this is not a good start to 2010, but I remain hopeful
So. 2010. Looks a lot like 2009 thus far, but we're only one day in, so I'm trying to be cautiously optimistic.
2009 was a weird year for me. It was pretty shitty, most of the time, but the parts that were good were so amazingly good that I can almost pretend the bad stuff didn't happen. (Almost.)
But, I'll get to the real reminiscence in a moment. First, let's talk about yesterday.
I was on my way to Target, taking the 80 West on-ramp on Cherry Hill Road, when I lost control of my car, spun out, jumped the curb, bounced into a ditch, and then slid out, back into the street.
I am fine. My car LOOKED fine, if a little dirty from zigzagging through the mud. I locked my keys in the car in my scramble to get outside and make sure everything was okay, so my mom had to come bring me a spare. Once I actually got in my car, I noticed that it wasn't driving right and we needed to call a tow truck. Apparently, the whole rear suspension is messed up. Like, badly. Like, my dad is suggesting I consider buying a new car instead of getting this one fixed :\
Not a super cool way to start the new year, guys.
***
So, that's kind of a downer. Sorry, guys. Ugh. Um, anyway, right. 2009.
Like I said, it was a pretty shitty year. I had three major depressive episodes, one (unrelated) hospitalization, and I was sick for six or seven weeks during the busiest time of the year. I had bouts of impenetrable writer's block, I'm stuck in my crappy job, I still live with my parents, and I have anxiety attacks whenever I think about getting a Master's Degree.
BUT! Despite all of those things, 2009 really didn't suck as much as I thought, in retrospect. I don't know. I mean, it did, but like I said, the things that were good were just... excellent.
I saw inocciduous like, every three or four months! January, February, May, September, and November! We had our Harrisburg Adventure and we met Allison Janney! We traveled to Dragon*Con together! We saw Dar Williams! We watched a fuckton of TWW! We looked at cooking supplies and gushed about our dream kitchens! I saw krabapple twice! We spent a week together in Fort Lauderdale, riding inept elevators, hanging out on the beach, and chilling in our awesome hotel room, giggling like mad. Jen and I spent Dragon*Con with her, being super awesome and making starry eyes at Jason Momoa! We texted like, every day for the first six months of the year!
2009 was the year of hanging out with harmonyangel whenever I got a chance. It was the year of a million Katy gigs with quatredeathlady. It was the year of spending more time with neurotictealeaf. It was the year of meeting leiascully for the first time. It was the year of seeing mcwonthelottery twice and suchthefangirl once, on three separate occasions, in the same restaurant. It was the year of FANGIRL DINNER PARTY! (and Fangirlhastilyassembledbrunch). I got to do things with saidlian_Nataly and moonsheen (though not nearly enough). I got promoted (officially, FINALLY) at work. 2009 was the year of "::fist shake:: BARROWMAN!!" and Salem. I saw two Ingrid Michaelson shows and about five Dar Williams shows. I discovered Matt Hires and cheered on Katy's new album (OMGOMGFEBRUARY8!!!). I went to so many cupcakeries! I saw a lot of my friends get engaged. I asked a girl on a date all by myself!
And, hey, 2009 was the year of Torchwood fandom. That is something I never would have expected in 2008 (or, really, the first six months of 2009), but was honestly and truly a long, slow, breath of relief at the end of the year. I needed something to distract me from work and I was having major issues with the SGA fandom as a whole. TW came in right when I needed it. Ugh, internet, you can kill me later for sounding so cheesy, but I was honestly shocked and delighted at how mellow and fun and awesome everyone was. It was... not what I was used to. I'm having a lot of fun, and I really need fun right now. (See above, re: car w0es) So, thanks to suchthefangirl for encouraging me from the start, neurotictealeaf for enabling, queenriley for being awesome, solsticezero for being a delight, curriejean for being enthusiastic, and everyone else who has friended me or I have friended in the past three months.
