Something's getting in the way...
Well finally, I mustered up the courage and talked to her about how I felt. It was awkward to say the least, something I didn't quite expect since supposedly she likes me. Basically I laid my emotions before her, explained how I felt, and she just looked at me with a smile on her face...not saying a word. After what seemed like an eternity of silence, I finally asked her how she felt about our situation...and all she had to say was, "I don't know." I mean I knew going into this that this was a tricky situation, but I mean come on, I thought she'd at least have something to say. She finally talked about the two obvious situations that would make everything a little more complicated that I was previously aware of. It's not like I was like, oh shit I hadn't thought about those. These were two things I had been pondering about for weeks, along with discussing with various friends about...it wasn't like "Hey! I like her, let's not think about all these, and just ask her out!" Basically after all those weeks of thinking and discussing with my friends, I had concluded in my mind that they would be worth working through just for the chance to be with her.
Maybe I was wrong?
In the end she said that she'd have to think about it, but being 19 years into life...I'm not so naive that I would think that means she's going to think about it, and come to a decision that involves us getting together. Even though my one friend, (the one who originally found out that she liked me) seems to think that this is fine, and that at least she's thinking about it. I honestly don't know if I feel like waiting around for her to decide. The worst part is last night I couldn't fall asleep at all, and it wasn't like I was just laying there thinking of this all night...I just couldn't. So obviously today I felt and probably looked like hell, and that's the last thing I wanted for her to see after what happened last night.
All in all, I'm glad I did this so I can at least say I found out, and I won't be sitting here one day wondering what could've been. Because I'm pretty sure I'm done wondering, and it's time to move on.
"The boundaries which divide life from death
are at best shadowy and vague.
Who shall say where one ends,
and the other begins?"
-Edgar Alan Poe-
Maybe I was wrong?
In the end she said that she'd have to think about it, but being 19 years into life...I'm not so naive that I would think that means she's going to think about it, and come to a decision that involves us getting together. Even though my one friend, (the one who originally found out that she liked me) seems to think that this is fine, and that at least she's thinking about it. I honestly don't know if I feel like waiting around for her to decide. The worst part is last night I couldn't fall asleep at all, and it wasn't like I was just laying there thinking of this all night...I just couldn't. So obviously today I felt and probably looked like hell, and that's the last thing I wanted for her to see after what happened last night.
All in all, I'm glad I did this so I can at least say I found out, and I won't be sitting here one day wondering what could've been. Because I'm pretty sure I'm done wondering, and it's time to move on.
"The boundaries which divide life from death
are at best shadowy and vague.
Who shall say where one ends,
and the other begins?"
-Edgar Alan Poe-