hate her so much, I would rather watch actualfax Barrowman fucking."
Becca: "Amber Tamblyn, I hate you so much right now that I would rather watch Barrowman's dick."
ChuckKid takes Chubs to a record store where Chubs is looking for a jazz record. NOT a "smooth jazz" record because that's TOTALLY DIFFERENT and Chubs is totes offended that ChuckKid doesn't recognize that.
ChuckKid: "What about this one?"
Chubs: "No."
Becca: "That's your penis."
ChuckKid: "You barely even looked at it!"
Chubs has these rules about the sketches he's started doing of ~*Whimsy Girl*~. She's not allowed to look at the next poses he has planned. Or even ask about them. Or acknowledge them at all. She's all ~*whimsical*~ about it and stops asking him. There's a bit where ChuckKid and Chubs play basketball and visit a cemetery. Or something.
Becca: "He's like, 'These are the other girls I've painted. These four tombstones.'"
ChuckKid: "Are you asking me if your old man is going to hell?"
Becca: "What did he do? Was it interesting? Did he touch you in your no-no place, Chuck?"
At this point, we were willing to latch onto anything that made this movie even the least bit interesting. Anything. The movie just gave us more ~*Whimsy Girl.*~
Kait: "I never thought there would be someone who could make me want to rather spend time with Barrowman than them. Then I met this girl."
Kait: "I'd rather watch Misha Collins and Barrowman fuck than watch this."
Becca: "Me too. I'm sorry Misha, wherever you are. Though I think he'd be into it."
Then, ChuckKid has a party where The Wolf and ChuckKid are social and play video games and Chubs sits there awkwardly with his pack lunch (?) until ~*Whimsy Girl*~ finds him in a corner and they go off to paint. But this is the NAKED painting. FINALLY the movie might get interesting!
Kait: "I could forgive her if she showed her tits."
Unfortunately, there was no tit showing. No matter how much I begged for it. Instead, Chubs paints ~*Whimsy Girl*~ and they have an emotional conversation about Chubs' dad, I think? Or something. Whatever, at the end of it, she takes off her clothes and there's not even a fade-to-black. It just suddenly flicks to the morning after. All of these HOURS of boredom and we didn't even get a sex scene. It was tragic.
Chubs leaves ~*Whimsy Girl*~ in bed and goes to make breakfast. All he has is peanut butter and apples.
Chubs: "All I have is peanut butter. Oh, I have apples too!"
Becca: "Oh my god, he's you!"
Kait: "Oh god, if I ever turn into that..."
Becca: "Don't worry. If that happens I'll show up and touch you in the no-no place."
While Chubs is making breakfast, ~*Whimsy Girl*~ looks through his cabinets and finds sketchbooks filled with other girls in the exact same poses he's had her in. The last page on each one is ripped out and that's the page she's up to. She panics and hides the books and tries to act all normal, but there's a distinct lack of her usual ~*whimsy*~, thank god. The next day, Chubs is all cheerful and shit at work and tells ChuckKid that he wants to invite ~*Whimsy Girl*~ to the Christmas dinner that they apparently have together. This might be the point where I hypothesized that ~*Whimsy Girl*~ was his Tyler Durden. Actually, I think I made that prediction at the very beginning. Anyway, ChuckKid is all, "You do this every year, Chubs! It's not healthy! You're just going to be sad and let down again! Let's fuck in my office, it will make you feel better!"
I might have made that last bit up.
Anyway, Chubs insists and the next scene is awkward Christmas dinner with ChuckKid, his unnamed ladyfriend, and Chubs waiting for ~*Whimsy Girl*~. When ChuckKid convinces Chubs that she's not coming, he goes back to his apartment. I took a bathroom break at that point. I had finished the bottle of wine and, tragically, it hadn't made the movie any better. I needed to switch to Scotch. When I got back, Becca filled me in on what I missed.