So, yeah. Not as terrible a year as yesterday would lead me to believe, as I thought it might be as I was lying in a hospital bed, drugged to the gills on Inauguration Day. Clearly, the key to a good year is spending it with people you like. So, thanks, internet. 2009 could have blown, but in the end, I'll remember the awesome things more than the shitty ones. ♥ ♥ ♥
***
Anyway, here's that Year-in-Review meme I do every year. I already did the fandom one. Also, the writing one.
What did you do in 2009 that you'd never done before?
Ridden in a tow truck, gone to the emergency room in a strange place... I can only think of the bad things! I'm sure I did good things too, though. Ooo, I used a paid vacation day for the first time! Many of them!
Did you keep your New Year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I had to check last year's version of this meme, but I don't think I made any. This year, I'm resolving to write more and see more of my friends.
Did anyone close to you give birth?
I think my boss' wife did? That might have been last year, though. In fact, I'm now pretty positive it WAS last year.
Did anyone close to you die?
No one I was super close to. The husband of an old teacher. An old internet friend who I had (unfortunately, because I really liked her) fallen mostly out of touch with.
What countries did you visit?
None, tragically. Not even Canada!
What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?
More money. I know they say you can't buy happiness, but money would go a long way towards making my life easier. I'd also like a ladyfriend (and, hey, I asked someone on a date in 2009 and we may actually GO on that date in 2010!).
What dates from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
I never remember dates, just events. Getting sick on Inauguration Day, Harrisburg, meeting Allison Janney, Florida, Dragon*Con, Field of Terror, Massachusetts, FANGIRL DINNER PARTY!
What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Officially getting my promotion!
What was your biggest failure?
I did not write as much as I wanted to, for various reasons that mostly had to do with varying illnesses (both mental and physical).
Did you suffer illness or injury?
HAHA. See above. Um, let's see. In January, on Inauguration Day, while I was on my way to the fucking Inauguration, I had stomach pains that were so bad I had to go to the ER. I had several nearly crippling periods of depression, most notably right before my vacation, right after I got home, and in mid/late September. I had the usual bouts of cold and allergies (my ridiculous skin is still ridiculous), but the kicker came in mid-October, when I got a cold. And then proceeded to stay sick and exhausted for about six or seven weeks. I know it sounds like nothing, but, my god, I didn't realize how much it had hampered my life until I got better again.
What was the best thing you bought?
Plane tickets to Florida and Georgia! The Sarah Jane Adventures!
Whose behavior merited celebration?
My awesome, awesome friends.
Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Bookstore customers. Neo-cons.
Where did most of your money go?
Travel and car repairs :(
What did you get really, really, really excited about?
The Inauguration (foiled!)! Harrisburg! Florida! Dragon*Con! Nicole's Birthday! FANGIRL DINNER PARTY!
What song will always remind you of 2009?
27 Jennifers Haha, just kidding! But it feels like it, sometimes XD Um, for real, though, "Keep Breathing" by Ingrid Michaelson or "Honey, Let Me Sing You a Song" by Matt Hires.
Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? Mostly the same.
b) thinner or fatter? Again, probably about the same. At this very SECOND probably a little fatter because IT IS LADYTIME and I am sore and bloated :(
c) richer or poorer? Richer, theoretically, but I won't be once i have to fix my car again :(
What do you wish you'd done more of?
Writing. Baking. Sleeping.
What do you wish you'd done less of?
Being depressed.
Did you fall in love in 2009?
With books, characters, food, presents, teevee shows, and the occasional inanimate object. Not with a lady, no.
What was your favorite TV program?
My favorite on-air teevee shows were Psych and White Collar.
Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Does RTD count?
What was the best book you read?
I've already answered this question twice! Three way tie between When You Reach Me by Rebecca Stead, Skulduggery Pleasant: The Faceless Ones by Derek Landy and Catching Fire by Suzanne Collins
What was your greatest musical discovery?
Matt Hires! I don't think I really "discovered" anyone else this year. Mostly, I listened to new releases by old favorites and... just, you know, old favorites.
