And your my good feeling, and your my reason for breathing
I have to have one, I hate not having it, even if no one knows it exists-It's better that way.
Never in my life have I felt so balanced. I never thought one person could change someone so much. The majority of my fucked up past I think was due to the fact it wasn't what I had planned. When I was younger, I had this big, great plan for myself and for the longest time it went perfectly. Sophmore year,when I quit all sports and activities and discovered booze, is when it really went downhill. Instead of picking myself back up and doing something about it I figured I already fucked up and couldn't forgive myself for my past mistakes so why stop. After two years of wasted nights and one night stands with too many people one comment from Nick seemed to change it all. He hadn't even been my boyfriend at the time but when he said this it was like something just clicked inside my head. I knew what I was doing wasn't how I truly was or ever had wanted to be. I knew it had to end and gradually it did. Maybe it all sounds cheesy and ridiculous but I don't know if I'd still be in the same position I am now if it wasn't for Nick. I've heard all the comments from my parents before but I tend to block out what they say because of my mindset that their just old and their lives hardly ever go wrong. Nick was not exactly my age but for reasons I won't name, I listened. I felt like he understood me, maybe not why I did what I did, but he offered me some sense of relief and assurance that I could change and I wasn't the person my actions were making me out to be.
Four months later he's my boyfriend and my childhood plan seems to be back on track. My whole frame of mind is right again and all the love for partying and sex has diminished. That dumb saying everyone hears in all the love stories "You make me want to be a better person," holds alot of truth, and thanks to him now I know.
Never in my life have I felt so balanced. I never thought one person could change someone so much. The majority of my fucked up past I think was due to the fact it wasn't what I had planned. When I was younger, I had this big, great plan for myself and for the longest time it went perfectly. Sophmore year,when I quit all sports and activities and discovered booze, is when it really went downhill. Instead of picking myself back up and doing something about it I figured I already fucked up and couldn't forgive myself for my past mistakes so why stop. After two years of wasted nights and one night stands with too many people one comment from Nick seemed to change it all. He hadn't even been my boyfriend at the time but when he said this it was like something just clicked inside my head. I knew what I was doing wasn't how I truly was or ever had wanted to be. I knew it had to end and gradually it did. Maybe it all sounds cheesy and ridiculous but I don't know if I'd still be in the same position I am now if it wasn't for Nick. I've heard all the comments from my parents before but I tend to block out what they say because of my mindset that their just old and their lives hardly ever go wrong. Nick was not exactly my age but for reasons I won't name, I listened. I felt like he understood me, maybe not why I did what I did, but he offered me some sense of relief and assurance that I could change and I wasn't the person my actions were making me out to be.
Four months later he's my boyfriend and my childhood plan seems to be back on track. My whole frame of mind is right again and all the love for partying and sex has diminished. That dumb saying everyone hears in all the love stories "You make me want to be a better person," holds alot of truth, and thanks to him now I know.