(no subject)
I'm going to Thailand in 3 weeks now, working with Burmese refugees which is make or break for me really, then I get home, fly to menorca, say goodbye to my bed and make a new one in Sheffield.
Reading a long line of (brilliant) screaming society attack books is making it rather hard for me to do anything at the moment! Yesterday I went to brick lane, every comment I made about the stores I felt like a fraud. I felt like a tourist visiting this strange tribe of crazies. I ended up buying a disgusting 60s long arm & foot length nighty just because I wanted to keep this piece of history where people thought bright pink was sexy and childlike, its amazing really. I'm finding it hard to take fashion and people seriously, I'm finding it hard to take money seriously but I won't spend any because I feel like its so weighted with value simultaneously. In Beyond Retro I sat waiting for El outside the changing room and thought how much I should and shouldn't buy this nighty, I have enough clothes,, I just wanted it because it held some sort of strange societal value that I thought was worth holding on to just because its so interesting, its something people will forget. Really why anything costs anything, why we need things drives me mad because I'm always on both sides, I didnt need this nighty, I know that values change, so why did I need to pay to keep that value? I didnt! But I did! Sometimes I wish I didn't feel like this, but most of the time I'm so glad I do, we can't live stagnantly like this with so many people who have nothing.
So basically this is something like my brain that the moment. I think if I didn't have James to talk to I'd be incredibly lonely in my thoughts because we really really talk and understand each other. A few of my friends are going through breakups at the moment, it makes you reflect, because I can't imagine my life without him, maybe that is a bad thing, but it certainly doesn't feel like it.
xo
Reading a long line of (brilliant) screaming society attack books is making it rather hard for me to do anything at the moment! Yesterday I went to brick lane, every comment I made about the stores I felt like a fraud. I felt like a tourist visiting this strange tribe of crazies. I ended up buying a disgusting 60s long arm & foot length nighty just because I wanted to keep this piece of history where people thought bright pink was sexy and childlike, its amazing really. I'm finding it hard to take fashion and people seriously, I'm finding it hard to take money seriously but I won't spend any because I feel like its so weighted with value simultaneously. In Beyond Retro I sat waiting for El outside the changing room and thought how much I should and shouldn't buy this nighty, I have enough clothes,, I just wanted it because it held some sort of strange societal value that I thought was worth holding on to just because its so interesting, its something people will forget. Really why anything costs anything, why we need things drives me mad because I'm always on both sides, I didnt need this nighty, I know that values change, so why did I need to pay to keep that value? I didnt! But I did! Sometimes I wish I didn't feel like this, but most of the time I'm so glad I do, we can't live stagnantly like this with so many people who have nothing.
So basically this is something like my brain that the moment. I think if I didn't have James to talk to I'd be incredibly lonely in my thoughts because we really really talk and understand each other. A few of my friends are going through breakups at the moment, it makes you reflect, because I can't imagine my life without him, maybe that is a bad thing, but it certainly doesn't feel like it.
xo