Becca: "I told Chubs to jack off on the painting cause at least that would be interesting. Instead he answered the door and fucking whimsy girl was there."
I think they fought or something? I was pretty drunk by that point, but if they DID fight, it wasn't an interesting fight. Chubs dragged her into the glowy closet of Barrowman's Love Den. Or something. Anyway, whatever, the next morning Chubs shows up at work and goes to find ChuckKid in his office, sobbing about how he killed this girl.
Becca: "It's amazing that I'm so bored by this that I ship it. I just want the Chuck kid to hold him down and fuck him."
ChuckKid tearfully explains to Chubs that he didn't really kill anyone and then informs the audience that Chubs' dad killed some chick and ever since, Chubs has made up these girls, drawn them, painted based on his sketches, then destroyed the paintings and come into work sobbing about how he killed a girl. But ChuckKid stuck by him out of deep love or something. I don't even know, guys, we were just so shocked that something INTERESTING had finally happened. Also, that I so called that ~*Whimsy Girl*~ was Chubs' Tyler Durden.
Becca: "Oh my god, this movie is like Fight Club except fucking boring!"
Kait: "Oh my god, Chuck kid is so emotionally invested in this!"
Becca: "Oh my god, fuck him, Chubs!"
Becca: "Oh my god, we need to start this fandom! From the girl who brought you Rent fandom and the only person who ships Owen/Ianto..."
ChuckKid sends Chubs to wash the "paint" off of his hands, at which point The Wolf comes into ChuckKid's office. They lament about how tragic Chubs is, and then The Wolf is like, "By the way, one of my sales girls is missing. Her name is ~*Whimsy Girl*~ and she's been out since yesterday and her mom is worried."
DUN DUN DUN. The movie literally waited until the last line to be at all interesting and deliver all twists. At this point, we were drunk and outraged that there was a legitimately interesting movie hidden in all the boringness. We wanted to watch the movie from ChuckKid's point of view where he watches Chubs fall into this obsession with what he thinks is an imaginary girl only to have that revelation at the end. We wanted something more Fight Club esque. Hell, we wanted ANYTHING instead of that. We would watch actualfax Barrowman porn than watch that again.
Kait: "I thought the scotch would make it better!"
Kait: "Quick! We need to be taking these names in the credits down! We have a lot of hate mail to write tonight."
Kait: "I don't even know how to tweet the part where the Wolf and Chuck Kid and Chubs go skiing."
Becca: "I can't wait until you write the part where the Wolf and Chuck kid go buy shoes because you ship them BFF style."
Becca: "I feel like we should watch Shark Attack 3 to feel better about ourselves."
This movie shook the very foundations of my faith in myself. Previous to this, my worst nightmare was being stuck next to Barrowman on a flight with no book/Kindle/iPod/computer, forced to talk to him. (Well, second worst nightmare. Worst nightmare is still Barrowman fuck-or-die.) Now, given the choice between watching this movie or talking to Barrowman on a flight, I'd have to think about it.
Kait: Would there be alcohol?
Becca: Yes, but he gets it too, and the more he drinks, the handsier he gets.
Anyway, by this point I had so much Scotch that I could barely type. Becca could have put on Supernatural and I wouldn't have noticed or cared. Instead, she put on a "based on true events" made-for-teevee Misha Collins movie that she THOUGHT had his hipbones in it. She was wrong. And I was forced to admit that there was a movie worse than the one we just watched, and that was the one we were about to watch.
"I hope the girl from That 70s Show is the Barrowman in this one."
"I hope so too."
I can't do a summary for this one guys. For one, I was too drunk to pay attention to the first half. For another... it was that bad. Misha Collins plays a serial rapist. The girl from That 70's Show plays his wife/accomplice, Karla, who is telling the story to her shrink from jail. The movie details everything from them meeting to them being caught for raping and killing girls. And it's just AWFUL. There are no redeeming qualities in this movie. THERE AREN'T EVEN TITS.
