Fanfiction - Emotion (Daiki's)
Title: Emotion (Daiki's)
Author: Ritsu (crazy_otaku911)
Pairing: Arioka Daiki X Morimoto Ryutarou (One-sided)
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Daiki hates these emotions and hates himself for being unable to stop them.
Disclaimer: This work is purely fiction.
Warnings: Angst, tears, anger.
A/N: Beta'd by shimizumiki <3
This is the sixth one-shot in a self proclaimed challenge (which is to write a fic for each member. Using words off my desktop wallpaper, which is a pretty heart made out of words. 8D) Next up is Keito~ ♥
Arioka Daiki absolutely hated this emotional roller coaster ride. He hated it with a passion, wishing he could just fix his problem and be happy again. But no, he couldn't stop, the feelings wouldn't stop. They ate at him, festering at the back of his mind until he wanted to scream.
This wasn't right, he told himself, curling up into a ball during a break from practice. He hated himself for wanting this, for wanting him. He watched him interact with the rest of his unit and cursed himself for falling for something so unobtainable.
He got so utterly jealous, hating anyone who dared lay a finger on what he wanted to call his own. He couldn't call him his own, but it didn't stop him from wanting to.
How had this even started, Daiki didn't know. He just knew that one day, he realized he wanted something. Life had gone to hell from that moment on. He'd watch, wanting things so badly, damning himself because it was something he couldn't have and something he shouldn't have wanted anyways. But he wanted it.
It ate away at his sanity. He started getting grouchier, snapping far too quickly. It left people like Yuto in confusion as he stalked away, wanting to apologize, but too angry to do so.
Angry at what? The same thing as always.
“Dai-chan, Dai-chan...” The hand on his shoulder broke him from his throughts and he glance over at whoever had spoken to him.
He froze for a moment, his heart skipping several beats before he twitched, pulling away, scowling and blushing all the same. He hated the butterflies in his stomach every time this happened, every time he got close to Daiki.
Ryutarou tilted his head, confused. “Are you sure you're okay, Dai-chan?” The youngest of them asked, worried. “You don't look so good...”
Daiki glowered, though a part of him felt so pleased that Ryu cared. But damn, that was just making things worse. He hated how his emotions pulled him in so many different directions. “I'm fine.” He snapped, turning away from Ryu's confused face and quickly exiting the practice room.
He hated this. He hated Ryu for being so...so...wantable! He didn't know how else to say it. He hated ever bit of Ryu, just as much as he loved the boy to pieces. He wanted to kiss him, hold him, make Ryu his in a way nobody else would ever get to.
“GODDAMMIT!” He practically screamed in the hallway, wanting to slap himself. Heads turned to stare at him and he just glared at them all, stomping to JUMP's dressing room and slamming the door. He needed a nap, hoping it'd calm his raw nerves, enough to get through the rest of the day. It was getting harder, lately. He was losing his friends over this. He got so touchy, people were afraid to get near him.
He curled up on the couch, burying his head under a pillow and quickly falling asleep. His ever changing emotions must be what's exhausting him because he sure as hell wasn't having a growth spurt.
“Sshh...Just leave him be.” Voices overhead woke him and Daiki stirred, trying to figure out what had happened. “He's just stressed, he'll be fine.” That was Yabu talking.
“What's up his ass though?” He heard another voice muttering. “Seriously, if I didn't know better, I'd guess he caught onto Takaki's PMS.” That was Yuto.
“Hey!” Takaki, duh.
“You're just mad that Hasshi hasn't impregnated you, yet” That was Yamada, of course. He and Yuto just clicked way to well still.
“....Guys, you do know that Takaki-kun, as a guy, can't get pregnant.” Keito's dubious tone was easy to pick out.
“Are you sure Dai-chan is okay?” ….God, that was Ryutarou. “He got really upset and grumpy earlier..”
“I'm still going with the PMS thing.” Yuto said again, snorting. “Guy definitely has something frustrating him.” For some reason, Daiki couldn't even tell why and it was his own mind, but he suddenly sat up with an explosion.
