Inbetween
I remind myself my heart has never failed me as I step off the ledge and fall into the unknown.
I won't explain myself, I have my own reasons, and you probably wouldn't understand anyways. --This is not a logical argument
I know my words come out silly but I try to express myself the best way I can.
My biggest problem is that I don't know what I want.
If I'm honest, I am afraid of what people would say if I make my decision but I take a deep breathe and I steady myself, saying that I am going to be 20 years old, I am not a little girl anymore and my life is mine to decide. No one understands what I need and what I want better than I do (except for God). I do want to take advice from those that care but sometimes those that care only make it worse when they are just trying to help.
And I'm starting to honestly learn that Love really is a conquer that doesn't like defeat. It's this all encompassing and powerful emotion -- entity-- that breaks you down only to build you up into something better than you ever thought you could be before. It's so strong it blows me off my feet and knocks the wind out me. It reduces me to tears.
It's a Healer and a Savior.
And you don't truly appreciate and know what you have until you almost loose it. And some experiences, while horrible and painful, awaken the mind and the spirit to a higher calling. Some of them make men where monsters stood before.