So, here are just some quotes from us watching it.
Becca: "I feel like Misha Collins is the Barrowman in this one again. But he can't act."
Kait: "So he's REALLY the $45 Barrowman in this one. He's not even worth the extra $5."
Kait: "Is Misha Collins a rapist in this movie?"
Becca: "I don't know. IT'S BARROWMAN! IT'S BARROWMAN'S FAULT!"
Kait: "Okay, Barrowman's the rapist."
Becca: "Is everyone terrible?"
Kait: "Just drink more Scotch."
Becca: "I CAN'T."
Kait: "No! Scroll down! Tits! I'm glad I jsut became an accomplice in this date rape."
Becca: "Misha Collins' dick would be more exciting than this."
Kait: "That means nothing. An hour ago BARROWMAN'S dick was more interesting than what we were doing."
Kait: "So you just downloaded this random movie where Misha Collins is a saerial rapist?"
Becca: "Well, that's still relevant to my interests."
Becca: "Are you still laughing cause I'm hiccuping?"
Kait: "Yes."
Becca: "Well, fuck you! I got you tits and everything."
Becca: "He looks like he wants to join the master race."
Kait: "I was going to say Swing Kids, so same diff."
Kait: "I'm thinking of S7 of House with Chase naked in handcuffs all the time. And sometimes House touches his face."
Becca: "And sometimes Chase has wings."
Becca: "He has lady hands. And lady wrists. It's just like being with a lady."
Kait: "Except for the dick."
Becca: "Girls with dicks need love too."
Becca: "Chubs from the DeKay movie would be a better Chubs in this."
Kait: "He'd be super into it!"
Becca: "He'd be like, 'Is there paperwork involved?' And Misha Collins would be like, 'No, just raping bitches!' and he'd be like 'I'm on that!'"
Becca: "I'm gonna write some Chubs/Chuck Guy non-con, okay?"
Pretty much the highlight of the movie was me being able to pick out the guy who played Larry on The West Wing from a gaggle of detectives early on. Which just goes to show how crazy ridic I am at The West Wing.
***
Anyway, that concludes this edition of BAD MOVIE WEEKEND. Remember, kids, we watch these movies so you don't have to! And you should thank god for that.
We were so jazzed from how hilarious Stonehenge Apocalypse was that we didn't even need a filler movie/teevee show to cleanse our palates before continuing. We just popped open a bottle of wine and hit play on the next film straight off.
Here is the thing about Spiral--it was directed by the same dude who wrote/directed Frozen. We really hoped it would be as awesomely bad as Frozen was and we were already excited to cast the new Barrowman and Chubs. We had high hopes because this one had actual actors in it! That kid from Chuck! Amber Tamblyn! It would be hilariously bad!
Or not.
You'll have to bear with me for this review--I honestly have no idea what was happening at any given point. It was SO BORING. SO RIDICULOUS. SO WHIMSICAL.
The Chubs of this movie is the protagonist. It starts off with him having a fit and calling the Chuck Kid in the middle of the night. The Chuck Kid tells him to shut the fuck up and go to sleep. (The Chuck Kid is the Barrowman of this movie.) The next day, we follow Chubs to work, where he is a telemarketer for an insurance firm. ChuckKid is is supervisor and only friend and his co-workers include The Wolf (a nickname in reference to the wolves in Frozen) and ~*Whimsy Girl*~, Amber Tamblyn, whose nickname is in reference to the two summaries on IMDB that refer to her character as Chubs' ~*Whimsical Coworker*~. Ugh. The Whimsy. But pretty much, Chubs sucks at his job and The Wolf likes to rub it in every day.
Becca: "He looks up, the wolf's over there. He's like, '*taptaptap* I just sold 17 policies.'"
Kait: "'Hey, you want to go skiing this weekend?'"
So, apparently Chubs' life sucks, his only friend is ChuckKid, and everyone at work makes fun of him. ChuckKid gives him a ride home from work in the rain and possibly sexually molests him in the car.