“Would you all just shut the fuck up?” He yowled, throwing the pillow. It managed to bean Chinen and soon the small boy's eyes were filled with tears. That just made things worse and the room was suddenly silent, everyone staring at Daiki as he looked at them all, anger making his blood rush so much he felt slightly dizzy.
“I. Am. FINE!” He growled, standing up, which wasn't that impressive but everyone seemed to shrink away, unsure of how to deal with this Daiki. “So shut up, fuck off, and stop talking about me.” He didn't know why he was so angry, but he was. He knew he shouldn't be lashing out at the rest of them, he was pissed at himself. But he didn't care right now, so he wasn't going to stop.
He opened his mouth to go on and found a hand over his mouth. Surprised, he jerked away, spinning around to find himself in Takaki Yuya's tight grip. The normally cheerful boy was stony as he looked down into Daiki's raging face. He held Daiki's gaze for a moment, unflinching, before turning to the rest of them. “Guys, could you please leave for a little while?” The chic boy's voice had everyone scurrying to attention. It was so...cold. Daiki had never heard that tone before. He wanted to fight, to pull away, but he was too caught up, to fascinated by this change. “Oh..And someone get Chii some pocky.”
Everyone quickly exited the room and Daiki snapped out enough try and pull away.
“Don't you even.” Takaki snapped at him, yanking him onto the couch. There was an eerie darkness to Takaki's eyes and Daiki shut up instantly seeing it. “I know right now is stressful.” Takaki said, tone crisp and a little icy. “I know you probably have a ton of personal shit going on. But don't you dare, don't you dare take it out on everyone else. You're so wrapped up in whatever in here.” Takaki jabbed Daiki's temple, hard, but Daiki let him, too surprised to react. “You don't even look around you before dumping shit on everyone else.” Takaki pierced Daiki's heart with those eyes, “Just so you know, Chii's having a hard time because his sister is in the hospital with pneumonia.”
“Now.” Takaki's...Daiki didn't know what to call it, but the atmosphere around him melted slightly. Disapproval was still there, but not the cold anger he'd felt. “Talk to me. What's wrong, Daiki? You never used to be like this...What happened?”
Somehow, maybe because every word Takaki had said had broken down the wall of Daiki's defense, he just slumped, starting to talk, slowly at first, because he was scared of voicing himself. “....I...I don't know what to do, Yuya...” He stammered out. “It's so hard...to hold it all in. It's so wrong, I know it is...But I can't help it.”
He turned to Takaki, who was listening, expressionless. He felt so haunted, letting this out. Disgusting and low. “I...It's Ryu, Yuya.” He covered his face with his hands. “It's fucking Ryutarou...” He clenched his fingers in his hair, as if ripping his hair out would also rip out all these thoughts. “God, what is wrong with me...” Tears fell down his cheeks. “He's only 14....he's just a kid...I remember back when I was that young...God, what's wrong with me.”
“Daiki...” Takaku murmured, but Daiki pushed on.
“I want him, Yuya...I want him in ways that I shouldn't...” Daiki choked, not able to stop, now that he had started. “And I'll never have him, because I could never...never do that. But dammit, Yuya, I want to. I want to, so badly...I want him to be mine, I want him to be....just....” The tears were soaking his hands, running down his arms and cheeks. “This is so..fucked...and I can't make it stop...I can't stop wanting”
“Daiki...” Takaki spoke and Daiki looked up to meet his gaze. There was no disdain, no pity...just...warmth. His friend enveloped him in a hug and Daiki broke down, sobbing in broken agony, unable to hold any of his emotions in. All the love, hate, anger, and anguish poured out, Takaki just held him until he exhausted himself into oblivion.
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A/N: Big thanks to Koukou (hotfruits) for the plot idea. I'm so mean to Daiki...I don't even know why, but I really am. ._. I'm sorry... And I'm sorry this isn't nearly as angsty as it's supposed to be.
