Interview by Eric Lidji
Editor’s Note: This was the most difficult interview, because I
really don’t know Marie very well. In fact, and this is really
embarrassing, I don’t even know Marie’s last name. I think it starts
with a “C.” Or a “P.” Therefore, I decided Marie would be the control
group to dig into themes running through answers the rest of you
gave. I hope it might spur a larger discussion among all of you who
chose to participate in the interview process.
1) How would you describe your departure from Pittsburgh and how do
you see and feel about the city now? Deep inside, do you sense you
might return one day and if so, in this vision, do you see your
friends living there as well? Or is that time in your life completely
over?
I am deeply in love with the city of Pittsburgh--her skyline, her hills, her neighborhoods, her people, her restaurants--and I always will be. When I left, it was a time in my life when I knew deep down that I needed a change of scenery. I had begun to feel stagnant there. Many of my closest friends had moved to Philadelphia, and I thought about moving there, too. But I think I needed to move somewhere entirely different. Somewhere that wasn't Pennsylvania. Back in college, I think I chose to move to Pittsburgh from Harrisburg because Chrissy and Aaron lived there--it seemed safe. It kind of felt like I was choosing to move to Philadelphia for the same reason. I had only been dating Scott a few months when he brought up the idea of me moving to Louisville, his hometown. The idea of Louisville really appealed to me. I had only visited once for a weekend with Scott, but it just seemed very fun and very laid back. The move was scary because I was moving with a guy I really didn't know very well, but I had a good feeling about Scott. And in many ways, the move was risk-free--I could transfer jobs, I hadn't signed a lease in Pittsburgh and wouldn't have to in Louisville right away. Basically, I thought, "If I don't like it, I'll just come back." And I do like it here. We've bought a house and Louisville feels like home right now. I have met some really amazing people. That being said, I would certainly not rule out a return to Pittsburgh one day. I don't know if I could go back to the brutal winters, but other than that, it remains a viable option. In many ways, Pittsburgh feels like home to me, more so even than Harrisburg. When I go back to visit, it feels like I'm coming home. I get so warm inside every time I first drive through the tunnels and see that beautiful skyline. I guess I do sometimes fantasize that Scott and I would relocate there, my parents would move there, and many of my close friends would move back. I don't plan on this, necessarily, but it certainly remains something I am open to for the future. Pittsburgh and the times I've had there will always have a huge place in my heart. And damn do I miss Mad Mex, Spice Island, Trams, and...I could go on and on.
2) Some people live without abandon and occasionally pay dearly for
it. Other people live adventurously, respecting natural boundaries
and in so doing not going “over the edge.” Still other people don’t
live adventurously at all, but find themselves fulfilled. Where do
you see yourself on this spectrum and which of these kind of people
do you most admire? Taking it further, is it more admirable to live
completely, regardless of the consequences to both yourself and your
loved ones, or to live almost completely, sacrificing that last bit
in the name of self-preservation?
I see myself somewhere on the middle of this spectrum. I am absolutely of the mind that you should live in the moment and live life to its fullest. There are times when I should probably be more responsible and slow down a bit, but I don't think I'm at the point where I pay dearly for it. Everyone needs to go "over the edge" every now and then, but if you don't have boundaries in place for yourself most of the time, it can get dangerous. You can actually lose yourself, and I think living life to the fullest means finding who you really are and being true to that self. I admire anyone who truly feels fulfilled in life, and I don't think it is necessary to disregard consequences to feel this way. Right now, I am happier and feel more fulfilled than ever before in my life, and I think I am maintaining a healthy balance. Sure, there are times I'd like to be more productive--read more, write more, organize my life more, put more time into my yoga practice, etc--but overall I do just fine. I would like to eat out less, start saving money, and drink less. I definitely could use a bit more will power sometimes. But I know how to let myself have fun, and I don't need to go over the edge to do this. I think it's important to get to a point where you don't see self-preservation as a sacrifice, but as an integral part of a fulfilling life. Balance and moderation are keys.
3) Does the narrative course your life appears, in retrospect, to have
taken or not taken make you think differently about the kind of goals
you set and expectations you have for the future?
I suppose, when looking at the broad picture, that anyone's life could be described as a narrative course. I don't typically think of mine that way, but it is probably healthy to do so sometimes. I guess that in a general sense, things have gone as I expected, but when I look at the specific details, so much is different. I've learned that while it is important to have goals, one must never get too attached to them or to specific expectations. I have also learned that due to a single event or decision, you entire life can change paths. Sometimes I think about how if I hadn't lost my job at the camera store in Pittsburgh, I never would have gotten a job at Whole Foods, I wouldn't have gotten to know Scott, fallen in love, moved to Louisville, etc. And would I have made yoga such a big part of my life and become a teacher had I stayed in Pittsburgh? It's hard to say how different my life would be were it not for that one event. As cheesy and cliched as it can sound, I do believe, to a certain degree, that everything happens for a reason and that where ever you are in your life right now is where you are supposed to be. That doesn't mean you don't have control over your life, though. I'm not that kind of fatalist. I think it is important to be introspective and evaluate your life's path regularly. I set goals and I have expectations, but I also know that anything can change at any moment and that is okay.