Kait: "I forgot he was Barrowman! Of course he was sexually assaulting him in there."
Becca: "Hello best friend! How's your penis?"
The next day at work, ~*Whimsy Girl*~ sits down next to Chubs on his lonely lunch bench and starts talking at him. Like, a lot. I don't think he even acknowledges her. This repeats the next day, after a confusing night of Chubs going home and being scared of a glowing closet in his apartment?
Becca: "What's in there? Is it just like a closet he doesn't go in?"
Kait: "It's Barrowman's love den."
~*Whimsy Girl*~ is sad because she's a shitty telemarketer and afraid to be fired. She cries and shit. Chubs just kind of ignores her, but when he's leaving that night (in the rain, again) she magically appears with an umbrella and walks him home, spouting ~*whimsy*~ the entire way. This was the point when we started begging Chubs to kill her.
Kait: "I would rather be in Barrowman's car, with him touching my dick."
Becca: "I would rather have Barrowman's dick up my ass and not even come."
Becca: "Oh god, is she still out there being whimsical?"
Kait: "I can't wait til he eviscerates her."
Becca: "I hope he kills her and eats her flesh."
The days within the movie blur together in a horrible mush of this girl's ~*Whimsy*~. Chubs is an artist and we see some suspicious scenes of him looking at sketches of other girls and throwing out all these paintings of other girls that it's hinted that he's known and painted. We continue to hate ~*Whimsy Girl*~ with the passion of a thousand suns, to the point where our entire sense of self has been challenged and changed by the fervor of our intense hatred for her.
Kait: "I would rather watch Barrowman fuck that dude."
Becca: "I hate her so much, I would rather watch actualfax Barrowman fucking."
Becca: "Amber Tamblyn, I hate you so much right now that I would rather watch Barrowman's dick."
ChuckKid takes Chubs to a record store where Chubs is looking for a jazz record. NOT a "smooth jazz" record because that's TOTALLY DIFFERENT and Chubs is totes offended that ChuckKid doesn't recognize that.
ChuckKid: "What about this one?"
Chubs: "No."
Becca: "That's your penis."
ChuckKid: "You barely even looked at it!"
Chubs has these rules about the sketches he's started doing of ~*Whimsy Girl*~. She's not allowed to look at the next poses he has planned. Or even ask about them. Or acknowledge them at all. She's all ~*whimsical*~ about it and stops asking him. There's a bit where ChuckKid and Chubs play basketball and visit a cemetery. Or something.
Becca: "He's like, 'These are the other girls I've painted. These four tombstones.'"
ChuckKid: "Are you asking me if your old man is going to hell?"
Becca: "What did he do? Was it interesting? Did he touch you in your no-no place, Chuck?"
At this point, we were willing to latch onto anything that made this movie even the least bit interesting. Anything. The movie just gave us more ~*Whimsy Girl.*~
Kait: "I never thought there would be someone who could make me want to rather spend time with Barrowman than them. Then I met this girl."
Kait: "I'd rather watch Misha Collins and Barrowman fuck than watch this."
Becca: "Me too. I'm sorry Misha, wherever you are. Though I think he'd be into it."
Then, ChuckKid has a party where The Wolf and ChuckKid are social and play video games and Chubs sits there awkwardly with his pack lunch (?) until ~*Whimsy Girl*~ finds him in a corner and they go off to paint. But this is the NAKED painting. FINALLY the movie might get interesting!
Kait: "I could forgive her if she showed her tits."
Unfortunately, there was no tit showing. No matter how much I begged for it. Instead, Chubs paints ~*Whimsy Girl*~ and they have an emotional conversation about Chubs' dad, I think? Or something. Whatever, at the end of it, she takes off her clothes and there's not even a fade-to-black. It just suddenly flicks to the morning after. All of these HOURS of boredom and we didn't even get a sex scene. It was tragic.
