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it's friday night. i am drinking my mother's wine coolers and reading aimee & jaguar. earlier today i decorated my cubicle with photos [jenny & holly, azim haidaryan, "beatnik day", postcards, molliemikeandmary] and after work, i bought some sunny orange marigolds for 1.25 to keep in a painted pot. i seem to swim numbly in the dull gray colours, ( Read more... )

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for a few fleeting minutes, i was before a bonfire once more, flushed cheeks turning against the fire as it threw angry embers into the icy night. even through the thick, heady smoke, the stars shone with a fervent energy. the sky was calm, without the usual froth that rests below the glittering blackness. i will always see my father inside every ( Read more... )

after spending the emptiest hours shuffling through the house with tissues stuffed into my hand like crumpled morning glories, i curled up against the far end of the couch, flicking through channels on the television that my brother had left playing. morning television is about strange public broadcasting and being muscular and religion. on thirty- ( Read more... )

this morning_past--- at four-thirty, lingering in a half dream state when the trees are still made of blackbirds before turning the bedside light on. reading necklace of kisses in two hours, while the fringes of the sky begin to lighten to a fair grey. the novel felt like an early morning in bed with a love from many years past; it rekindled fires ( Read more... )

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when i was watering the vegetable garden yesterday, i found a dead mole hiding in the dense leaves of the courgette(zucchini) plant, its tiny duck-like feet jutting into the air as if it died begging for its life. there was something so strangely human about its death pose, and i felt cold standing in the violent sun. i had been spraying the garden ( Read more... )