4) Ultimately, do you need your profession to enact good on a broad
scale? Would you be satisfied doing work you found uninspiring if
your life outside work was very inspiring?
I do need my profession to enact good on a broader scale, but I believe that you can see many seemingly menial jobs as enacting good if you look at them the right way. For instance, when I worked at the camera store, though my everyday work could feel meaningless at times, I felt I was doing good by helping people create memories, helping them be creative, etc. Right now, working for Whole Foods, I feel I am contributing to helping to change the way our society thinks about food and helping people develop healthy, natural eating habits. I am very passionate about that. I know that eating natural and organic food can cost a lot more, and I feel so grateful when our customers are willing to spend a little more to contribute to the greater good. Though I am a vegetarian for ethical reasons as well as for personal taste, I am so thankful when customers spend the extra money to buy the hormone-free, free-range, cruelty-free (as cruelty-free as you can get when killing something) meats that Whole Foods sells. When parents are willing and able to spend money on a cart of groceries at Whole Foods when they could get 3 carts of processed crap for the same price somewhere else, I am happy that they are considering what goes into their children's mouths. My other job, teaching yoga, I think contributes to the greater good by helping people feel good both physically and mentally and by raising the vibration of those I teach, and therefore that of the community.
All of that being said, I think having a fulfilling, inspiring life outside of work is crucial. Some jobs that might not seem important may be the day job that supports and enables an amazing artist. It's all in the way you look at it. I respect a good work ethic, no matter what you are doing. Except for the jobs that obviously are destructive, I think that any job can be seen as contributing to the greater good.
5) Do you feel like you’re getting old?
I do feel like I am getting old--older at least, but I don't think this is a bad thing. I am happier with myself and healthier than I ever have been, and I think I am enjoying life more and more as I age. There is such a stigma on aging in our society, and I think it's bullshit. We are simply learning more, doing more, and basically constantly becoming smarter, more experienced versions of ourselves. Case in point, most teenagers are idiots, right? No, seriously, I hope this doesn't change, but right now I am embracing the idea of getting older.
And for the record, Lidji, my last name is COMA.
really don’t know Marie very well. In fact, and this is really
embarrassing, I don’t even know Marie’s last name. I think it starts
with a “C.” Or a “P.” Therefore, I decided Marie would be the control
group to dig into themes running through answers the rest of you
gave. I hope it might spur a larger discussion among all of you who
chose to participate in the interview process.
1) How would you describe your departure from Pittsburgh and how do
you see and feel about the city now? Deep inside, do you sense you
might return one day and if so, in this vision, do you see your
friends living there as well? Or is that time in your life completely
over?
I am deeply in love with the city of Pittsburgh--her skyline, her hills, her neighborhoods, her people, her restaurants--and I always will be. When I left, it was a time in my life when I knew deep down that I needed a change of scenery. I had begun to feel stagnant there. Many of my closest friends had moved to Philadelphia, and I thought about moving there, too. But I think I needed to move somewhere entirely different. Somewhere that wasn't Pennsylvania. Back in college, I think I chose to move to Pittsburgh from Harrisburg because Chrissy and Aaron lived there--it seemed safe. It kind of felt like I was choosing to move to Philadelphia for the same reason. I had only been dating Scott a few months when he brought up the idea of me moving to Louisville, his hometown. The idea of Louisville really appealed to me. I had only visited once for a weekend with Scott, but it just seemed very fun and very laid back. The move was scary because I was moving with a guy I really didn't know very well, but I had a good feeling about Scott. And in many ways, the move was risk-free--I could transfer jobs, I hadn't signed a lease in Pittsburgh and wouldn't have to in Louisville right away. Basically, I thought, "If I don't like it, I'll just come back." And I do like it here. We've bought a house and Louisville feels like home right now. I have met some really amazing people. That being said, I would certainly not rule out a return to Pittsburgh one day. I don't know if I could go back to the brutal winters, but other than that, it remains a viable option. In many ways, Pittsburgh feels like home to me, more so even than Harrisburg. When I go back to visit, it feels like I'm coming home. I get so warm inside every time I first drive through the tunnels and see that beautiful skyline. I guess I do sometimes fantasize that Scott and I would relocate there, my parents would move there, and many of my close friends would move back. I don't plan on this, necessarily, but it certainly remains something I am open to for the future. Pittsburgh and the times I've had there will always have a huge place in my heart. And damn do I miss Mad Mex, Spice Island, Trams, and...I could go on and on.
