i will do my best.
well as things have come down to things as they always do. i think im going to end up being alone for a while now.things with me and my current interest arent working out so well. its just sucks that there is no fighting no hating nothing like that. we just both realize that we might end up getting hurt.so i find one more girl who is ready to leave me. because she might be moving.then again the timing might be just right. i dont get how it works out for me. i do things as i want but lately im not as happy as i always was. i think the key is something in this city seems to drain a part of me i like. its almost like there is nothing here to do but to sit and kind of worry about nonsense. if not go out and drink like its the last day to such dirty things. and i love that kind of life. but in the end it makes you lonely much more thatn i could ever expect. so here is to nothing at all. i cant even seem to write anything good here. i feel like i cant stop shaking and having this feeling of nostalgia through me. its all over nonsense either. ive never been afraid to be alone and now i kind of am. im tired of fucking my way through life. its getting so old and i dont know what to do about it.i mean i was happy last week. no matter how i felt. i was actually ok. i would laugh. and lately laughter seems to be a thing of the past. i had fun yesterday but im tired of sleeping on my best friends floor. its the only place where i fell good. this house this town and these girls are a headache. the nice one i think im fucking up with and i did not expect it to hurt. i want to have my cake and eat it too but its not supposed to be that way. i dotn think i want the x back. but for some odd reason she's back in my life. which sucks. i dotn understand how people do stupid shit. but we all do it. im sure ill see everything one day as something that must havce been necessary. but ill figure it out in due time im sure.