What did you want and get?
My promotion, a chance to spend time with various friends.
What did you want and not get?
A ladyfriend, a better job.
What was your favorite film of this year?
Up or Coraline.
What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 24! The day before, I had a cupcake picnic in Central Park with my friends! It was awesome!
What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Being less depressed. Sleeping more. Having a less crappy job.
How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?
Sweaters, slacks, skirts. Fewer t-shirts and ratty jeans. More cute canvas flats.
What kept you sane?
krabapple, quatredeathlady, my other friends, writing, the little bits of sleep I DID manage to get, FANDOM, watching an obscene amount of television when I got down.
Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Felicia Day (OMGIHIGHFIVEDFELICIADAY), Kate Hewlett, Mary McCormack
What political issue stirred you the most?
Gay marriage (good job, New York! ::shakes fist::), the NJ gubanatorial election (CHRIS CHRISTIE! ::shakes fist::), DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON HEALTHCARE, GUYS.
Who did you miss?
Pretty much everyone when they are not right next to me. Mostly krabapple and inocidduous. It is just so easy to get used to them, guys! And they are not always there! It is lame!
Who was the best new person you met?
Oh gosh, who have I met this year? Well, in terms of "known for a long time but only just recently met in person," there's leiascully! Who was wonderful! For the first time, I met metonymy and coffeesuperhero, both of whom I met IN PERSON before on line! Crazy, huh? Online, I met a ton of awesome people in TW fandom in just the past few months. YOU GUYS ARE TOTES AWESOME.
Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009:
BARROWMAN!! ::shakes fist::
Quote a song that sums up your year:
Sometimes I see myself fine, sometimes I need a witness.
And I like the whole truth,
but there are nights I only need forgiveness.
Sometimes they say, "I don't know who you are,
but let me walk with you some."
And I say, "I am alone, that's all.
You can't save me from all the wrong I've done."
But they're waiting just the same,
with their flashlights and their semaphores,
and I'll act like I have faith and like that faith never ends.
But I really just have friends.
2009 was a weird year for me. It was pretty shitty, most of the time, but the parts that were good were so amazingly good that I can almost pretend the bad stuff didn't happen. (Almost.)
But, I'll get to the real reminiscence in a moment. First, let's talk about yesterday.
I was on my way to Target, taking the 80 West on-ramp on Cherry Hill Road, when I lost control of my car, spun out, jumped the curb, bounced into a ditch, and then slid out, back into the street.
I am fine. My car LOOKED fine, if a little dirty from zigzagging through the mud. I locked my keys in the car in my scramble to get outside and make sure everything was okay, so my mom had to come bring me a spare. Once I actually got in my car, I noticed that it wasn't driving right and we needed to call a tow truck. Apparently, the whole rear suspension is messed up. Like, badly. Like, my dad is suggesting I consider buying a new car instead of getting this one fixed :\
Not a super cool way to start the new year, guys.
***
So, that's kind of a downer. Sorry, guys. Ugh. Um, anyway, right. 2009.
Like I said, it was a pretty shitty year. I had three major depressive episodes, one (unrelated) hospitalization, and I was sick for six or seven weeks during the busiest time of the year. I had bouts of impenetrable writer's block, I'm stuck in my crappy job, I still live with my parents, and I have anxiety attacks whenever I think about getting a Master's Degree.
BUT! Despite all of those things, 2009 really didn't suck as much as I thought, in retrospect. I don't know. I mean, it did, but like I said, the things that were good were just... excellent.
I saw inocciduous like, every three or four months! January, February, May, September, and November! We had our Harrisburg Adventure and we met Allison Janney! We traveled to Dragon*Con together! We saw Dar Williams! We watched a fuckton of TWW! We looked at cooking supplies and gushed about our dream kitchens! I saw krabapple twice! We spent a week together in Fort Lauderdale, riding inept elevators, hanging out on the beach, and chilling in our awesome hotel room, giggling like mad. Jen and I spent Dragon*Con with her, being super awesome and making starry eyes at Jason Momoa! We texted like, every day for the first six months of the year!