Author: Ritsu (crazy_otaku911)
Pairing: Arioka Daiki X Morimoto Ryutarou (One-sided)
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Daiki hates these emotions and hates himself for being unable to stop them.
Disclaimer: This work is purely fiction.
Warnings: Angst, tears, anger.
A/N: Beta'd by shimizumiki <3
This is the sixth one-shot in a self proclaimed challenge (which is to write a fic for each member. Using words off my desktop wallpaper, which is a pretty heart made out of words. 8D) Next up is Keito~ ♥
Arioka Daiki absolutely hated this emotional roller coaster ride. He hated it with a passion, wishing he could just fix his problem and be happy again. But no, he couldn't stop, the feelings wouldn't stop. They ate at him, festering at the back of his mind until he wanted to scream.
This wasn't right, he told himself, curling up into a ball during a break from practice. He hated himself for wanting this, for wanting him. He watched him interact with the rest of his unit and cursed himself for falling for something so unobtainable.
He got so utterly jealous, hating anyone who dared lay a finger on what he wanted to call his own. He couldn't call him his own, but it didn't stop him from wanting to.
How had this even started, Daiki didn't know. He just knew that one day, he realized he wanted something. Life had gone to hell from that moment on. He'd watch, wanting things so badly, damning himself because it was something he couldn't have and something he shouldn't have wanted anyways. But he wanted it.
It ate away at his sanity. He started getting grouchier, snapping far too quickly. It left people like Yuto in confusion as he stalked away, wanting to apologize, but too angry to do so.
Angry at what? The same thing as always.
“Dai-chan, Dai-chan...” The hand on his shoulder broke him from his throughts and he glance over at whoever had spoken to him.
He froze for a moment, his heart skipping several beats before he twitched, pulling away, scowling and blushing all the same. He hated the butterflies in his stomach every time this happened, every time he got close to Daiki.
Ryutarou tilted his head, confused. “Are you sure you're okay, Dai-chan?” The youngest of them asked, worried. “You don't look so good...”
Daiki glowered, though a part of him felt so pleased that Ryu cared. But damn, that was just making things worse. He hated how his emotions pulled him in so many different directions. “I'm fine.” He snapped, turning away from Ryu's confused face and quickly exiting the practice room.
He hated this. He hated Ryu for being so...so...wantable! He didn't know how else to say it. He hated ever bit of Ryu, just as much as he loved the boy to pieces. He wanted to kiss him, hold him, make Ryu his in a way nobody else would ever get to.
“GODDAMMIT!” He practically screamed in the hallway, wanting to slap himself. Heads turned to stare at him and he just glared at them all, stomping to JUMP's dressing room and slamming the door. He needed a nap, hoping it'd calm his raw nerves, enough to get through the rest of the day. It was getting harder, lately. He was losing his friends over this. He got so touchy, people were afraid to get near him.
He curled up on the couch, burying his head under a pillow and quickly falling asleep. His ever changing emotions must be what's exhausting him because he sure as hell wasn't having a growth spurt.
“Sshh...Just leave him be.” Voices overhead woke him and Daiki stirred, trying to figure out what had happened. “He's just stressed, he'll be fine.” That was Yabu talking.
“What's up his ass though?” He heard another voice muttering. “Seriously, if I didn't know better, I'd guess he caught onto Takaki's PMS.” That was Yuto.
“Hey!” Takaki, duh.
“You're just mad that Hasshi hasn't impregnated you, yet” That was Yamada, of course. He and Yuto just clicked way to well still.
“....Guys, you do know that Takaki-kun, as a guy, can't get pregnant.” Keito's dubious tone was easy to pick out.
“Are you sure Dai-chan is okay?” ….God, that was Ryutarou. “He got really upset and grumpy earlier..”
“I'm still going with the PMS thing.” Yuto said again, snorting. “Guy definitely has something frustrating him.” For some reason, Daiki couldn't even tell why and it was his own mind, but he suddenly sat up with an explosion.