2) Some people live without abandon and occasionally pay dearly for
it. Other people live adventurously, respecting natural boundaries
and in so doing not going “over the edge.” Still other people don’t
live adventurously at all, but find themselves fulfilled. Where do
you see yourself on this spectrum and which of these kind of people
do you most admire? Taking it further, is it more admirable to live
completely, regardless of the consequences to both yourself and your
loved ones, or to live almost completely, sacrificing that last bit
in the name of self-preservation?
I see myself somewhere on the middle of this spectrum. I am absolutely of the mind that you should live in the moment and live life to its fullest. There are times when I should probably be more responsible and slow down a bit, but I don't think I'm at the point where I pay dearly for it. Everyone needs to go "over the edge" every now and then, but if you don't have boundaries in place for yourself most of the time, it can get dangerous. You can actually lose yourself, and I think living life to the fullest means finding who you really are and being true to that self. I admire anyone who truly feels fulfilled in life, and I don't think it is necessary to disregard consequences to feel this way. Right now, I am happier and feel more fulfilled than ever before in my life, and I think I am maintaining a healthy balance. Sure, there are times I'd like to be more productive--read more, write more, organize my life more, put more time into my yoga practice, etc--but overall I do just fine. I would like to eat out less, start saving money, and drink less. I definitely could use a bit more will power sometimes. But I know how to let myself have fun, and I don't need to go over the edge to do this. I think it's important to get to a point where you don't see self-preservation as a sacrifice, but as an integral part of a fulfilling life. Balance and moderation are keys.
3) Does the narrative course your life appears, in retrospect, to have
taken or not taken make you think differently about the kind of goals
you set and expectations you have for the future?
I suppose, when looking at the broad picture, that anyone's life could be described as a narrative course. I don't typically think of mine that way, but it is probably healthy to do so sometimes. I guess that in a general sense, things have gone as I expected, but when I look at the specific details, so much is different. I've learned that while it is important to have goals, one must never get too attached to them or to specific expectations. I have also learned that due to a single event or decision, you entire life can change paths. Sometimes I think about how if I hadn't lost my job at the camera store in Pittsburgh, I never would have gotten a job at Whole Foods, I wouldn't have gotten to know Scott, fallen in love, moved to Louisville, etc. And would I have made yoga such a big part of my life and become a teacher had I stayed in Pittsburgh? It's hard to say how different my life would be were it not for that one event. As cheesy and cliched as it can sound, I do believe, to a certain degree, that everything happens for a reason and that where ever you are in your life right now is where you are supposed to be. That doesn't mean you don't have control over your life, though. I'm not that kind of fatalist. I think it is important to be introspective and evaluate your life's path regularly. I set goals and I have expectations, but I also know that anything can change at any moment and that is okay.
4) Ultimately, do you need your profession to enact good on a broad
scale? Would you be satisfied doing work you found uninspiring if
your life outside work was very inspiring?
I do need my profession to enact good on a broader scale, but I believe that you can see many seemingly menial jobs as enacting good if you look at them the right way. For instance, when I worked at the camera store, though my everyday work could feel meaningless at times, I felt I was doing good by helping people create memories, helping them be creative, etc. Right now, working for Whole Foods, I feel I am contributing to helping to change the way our society thinks about food and helping people develop healthy, natural eating habits. I am very passionate about that. I know that eating natural and organic food can cost a lot more, and I feel so grateful when our customers are willing to spend a little more to contribute to the greater good. Though I am a vegetarian for ethical reasons as well as for personal taste, I am so thankful when customers spend the extra money to buy the hormone-free, free-range, cruelty-free (as cruelty-free as you can get when killing something) meats that Whole Foods sells. When parents are willing and able to spend money on a cart of groceries at Whole Foods when they could get 3 carts of processed crap for the same price somewhere else, I am happy that they are considering what goes into their children's mouths. My other job, teaching yoga, I think contributes to the greater good by helping people feel good both physically and mentally and by raising the vibration of those I teach, and therefore that of the community.
All of that being said, I think having a fulfilling, inspiring life outside of work is crucial. Some jobs that might not seem important may be the day job that supports and enables an amazing artist. It's all in the way you look at it. I respect a good work ethic, no matter what you are doing. Except for the jobs that obviously are destructive, I think that any job can be seen as contributing to the greater good.
5) Do you feel like you’re getting old?
I do feel like I am getting old--older at least, but I don't think this is a bad thing. I am happier with myself and healthier than I ever have been, and I think I am enjoying life more and more as I age. There is such a stigma on aging in our society, and I think it's bullshit. We are simply learning more, doing more, and basically constantly becoming smarter, more experienced versions of ourselves. Case in point, most teenagers are idiots, right? No, seriously, I hope this doesn't change, but right now I am embracing the idea of getting older.
And for the record, Lidji, my last name is COMA.