2009 was the year of hanging out with harmonyangel whenever I got a chance. It was the year of a million Katy gigs with quatredeathlady. It was the year of spending more time with neurotictealeaf. It was the year of meeting leiascully for the first time. It was the year of seeing mcwonthelottery twice and suchthefangirl once, on three separate occasions, in the same restaurant. It was the year of FANGIRL DINNER PARTY! (and Fangirlhastilyassembledbrunch). I got to do things with saidlian_Nataly and moonsheen (though not nearly enough). I got promoted (officially, FINALLY) at work. 2009 was the year of "::fist shake:: BARROWMAN!!" and Salem. I saw two Ingrid Michaelson shows and about five Dar Williams shows. I discovered Matt Hires and cheered on Katy's new album (OMGOMGFEBRUARY8!!!). I went to so many cupcakeries! I saw a lot of my friends get engaged. I asked a girl on a date all by myself!
And, hey, 2009 was the year of Torchwood fandom. That is something I never would have expected in 2008 (or, really, the first six months of 2009), but was honestly and truly a long, slow, breath of relief at the end of the year. I needed something to distract me from work and I was having major issues with the SGA fandom as a whole. TW came in right when I needed it. Ugh, internet, you can kill me later for sounding so cheesy, but I was honestly shocked and delighted at how mellow and fun and awesome everyone was. It was... not what I was used to. I'm having a lot of fun, and I really need fun right now. (See above, re: car w0es) So, thanks to suchthefangirl for encouraging me from the start, neurotictealeaf for enabling, queenriley for being awesome, solsticezero for being a delight, curriejean for being enthusiastic, and everyone else who has friended me or I have friended in the past three months.
So, yeah. Not as terrible a year as yesterday would lead me to believe, as I thought it might be as I was lying in a hospital bed, drugged to the gills on Inauguration Day. Clearly, the key to a good year is spending it with people you like. So, thanks, internet. 2009 could have blown, but in the end, I'll remember the awesome things more than the shitty ones. ♥ ♥ ♥
***
Anyway, here's that Year-in-Review meme I do every year. I already did the fandom one. Also, the writing one.
What did you do in 2009 that you'd never done before?
Ridden in a tow truck, gone to the emergency room in a strange place... I can only think of the bad things! I'm sure I did good things too, though. Ooo, I used a paid vacation day for the first time! Many of them!
Did you keep your New Year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I had to check last year's version of this meme, but I don't think I made any. This year, I'm resolving to write more and see more of my friends.
Did anyone close to you give birth?
I think my boss' wife did? That might have been last year, though. In fact, I'm now pretty positive it WAS last year.
Did anyone close to you die?
No one I was super close to. The husband of an old teacher. An old internet friend who I had (unfortunately, because I really liked her) fallen mostly out of touch with.
What countries did you visit?
None, tragically. Not even Canada!
What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?
More money. I know they say you can't buy happiness, but money would go a long way towards making my life easier. I'd also like a ladyfriend (and, hey, I asked someone on a date in 2009 and we may actually GO on that date in 2010!).
What dates from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
I never remember dates, just events. Getting sick on Inauguration Day, Harrisburg, meeting Allison Janney, Florida, Dragon*Con, Field of Terror, Massachusetts, FANGIRL DINNER PARTY!
What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Officially getting my promotion!
What was your biggest failure?
I did not write as much as I wanted to, for various reasons that mostly had to do with varying illnesses (both mental and physical).
Did you suffer illness or injury?
HAHA. See above. Um, let's see. In January, on Inauguration Day, while I was on my way to the fucking Inauguration, I had stomach pains that were so bad I had to go to the ER. I had several nearly crippling periods of depression, most notably right before my vacation, right after I got home, and in mid/late September. I had the usual bouts of cold and allergies (my ridiculous skin is still ridiculous), but the kicker came in mid-October, when I got a cold. And then proceeded to stay sick and exhausted for about six or seven weeks. I know it sounds like nothing, but, my god, I didn't realize how much it had hampered my life until I got better again.