“Would you all just shut the fuck up?” He yowled, throwing the pillow. It managed to bean Chinen and soon the small boy's eyes were filled with tears. That just made things worse and the room was suddenly silent, everyone staring at Daiki as he looked at them all, anger making his blood rush so much he felt slightly dizzy.
“I. Am. FINE!” He growled, standing up, which wasn't that impressive but everyone seemed to shrink away, unsure of how to deal with this Daiki. “So shut up, fuck off, and stop talking about me.” He didn't know why he was so angry, but he was. He knew he shouldn't be lashing out at the rest of them, he was pissed at himself. But he didn't care right now, so he wasn't going to stop.
He opened his mouth to go on and found a hand over his mouth. Surprised, he jerked away, spinning around to find himself in Takaki Yuya's tight grip. The normally cheerful boy was stony as he looked down into Daiki's raging face. He held Daiki's gaze for a moment, unflinching, before turning to the rest of them. “Guys, could you please leave for a little while?” The chic boy's voice had everyone scurrying to attention. It was so...cold. Daiki had never heard that tone before. He wanted to fight, to pull away, but he was too caught up, to fascinated by this change. “Oh..And someone get Chii some pocky.”
Everyone quickly exited the room and Daiki snapped out enough try and pull away.
“Don't you even.” Takaki snapped at him, yanking him onto the couch. There was an eerie darkness to Takaki's eyes and Daiki shut up instantly seeing it. “I know right now is stressful.” Takaki said, tone crisp and a little icy. “I know you probably have a ton of personal shit going on. But don't you dare, don't you dare take it out on everyone else. You're so wrapped up in whatever in here.” Takaki jabbed Daiki's temple, hard, but Daiki let him, too surprised to react. “You don't even look around you before dumping shit on everyone else.” Takaki pierced Daiki's heart with those eyes, “Just so you know, Chii's having a hard time because his sister is in the hospital with pneumonia.”
“Now.” Takaki's...Daiki didn't know what to call it, but the atmosphere around him melted slightly. Disapproval was still there, but not the cold anger he'd felt. “Talk to me. What's wrong, Daiki? You never used to be like this...What happened?”
Somehow, maybe because every word Takaki had said had broken down the wall of Daiki's defense, he just slumped, starting to talk, slowly at first, because he was scared of voicing himself. “....I...I don't know what to do, Yuya...” He stammered out. “It's so hard...to hold it all in. It's so wrong, I know it is...But I can't help it.”
He turned to Takaki, who was listening, expressionless. He felt so haunted, letting this out. Disgusting and low. “I...It's Ryu, Yuya.” He covered his face with his hands. “It's fucking Ryutarou...” He clenched his fingers in his hair, as if ripping his hair out would also rip out all these thoughts. “God, what is wrong with me...” Tears fell down his cheeks. “He's only 14....he's just a kid...I remember back when I was that young...God, what's wrong with me.”
“Daiki...” Takaku murmured, but Daiki pushed on.
“I want him, Yuya...I want him in ways that I shouldn't...” Daiki choked, not able to stop, now that he had started. “And I'll never have him, because I could never...never do that. But dammit, Yuya, I want to. I want to, so badly...I want him to be mine, I want him to be....just....” The tears were soaking his hands, running down his arms and cheeks. “This is so..fucked...and I can't make it stop...I can't stop wanting”
“Daiki...” Takaki spoke and Daiki looked up to meet his gaze. There was no disdain, no pity...just...warmth. His friend enveloped him in a hug and Daiki broke down, sobbing in broken agony, unable to hold any of his emotions in. All the love, hate, anger, and anguish poured out, Takaki just held him until he exhausted himself into oblivion.
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A/N: Big thanks to Koukou (hotfruits) for the plot idea. I'm so mean to Daiki...I don't even know why, but I really am. ._. I'm sorry... And I'm sorry this isn't nearly as angsty as it's supposed to be.