Chubs leaves ~*Whimsy Girl*~ in bed and goes to make breakfast. All he has is peanut butter and apples.
Chubs: "All I have is peanut butter. Oh, I have apples too!"
Becca: "Oh my god, he's you!"
Kait: "Oh god, if I ever turn into that..."
Becca: "Don't worry. If that happens I'll show up and touch you in the no-no place."
While Chubs is making breakfast, ~*Whimsy Girl*~ looks through his cabinets and finds sketchbooks filled with other girls in the exact same poses he's had her in. The last page on each one is ripped out and that's the page she's up to. She panics and hides the books and tries to act all normal, but there's a distinct lack of her usual ~*whimsy*~, thank god. The next day, Chubs is all cheerful and shit at work and tells ChuckKid that he wants to invite ~*Whimsy Girl*~ to the Christmas dinner that they apparently have together. This might be the point where I hypothesized that ~*Whimsy Girl*~ was his Tyler Durden. Actually, I think I made that prediction at the very beginning. Anyway, ChuckKid is all, "You do this every year, Chubs! It's not healthy! You're just going to be sad and let down again! Let's fuck in my office, it will make you feel better!"
I might have made that last bit up.
Anyway, Chubs insists and the next scene is awkward Christmas dinner with ChuckKid, his unnamed ladyfriend, and Chubs waiting for ~*Whimsy Girl*~. When ChuckKid convinces Chubs that she's not coming, he goes back to his apartment. I took a bathroom break at that point. I had finished the bottle of wine and, tragically, it hadn't made the movie any better. I needed to switch to Scotch. When I got back, Becca filled me in on what I missed.
Becca: "I told Chubs to jack off on the painting cause at least that would be interesting. Instead he answered the door and fucking whimsy girl was there."
I think they fought or something? I was pretty drunk by that point, but if they DID fight, it wasn't an interesting fight. Chubs dragged her into the glowy closet of Barrowman's Love Den. Or something. Anyway, whatever, the next morning Chubs shows up at work and goes to find ChuckKid in his office, sobbing about how he killed this girl.
Becca: "It's amazing that I'm so bored by this that I ship it. I just want the Chuck kid to hold him down and fuck him."
ChuckKid tearfully explains to Chubs that he didn't really kill anyone and then informs the audience that Chubs' dad killed some chick and ever since, Chubs has made up these girls, drawn them, painted based on his sketches, then destroyed the paintings and come into work sobbing about how he killed a girl. But ChuckKid stuck by him out of deep love or something. I don't even know, guys, we were just so shocked that something INTERESTING had finally happened. Also, that I so called that ~*Whimsy Girl*~ was Chubs' Tyler Durden.
Becca: "Oh my god, this movie is like Fight Club except fucking boring!"
Kait: "Oh my god, Chuck kid is so emotionally invested in this!"
Becca: "Oh my god, fuck him, Chubs!"
Becca: "Oh my god, we need to start this fandom! From the girl who brought you Rent fandom and the only person who ships Owen/Ianto..."
ChuckKid sends Chubs to wash the "paint" off of his hands, at which point The Wolf comes into ChuckKid's office. They lament about how tragic Chubs is, and then The Wolf is like, "By the way, one of my sales girls is missing. Her name is ~*Whimsy Girl*~ and she's been out since yesterday and her mom is worried."
DUN DUN DUN. The movie literally waited until the last line to be at all interesting and deliver all twists. At this point, we were drunk and outraged that there was a legitimately interesting movie hidden in all the boringness. We wanted to watch the movie from ChuckKid's point of view where he watches Chubs fall into this obsession with what he thinks is an imaginary girl only to have that revelation at the end. We wanted something more Fight Club esque. Hell, we wanted ANYTHING instead of that. We would watch actualfax Barrowman porn than watch that again.
Kait: "I thought the scotch would make it better!"