What was the best thing you bought?
Plane tickets to Florida and Georgia! The Sarah Jane Adventures!
Whose behavior merited celebration?
My awesome, awesome friends.
Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Bookstore customers. Neo-cons.
Where did most of your money go?
Travel and car repairs :(
What did you get really, really, really excited about?
The Inauguration (foiled!)! Harrisburg! Florida! Dragon*Con! Nicole's Birthday! FANGIRL DINNER PARTY!
What song will always remind you of 2009?
27 Jennifers Haha, just kidding! But it feels like it, sometimes XD Um, for real, though, "Keep Breathing" by Ingrid Michaelson or "Honey, Let Me Sing You a Song" by Matt Hires.
Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? Mostly the same.
b) thinner or fatter? Again, probably about the same. At this very SECOND probably a little fatter because IT IS LADYTIME and I am sore and bloated :(
c) richer or poorer? Richer, theoretically, but I won't be once i have to fix my car again :(
What do you wish you'd done more of?
Writing. Baking. Sleeping.
What do you wish you'd done less of?
Being depressed.
Did you fall in love in 2009?
With books, characters, food, presents, teevee shows, and the occasional inanimate object. Not with a lady, no.
What was your favorite TV program?
My favorite on-air teevee shows were Psych and White Collar.
Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Does RTD count?
What was the best book you read?
I've already answered this question twice! Three way tie between When You Reach Me by Rebecca Stead, Skulduggery Pleasant: The Faceless Ones by Derek Landy and Catching Fire by Suzanne Collins
What was your greatest musical discovery?
Matt Hires! I don't think I really "discovered" anyone else this year. Mostly, I listened to new releases by old favorites and... just, you know, old favorites.
What did you want and get?
My promotion, a chance to spend time with various friends.
What did you want and not get?
A ladyfriend, a better job.
What was your favorite film of this year?
Up or Coraline.
What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 24! The day before, I had a cupcake picnic in Central Park with my friends! It was awesome!
What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Being less depressed. Sleeping more. Having a less crappy job.
How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?
Sweaters, slacks, skirts. Fewer t-shirts and ratty jeans. More cute canvas flats.
What kept you sane?
krabapple, quatredeathlady, my other friends, writing, the little bits of sleep I DID manage to get, FANDOM, watching an obscene amount of television when I got down.
Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Felicia Day (OMGIHIGHFIVEDFELICIADAY), Kate Hewlett, Mary McCormack
What political issue stirred you the most?
Gay marriage (good job, New York! ::shakes fist::), the NJ gubanatorial election (CHRIS CHRISTIE! ::shakes fist::), DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON HEALTHCARE, GUYS.
Who did you miss?
Pretty much everyone when they are not right next to me. Mostly krabapple and inocidduous. It is just so easy to get used to them, guys! And they are not always there! It is lame!
Who was the best new person you met?
Oh gosh, who have I met this year? Well, in terms of "known for a long time but only just recently met in person," there's leiascully! Who was wonderful! For the first time, I met metonymy and coffeesuperhero, both of whom I met IN PERSON before on line! Crazy, huh? Online, I met a ton of awesome people in TW fandom in just the past few months. YOU GUYS ARE TOTES AWESOME.
Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009:
BARROWMAN!! ::shakes fist::
Quote a song that sums up your year:
Sometimes I see myself fine, sometimes I need a witness.
And I like the whole truth,
but there are nights I only need forgiveness.
Sometimes they say, "I don't know who you are,
but let me walk with you some."
And I say, "I am alone, that's all.
You can't save me from all the wrong I've done."
But they're waiting just the same,
with their flashlights and their semaphores,
and I'll act like I have faith and like that faith never ends.
But I really just have friends.