where do we go now?
well today was just about as ironic as anything else. it was so weird i think there is a lot of stuff in the mix that im missing out about. i dont know what to do about it either. im not sure hoe i feel about a bunch of stuff. some ahs to do with current lvoe interests and other has to do with some foul ideas about things being not so steady.like my little crew is falling apart . it sucks to hear myself say that too. there some very great people i felt very good and safe around. and i can tell things are going to change now. i thought i really wanted this to happen. but i cant even make up my mind about what im writting right now . let alone the fact that im sure which direction i want change to happen.its kind of weird. im not in love with anyone but im not sure my current relationship is the right one either.ive been going out a lot and its been fun. but i finally got tired of it. i mean im goign to still go out but ive been cutting back and it feels great. there has been a lot of bad vibes out there. a lot of truth just surfaced itself too. and i think its ironic that it did. i always knew this would happen and i feel great about giving myself the open chance to take something no noe else wanted to do.so in that department i feel great. like i at least gave someone a chance no one else would. in the love department i feel like maybe doing the same thing is wrong. but it feels nice to be with her like she makes good company.but again i dont know what the definition of good company has been lately. it hoguht i had great company. and even being in the same room with this other person has that vibe. like we both pay so much attention to each other. its kind of weird the way that things like these work. i dotn want to but i understand the way things are. i guess in a way its better for the feeling not to die forever but just for a while. i thin i need to give a go at being alone too. its been a long year and i cant seem to find anything to satisfy.with my friends i guess im truly grateful for some of the people that i have found along the way. and i need to make my next move in a fast way.