Kait: "Quick! We need to be taking these names in the credits down! We have a lot of hate mail to write tonight."
Kait: "I don't even know how to tweet the part where the Wolf and Chuck Kid and Chubs go skiing."
Becca: "I can't wait until you write the part where the Wolf and Chuck kid go buy shoes because you ship them BFF style."
Becca: "I feel like we should watch Shark Attack 3 to feel better about ourselves."
This movie shook the very foundations of my faith in myself. Previous to this, my worst nightmare was being stuck next to Barrowman on a flight with no book/Kindle/iPod/computer, forced to talk to him. (Well, second worst nightmare. Worst nightmare is still Barrowman fuck-or-die.) Now, given the choice between watching this movie or talking to Barrowman on a flight, I'd have to think about it.
Kait: Would there be alcohol?
Becca: Yes, but he gets it too, and the more he drinks, the handsier he gets.
Anyway, by this point I had so much Scotch that I could barely type. Becca could have put on Supernatural and I wouldn't have noticed or cared. Instead, she put on a "based on true events" made-for-teevee Misha Collins movie that she THOUGHT had his hipbones in it. She was wrong. And I was forced to admit that there was a movie worse than the one we just watched, and that was the one we were about to watch.
"I hope the girl from That 70s Show is the Barrowman in this one."
"I hope so too."
I can't do a summary for this one guys. For one, I was too drunk to pay attention to the first half. For another... it was that bad. Misha Collins plays a serial rapist. The girl from That 70's Show plays his wife/accomplice, Karla, who is telling the story to her shrink from jail. The movie details everything from them meeting to them being caught for raping and killing girls. And it's just AWFUL. There are no redeeming qualities in this movie. THERE AREN'T EVEN TITS.
So, here are just some quotes from us watching it.
Becca: "I feel like Misha Collins is the Barrowman in this one again. But he can't act."
Kait: "So he's REALLY the $45 Barrowman in this one. He's not even worth the extra $5."
Kait: "Is Misha Collins a rapist in this movie?"
Becca: "I don't know. IT'S BARROWMAN! IT'S BARROWMAN'S FAULT!"
Kait: "Okay, Barrowman's the rapist."
Becca: "Is everyone terrible?"
Kait: "Just drink more Scotch."
Becca: "I CAN'T."
Kait: "No! Scroll down! Tits! I'm glad I jsut became an accomplice in this date rape."
Becca: "Misha Collins' dick would be more exciting than this."
Kait: "That means nothing. An hour ago BARROWMAN'S dick was more interesting than what we were doing."
Kait: "So you just downloaded this random movie where Misha Collins is a saerial rapist?"
Becca: "Well, that's still relevant to my interests."
Becca: "Are you still laughing cause I'm hiccuping?"
Kait: "Yes."
Becca: "Well, fuck you! I got you tits and everything."
Becca: "He looks like he wants to join the master race."
Kait: "I was going to say Swing Kids, so same diff."
Kait: "I'm thinking of S7 of House with Chase naked in handcuffs all the time. And sometimes House touches his face."
Becca: "And sometimes Chase has wings."
Becca: "He has lady hands. And lady wrists. It's just like being with a lady."
Kait: "Except for the dick."
Becca: "Girls with dicks need love too."
Becca: "Chubs from the DeKay movie would be a better Chubs in this."
Kait: "He'd be super into it!"
Becca: "He'd be like, 'Is there paperwork involved?' And Misha Collins would be like, 'No, just raping bitches!' and he'd be like 'I'm on that!'"
Becca: "I'm gonna write some Chubs/Chuck Guy non-con, okay?"
Pretty much the highlight of the movie was me being able to pick out the guy who played Larry on The West Wing from a gaggle of detectives early on. Which just goes to show how crazy ridic I am at The West Wing.
***
Anyway, that concludes this edition of BAD MOVIE WEEKEND. Remember, kids, we watch these movies so you don't have to! And you should thank god for that.